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THE SATURDAY EVENING POST 169 FIRST AID for This sort of verbal fencing with the knows very well, once he has had a Russians, while stimulating at the little experience, that this means, Get time, does not, on the whole, contribute the hell over to the Foreign Office im- to an ambassador's pleasure in his job. mediately and tell them the follow- INDIGESTION If the Russians were the only problem, ing ,, however, the ambassador's working A brief synthesis of my experience conditions would not be too bad. Un- in Iran will illustrate the point. There fortunately, they are not the only I found that a vacuous and unrealistic problem. There were times, in my more British policy was blundering the West- harassed moments, when I wondered ern world into a major defeat, said so whether my biggest problem was not in my dispatches to Washington, and the Russians-nor for that matter, recommended American counter- the Indians, the Greeks or the Iranians measures to help retrieve the situation. to whom I was accredited- - but rather, Washington, however, acted as though the Americans. I refer here to the it were placing greater reliance upon Americans who sat back in Washington its reports from the British Foreign at desks in the State Department and, Office in London than upon the rep- with equally shuddery recollections, to resentations of its own ambassador in many of the Americans who descended the field. upon me in my distant diplomatic If the Russians and the heavy think- posts. ers in Washington fail to give an am- All There was a time, let campaign bassador a fine case of ulcers, the is contributors take note, when an am- visitors to his post surely will. I counted hands praise CHAP-ANS' Freshen-up with bassador was regarded as quite a sixty-four different kinds of services person. Theoretically, he is still the which our embassy in Athens was for hands that work! personal representative of the Pres- rendering to these callers. We handled ident of the United States-in effect their mail, made reservations in hotels Countless letters of praise from men (and -Seltzer the alter ego of the head of state whom and on ships and airplanes, wired housewives too) tell of the wonderful re- he represents. In olden times, when the ahead to their next points of call for lief 'Chap-ans' brings to red, rough, cracked, weather-sore hands. ambassador of a great monarch arrived hotel reservations, met all planes, If you' re a mechanic, an outdoor worker, at the border of the country to which trains and ships, supplied local trans- or a professional man if your hands are Reg. U.S. Pat. Off. he was accredited, there were cere- portation, organized personally con- irritated by harsh chemicals, grease, grime, BRAND ducted sight-seeing tours, gave advice, or frequent washings try 'Chap-ans'. You'll like the way ALKA-SELTZER's changed money-a the best possible Scientifically formulated-specially controlled alkalizing action soothes rate - briefed the visitors on local eco- soothing and antiseptic (contains the won- der drug Hexachlorophene). your stomach. Get speedy relief- nomic and political conditions-es) Buy 'Chap-ans' in the handy, man-sized without bounce-back of excess acid- The best antifreeze solution, cially congressmen, if they were in- tube. Easy to apply-penetrating-swiftly ity. Enjoy sparkling LKA-SELTZER! from a woman driver's viewpoint, terested-arranged hunting trips and absorbed. The only hand cream is a fur coat. -DAN BENNETT. otherentertainment, and often wangled made especially for men. appointments for the visitors with busy heads of state. These are but a Try Alka-Seltzer few of the services; in almost all of our also for embassies, one or two men do nothing R HEADACHE came riding on a white elephant, and Chapans NEW monies befitting his high station. He but assist incoming guests. I even HAND CREAM thought seriously, for a wry moment, COLD DISTRESS of having an attendant stationed at Chap Stick Co., FOR with a vast entourage. Great care was MEN MUSCULAR ACHES Lynchburg, Virginia taken not to outrage his high dignity. our embassy door to wipe the wind- To do so would be to insult the sov- shields of clients' cars. ereign he personally represented. The Of the various kinds of visitors, king's first minister met him, also ac- junketing congressmente are by far the SEND FOR THIS ON DISPLAY AT ALL companied by a vast entourage. Trum- ambassador's most agonizing problem. DRUG STORES pets were sounded, the population ac- Before exploring this chamber of hor- U.S. and Canada claimed him. The day was great in- rors, let me state for the record that I GIANT TRAIN BOOK MADE BY MILES LABORATORIES, INC., ELKHART, IND. deed! And when he appeared before met many members of the House and the king and addressed him, he did so Senate who were dignified, acted like as an equal. gentlemen, were sincerely interested in TODAY! SAVINGS The truth of the matter is that the obtaining all information possible to American ambassador today is no assist them in making wise judgments pay for this longer treated by the President or the when they returned to Washington, equipment in State Department as the personal rep- and caused the ambassador as little a few months resentative of the head of state. Rather, trouble as possible. I wish I could say he functions as the head of an overseas this for all the congressmen who de- 'Three men now unload cars of heavy structural steel branch of the State Department. He scended upon me. in half the time it took six men." "One man now does this job faster than our old three man crew." Reports takes his orders, even in most vital The King and Queen of Greece were like these tell why it costs more to do without Louden matters, not from the Secretary of particular favorites of the traveling Overhead Material Handling than it does to buy it. Most Louden installations pay for themselves in 18 State, who is very, very busy, but from legislators, and especially the beautiful months. Many pay out in 6 months. Some do in a a desk officer in Washington who would queen. Aside from being "the cutest single Write for how-to-do-it idea book, "Eco- nomical Material Handling.' rank as a third secretary of embassy if little queenie" any congressman ever Free; no obligation. he were out in the field. met, she delighted them with her THE LOUDEN MACHINERY co. 5601 Broadway, Fairfield, lowa Perhaps a change of Secretaries of frankness, her sharp tongue and her 48 BIG PAGES State will alter this situation. Sec- thoroughly American fashion of re- retary Acheson does not, I am con- ferring to her earlier days as "before OVER 100 COLOR PICTURES vinced, hold the role of ambassador in we were in the king business.' But this Look 'em over! Read all about 'em. Made-to-Measure very high esteem, and it is perhaps popularity increased the ambassador's New American Flyer Trains with sen- CLOTHES significant that only two of the men in difficulties, for every visiting congres- sational Air Chime Whistle-the world's only scale model trains that the present State Department's top sional delegation had to see the at- run on real 2-rail track-puff smoke- FOR MEN echelon actually have had experience tractive royal couple, and that meant and have piston-timed choo-choo" as heads of mission. Of course, an am- bringing along also the Navy doctors, sounds. Best and most complete line of accessories. Sensational new Ani- bassador who is a strong personality the political colonels, the nephews in mated Station and Coach with tiny suits OR OVERCOATS will influence policy to an extent, but the Army and the other hangers-on- passengers who board and leave train, $47.50 to $69.50 he will find himself in a continual state not to mention, in one case, the entire walk around platform. This thrilling book cost over $175,000.00 to pro- of frustration if Washington does not crew of the special airplane in which duce-but you can get a copy for only NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED- happen to agree with him. Cablegrams one such group was traveling. And woe 10c. Better hurry! NATIONALLY PRICED from the State Department to the am- to the ambassador who failed to make bassador, invariably signed "Acheson,' an appointment fitting the congress- GILBERT HALL OF SCIENCE, although the Secretary has not even men's convenience. 325 Erector Square, New Haven 6, Conn. seen the message nine times out of ten, I remember one congressman whom Rush Giant Train Book. I enclose 10c. TAILORING COMPANY still are couched in polite terms sug- we poured off an airplane in a state Name CINCINNAT OHIO gesting that if the ambassador 'deems bordering on delirium tremens. Some- it appropriate," or "at his discretion," how we managed to get him into a Street 'te for name of our he may see the foreign minister of the fairly upright and coherent condition LUSIVE AUTHORIZED AGENCY in your locality City State country to which he is accredited and by the time of the royal visit, and all This offer good only in U. S. A. tell him so and so. But the ambassador went surprisingly well, although the

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    "ocrText": "THE SATURDAY EVENING POST\n169\nFIRST AID for\nThis sort of verbal fencing with the\nknows very well, once he has had a\nRussians, while stimulating at the\nlittle experience, that this means, Get\ntime, does not, on the whole, contribute\nthe hell over to the Foreign Office im-\nto an ambassador's pleasure in his job.\nmediately and tell them the follow-\nINDIGESTION\nIf the Russians were the only problem,\ning\n,,\nhowever, the ambassador's working\nA brief synthesis of my experience\nconditions would not be too bad. Un-\nin Iran will illustrate the point. There\nfortunately, they are not the only\nI found that a vacuous and unrealistic\nproblem. There were times, in my more\nBritish policy was blundering the West-\nharassed moments, when I wondered\nern world into a major defeat, said so\nwhether my biggest problem was not\nin my dispatches to Washington, and\nthe Russians-nor for that matter,\nrecommended American counter-\nthe Indians, the Greeks or the Iranians\nmeasures to help retrieve the situation.\nto whom I was accredited- - but rather,\nWashington, however, acted as though\nthe Americans. I refer here to the\nit were placing greater reliance upon\nAmericans who sat back in Washington\nits reports from the British Foreign\nat desks in the State Department and, Office in London than upon the rep-\nwith equally shuddery recollections, to\nresentations of its own ambassador in\nmany of the Americans who descended\nthe field.\nupon me in my distant diplomatic\nIf the Russians and the heavy think-\nposts.\ners in Washington fail to give an am-\nAll\nThere was a time, let campaign\nbassador a fine case of ulcers, the\nis\ncontributors take note, when an am-\nvisitors to his post surely will. I counted\nhands praise CHAP-ANS'\nFreshen-up with\nbassador was regarded as quite a\nsixty-four different kinds of services\nperson. Theoretically, he is still the\nwhich our embassy in Athens was\nfor hands that work!\npersonal representative of the Pres-\nrendering to these callers. We handled\nident of the United States-in effect\ntheir mail, made reservations in hotels\nCountless letters of praise from men (and\n-Seltzer\nthe alter ego of the head of state whom\nand on ships and airplanes, wired\nhousewives too) tell of the wonderful re-\nhe represents. In olden times, when the\nahead to their next points of call for\nlief 'Chap-ans' brings to red, rough,\ncracked, weather-sore hands.\nambassador of a great monarch arrived\nhotel reservations, met all planes,\nIf you' re a mechanic, an outdoor worker,\nat the border of the country to which\ntrains and ships, supplied local trans-\nor a professional man if your hands are\nReg. U.S. Pat. Off.\nhe was accredited, there were cere-\nportation, organized personally con-\nirritated by harsh chemicals, grease, grime,\nBRAND\nducted sight-seeing tours, gave advice,\nor frequent washings try 'Chap-ans'.\nYou'll like the way ALKA-SELTZER's\nchanged money-a the best possible\nScientifically formulated-specially\ncontrolled alkalizing action soothes\nrate - briefed the visitors on local eco-\nsoothing and antiseptic (contains the won-\nder drug Hexachlorophene).\nyour stomach. Get speedy relief-\nnomic and political conditions-es)\nBuy 'Chap-ans' in the handy, man-sized\nwithout bounce-back of excess acid-\nThe best antifreeze solution,\ncially congressmen, if they were in-\ntube. Easy to apply-penetrating-swiftly\nity. Enjoy sparkling LKA-SELTZER!\nfrom a woman driver's viewpoint,\nterested-arranged hunting trips and\nabsorbed. The only hand cream\nis a fur coat.\n-DAN BENNETT.\notherentertainment, and often wangled\nmade especially for men.\nappointments for the visitors with\nbusy heads of state. These are but a\nTry Alka-Seltzer\nfew of the services; in almost all of our\nalso for\nembassies, one or two men do nothing\nR\nHEADACHE\ncame riding on a white elephant, and\nChapans\nNEW\nmonies befitting his high station. He\nbut assist incoming guests. I even\nHAND\nCREAM\nthought seriously, for a wry moment,\nCOLD DISTRESS\nof having an attendant stationed at\nChap Stick Co.,\nFOR\nwith a vast entourage. Great care was\nMEN\nMUSCULAR ACHES\nLynchburg, Virginia\ntaken not to outrage his high dignity.\nour embassy door to wipe the wind-\nTo do so would be to insult the sov-\nshields of clients' cars.\nereign he personally represented. The\nOf the various kinds of visitors,\nking's first minister met him, also ac-\njunketing congressmente are by far the\nSEND FOR THIS\nON DISPLAY AT ALL\ncompanied by a vast entourage. Trum-\nambassador's most agonizing problem.\nDRUG STORES\npets were sounded, the population ac-\nBefore exploring this chamber of hor-\nU.S. and Canada\nclaimed him. The day was great in-\nrors, let me state for the record that I\nGIANT TRAIN BOOK\nMADE BY\nMILES LABORATORIES, INC., ELKHART, IND.\ndeed! And when he appeared before\nmet many members of the House and\nthe king and addressed him, he did so\nSenate who were dignified, acted like\nas an equal.\ngentlemen, were sincerely interested in\nTODAY!\nSAVINGS\nThe truth of the matter is that the\nobtaining all information possible to\nAmerican ambassador today is no\nassist them in making wise judgments\npay for this\nlonger treated by the President or the\nwhen they returned to Washington,\nequipment in\nState Department as the personal rep-\nand caused the ambassador as little\na few months\nresentative of the head of state. Rather,\ntrouble as possible. I wish I could say\nhe functions as the head of an overseas this for all the congressmen who de-\n'Three men now unload cars of heavy structural steel\nbranch of the State Department. He\nscended upon me.\nin half the time it took six men.\" \"One man now does\nthis job faster than our old three man crew.\" Reports\ntakes his orders, even in most vital\nThe King and Queen of Greece were\nlike these tell why it costs more to do without Louden\nmatters, not from the Secretary of\nparticular favorites of the traveling\nOverhead Material Handling than it does to buy it.\nMost Louden installations pay for themselves in 18\nState, who is very, very busy, but from\nlegislators, and especially the beautiful\nmonths. Many pay out in 6 months. Some do in a\na desk officer in Washington who would\nqueen. Aside from being \"the cutest\nsingle Write for how-to-do-it idea book, \"Eco-\nnomical Material Handling.'\nrank as a third secretary of embassy if\nlittle queenie\" any congressman ever\nFree; no obligation.\nhe were out in the field.\nmet, she delighted them with her\nTHE LOUDEN MACHINERY co.\n5601 Broadway, Fairfield, lowa\nPerhaps a change of Secretaries of\nfrankness, her sharp tongue and her\n48\nBIG PAGES\nState will alter this situation. Sec-\nthoroughly American fashion of re-\nretary Acheson does not, I am con-\nferring to her earlier days as \"before\nOVER 100 COLOR PICTURES\nvinced, hold the role of ambassador in\nwe were in the king business.' But this\nLook 'em over! Read all about 'em.\nMade-to-Measure\nvery high esteem, and it is perhaps\npopularity increased the ambassador's\nNew American Flyer Trains with sen-\nCLOTHES\nsignificant that only two of the men in\ndifficulties, for every visiting congres-\nsational Air Chime Whistle-the\nworld's only scale model trains that\nthe present State Department's top\nsional delegation had to see the at-\nrun on real 2-rail track-puff smoke-\nFOR MEN\nechelon actually have had experience\ntractive royal couple, and that meant\nand have piston-timed choo-choo\"\nas heads of mission. Of course, an am-\nbringing along also the Navy doctors,\nsounds. Best and most complete line\nof accessories. Sensational new Ani-\nbassador who is a strong personality\nthe political colonels, the nephews in\nmated Station and Coach with tiny\nsuits OR OVERCOATS\nwill influence policy to an extent, but\nthe Army and the other hangers-on-\npassengers who board and leave train,\n$47.50 to $69.50\nhe will find himself in a continual state\nnot to mention, in one case, the entire\nwalk around platform. This thrilling\nbook cost over $175,000.00 to pro-\nof frustration if Washington does not\ncrew of the special airplane in which\nduce-but you can get a copy for only\nNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED-\nhappen to agree with him. Cablegrams\none such group was traveling. And woe\n10c. Better hurry!\nNATIONALLY PRICED\nfrom the State Department to the am-\nto the ambassador who failed to make\nbassador, invariably signed \"Acheson,'\nan appointment fitting the congress-\nGILBERT HALL OF SCIENCE,\nalthough the Secretary has not even\nmen's convenience.\n325 Erector Square, New Haven 6, Conn.\nseen the message nine times out of ten,\nI remember one congressman whom\nRush Giant Train Book. I enclose 10c.\nTAILORING COMPANY\nstill are couched in polite terms sug-\nwe poured off an airplane in a state\nName\nCINCINNAT OHIO\ngesting that if the ambassador 'deems\nbordering on delirium tremens. Some-\nit appropriate,\" or \"at his discretion,\"\nhow we managed to get him into a\nStreet\n'te for name of our\nhe may see the foreign minister of the\nfairly upright and coherent condition\nLUSIVE AUTHORIZED AGENCY in your locality\nCity\nState\ncountry to which he is accredited and\nby the time of the royal visit, and all\nThis offer good only in U. S. A.\ntell him so and so. But the ambassador\nwent surprisingly well, although the"
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