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1975 Correspondence A
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1975 Correspondence A
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Originally Processed With FOIA(s):
FOIA Number:
S
S
FOIA
MARKER
This is not a textual record. This is used as an
administrative marker by the George Bush Presidential
Library Staff.
Record Group/Collection:
Donated Historical Materials
Collection/Office of Origin: Bush, George H.W., Collection
Series:
Personal Papers
Subseries:
China File, Correspondence File
OA/ID Number:
25870
Folder ID Number:
25870-020
Folder Title:
1975 Correspondence A
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6
22
1
1
The Alfalfa Club
ALFALFA-LUX-EST
File
POST OFFICE BOX 1600
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20013
FRANK BORMAN
President
December 20, 1974
TO OUR MEMBERS:
The Annual Meeting of the ALFALFA CLUB was held December 10, 1974, in the Metropolitan Club.
All actions taken by the Officers and Committees were ratified.
Officers for 1975 in the normal line of Alfalfa succession are:
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
President-Hubert H. Humphrey
First Vice President-Henry M. Jackson
Treasurer-Thomas W. McKnew
Second Vice President-Warren E. Burger
Assistant Treasurer-William T. Bell
Secretary-Richard E. Pearson
The following were elected to membership:
Stanley Adams
James A. Elkins, Jr.
Francis G. Addison, 3rd
Alexander M. Haig, Jr.
Lloyd M. Bentsen, Jr.
Henry A. Kissinger
George S. Brown, Jr.
David Lloyd Kreeger
Vincent C. Burke, Jr.
Irving S. Shapiro
The Annual Dinner will be given at the Statler Hilton Hotel on Saturday, January 25, 1975, at precisely
seven-fifteen o'clock.
William T. Bell is Chairman of the Committee on Dinner Arrangements.
Deaths were reported—J. O. Richardson, VY 1927; Lewis W. Douglas, VY 1948; Winthrop W. Aldrich,
VY 1950; Raymond Henle, VY 1951; Carl A. Spaatz, VY 1952; Arthur Krock, VY 1953; William J. Flather,
VY 1954; Earl Warren, VY 1954; R. Roy Dunn, VY 1955.
RICHARD E. PEARSON, Secretary
Bis dat qui cito dat
JF
The Alfalfa Club
tob
ALFALFA-LUX-EST
POST OFFICE BOX 1600
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20013
FRANK BORMAN
PRESIDENT
IMPORTANT NOTICE
+ scirt check 4 November 8, 1974
TO OUR MEMBERS:
The Sixty-second Annual Dinner of THE ALFALFA CLUB will be given in the Statler
Hilton Hotel, Washington, D. C., on Saturday, January 25, 1975, at precisely seven-fifteen
o'clock.
The dinner list is limited to six hundred members and guests. It is accordingly neces-
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
sary to restrict the number of guests any member may bring to four in addition to himself:
If you are unable to attend, will you please advise the Dinner Committee as soon as possible.
(Members who invite guests to attend the Alfalfa Dinner should expect to be present
themselves.)
You are requested to send promptly to the DINNER COMMITTEE, ALFALFA CLUB,
POST OFFICE BOX 1600, WASHINGTON, D.C. 20013 the names and addresses of your
guests so that formal invitations may be sent to them in your name. Please do not, however,
send in the name of any guest until you have had a DEFINITE acceptance from him. When
listing guests please indicate their professional or business affiliations for the purpose of the
guest list which is distributed at the Dinner. It is essential to have the list of your guests as
early as possible.
The prominence of our guests has added to the interest in, and success of, our Dinners.
The Club itself does not issue invitations. The only guests are those invited by members,
and it is gratifying to note the number of distinguished persons that grace our Dinners
each year.
The guest list will close January 10, 1975. Kindly bear this date in mind.
The Dinner will be $50.00 the plate and your check should be made payable to THE
ALFALFA CLUB.
WILLIAM T. BELL, Chairman
Alfalfa Dinner Committee
DRAFT
GEORGE BUSH
ALFALFA CLUB
JAN. 25, 1975
(PRESIDENT OF ALFALFA INTROS GEORGE BUSH. GEORGE AND AN
NOT "USED
INTERPRETER ENTER. GEORGE WEARS MAO JACKET.)
GEORGE:
(SPEAKS SOME WORDS IN CHINESE)
INTERPRETER: (TRANSLATING)
I am honored that you have asked me to be your nominee
for President on the Alfalfa ticket.
GEORGE:
(SPEAKS MORE WORDS IN CHINESE)
INTERPRETER: (TRANSLATING)
I thank you for inviting me to visit the United States.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
GEORGE:
(MORE CHINESE)
INTERPRETER: (TRANSLATING)
Your shirts will be ready by Thursday.
(INTERPRETER EXITS.)
(THE REST OF GEORGE'S SPEECH WILL BE IN ENGLISH.)
GEORGE:
He had to leave. Our rickshaw is in a towaway zone.
I returned to the United States under President Ford's
amnesty program.
I must admit I was reluctant to come to America. On my last
visit, I got brain ashed by George Romney.
2
Do you like the outfit? URNS AROUND AND MODELS IT)
It really makes you stand out in a crowd
unless the
crowd I'm standing in is in China.
I picked it up in the Peking Tall Man's Shop. They fit any
man who's over five feet tall.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
They're really great. It's machine washable. And as soon as
we get a machine over there, I'm gonna wash it.
A
few
observations about China would seem to be
in order. Of course, comparisons between China and the
United States are inevitable. In one country, you have
great unhappiness, with the proletarian masses desperately
struggling to overcome the excesses of the power-hungry
political elite. And believe me, conditions aren't much better
in China either.
Actually, for me life in Peking was pretty mundane till
Wilbur Mills was kind enough to ship over that lovely
Argentine clerk-typist.
3
I heard so much talk about inflation. But actually, things,
haven't changed much here in the States. I just passed by
a church where a wedding was getting out. And the families
were throwing rice. Except the bride and groom were trying
to catch it in their mouths.
Prices are going up so fast by the time the rice hit their
faces, the cost had tripled.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
The Alfalfa Party has asked me to be their nominee because
of my strong track record. I was defeated for the Senate in
1972
Listen, these days if you're a Republican, that's
considered good.
Last year, President Ford named me Ambassador to the People's
Republic of China
the playground of the Eastern World.
I was lucky to get the post. The President said he couldn't
make up his mind who to give it to
me or Ron Ziegler.
4
I pledge to cut unnecessary government spending. On the
subject of spending, incidentally, President Ford told me
he has some good news and bad news. The good news is he
won't install that 300 thousand dollar indoor swimming pool.
The bad news is he will install a 500 million dollar indoor
ski mountain shope
By the way, Mr. Ford just announced a new Cabinet appointment
Jean Claude Killy
as Secretary of Schussing.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
I'm amazed by Mr. Ford's E ergy. Two weeks on the slopes,
and the worst he got was a chapped "win" button.
The President was limping on his return home. But that was
just a chronic football injury which was aggravated when
he read the latest Gallup Poll.
I pledge to lower the price of sugar. In the past year,
it's shot up 300%. Pretty soon, the only American with a
cavity will be Rockefeller.
&
$5
I VOW to bring a sense of morality back to politics. Do
you know that in Nevada, a woman named Beverly Harrell,
who runs a house of ill repute, ran for the Assembly. Her
campaign slogan was, "The twenty bucks stops here".
Beverly came to the hallowed halls of Congress and attempted
to air her views. But the male members refused to let her
speak. They gathered around her and gang-filibustered.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
Administration.
And no lesbians in my Exhingt. In Massachusetts, a lesbian
was elected to Congress. Elaine Nobel was given a seat in
the House
which is more than she'll ever be given on a bus.
I pledge to bring down the price of food stamps to help
needy families in McLean, Virginia.
These days all they can afford is gold.
6
Americans don't have enough for the bare necessities. Today
a man stopped me in front of a massage parlor and asked if
I could spare a dime for a neck rub.
I said, "I didn't realize things were that bad, Senator
Thurmond."
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
paing
If elected, I will curb wasteful spending. President Ford
just spent the taxpayers' dollars to send his dog to
obedience school. They taught his dog how to roll over
*
and play dead. Now Jerry wants to find out whether the school
accepts members of Congress.
I will force Detroit to lower its prices on Hew cars. The
XXX Congress recently passed a bill doing away
with mandatory seat belt buckling. This year, you won't
have to worry about your seat buckling when you get in your
car. You will have to worry about your legs buckling when
you get the bill.
My candidacy has received the endorsement of the Washington
Post. In spite of that, I intend to press on.
Incidentally, you've probably heard they're making a movie
out of "All the President's Men". They just completed the
casting. Carl Bernstein will be played by Dustin Hoffman.
?
Bob Woodward will be played by Robert Redford. (TRUE) And
of course, the Reverend Billy Graham will be played by
Rabbi Barush Koraf. (HIS NAME PROBABLY MISSPELLED)
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
It's only fair that you know who'll be in my Cabinet.
My Secretary of Defense wi .1 be Wilbur Mills. That will
keep us from going to war ith Argentina.
Wilbur's worried about inflation and what it will do to
the price of G-strings.
He asked Congress to impose a freeze on silicone.
8
I'm giving EarloButz a new position. After all those years
on the farm, it's time he stepped into something new.
He will be my Ambassador to the Vatican.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
Secretary Butz apologized for making derogatory remarks
against the Pope for his stand against birth control.
Actually, the Pope said he's normally against birth control,
but he would consider a dispensation in the case of Earl
Butz' parents.
Mr. Butz is trying to get back on good terms with the Church.
At his press conference the other day, he answered half the
?
questions in Latin.
There is a basic difference in philosophy between the
Catholic Church and the White House. The Church lets you
eat meat every day now.
9
My Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare will be
Ronald Reagan. Ronnie will make sure every American
receives a free bottle of hair dye.
Ronnie has a lot of support in the grass roots
although
his barber swears they're grey roots.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
My Secretary of State will be Bella Abzug. She's promised
me she I 11 work hard, and won't be just another pretty face.
Bella will be a real asset. These days, it's handy to. have
someone around who looks like King Faisal.
10
For Vice President, Gene cal George Brown. Earl Butz has
insulted the Catholics. General Brown has insulted the Jews.
There is one segment of he population that has been totally
ignored. I've instructed General Brown to humiliate WASPS.
He will travel the length and breadth of the land and lurk
in the parking lot of each and every Howard Johnson's
restaurant. He'll ridicule any person who drives up in a
Dodge station wagon and orders a sandwich made with white
bread. His terrorist tactics will extend to suburban
communities At where WASPS ive. Any new WASPS who move into
the neiborhood George own will go to your home and burn
your Pat Boone records Oi the lawn.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
Today, one out of every six Americans works for the government.
35 million government em] loyees. A high percentage of these
are politicians (MAYBE C 1E UP WITH AN APPROXIMATE NUMBER)
on a federal, state, or : cal level. My plan, if elected, is
to increase that number
to require every American to
simultaneously run for public office. EMEXY MAN, EMEXY NEMBK,
EXEXX shixd. They would do this not every four years, but
every day, for the rest of their lives. Consider the
possibilities. 210 million people throwing their hats into
the ring. This will pump adrenalin into the hat industry. POLITICS,,
to say nothing of the ri: industry
HAT INDUSTRY.
There will be millions of new shows on the TV networks. From
dawn to dusk, how glorious it will be to hear 24 hours of
continuous, uninterrupted 30 second campaign spots.
Sales of hand lotion will soar.
I'm talking about every man, woman, and child. Yes, child.
A baby's first words has been traditionally "Mama". Now
it will be the ringing phrase, "We must reorder our
priorities".
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
At every major sports event, crowds will rise to sing our
new National Anthem, "Promises, Promises".
It will be an incredible shot in the arm for the public
relations firms. 210 million customized bumper stickers.
As far as the eye can see, the highways of this great country
will be bumper to bumper with Lincoln Continentals.
You may say, "If each person votes for himself, how can anyone
win?" True, but how can anyone lose?'
It will be a boon to the beleaguered building industry.
Millions of new and expensive homes will have to be built
in the Washington area.
The taxpayer will save money on postage. He will no longer
have to write his Congressman with a Emmplaink. If he has
a complaint, he can talk to himself in the shower.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
** wxx* END My plan will end the long lines at the various
state unemployment offices and create one unbelievable
line in front of the Sans Souci. Army cots will be provided
along (NAME OF STREET THE RESTAURANT' SON). Who knows? Some
night, you may establish a meaningful relationship with a
buddy in the next bunk. What delicious pleasure the
maitre 'd (HIS NAME, IF HE'S FAMOUS) will take in saying,
"Yes, Mr. Jones, I have your reservation for lunch. There
will be a slight 23 year wait for a table. Won't you have
a drink at the bar in Delaware?"
13
This week alone, I was sneered at by George McGovern,
bad-mouthed by Scoop Jackson, and kicked in the groin
by Barry Goldwater. I consider that my mandate. Thank you.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
7
G Buch
JN-
Alfalfa Club speech
fite
NIHAO,
Jan 24, 1975
BADIAN SAN KE WO DAO JULEBU CHU A
WO YAO MAI YITIAO HONGDE KUZI
JINTIAN SHI XINGI-LIU MINGTIAN SHI KINGI-TIAN.
LITERALLY TRANSLATED, THAT MEANS'YOUR SHIRTS WILL BE
READY ON MONDAY."
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
DO YOU LIKE IT? I GOT IT IN PEKING AT THE TALL
MEN'S SHOP - FOR MEN OVER FIVE FEET TALL.
BEFORE COMMENCING WITH THE LIES, I'D LIKE TO %
SAY ONE OR TWO THINGS ABOUT CHINA. OF COURSE, COMPARISONS
BETWEEN CHINA AND THE U.S. ARE INEVITABLE. ON THE ONE
HAND, YOU HAVE A COUNTRY WITH GREAT UNHAPPINESS, WHERE
THE PROLETARIAN MASSES ARE DESPERATELY STRUGGLING TO
EXCESSES
OVERCOME THE
OF THE POWER HUNGRY POLITICA L ELITE.
AND, TO TELL THE TRUTH, THINGS AREN'T MUCH BETTER IN CHINA.
(Pause)
- 2 -
LAST SUMMER WHEN THE PAPERS SUGGESTED THAT I
MIGHT BECOME VICE PRESIDENT, MY NAME BECAME A HOUSEHOLD
WORD - WHO?
Photo Copy Preservation
BUT TODAY MY CANDIDACY RECEIVED THE ENDORSE-
MENT OF THE WASHINGTON POST. IN SPITE OF THAT, I INTEND
TO PRESS ON.
NATURALLY, MY CHOICE OF A RUNNING MATE HAS
BEEN A SOURCE OF CONSTANT WORRY. CLEARLY IT WOULD BE
Slow-
measured.
FOOLISH TO PICK A MAN MORE FAMILIAR TO THE PUBLIC THAN
I.
AND, JUST AS CLEARLY, IT WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND A
MAN LESS FAMILIAR TO THE PUBLIC. HOWEVER, IHAVE THE
PERFECT CHOICE - MORRIS UDALL. (Pause). TOGETHER, WE
HAVE A RECOGNITION FACTOR OF ZERO POINT SEVEN PER CENT.
Pause -
new thought.
I ASSURE YOU, RIGHT AT THE OUTSET, THAT MINE
WILL NOT BE A DICTATORIAL ADMINISTRATION. RATHER, IT WILL
BE FOUNDED ON THE GREAT ALFALFA TRADITION OF GIVE
AND TAKE
YOU GIVE AND LL TAKE.
- 3 -
THEREFORE, I PLEDGE TO ALL OF YOU THAT I WILL OBSERVE
THE UNWRITTEN CODE THAT HAS GUIDED THE CANDIDACY OF
EVERY ALFALFA CANDIDATE SINCE THE PARTY BEGAN:
ALFALFA SHALL GROW:
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ON QUID PRO QUO:
OR, FROM THE CANDIDATE'S MANUAL BY TOM McKNEW:
I WILL CLEAVE TO ONE PRINCIPLE - NOBLEST AND PUREST;
IF YOU WILL SCRATCH MY BACK, I WILL SCRATCH YOUREST.
BUT I MUST CONFESS ONE SMALL MATTER BOTHERS ME
IN ACCEPTING THIS NOMINATION. HOW CAN I RUN AGAINST PRESIDENT
FORD WHEN HE GAVE ME THIS JOB IN CHINA ?
ACTUALLY, FOR A WHILE THERE, HE COULDN'T MAKE
UP HIS MIND WHO TO SEND - ME
OR GERALD terHORST.
I KNOW THE UGLY RUMOR PERSISTS THAT HE SENT ME
TO CHINA SO THAT HE COULD SECURE THE ALFALFA NOMINATION
FOR HIMSELF AND RUN ON BOTH TICKETS.
- 4 - -
THIS RUMOR, OF COURSE, IS TOTALLY UNFOUNDED.
IN FACT, SHOULD I LOSE THE ELECTION, I AM SURE HE WILL
GIVE ME ANOTHER JOB
LIKE
CHIEF DELEGATE TO THE
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PALESTINE LIBERATION ORGANIZATION.
BUT I WOULD RATHER RUN AGAINST THE PRESIDENT
THAN THE VICE PRESIDENT. WITH THE STOCK MARKET THE WAY
IT IS, THIS IS NO TIME FOR ME TO HAVE TO REPAY A LOAN.
(Aside)
I'M TOLD THE PRICE OF SUGAR HAS SHOT UP 300
PER CENT HERE. GEE, PRETTY SOON NELSON ROCKEFELLER WILL
BE THE ONLY AMERICAN WITH A CAVITY.
Pause -
new thought
(Pause)
FOR JUST A MINUTE, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE
OPPOSITION.
CHUCK PERCY HAS ALREADY STATED THAT HE WILL
NOT RUN
MAKING HIM THE FIRST ANNOUNCED CANDIDATE.
- 5 -
HOWEVER, THE REPUBLICANS WILL PROBABLY GO WITH PRESIDENT
FORD. YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S GREAT TO HAVE AN ATHLETE AS
PRESIDENT. IMAGINE, TWO WEEKS ON THE SKI SLOPE AND ALL
Photo Copy Preservation
HE GOT WAS A CHAPPED "WIN" BUTTON.
ACTUALLY, I HEARD THE PRESIDENT WAS LIMPING
ON HIS WAY HOME. BUT THAT WAS JUST A CHRONIC FOOTBALL
INJURY
AGGRAVATED BY THE GALLUP POLL.
Pause -
new thought
(Pause)
NOW THE DEMOCRATS HAVE MANY RELUCTANT
CANDIDATES TO CHOOSE FROM.
FIRST, I THINK IT IS FAIR TO SAY THAT THE DEMOCRAT
WITH THE MOST EXPERIENCE IS.HUBERT HUMPHREY.
IT'S BEEN SAID THAT HU BERT IS A MAN WHO APPROACHES
EVERY SUBJECT
WITH AN OPEN MOUTH.
AND, CERTAINLY, THERE'S ED MUSKIE - - THE ABE
LINCOLN OF KENNEBUNK BEACH. ED CAME OVER TO PLAY GOLF
WITH US ONE DAY. THE YOUNG PRO WAS OUR FOURTH, AND ON THE
- 6 -
EIGHTH HOLE HE TURNED TO ED AND SAID "SENATOR, I THINK I
DETECT A SWING IN YOUR FLAW. "
ACTUALLY, THERE'S ONLY ONE PROBLEM WITH
ED'S GAME. HE'S GOT A CHRONIC
SLOOK.
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SCOOP JACKSON HAS BEEN CONSIDERED A FRONT
RUNNER, BUT HIS NEW ENERGY PLAN WILL KILL HIM. SCOOP
IS AGAINST THE PRESIDENT'S PROPOSED TARIFF ON IMPORTS.
HE'S A LSO AGAINST THE GASOLINE TAX BEING CONSIDERED BY
CONGRESS.
SCOOP BELIEVES THE WHOLE PROBLEM CAN BE
SOLVED BY REDUCING THE SPEED LIMIT
TO ZERO
WITH
AN ORDINANCE AGAINST BACKING UP.
THEY TELL ME THAT JOHN LINDSAY IS A THREAT.
LAST WEEK HE TOOK A WALKING TOUR AROUND NEW YORK,
STOPPING AT EVERY CORNER TO KISS HANDS
HIS OWN.
AND I HEAR THERE IS SERIOU S TALK ABOUT LLOYD
BENTSEN WHO DEFEATED ME FOR THE SENATE IN 1970. BUT
- 7 -
I'VE NEVER HELD IT AGAINST LLOYD. WE BOTH COME FROM
HOUSTON AND WE BOTH HAVE LOTS OF THE SAME FRIENDS.
AND NOT ONE OF THEM.
THAT I'VE TALKED TO
VOTED
FOR LLOYD.
'ause - new
thought
BUT YOU NEVER WIN ELECTIONS BY WORRYING
ABOUT YOUR OPPONENTS. ONCE THE COUNTRY SEES WHAT
KIND OF CANDIDATE ALFALFA IS PUTTING FORTH, YOU CAN
Photo Copy Preservation
STOP WORR YING
AND I CAN GET TO KNOW YASSAR ARAFAT.
NOW I KNOW YOU ARE WONDERING HOW I PLAN TO
DEAL WITH THE GREAT PROBLEMS OF OUR TIME.
ON THE DOMESTIC SCENE, WE HAVE A PROBLEM OF
RECESSION AND UNEMPLOYMENT, TOGETHER WITH INF LATION.
WHAT ARE THESE BUT NORMAL PHENOMENA WHICH OCCUR
PERIODICALLY, AND WHICH WILL CORRECT THEMSELVES GIVEN TIME.
- 8 -
THE FIRST STEP THEN IS TO CALL A MEETING OF
THE NATION'S LEADING ECONOMISTS AND ASK THEM TO AGREE
ON A PLAN OF ACTION
THAT WILL GIVE ME LOTS OF TIME.
SO WHILE THE ECONOMISTS ARE MEETING, I WILL
INTRODUCE THE BUSH PLAN. TO HALT THE RECESSION, I PLAN
TO REFUND ALL OF LAST YEAR'S TAXES. THE $ 1,000 SOUNDS
TOO MUCH LIKE GEORGE McGOVERN'S PROPOSA L OF 1972
WHICH
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WAS ENDORSED SO STRONGLY BY THE PEOPLE OF MASSACHUSETTS.
TO STOP INFLATION, I PLAN TO DOUBLE NEXT YEAR'S
TAXES. THE NET EFFECT OF THESE PROPOSALS WILL BE LARGELY
THE SAME AS IF I HAD LEFT THE TAX RATE A LONE, BUT I'M NOT
GOING TO BE CALLED A "DO-NOTHING PRESIDENT."
BECAUSE THESE PROPOSA LS MAY HAVE A TEMPORARILY
UNSETTLING EFFECT, I PLAN TO INTRODUCE A ONE YEAR "MOTHBA LL"
ECONOMY. PHASE ONE WILL BE CALLED THE YEAR-ROUND SUPER
BOWL GAME. IF NINETY MILLION AMERICANS CAN STAY AT THEIR
TELEVISION SETS FOR TWO HOURS, WHY NOT FOR 365 DAYS?
- 9 -
IN ORDER TO INSURE THAT THEY DON'T GO OUT
AND BUY THINGS, I PLAN TO CREATE A NEW AGENCY
THE
HEAD OF WHICH WILL ASSUME CABINET RANK. THE AGENCY
WILL BE CALLED THE FHDA. THE FEDERA L HOT DOG ADMINISTRATION
ITS FUNCTION TO DELIVER HOT DOGS TO EVERY HOME IN AMERICA.
I WILL GIVE YOU TWO HOT DOGS AT EVERY INTERMISSION.
TO HEAD THE NEW SUPERAGENCY, I PLAN TO APPOINT
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ONE WHO CAN SELL HOT DOGS
THA T PERSON WILL HAVE TO BE
THOROUGHLY RESPONSIBLE - COMMAND THE RESPECT OF CONGRESS -
AND HAVE A SUPERMAN GOD-LIKE QUALITY.
ONLY ONE PERSON IN AMERICA FILLS THIS TOTAL
IMAGE. MY COMMISSIONER OF HOT DOGS
HENRY KISSINGER
HE'S DUE FOR A PROMOTION.
TO STREAMLINE THE GOVERNMENT, I PLAN TO HAVE
THE CIA TAKE OVER THE POST OFFICE - AS LONG AS THEY'RE
- 10 -
OPENING OUR MAIL - - THEY MIGHT AS WELL DELIVER IT.
NOW, MOST PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES DON'T
ANNOUNCE THEIR CABINET SELECTIONS UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION.
BUT I BELIEVE IN FULL DISCLOSURE
AND
BESIDES, I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE A FEW FRIENDS WHILE I CAN.
TO SECURE THE FEMALE VOTE, I PLAN TO MAKE
SEVERA L WOMEN
Turn page
visibily
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- 11 -
I PLAN TO MAKE SEVERA L WOMEN CABINET MEMBERS.
FOR SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY, I AM GOING
TO APPOINT BILLY JEAN KING. SHE KNOWS A GOOD RACKET
WHEN SHE SEES ONE.
SHE MAY NOT UNDERSTAND FISCAL POLICY, BUT
AS BILL SIMON POINTS OUT
THERE'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR ON-
THE-JOB TRAINING.
MY SECRETARY OF STATE WILL BE WILBUR MILLS
THAT WILL KEEP US FROM GOING TO WAR WITH ARGENTINA.
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FOR DEPUTY SECRETARY OF STATE - BELLA ABZUG.
BELLA WILL BE A REALASSET TO MY NEW FOREIGN POLICY.
IT'S HANDY TO HAVE SOMEONE AROUND WHO LOOKS LIKE KIN G
FEISAL.
THERE IS ONLY ONE MAN FOR SECRETARY OF H.E.W. -
WILLIAM PROXMIRE. BILL HAS RECENTLY COME OUT STRONGLY
AGAINST GOVERNMENT LIMOUSINES
YOU KNOW, BILL HIMSE.IF
-12 -
DOESN'T EVEN USE A CAR .... HE ACTUALLY JOGS TO WORK
SEVEN MILES EVERY MORNING. OF COURSE, WHEN HE GETS
THERE, NO ONE WANTS TO SIT BEHIND HIM. WE'RE GOING
TO GIVE BILL A PRIVATE OFFICE.
AND FINALLY FOR SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR --
I'M GOING TO STICK WITH ROG MORTON. HOW CAN I GET RID
OF ROG AFTER THE WILDERNESS ACT -- THAT WAS THE ACT
HE COMMITTED IN YELLOWSTONE PARK.
NOW - TWO OTHER POSTS OUGHT TO BE ANNOUNCED.
FIRST, MY NEW AMBASSADOR TO THE VATICAN
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EARL BUTZ.
AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS ON THE FARM, IT'S TIME
BUTZ STEPPED INTO SOMETHING NEW.
EARLAPOLOGIZED FOR CRITICIZING THE POPE FOR
HIS STAND AGAINST BIRTH CONTROL. ACTUALLY THE POPE IS
AGAINST BIRTH CONTROL. BUT HE WOULD CONSIDER A
DISPENSATION IN THE CASE OF EARL BUTZ' PARENTS.
SECOND, I PLAN TO APPOINT CARLALBERT TO THE
SUPREME COURT. WHAT WE NEED IS A LITTLE JUSTICE
A
LITTLE JUSTICE.
(Here, music quietly begins)
BECAUSE MY TIME IS LIMITED, I WON'T DISCUSS
ANY OTHER APPOINTMENTS.
BUT I WILL SAY THIS: SOMEWHERE IN MY CABINET
THERE WILL BE A PLACE FOR FRANK BORMAN. ANYONE WHO
CAN GET ME NOMINATED DESERVES A SHARE IN THE SPOILS.
(Music
cue)
NOW, FRIENDS, THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO
GO EAST.
Photo Copy Preservation
I PROMISE YOU THAT WHEN THIS GREAT CAMPAIGN
IS ENDED, YOUR CANDIDATE WILL HAVE BUILT UP - THROUGHOUT
THIS COUNTRY - - A MASSIVE RIPPLE OF SUPPORT.
I ASSURE YOU THAT I WILL DEVOTE EVERY WAKING
HOUR TO VICTORY
AND THAT, WHEN THE FINA L VOTES ARE
TALLIED - - THE DECISION RENDERED - THE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE
HEARD - I WILL HAVE SUNK TO THE OCCASION.
0
United States Liaison Office
Peking, People's Republic of China
July 30, 1975
Dear Hap, Don and Bob:
Nothing like being a cheap skate and answering
three with one!
Thank you so much for the good words from Houston.
I hope to be down there this Fall for a couple of days.
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
Barbara goes back to the States today, and I will
follow at the end of August.
I do miss domestic politics and Texas politics,
but I frankly doubt that I will be back in the political
field in 1976. Barbara and I both have the strong feel-
ing that when this job is finished we will come back to
Houston to live and work. Our second son is there at
the Texas Commercial Bank right now, and our oldest
son has moved to Midland to try to begin in the oil
business. Incidentally, if you need any leg work
down there and could use an amateur to do it, give
George a call. He is eager, and he just graduated
from Harvard Business School.
All in all, this is a fascinating assignment and
we are enjoying it immensely. This is the real land
of contrasts some enormous accomplishments, and yet
on the other hand a form of government that we
Americans couldn't possibly support.
Warm regards,
George Bush
Chief, US Liaison Office
Messrs. Weldon J. Allen,
Don Thompson, Jr., and
Charles R. Leslie,
1611 First City National Bank Building,
Houston, Texas 77002.
WELDON J. ALLEN
1611 FIRST GITY NATIONAL BANK BUILDING
HOUSTON, TEXAS 77002
(713) 224-6536
CABLE: HAPALEN
July 21, 1975
Hon. George Bush, Chief
United States Liaison Office
Peking,
People's Republic of China
Dear George:
Please accept my apology for the seemingly undue delay in re-
sponding to your last letter, in which you point out the problems
involved in visiting China. Regrettable, but we understand,
and appreciate veryymuch your thoughtfulness.
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For the last month or six weeks I have been out of the city, or
up to my ears with out of town people. One of my long time
friends and erstwhile business associates is now living in Riyadh,
Saudi Arabia, and we have some potentially exciting projects in
the hopper. Have been with some of the key Saudis (for us) here
and in New York, and am quite favorably impressed. (One is a
Ph. D. from the University of Texas.) With luck, the next few
years could be interesting.
On the home scene, Big John Connally is making waves, which pleases
me, and Ronald Reagan is still very much in the wings. I must say
further, that President Ford, in my opinion, is showing increasing
courage and good judgment on numbers of critical issues. But the
continued display of complete idiocy and hypocrisy on the part of
so many of the liberal element in Washington is simply incredible.
One must have a strong stomach when listening to or reading of
their mouthings.
On a happier note, and in spite of many in Washington, there are
numbers of indications that perhaps the recession has bottomed out.
But then I have always been an optimist by nature.
We know you are doing a fine job in your sensitive and important
post in China, George. But many of us here are looking forward
to the time when you might again assume a position of leadership
on the domestic scene. Until then, we wish for you and your family
good health and a pleasant and stimulating stay in Peking.
Hap WELDON J. ALLEN
Cordially,
WJA/s
DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Washington, D.C. 20520
December 20, 1974
UNCLASSIFIED
OFFICIAL-INFORMAL
The Honorable
George Bush
Chief, United States
Liaison Office
Peking
Dear George:
Thanks for your letter of November 11 forwarding
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
the resumes on Mr. O'Donnell and Mr. Wu. I
don't know of any appropriate openings now, but
I'll put their resumes into the system in case
someone else is interested or something develops
in the future.
I'm sorry-but not surprised, given the whirlwind
pace--that I didn't have more time to talk with
you in Peking, but I look forward to seeing you
in January back here. Please let me know if you
would like us to make any arrangements in advance.
I've been in touch with Barbara to help arrange
her return travel to Peking. As you probably
know, she plans to leave here January 6, arriving
in Tokyo the evening of January 7, and take the
JAL flight to Peking on Wednesday, January 8.
Seasons Greetings!
Sincerely,
Oserl
Oscar V. Armstrong
Director for People's Republic
of China and Mongolia Affairs
UNCLASSIFIED
E
STATE
AVI
SEAL
VICTOR H. ASHE
NASHVILLE OFFICE:
ASSIGULTURE
DISTRICT 7
GREAT
306 WAR MEMORIAL BUILDING
MEMBER OF COMMITTEES
CHARKE
STATE
NASHVILLE 37219
THE
JUDICIARY
1785
(615) 741-2614
TRANSPORTATION
KNOXVILLE OFFICE:
Senate Chamber
211 WEST HILL AVENUE
KNOXVILLE 37902
State of Tennessee
(615) 525-0338
KNOXVILLE MAILING ADDRESS:
NASHVILLE
P.O. Box 1382
KNOXVILLE 37901
April 1, 1975
HOME ADDRESS:
KM
File
3709 KINGSTON PIKE
KNOXVILLE 37919
write his 5-6
PRCLO
Ambassador George Bush
2. told no, housequest apply mution
hur
c/o U. S. Liason Office
Peking, P.R.C.
c/o U. S. Department of State
Washington, DC
Dear George:
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
Recently I was in Hobe Sound recovering from surgery for removal
of a ruptured disc (how I got it no one knows) and had a delight-
ful visit with your mother.
I mentioned to her that after I take my Law Boards, I plan to take
a trip around the world in the period of August through November
before finally settling down for a permanent job. A friend of mine,
Laurence Gould, will be travelling with me part of the time. You
may recall that he was president of the Yale Republican Club in
1966 when you spoke there.
While I realize it is not possible for regular American tourists
to visit the People's Republic of China, I wondered if it would
be possible to secure permission for me and Larry Gould--perhaps
on the grounds of me being a state senator. If this is just out of
the question, don't hesitate to let me know. But if it is possible,
I would very much like to know how to go about securing proper
clearance and what government agency in Peking one contacts for
possible trips to areas outside Peking.
I trust all is well with you and Barbara.
Cordially yours,
Victor Victor H. Ashe
VHA: jp
Re The Asia Society:
There is no information available which shows
any derogatory reference to Mr. Talbot, a former
U.S. Ambassador to Greece, or the
Re The Asia Society:
There is no information available which shows
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
any derogatory reference to Mr. Talbot, a former
U.S. Ambassador to Greece, or to the Asia Society.
The Society, founded in 1956. by Mr. John D.
Rockefeller, has been a recent recipient of the
latter's multi-million dollar art collection.
The Society has 2200 members and a staff of 60.
Its "aim is to deepen American understanding of
Asis and stimulate thoughtful transPacific
intellectual exchange".
June 13, 1975
Mr. J. Paul Austin,
Chairman of the Board,
The Coca-Cola Company,
Atlanta, Georgia 30301.
Dear Paul:
The Asia Society seems to have a good
reputation with the officers here at USLO.
In addition, I received the attached
official response to my query concerning
the Society. I am told that the Asia
Society has taken over the cultural work
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
formerly done by the US/China Committee.
There was some flap about the Asia Society
sometime ago having to do with the Univer-
sity of Hawaii, but I have not been able
to find out what that was about, and,
given the response from my inquiries here,
I think there must not have been much to it.
Now on my favorite subject: things
are going great. Barbara Bush is in charge
of the decorating committee - an awesome
responsibility. Her work has been made a
lot easier by the stuff you sent out here.
I'll get some pictures of the big day and
send them along to you. Many, many thanks.
Love to Jean.
Sincerely,
George Bush
Mr. Bush,
Re The Asia Society and Mr. Phillip Talbot, I received the following
message this afternoon:
YOU MAY ADVISE AMBASSADOR BUSH THAT THERE IS NO INFORMATION
AVAILABLE AT HQS. WHICH SHOWS ANY DEROGATORY REFERENCE TO MR.
quote
TALBOT, A FORMER U.S. AMBASSADOR TO GREECE, OR TO THE ASIA SOCIETY.
THE SOCIETY, FOUNDED IN 1956 BY MR. JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER, HAS BEEN
A RECENT RECIPIENT OF THE LATTER'S MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR ART COL-
LECTION. THE SOCIETY HAS 2200 MEMBERS AND A STAFF OF 60. ITS "AIM
IS TO DEEPEN AMERICAN UNDERSTANDING OF ASIA AND THOUGHTFUL
STIMULATE
TRANSPACIFIC INTELLECTUAL EXCHANGE".
CHris Ballou
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Jus
Tab
The Coca-Cola Company
S
ATLANTA, GEORGIA
ADDRESS REPLY TO
J. PAUL AUSTIN
P. P.O. O. DRAWER 1734
CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD
ATLANTA.GA.30301
(404) 897-2121
May 30, 1975
Ambassador George Bush
United States Liaison Office
Huang Hua Lu, 17, Peking
People's Republic of China
Dear George:
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
I am being asked on behalf of the Company
to make a contribution to The Asia Society.
The President is Phillip Talbot. In
strict confidence, do you know anything
about The Asia Society and/or Phillip
Talbot?
Best regards.
Sincerely,
Paul
JPA/ses
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H in
AUSTRALIA
8 YU 75.
Dear Mr. Bush, are 9-9 by hand
To my very great embarrassment and shame
I have been tols that I created an impression
of very bad sportsmanship by my behaviour
Suring the "great carper-bouling competition?
W hat upsets me is not the myury /
I may have done my own name but the
outrage / have offered to your hospitality
Which was so open and so generous
1 can see m retrospect that. what,
inadvisedly, 1 undered as gentle railtery has
been construed as intended reproaches - I
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
really do apologize for the discomfort my. bad.
Manners must have caused you all.
I have apologized 10 Jennifer in person
and sought to persuade her that working
1 said was said with any, the least, serimismes
I hope you will also believe me Sw,
when / ask your pardon and that of Mrs Bust
for all the offence I have, in wittingly yet
M-mannevedly, given - 1, un answer of my
wrongs, simply enjoyed the relaxed frandship
and generous welcome you extended to us all
that night
Sincerely abashed
Yours
66/1 -/mbrey
Mr. George Bush
Head, USLO.
X
AUSTRALIAN EMBASSY
PEKING
THE
GEORGE
WASHINGTON
UNIVERSITY
ans- file 8-4 hand
Washington, D.C. 20052 / Department of Political Science / (202) 676-6290
July 25, 1975
Dear Mr. Bush,
I was working through my files this morning and came
across some of the bumper stickers I had had printed
for distribution at what should have been our victory
celebration that evening in November, 1970. So as an
excuse to write--and because I still think the sticker
is a pretty good idea--I thought I'd forward it along.
I am now persuing a Ph.D. in political science at George
Washington. My course work is completed and the disser-
Photocopy from George Bush Presidential Library
tation stage is about to begin. The last two years I've
been a teaching fellow here. By the way, I really did
appreciate your willingness to meet with my classes
spring a year ago, although the funeral in Connecticut
forced cancellation of those plans.
This spring I began working as a consultant at the Rand
Corporation. I'll be looking for a university faculty
position for the fall of 1976 $ and although the market
is rather dismal I'm hoping that my luck in having had
several articles published will give me a chance to find
something attractive.
The realworld experience of having been east Texas field
representative in your campaign has proved to be an enormous
asset in studying political behavior with the academic
world's computers, survey research, and grand theorists.
I am also especially proud to have worked in that campaign
because of the respect you have continued to command.
While I trust you and Mrs. Bush find your current post
stimulating and interesting, frankly, I'd like to see you
back on this mainland. Maybe there's room to insert a small
prefix "Vice-" on those stickers.
With warm regards,
Bill adams
and
FOR PRESIDENT
BUSHIZ
2001