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Gridiron Dinner 3/23/91 [OA 6856]
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323153258
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Gridiron Dinner 3/23/91 [OA 6856]
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Records of the White House Office of Speechwriting (George H. W. Bush Administration)
Speech Backup Chronological Files
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Originally Processed With FOIA(s):
FOIA Number:
S
S
FOIA
MARKER
This is not a textual record. This is used as an
administrative marker by the George Bush Presidential
Library Staff.
Record Group/Collection:
George H.W. Bush Presidential Records
Collection/Office of Origin:
Speechwriting, White House Office of
Series:
Speech File Backup Files
Subseries:
Chron File, 1989-1993
OA/ID Number:
13750
Folder ID Number:
13750-005
Folder Title:
Gridiron Dinner 3/23/91 [OA 6856]
Stack:
Row:
Section:
Shelf:
Position:
G
26
21
3
3
FROM:API-PUBLIC RELATIONS
TO:
4562758
MAR 19, 1991 12:29PM P.02
gridiron Club Dinner
SCHEDULE
March 23, 1991
6:30
Dinner Bell
7:00
Music Lights in Out quartet
Speech in the the Air Dark - by" Budge Sperling, grideron president
7:15
Introduction, U. S. Marine Band
7:25
Fanfare
Opener SKIT
7:35
Remove Rabbit Galantine
Serve Crab & Cron Quiche
7:55
Fanfare Inauguration of sperling-handing - of gavel
Guest Skit -- Standups - introduction of special guests
Initiation of new members
8:15
Remove Crab & Corn Quiche
Serve Beef and Lamb
8:45
Democratic Fanfare Skit -- music dance etc
9:15
Robert Strauss Introduction
Strauss Response
9125
Remove Beef and Lamb
Serve Top Hats
9:45
Republican Fanfare Skit -music dance etc
10:15
James Baker Introduction
Baker Response
10:25
Fanfare Closer slirt -- "Civilwar"song.
10:35
Serve Coffee, Petits Fours,
Champagne
10:55
Toast to the President Bush
Response,4 Auld Lang Syne
Bresident by the
MAR 19 '91 16:58 CAPITAL HILTON SALES DC 737 5742
P.2
EVENT n 1639 RR
DO NOT POST!
THE GRIDIRON CLUB
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
WHITE HOUSE STAFF DINNER
CONTINENTAL ROOM
APPROXIMATELY 18 GUESTS
7:30 PM
MR. KEVIN DEVERICH, IN CHARGE
VIP - SOIGNE
BILL TO:
BUSINESS PROMOTIONS AT $34 PP
cc:
Mr. K. Deverich
General Manager
MENU
LOBSTER BISQUE
SPINACH SALAD
Warm Italian Dressing
BROILED FILET MIGNON
VEGETABLES DU JOUR
THREE CHOCOLATE TERRINE
Sauce Anglaise
COFFEE
EXTRA ITEMS AND ARRANGEMENTS
BEVERAGES:
Offer guests their choice of red or white wine.
GRATUITY:
Added to the account.
D.C. SALES TAX:
Added to the account.
CONTROL:
By invitation only.
DECORATIONS:
Provide the appropriate colored linen.
ARRANGEMENTS:
At the conclusion of the VIP reception provide 2 5ft.
rounds for dining.
BILLING:
Business Promotions.
Terry Brady, Director of Catering
Direct Line: (202) 639 - 5717
TB/vmq - 3/8/91
LC110213/GC - WhiteH
m
THE CAPITAL HILTON HOTEL
1001 16th Street NW
Washington, DC 20036
FAX: (202) 639 - 5742
TWX: 710/822 - 9068
1
26
"Budge"
quarancent president Club
GODFREY SPERLING, JR., born in Long Beach, California, in
1915, but grew up in the Midwest (Urbana, Illinois).
B.S. in Journalism, University of Illinois, 1937; L.L.B. (J.D.)
Law, University of Oklahoma, 1940.
Joined Monitor after five years of service as an officer
in the U.S. Air Force (rose to Major) during World War II;
retired as Colonel in Reserves in 1975.
Joined Christian Science Monitor in 1946. For 11 years
Monitor's Washington Bureau Chief, up to 1984. Now Monitor's
X
senior Washington columnist. Founder and host of Sperling
Breakfast Group. President Reagan honored Sperling on the
17th anniversary of the breakfast, and continued to do so on
the 18th, 19th and 20th anniversary. In the past both
Presidents Ford and Carter also had the group into the White
House for breakfasts.
Wife: Betty. Daughter: Mary McAuliffe, an historian at CIA;
son-in-law: Jack McAuliffe, Director of Marketing at Kennedy
Center for Performing Arts; Granddaughter: Mavyn McAuliffe, 18,
and headed for MIT. Son: John in real estate in Las Vegas.
wife
Bethy
(Budge)
LEFT SIDE
Mr. Godfrey Sperling, Jr.
President of the
BF
Gridiron Club
The President of the United States
Harvey
Mr. ^^ Wood
Mrs. Foley
Robert
Mr. Strauss
Patricia
Mrs. Wood
Justice Souter
Mr. Sununu
Mrs. Baker
The Secretary of the Treasury
Mr. Darman
General Scowcroft
Mr. Ron Brown
The Attorney General
Representative Michel
General Vuono
The Secretary of Commerce
and
The Secretary of Health X Human Services
The Secretary of Education
The Secretary of the Air Force
RIGHT SIDE
The Vice President of the United States
Mrs. Sperling
Mrs. Bush
The Speaker of the House of Representatives
Mrs. Quayle
d
>
e
The Scretary of State
Helen
Mrs. Strauss
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Justice Kennedy
The Secretary of Defense
The Secretary of the Interior
The Secretary of Labor
Mr. Yeutter
The Secretary of Transportation
The Secretary of Veterans Affairs
General Gray
The U.S. Trade Representative
Mr. Fitzwater while Hours
Burce
Mr. Osborne
A
Dallas news
THE CAPITAL HILTON
Meeting Facilities and Services
1:
N
S
PAN-AMERICAN
ROOM
W
AUTO LIFT
KITCHEN
SALES, CATERING
Club MK, 12-2
AND CONVENTION
Pres Recep 5 30 6.45
Bilton Skift
Dinner.
SERVICES OFFICES
11pin.2am
MASSACHUSETTS
ELEVATOR
ROOM
Scripps Henered
SERVICE LOBBY
5 30 4.45 30 4.45
t
&
SERVK F
LIEVATOR
SERVICE
CLOSETS
PASSENGER
NEW YORK
ELEVATOR
ROOM
LADIES REST ROOM
PRESIDENTIAL BALLROOM
PASSENGE
FLEVATOR
MIN'S
MICHIGAN
ROOM
CONVENTION
ROOM
Dinner 645 11.3c
REGISTRATION
STORAGE
Storase
Hanne Bend
General
OHIO ROOM
Rebeshments Rc ments
Reception
SecretSew.
1pm
setspin
CONGRESSIONAL ROOM
SENATE ROOM
5 30-4:45
FEDERAL
ROOM
UPPER
L STREET
Cast Dinner 8:15pm
LOBBY
CALIFORNIA
ROOM
Hearst Newspaper
Uniformed
K STREET
Reception 10pm-20pm
CHECK ROOM
SOUTH AMERICAN
CAPITAL TERRACE
ROOM-A
FOYER NO. 1
LOWER LOBBY
FOYER NO. 2
SOUTH AMERICAN
ROOM-B
CONTINENTAL
ROOM
IXMN
DOWN
Guest of Hener feap 530
SIXTEENTH STREET
While the Sill Duma 130pm
Suru 1956 56 30 Knight Rolder
Smill 1274 10pm 3 30c'm Delioit News I Gannert
SENT, BY:Xerox Telecopier 7020 ; 3-19-91 ; 2:17PM ;
2023951155-
4562758;# 2
TAB A
CAPITAL HILTON HOTEL
Gridiron Club Dinner
Arrival/Departure Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
WAT STREET is This
Motorcade
Limo
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
GUESTS & STAFF
SENT BY :Xerox Telecopier 7020 ; 3-19-91 ; 2:18PM ;
2023951155-
4562758;# 3
TAB
THE CAPITAL HILTON
Gridiron Club Dinner
Presidential Ballroom Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
Announce
L Street
Position
Head Table
Continental
Room
Presidential
2nd Floor
Bailroom
2nd Floor
Holding
Room
16th Street
XX
XX
K Street
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
GUESTS & STAFF
X GREETER
SENT BY:Xerox Telecopier 7020 ; 3-19-91 ; 2:18PM ;
2023951155-
4562758;# 4
TAB C
CAPITAL HILTON HOTEL
Gridiron Club Dinner
Head Table Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
Mr. Osborne, Dallas News
Marlin Fitzwater
Amb. Hills
Gen Gray, USMC
Sec. Derwinski
Sec. Skinner
Mr. Clayton Yeutter
Sec. Martin
Sec. Lujan
Sec. Cheney
Justice Kennedy
Chairman Powell
Mrs. Helen Strauss
Sec. Baker
Mrs. Quayle
Speaker Foley
Mrs. Bush
Mrs. Sperling
The Vice President
Podium
Audience
Mr. Budge Sperling
THE PRESIDENT
Mr. Harvey Wood
Mrs. Foley
Mr. Robert Strauss
Mrs. Patricia Wood
Justice Souter
Gov. Sununu
Mrs. Baker
Sec. Brady
Mr. Darman
Gen. Scowcroft
Mr. Ron Brown
Attorney Gen. Thornburgh
Rep. Michel
General Vuono
Sec. Mosbacher
Sec. Sullivan
Sec. Alexander
Sec. Rice
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
THE 1990 GRIDIRON CLUB DINNER
The Capitol Hilton
625 Guests
5:30 p.m.: The drinks start rolling
6:45ish: POTUS arrives
7:00: Dinner
THE PROGRAM FOR THE EVENING
7:00
The festivities begin with the traditional Speech
In The Dark by the Club's new president, David
Broder of the Washington Post
USMC band enters, plays, exits
Opening musical number
Recognitions
Install the new president
Introduce new members
Acknowledge some members of the audience
Democratic skit
(20-30 minutes of
nd dance)
Ana Richards
Democratic response by Tom Foley
Republican skit
(also 20-30 minutes of song and dance)
Lamar
Republican response by Dick Cheney
Closing musical number
Toast to the President
Presidential response
Auld Lang Syne
(the fat lady sings
)
CONTACT: Penny Dixon
783-7787
NOTE: The headtable members and seating arrangements are not yet
finalized. I'm told they should be done by March 23rd.
BRAINSTORM MATERIAL:
Panama
Noriega
VOO doo
red underwear
Dave Barry calling Media Relations to determine the color
of POTUS' underwear
the real name of the Panama invasion:
"Operation Just BEcause"
Noriega's prison ID number/Florida lottery numbers (12,000 people
played it)
Rock music played loudly
"Al Portador" must quite the wealthy fellow these days. It turns
out that General Noriega was making out checks for millions and
millions of dollars to this guy
But, "Al Portador" means
"To The Bearer" in Spanish!
HUD work
Mayor Barry
the Vista Hotel
Colombia
the extreme security measures
sleeping on the plane
When Marlin said last month that I can sleep right through
takeoff, he was NOT referring to my first 100 days!
the San Francisco earthquake
Hurricane Hugo
the Huntington Beach oil spill
Savings and Loans
Keating
global climate change
IPCC speech
Sununu
trees
clean air
Mike Tyson
Buster Douglas
the Superbowl/ the 49'ers/ the Broncos
China
secret missions
Scowcroft/Eagleburger
drug caterpillars
the baseball strike
the Berlin Wall
So much for the Wall, here at home, White House staffers are
said to have been stealing sandstone chunks of the White
House as it undergoes construction.
the East German put-put freedom cars
Soviets trying to make a convertible Ruble
the new McDonalds in Moscow
Lithuania is revolting
What scares me about a unified Germany?
they' 11 beat the PANTS
off us in the Olympics!
Yes/No coffee cups at New York area 7-11 stores
They have been used to "poll" customers on such issues
as Congressional pay raises (they ran out of NO cups)
and "Trump for President"
the Malta summit
stormy seas
seasick patches behind the ears
the "hotdogging" President
Deborah Norville/ Jane Pauley
Will the Bushes rename Camp David
"Camp Marvin" ???
the Trump divorce
Marla Maples
Donna Rice
Jessica Hahn
Marla Maples
Tom Clancy
The Hunt for Red October
Rap music
Art Buchwald beats Eddie Murphy in "Coming to America" suit
West Point M.A./Kristin Baker (first female cadet commander)
women in combat
Latest pet craze -- Vietnamese potbellied pigs
African Superfrogs banned from Angels Camp Frog Jumping Contest
New NCAA regs
AMA study -- liquor is quicker for women
Barbara Bush gave Inaugural gown to Smithsonian
Jesse Helms/art
Drexel Burnham Lambert/Michael/junk bonds
the Rafsanjani phone call
Pete Rose
the first Miss USSR pageant
Soviet women in Playboy
Malcolm Forbes passed away
Dan Quayle's South American doll
Municipal employees in Yorba Linda, CA get a holiday on Richard
Nixon's birthday
I sure pity the guy who was planning his American summer
vacation. He wanted to tour the country by Greyhound
and catch baseball games across the nation.
POP CULTURE
cordless phones
answering machines
car phones
fax machines
TV remote controls
compact discs
cable TV
Automatic Teller Machines
Batman paraphenelia
the Mazda Miata
Post-It Notes
personal computers
Video -- Reagan's, Totally Hidden, America's Funniest,
cholesterol
oat bran
sugar substitutes, fat substitutes
bottled water
the Perrier scare
Ben & Jerry's ice cream
liquid diets
Marlin: -55 lbs; Gorbachev commented on it at Malta
Foley:
trying to lose 45 and is well on his way;
too bad his bike was stolen at the Y
Rostenkowski: grape fruit diet
Atwater: Slimfast shakes and honey chicken wings
TELEVISION
Pat Sajak
Alex Trebek
Dick Clark
Arsenio Hall
Johnny Carson
Vanna White
David Letterman
"The Top 10 Reasons Why
"
America's Funniest Home Videos
Wheel of Fortune
Jeopardy
Roseanne
Cosby
thirtysomething
The Wonder Years
Cheers
(Sam and Diane
Donaldson and Sawyer?)
Return of the Brady Bunch
(Nicholas Brady?)
LA Law
Unsolved Mysteries
The Capitol Gang
The McLaughlin Group
A Current Affair
The Simpsons
Bart
the TV commercial for the Nissan Infiniti luxury sedan
the viewers never saw the car, only serene rocks, water,
clouds, etc.
Domino's Pizza: Avoid the Noid
Joe Isuzu
American Express: Don't Leave Home Without It
Tip O'Neill appearing out of a suitcase
MOVIES
The Hunt for Red October
Henry V
Look Who's Talking
She Devil
Parenthood
Dead Poets Society
Glory
War of the Roses
Do The Right Thing
Lethal Weapon I and II
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The 3 Fugitives
The Naked Gun
The Fabulous Baker Boys
(Jim Baker and Co?)
My Stepmother Is An Alien
Steel Magnolias
Back to the Future
When Harry Met Sally
Driving Miss Daisy
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Sea of Love
Batman
Three Men and a Baby
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
Nuns on the Run
--You know, traveling on Air Force One with
really
proves the postulate that he who snores the loudest will fall
asleep first!
--On a golf outing, the President replaced General
Scowcroft's golf ball with an exploding chalk ball.
the House gym, it has been written, is so often used for
dates that members refer to it as "Sauna and Gomorrah"
-Nude Beaches and Recreation listed the Senate pool as the
only place in Washington where nude swimming is allowed.
--(( In reference to recent CA trip: ))
"LA is my favorite museum."
(David Bowie)
--At a second hand garage sale:
Jim and Betty Wright's dinette set, going for $300. It is a
Spanish style ensemble and the wood is painted "fiesta orange".
The shop claims it is not "any piece of junk, but a piece of
history!"
--A mock ad in March's Washingtonian magazine touts the
first "CONGRESSIONAL FANTASY CAMP"
the political version
of baseball "fantasy camps" If for overaged athletes.
These campers, says the spoof, get to work with
Senators Kennedy, Dole, Mikulski, and "all the other greats you
have followed in the papers and watched on the evening news!"
Also promised:
limited franking privileges
token honoraria
live C-Span coverage
a 500-word "extension of remarks in Congressional Rec.
Foby speaks first
LANGE --ML-
Cheney later
BACKGROUND ON GRIDIRON:
783-7787 Penny Dixon
BACKGROUND:
The Gridiron Club has been an exclusive club since 1885.
This year's event marks its 105th annual dinner.
It exists solely for the purpose to host this dinner where
politicians are roasted. It is a drinking and dining
society.
It started as a group of newspapermen who sought brotherhood in
part because the earlier scandal-plagued Grant
administration thought they were a bunch of by-line
hunting hounds.
THE EVENT:
Each year the event begins with a speech given in the dark.
It ends with auld lang syne.
In recent years, Presidents and First Ladies have given
surprise performances.
--Nixon was the first POTUS to entertain the Club,
when he and Agnew performed a piano duet.
--Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter jitterbugged together.
(The first COUPLE to perform)
Nancy Reagan dressed up as a baglady and sang her
own rendition of "Second Hand Rose"
it was
called "Second Hand Clothes". Then she dropped
a (fake) plate of White House china on the floor.
Barbara Bush appeared with a long, dark brown wig
and it was quite some time before people
recognized her!
Approx. 625 guests
Capitol Hilton 5:30 - reception begins
6:45-ish POTUS
7:00 + dinner
Head Table members & seating arrangements are not yet
finalized. They expect to be done by the 23rd - -
print day
LAUGHTER
NOTE: We will undoubtedly have to do something squishy about
laughter and world harmony. We could put in a line about the
"L" word
Laughter, the very best "L" word of all
**Henry Luce wrote in his prospectus for LIFE magazine:
"TO SEE LIFE;
TO SEE THE WORLD;
TO EYEWITNESS GREAT EVENTS
"
Alan Loy McGinnis once said:
"Each of us is the accumulation of our memories. "
( ("Each of is the accumulation of our memories. So, as we
leave here tonight, let us remember our laughter and the good
times
and let's also be sure to remember
the
breathtaking changes in the world. As Tom Wolfe once said,
"It boggles the mind, baby!"
James Stephens once said:
"If a person desires to be a humorist, it is necessary that
the people around him shall be at least as wise as he is,
otherwise his humor will not be comprehended."
--H.L. Mencken (GOD of the press) once said:
"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in
their own toothaches.
But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he
could see the toothache in his own humor!"
-James Thurber once said:
"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of
our greatest and earliest national resources which must be
preserved at all costs."
Elsa Maxwell quoted her father's words from the deathbed:
"Laugh at yourself before anyone else can."
--H. L. Mencken once said:
"I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to
refuse a drink after dark. "
Norman Cousins said:
"Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your
organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an ingniter
of great expectation."
-Abraham Lincoln: "With the fearful strain that is on me night
and day, if I did not laugh, I should die."
Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from
becoming cranks.
Here are some jokes from the Humor file as well as last year's
Gridiron that have not yet been used:
but what hurts the most is the people who say I don't
have a vision. In fact, I had one just last night. I could feel
a "new breeze blowing"
so I got out of bed, started walking
down the hall, tripped over Millie, hit my head, and saw
"a thousand points of light".
On the way here, I stopped to chat with a street person
who was holding a sign saying "Help the Downtrodden and the
Destitute". It's not that often that I get to talk to a Drexel
Burnham Lambert executive.
The National Enquirer has applied for press credentials.
I want to welcome their new correspondent. Elvis, where are you
sitting?
-- ( (Lee Atwater?) )
really knows how to recruit. He's gone
to bars all across America telling everybody that I was calling
for a thousand PINTS OF LITE!
SOME RANDOM PIECES OF THOUGHT TO BRAINSTORM:
Panama
Noriega
voo doo
red underwear
( (Dave Barry called Media Relations to determine the color
of POTUS' underwear) )
the real name of "Operation: Just Cause"
"Operation: Just BEcause"
"Al Portador" must be quite the wealthy fellow! It turns out
that General Noriega was making out millions of dollars in checks
to this guy but "Al Portador" means "To The Bearer" in Spanish!
Mayor Barry
the Vista Hotel
fried egg commercials
Colombia
When Marlin said last month that I can sleep right through take-
off, he was NOT referring to my first 100 days.
San Francisco earthquake
Hurricane Hugo
Huntington Beach oil spill
Savings and Loans
Keating
global climate change
trees
clean air
Tyson
Douglas
49ers
Broncos
China
secret missions
drug caterpillars
baseball Strike
the Berlin Wall
Here at home, White House staffers are said to have been
stealing sandstone chunks of the White House as it undergoes
repairs and construction
East German put-put cars
new McDonald's in Moscow
they'll beat the pants off us in the Olympics
Yes/No coffee cup polls at 7-11's in the New York area.
They have been used to "poll" customers on what they
thought of Congressional pay raises (they ran out of
"NO" cups) and "Trump for President"
Malta
stormy seas
seasick patches behind the ears
the "hotdogging" President
Norville/Pauley/Zahn
"Who WAS that on my TV this morning? I thought I was going
crazy switching channels they all look the same! and are
there 2 of those Gumbel boys?!?!"
Will the Bushes rename Camp David
"Camp Marvin"??? Enquiring minds want to know
Power couples:
from Doles to Cheneys?
The Trump Divorce
Marla Maples
Tom Clancy
West Point: Kristin Baker
first female cadet commander
Jesse Helms/art
Drexel Burnham Lambert/Michael Milken/junk bonds
Rafsayani phone call
Pete Rose
the first Miss USSR pageant
Malcolm Forbes passed away
--So, Dan, are you going to show us one of the South American
dolls that you bought in Valparaiso?
"A Chorus Line" is over, after 15 years, 500 pairs of shoes, 22
countries, and an audience of 6.5 million
Municipal employees in Yorba Linda, CA get a holiday on Richard
Nixon's birthday
At the Ambassador's Ball, John Sununu bid on a Tiffany's
necklace
but signed the wrong auction sheet. He ended up with
3 carved Ecuadorean birds.
Who the hell is the Reverend John Mayo?
(Clue: he hailed from Barnstable, MA and died in 1676)
Because of the Reverend, Bush and Quayle are tenth cousins,
once removed!!
The President and the First Lady are also tenth cousins,
once removed.
Also in the Presidential/Vice Presidential family tree are:
Lincoln, Ford, Taft, FDR, Pierce, Hayes, Queen Elizabeth,
and Humphrey Bogart
- - I sure pity the guy who was planning to visit America
this summer. Hes planning to tour the country by
greyhound & catch baseball games across the nation.
POP CULTURE:
Epilady hair removers
cordless phones
answering machines
car phones
fax machines
TV remote controls
compact disks
cable TV
Automatic Teller Machines
Batman paraphenelia
the Mazda Miata
Post-It Notes
Rockin' Flowers
cholesterol
oat bran
bottled water
Ben & Jerry's ice cream
liquid diets
(see article on Marlin, Foley, Atwater, etc.)
Marlin => -551bs
Gorb e Nata
Folmy - on way +245?
Rostenkowski - shape from
atwater - scrunfast at click wings
TV:
Pat Sajak
Alex Trebek
Dick Clark
Arsenio Hall
Johnny Carson
Vanna White
David Letterman
("The Top 10 Reasons Why
")
Wheel of Fortune
Jeopardy
Roseanne
Cosby
thirtysomething
The Wonder Years
Cheers
(Sam and Diane
Donaldson and Sawyer?)
Return of the Brady Bunch
(Nicholas Brady?)
Murphy Brown
LA Law
Unsolved Mysteries/Robert Stack
Totally Hidden Video
The Capital Gang
The McLaughlin Group
Current Affair
The Simpsons
the TV commercial for the Nissan Infiniti
luxury sedan
in which the viewers never
saw the car, only serene rocks, water, trees
Domino's Pizza: Avoid The Noid
American Express: Don't Leave Home Without It
Joe Isuzu
Tip O'Neill appearing out of a suitcase
MOVIES:
The Hunt for Red October
Henry V
She Devil
Look Who's Talking
Parenthood
Dead Poets Society
Glory
War of the Roses
Do The Right Thing
Lethal Weapon I and II
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
The 3 Fugitives
The Naked Gun
The Fabulous Baker Boys
(Jim Baker and Co.?)
My Stepmother Is An Alien
Steel Magnolias
Back to the Future
When Harry Met Sally
Driving Miss Daisy
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Sea of Love
Batman
Three Men and a Baby
Sex, Lies, and Videotape
The
new
fad
will it be seen in campaigns to come?
The 800 telephone hotline. Phil Gramm has one. So does
Jose Canseco, and Steve Gobie
-- ( (For Marlin, or another bald man...))
The nice thing about baldness must be that before a press
conference, he has only to straighten his tie!
--Before I begin, I 'd like to tell the name of that first
course, in case they ask you at the hospital
--I know, I know
you all thought the kiss Bar threw me as
I stood to speak was a mark of affection. But it's really a
K-I-S-S
short for: "Keep It Short, Stupid"!
-- ( (This would be great if modified with the name of an old
member of Congress, for example. The two ladies could in his
waiting area ) )
:
One night after a performance, the manager of a New York
theatre told Ethel Barrymore that 2 ladies wanted to see her.
"They went to school with you," he explained.
"They went to school with me?" asked Miss Barrymore. "Well,
then, WHEEL THEM IN!!"
Thank you. Thank you for these fine skits and fantastic
humor
and a full audience. I'm relieved that there are no
photographers here! I remember the sign at my last speech
"DO NO PHOTOGRAPH THE SPEAKERS AS THEY ADDRESS THE AUDIENCE.
SHOOT THEM AS THEY APPROACH THE PODIUM."
--We all get a little anxious as we make last minute
preparations
Barbara just told me that she entered a room at this hotel
this evening and recognized a well-known government official
pacing up and down. She asked what he was doing there.
He said, "I'm going to deliver some jokes shortly."
Bar asked, "Do you always get so nervous before addressing a
large audience?"
"NERVOUS?" he exclaimed indignantly. "No, I never get
nervous!"
"IN THAT CASE," Barbara retorted, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE
LADIES ROOM???"
-Thank you for your warm welcome! In accepting your invitation,
I was reminded of what the Tower of London said to the the Tower
of Pisa
"If you have the inclination, I've got the time!"
You know, travel on Air Force One with
really proves
correct that postulate that he who snores the loudest will fall
asleep first.
(Admiral Watkins, General Powell, General Scowcroft
or we could go completely civilian with this
)
I am reminded of the time in World War II when Admiral
Nimitz and General MacArthur found themselves fishing together
off the coast of the Philippines. In a sudden squall the boat
capsized, and the eminent fighting men were floundering
helplessly in the water.
The Admiral was the first to reach the boat. With the aid
of an oar, he finally got the General on board.
"Now, Mac," he cautioned, "don't mention a word of this to
anyone! You see, I'd be disgraced if the men of the Navy learned
that I can't swim!"
"Don't worry, MacArthur replied. "Your secret is safe with
me. I'D HATE TO HAVE MY MEN FIND OUT THAT I CAN'T
WALK ON WATER!!"
--On a golf outing, the President replaced General
Scowcroft's golf ball with an exploding chalk ball.
--the House gym, it has been written, is so often used for
dates that members refer to it as "Sauna and Gomorrah"
Nude Beaches and Recreation listed the Senate pool as the
only place in Washington where nude swimming is allowed.
--Lee Atwater's new blues album will be entitled "Red, Hot,
and Blue" and some titles include: "Rescue Me"
"Knock on Wood"
"People, Get Ready"
--In a story of his recent trip to California:
"LA is my favority museum." (David Bowie)
--At a second-hand garage sale: Jim and Betty Wright's
dinette set, going for $300. It is a Spanish style ensemble and
is wood painted "Fiesta Orange". The shop claims it not be "any
piece of junk", but a "piece of history"
-The last decade has brought increased an increased
awareness of drugs and the drug culture. It has spawned a new
"DrugSpeak". For example:
news junkie
political junkie
support group junkie
junk food junkie
TV junkie
antique junkie
Gannett reported that "Bob Dole married a woman just like
him
a career-oriented political junkie."
William Safire has called himself "a political junkie".
The Washington Post described journalist I.F. Stone as a
"news junkie"; then, when he died, they called him a "political
junkie".
--A mock ad in March's Washingtonian magazine touts the
first "Congressional Fantasy Camp" -- the political version of
baseball "fantasy camps" for overaged athletes.
These campers, says the spoof, get to work with Senators
Ted Kennedy, Bob Dole, Barbara Mikulski, "and all the other
greats you have followed in the newspapers and watched on the
evening news
Also offered: Limited franking privileges
Token honoraria
Live C-Span coverage
a 500-word "extension of remarks in the
Congressional Record"
-Wrought Irony:
Two flags == one of the USA and the other of the USSR --
were displayed at a San Diego Press Conference ballyhooing an
engagement of the Moscow Circus.
The tag on the Soviet flag said "Made in the USA".
The tag on the US flag said "Made in Hong Kong".
(Reader's Digest/Mar 90/p.28 Tom Blair in the SD Union)
MARLIN JOKES:
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON
Marlin tries to be classy. Ever since that trip to Paris, I
notice that when he pulls the tab off his beer cans, he sniffs
them.
Marlin is always expensively garbed. You should see some of the
expensive garbage he wears.
Marlin tried the drinking man's diet. Now he has two problems.
He just doesn't take the time to think. A reporter asked him,
"If the President of the United States died, who'd get the job?"
He said, "A Republican undertaker."
They say weighlifting builds up the chest and shoulder muscles,
swimming builds up the arms, running builds up the legs
Marlin, do you do a lot of horseback riding?
Barbara was showing the kids the old family album, and George Jr.
pointed at a picture and asked, "Who's that good looking guy with
the handsome face and the big muscles?" Barbara smiled and said,
"That's your father, dear." He looked at me and said, "Then, who
is he?"
At Tom Foley's last physical, the doctor said, "This is a
personal question, but in the middle years it's important to
know. Do you and your wife have any trouble with mutual
satisfaction?" He said, "No sale doc, we're staying with
Prudential."
George Mitchell one of the guys: "My doctor says I can't play
tennis anymore." And the guy says, "Oh, he's played with you,
too?"
Marlin wants a convertible, but he won't get one until he can
find a toupee with a flesh-colored chin strap.
What do you get when you put 32 Iraqi women in a room?
A full set of teeth.
After seeing the brutal film of the LAPD this week,
I think we all owe Zsa Zsa an apology.
Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the Iraqi Air Force.
Saddam's advisors get him in the corner -- whole world is allied
against you; you can't go on this way. I'm not that bad; there
was Hitler etc. No you are the worst. Asked the magic mirror:
Mirror Mirror answer this rhyme; who is worst slime of all time
Who is this Marion Barry?
Grant/Dooley
March 18, 1991
12 noon
A:GRIDIRON
PRESIDENTIAL REMARKS: GRIDIRON DINNER
I held up pretty well through the "100 Day War,"
but I wasn't sure I'd make it through this 100 Hour Dinner.
I hear they want to call it the "Mother of All Bores. "
And after watching tonight's entertainment, I'll say one thing:
If I had a white flag, I'd wave it.
In anticipation of seeing so many reporters here tonight,
The other day I asked Marlin for a list of the press corps,
Broken down by sex.
He said, "Actually, sir, booze is more of a problem."
Wasn't (name of reporter) just great tonight?
You know, he worked for many years as an itinerant musician.
Then one day tragedy struck. The monkey died.
Later, he took up piano -- because his beer glass kept sliding
off the violin.
One thing's for sure:
This is one speech where I don't have to tell people
to guard against euphoria.
It's a pleasure to be here tonight.
Always good to see Bernie Shaw sitting at the table,
instead of under it.
I know many of you have been roughing it lately.
But Arthur Kent says it wasn't so bad
staying at the Sheraton Riyadh.
In fact, he said the towels were so fluffy,
he could barely get his suitcase shut.
I understand security is tight tonight,
so I told the Secret Service I appreciated their precautions.
They said it had nothing to do with me.
With this crowd, the hotel's worried about the silverware.
At times, I did think the war was a little too pervasive on TV.
My grandkids were watching cartoons one Saturday
when Wolf Blitzer broke in.
He had a special report on the arsenal of weapons
that the coyote was using against the road runner.
Neggy Dooley, WH
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 1
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Sir Antony Acland, Ambassador of Great Britain
Rennert
AUCTION
Gordon Adams, Washington, D. C.
Adams, R.
GUEST
Robert E. Adams, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Adams, R.
MEMBER
William E. Ahearn, Associated Press
Mears
GUEST
Sheik Saud Nasir Al-Sabah, Ambassador of Kuwait
Geyer
AUCTION
Madeleine Albright, Washington, D. C.
Lewine
GUEST
The Secretary of Education, Designate
Rowan
AUCTION
Joe Allbritton, Washington, D. C.
Reed
GUEST
Robert W. Alvord, Washington, D. C.
Club
VIP
Jim Amoss, New Orleans Times-Picayune
Poe
GUEST
Harold W. Andersen, Omaha World-Herald
Olofson
GUEST
Jacques Andreani, Ambassador of France
Lewis, C.
AUCTION
Dwayne O. Andreas, Decatur, Illinois
Reed
GUEST
George P. Anthan, Des Moines Register
Anthan
MEMBER
Garner Anthony, Honolulu, Hawaii
Thompson, G.
GUEST
R. W. Apple, Jr., New York Times
Apple
MEMBER
Peter Arnett, Jerusalem
Novak
GUEST
Arthur W. Arundel, The Plains, Virginia
Reed
GUEST
Cheryl Arvidson, Dallas Times Herald
Arvidson
MEMBER
John Ashcroft, Governor of Missouri
Novak
AUCTION
Les Aspin, Representative from Wisconsin
Weaver
GUEST
Norman R. Augustine, Potomac, Maryland
Phillips
GUEST
Raymond Avansino, Reno, Nevada
Deverich
GUEST
Charles W. Bailey, II, Washington, D. C.
Bailey
MEMBER
Richard Bain, Orlando, Florida
Bourgeois
GUEST
Mrs. Baker
Club
VIP
The Secretary of State
Club
VIP
William M. Baker, Washington, D. C.
Ostrow
GUEST
Prince Bandar Bin Sultan, Ambassador of Saudi
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
Arabia
Leland A. Bandy, Knight-Ridder Newspapers
Bandy
MEMBER
Mark Barabak, Copley News Service
Lewis, F.
GUEST
Fred Barbash, Washington Post
Broder
GUEST
James David Barber, Durham, North Carolina
Raspberry
GUEST
David L. Barnett, Alexandria, Virginia
Barnett
MEMBER
Jane Barnett-Hanson, New York
Barnett
GUEST
Peter Barr, Orlando, Florida
Groer
GUEST
Stephen Barr, Washington Post
McGrory
GUEST
Charles L. Bartlett, Washington, D. C.
Bartlett
MEMBER
Robert Bartley, Wall Street Journal
Otten
GUEST
James K. Batten, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Grady
GUEST
B. Evan Bayh, III, Governor of Indiana
McDaniel
AUCTION
William L. Beale, Jr., Washington, D.C.
Beale
MEMBER
Robert Beatty, Detroit, Michigan
Rowan
GUEST
Richard Beckler, Washington, D. C.
Arvidson
GUEST
David Beckwith, Washington, D. C.
Novak
AUCTION
Frank A. Bennack, Jr., Hearst Corp.
Lewis, C.
GUEST
Luella Bennack, New York
Lewis, C.
GUEST
Freda Sperling Benson, San Francisco, California
Club
VIP
Jackson Jerald Benson, LaMesa, California
Club
VIP
Lloyd Bentsen, Senator from Texas
Leubsdorf
AUCTION
Simon Michael Bessie, New York
Bailey
GUEST
James M. Biggar, Solon, Ohio
Brazaitis
GUEST
Cathleen Black, USA Today
Ryan, R.
GUEST
Robert P. Black, Richmond, Virginia
Silverman
GUEST
William F. Black, Washington, D. C.
Deverich
GUEST
Herbert L. Block, Washington Post
Block
MEMBER
John Robinson Block, Blade Communications
Powell
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 2
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Stanton J. Bluestone, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Novak
GUEST
Herbert C. Blunck, Washington, D. C.
Deverich
MEMBER
Louis D. Boccardi, Associated Press
Mears
GUEST
Roy E. Bode, Dallas Times Herald
Arvidson
GUEST
Richard N. Bond, Shelter Island, New York
Page
GUEST
Charles Borst, Knight-Ridder Newspapers
Bandy
GUEST
Michael J. Boskin, Washington, D. C.
Lewis, C.
AUCTION
Col. John R. Bourgeois, USMC
Bourgeois
MEMBER
Donald C. Bowersock, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Gerald Boyd, New York Times
Weaver
GUEST
Robert S. Boyd, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
MEMBER
The Secretary of the Treasury
Cooper
AUCTION
Thomas J. Brazaitis, Cleveland Plain Dealer
Brazaitis
MEMBER
Adm. Carl A. Brettschneider, USN
Duvall
GUEST
David S. Broder, Washington Post
Broder
MEMBER
Warren Brookes, Detroit News
Ryan, R.
GUEST
William W. Broom, Villanova, Pennsylvania
Broom
MEMBER
Ann Brown, Washington, D. C.
Rowan
GUEST
Donald A. Brown, Washington, D. C.
Rowan
GUEST
Ronald Brown, Washington, D. C.
Cohen
AUCTION
Evangeline Bruce, Washington, D. C.
Geyelin
GUEST
J. Stewart Bryan, III, Media General
Hall
GUEST
Zbigniew Brzezinski, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Jennie Buckner, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
William R. Burleigh, Scripps Howard
Thomasson
GUEST
Derek Burney, Ambassador of Canada
Emory
AUCTION
Ken Burns, Walpole, New Hampshire
McDowell
AUCTION
Horace W. Busby, Washington, D. C.
Mayer
GUEST
Mrs. Bush
Club
VIP
The President of the United States
Club
VIP
Harry F. Byrd, Jr., Winchester, Virginia
McDowell-Poe
AUCTION
John Calloway, Chicago, Illinois
Neikirk
GUEST
Carroll A. Campbell, Jr., Governor of South
Bandy
AUCTION
Carolina
Don Campbell, Washington, D. C.
Ringle
GUEST
Richard G. Capen, Jr., Knight-Ridder
Boyd
GUEST
Milt Capps, United Press International
Wiessler
GUEST
Capt. Dennis E. Carroll, USMC
Foley
GUEST
John S. Carroll, Baltimore Sun and Evening Sun
Furgurson
GUEST
Chris Casteel, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
GUEST
Michael N. Castle, Governor of Deleware
Novak
AUCTION
Richard Cattani, Christian Science Monitor
Sperling
GUEST
Henry E. Catto, Ambassador to Great Britain
Rowan
GUEST
Olga M. Chaffee, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Ward G. Chamberlin, Washington, D. C.
Emory
GUEST
John Chancellor, New York
Mears
AUCTION
Lynn V. Cheney, Washington, D. C.
Means
AUCTION
The Secretary of Defense
Apple
AUCTION
William P. Cheshire, Arizona Republic
Cole
GUEST
Lawton Chiles, Governor of Florida
Hunt
AUCTION
Pat Choate, Washington, D. C.
Cromley
AUCTION
Clark Clifford, Washington, D.C.
Furgurson
AUCTION
Eleanor Clift, Washington, D. C.
Jaques
GUEST
Bill Clinton, Governor of Arkansas
Broder
AUCTION
William Coblentz, McClatchy Newspapers
Rennert
GUEST
Raymond R. Coffey, Chicago Sun-Times
Coffey
MEMBER
Shelby Coffey, Los Angeles Times
Ostrow
GUEST
Ronald E. Cohen, Gannett Co., Inc.
Cohen
MEMBER
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 3
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Benjamin R. Cole, Arlington, Virginia
Cole
MEMBER
George E. Condon, Jr., Copley News Service
Condon
MEMBER
John Conomikes, Hearst Corp.
Means
GUEST
David Cook, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Richard T. Cooper, Los Angeles Times
Cooper
MEMBER
Peter M. Copeland, Scripps Howard
McFeatters
GUEST
Robert E. Cramer, Representative from Alabama
Free
GUEST
Joseph R. Crapa, Alexandria, Virginia
Kole
GUEST
Allan W. Cromley, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
MEMBER
John J. Curley, Gannett Co., Inc.
Curley
MEMBER
B. J. Cutler, Scripps Howard
Cutler
MEMBER
J. Robert Cutter, Arlington, Virginia
Sult
GUEST
Joseph D'Angelo, King Features Syndicate
Rowan
GUEST
Mark Dacey, Chicago Sun-Times
Watson
GUEST
Gen. John R. Dailey, USMC
Perry, J.
AUCTION
Rex Damschroder, Fremont, Ohio
Powell
GUEST
Frank A. Daniels, Jr., Raleigh News and Observer
Mears
GUEST
Robert Danzig, Hearst Corp.
Means
GUEST
Richard G. Darman, Washington, D. C.
Hunt
AUCTION
Steve Davis, USA Today
Cohen
GUEST
C. Williamson Day, Reston, Virginia
terHorst
GUEST
Robert Decherd, A. H. Belo Corp.
Leubsdorf
GUEST
David F. Demarest, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Condon
AUCTION
Moise W. Dennery, New Orleans, Louisiana
Poe
GUEST
The Secretary of Veterans Affairs
Novak
AUCTION
Kevin Deverich, Washington, D. C.
Deverich
MEMBER
Caroline Diamond, Patriot News
Free
GUEST
Charles J. DiBona, Washington, D. C.
Lastelic
GUEST
Grant Dillman, Alexandria, Virginia
Dillman
MEMBER
Gregory Dillon, Beverly Hills, California
Deverich
GUEST
David Dinkins, Mayor of New York
Weaver
AUCTION
Muriel Dobbin, McClatchy Newspapers
Dobbin
MEMBER
Brian J. Donnelly, Gannett Co., Inc.
Ryan, R.
GUEST
Brian T. Donnelly, Mt. Ranier, Maryland
Donnelly
MEMBER
Edwin Dorn, Burke, Virginia
Raspberry
GUEST
Robert Douglas, Washington, D. C.
Geyelin
GUEST
Netty Douglass, Christian Science Publishing
Sperling
GUEST
Society
Richard B. Dudman, Ellsworth, Maine
Dudman
MEMBER
Paul Duke, Washington, D. C.
Geyer
GUEST
Fred Dutton, Washington, D. C.
Miller, N.
GUEST
John H. Duvall, Alexandria, Virginia
Duvall
MEMBER
Laurence C. Eklund, Bethesda, Maryland
Eklund
MEMBER
Mel Elfin, Washington, D. C.
Glass
GUEST
Robert M. Ellison, Washington, D.C.
O'Rourke-Poe
AUCTION
Alan S. Emory, Watertown Daily Times
Emory
MEMBER
Eric S. Emory, Katonah, New York
Emory
GUEST
James S. Evans, Media General
Hall
GUEST
Rowland Evans, Jr., Chicago Sun-Times
Novak
GUEST
William Evans, Dallas Morning News
Leubsdorf
GUEST
Frank E. Everest, Jr., Alexandria, Virginia
Ribble
GUEST
Jean Everest, Alexandria, Virginia
Ribble
GUEST
Neil Fabricant, New York
terHorst
GUEST
Thomas L. Farmer, Washington, D. C.
Dudman
GUEST
Mimi A. Feller, Gannett Co., Inc.
Anthan
GUEST
Harvey S. Fenster, Bethesda, Maryland
Karr
GUEST
Dan Fesperman, Baltimore Sun
Club
VIP
Robert G. Fichenberg, Newhouse Newspapers
Fichenberg
MEMBER
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 4
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Jerald Finch, Richmond News Leader
Hall
GUEST
Laurie Firestone, Washington, D. C.
Bourgeois
GUEST
Douglas O. Fitzsimmons, Washington, D.C.
Beale
GUEST
Marlin Fitzwater, Washington, D. C.
Thomas
AUCTION
Earl W. Foell, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Heather Foley, Washington, D. C.
Club
VIP
The Speaker of the House of Representatives
Club
VIP
Maj. Timothy W. Foley, USMC
Foley
MEMBER
John C. Fontaine, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
Wendell Ford, Senator from Kentucky
Lewis, K.
AUCTION
Glen Fortinberry, Detroit, Michigan
Rowan
GUEST
Giraud V. Foster, Baltimore, Maryland
Cutler
GUEST
Norman C. Frances, New Orleans, Louisiana
Poe
GUEST
Max Frankel, New York Times
Frankel
MEMBER
James S. Free, Bethesda, Maryland
Free
MEMBER
William H. Freivogel, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Adams, R.
GUEST
John E. Frohnmayer, Washington, D. C.
Groer
GUEST
Ernest B. Furgurson, Baltimore Sun
Furgurson
MEMBER
James P. Gannon, Detroit News
Ryan, R.
GUEST
Robert A. Georgine, Washington, D. C.
Silverman
AUCTION
Richard Gergle, Washington, D. C.
Ritter
GUEST
Jack W. Germond, Baltimore Evening Sun
Germond
MEMBER
Philip L. Geyelin, Washington, D. C.
Geyelin
MEMBER
Sherry Geyelin, Washington, D. C.
Geyelin
GUEST
Georgie Anne Geyer, Universal Press Syndicate
Geyer
MEMBER
Phillip S. Giaramita, Herndon, Virginia
Phillips
GUEST
Gwen Gibson, Alexandria, Virginia
Dillman
GUEST
Robert H. Giles, Detroit News
Ryan, R.
GUEST
Newt Gingrich, Representative from Georgia
Novak
AUCTION
Andrew J. Glass, Cox Newspapers
Glass
MEMBER
Alixe Glen, Washington, D. C.
Page
GUEST
David U. Gogol, Washington, D. C.
McDaniel
GUEST
Victor Gold, Falls Church, Virginia
Nelson, J.
GUEST
Neil Goldberg, Syracuse, New York
McCarthy
GUEST
Steve Goldberg, Media General
Hall
GUEST
Steve Goldstein, Washington, D. C.
Wieck
MEMBER
John T. Gould, Jr., Stamford, Connecticut
Larrabee
GUEST
Phil G. Goulding, Potomac, Maryland
Wiese
GUEST
Vicki Gowler, Knight-Ridder Newspapers
Bandy
GUEST
Ernest D. Grady, Philadelphia Daily News
Grady
MEMBER
Henry F. Graff, Scarsdale, New York
Emory
GUEST
Donald E. Graham, Washington Post
Johnson
GUEST
Katharine Graham, Washington Post
Block
GUEST
Walter Graham, Alexandria, Virginia
Hunter
GUEST
Gen. Alfred M. Gray, Jr., USMC
Apple
AUCTION
Nancy L. Green, Springfield News-Leader
Mears
GUEST
Stephen J. Green, Copley News Service
Lewis, F.
GUEST
William C. Green, Huntsville Times
Free
GUEST
Meg Greenfield, Washington Post
Raspberry
GUEST
Alan Greenspan, Chairman, Federal Reserve Board
Thomasson
AUCTION
Thomas H. Greer, Cleveland Plain Dealer
Brazaitis
GUEST
Anne L. Groer, Orlando Sentinel
Groer
MEMBER
Richard N. Haass, Washington, D. C.
Page
GUEST
John Hager, Messenger-Inquirer
Lewis, K.
GUEST
Marcia L. Hale, Washington, D. C.
Johnson
GUEST
Elliott S. Hall, Washington, D. C.
terHorst
GUEST
John N. Hall, Media General
Hall
MEMBER
Robert J. Hall, Philadelphia Inquirer & Daily
Broom
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 5
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
News
Ashley Halsley, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
William B. Hamilton, Washington Post
McGrory
GUEST
Edward T. Hanley, Washington, D. C.
Silverman
AUCTION
Jorgen H. Hansen, Atlanta, Georgia
Deverich
GUEST
Michael C. Hanson, New York
Barnett
GUEST
William Harlow, Washington, D. C.
Rennert
GUEST
Barbara Harris, Washington, D. C.
Jaques
GUEST
Virginia S. Harris, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Peter D. Hart, Washington, D. C.
Johnson
GUEST
Richard Harwood, Washington Post
Johnson
GUEST
Robert Haught, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
GUEST
Teddy Hawkins, Montclair, New Jersey
Duvall
GUEST
Wilton Hawkins, Montclair, New Jersey
Duvall
GUEST
Jon Healey, Winston-Salem Journal
McDowell
GUEST
Robert L. Healy, Cohasset, Massachusetts
Healy
MEMBER
Randolph A. Hearst, Hearst Corp.
Lewis, C.
GUEST
Veronica Hearst, New York
Lewis, C.
GUEST
William Hellman, Chicago, Illinois
Watson
GUEST
David Hendin, United Media
Thomasson
GUEST
Bob Herbert, New York Daily News
Jackman
GUEST
Rafael Hernandez-Colon, Governor of Puerto Rico
Geyer
AUCTION
Peter Hillan, Dallas Times Herald
Arvidson
GUEST
G. Robert Hillman, Dallas Morning News
Lewis, K.
GUEST
Carla A. Hills, U.S. Trade Representative
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
Cragg Hines, Houston Chronicle
Hines
MEMBER
John H. Hoagland, Jr., Christian Science
Sperling
GUEST
Publishing Society
Claude E. Hobbs, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Ryan, M.
GUEST
David Hoffman, Washington Post
Block
GUEST
James Hoge, New York Daily News
Nelson, L.
GUEST
Ede Holiday, Washington, D. C.
Nelson, J.
GUEST
Jane Hollister, Fairfax, Virginia
Matarrese
GUEST
Capt. Richard M. Hoover, USN
Duvall
GUEST
Joan Kelly Horne, Representative from Missouri
Adams, R.
GUEST
Nicholas Horrock, Chicago Tribune
Horrock
MEMBER
James I. Houck, Baltimore Sun
Furgurson
GUEST
Toni House, Washington, D.C.
McKinney
AUCTION
Jack R. Howard, Scripps Howard
Cutler
GUEST
Sherry Howard, Knight-Ridder Newspapers
Bandy
GUEST
Thomas Howard, Richmond Times-Dispatch
Hall
GUEST
Deborah Howell, Newhouse Newspapers
Fichenberg
GUEST
Clark Hoyt, Knight-Ridder Newspapers
Bandy
GUEST
Albert R. Hunt, Wall Street Journal
Hunt
MEMBER
Marjorie Hunter, Washington, D. C.
Hunter
MEMBER
Stanley Ikenberry, Urbana, Illinois
Sperling
GUEST
Thayer Illsley, Washington, D. C.
Jackman
AUCTION
John Iltis, Chicago, Illinois
Watson
GUEST
Francis P. Jackman, New York Daily News
Jackman
MEMBER
Eli S. Jacobs, New York
Germond
GUEST
Milton G. Jaques, Washington, D. C.
Jaques
MEMBER
William J. Jefferson, Representative from
Poe
GUEST
Louisiana
Franklyn G. Jenifer, Washington, D.C.
Rowan
AUCTION
Catherine C. Johnson, Watertown Daily Times
Emory
GUEST
Haynes Johnson, Washington Post
Johnson
MEMBER
John B. Johnson, Sr., Watertown Daily Times
Emory
GUEST
Richard J. V. Johnson, Houston Chronicle
Hines
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 6
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Robert M. Johnson, Newsday
Page
GUEST
Sandy Johnson, Associated Press
Mears
GUEST
W. Thomas Johnson, Atlanta, Georgia
Lewine
GUEST
Laurence Jolidon, USA Today
Ringle
GUEST
David R. Jones, New York Times
Weaver
GUEST
Vernon Jordan, Washington, D. C.
Hunt
GUEST
W. J. Julian, Knoxville, Tennessee
Foley
GUEST
Karen Jurgensen, USA Today
Cohen
GUEST
Kathryn Kahler, Newhouse Newspapers
Fichenberg
AUCTION
Gladys Karr, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Karr
GUEST
Lester B. Karr, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Karr
MEMBER
Nancy Kassebaum, Senator from Kansas
Kilpatrick
GUEST
Helen Kaufman, New York
Fichenberg
GUEST
Irving R. Kaufman, New York
Fichenberg
GUEST
Ronald C. Kaufman, Washington, D. C.
Condon
GUEST
Stella Kaufman, Ann Arbor, Michigan
Thomas
GUEST
William J. Keating, Cincinnati Enquirer
Rosenthal
GUEST
John Keller, Washington, D. C.
Deverich
GUEST
Ed Kelley, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
GUEST
Justice Kennedy
Rennert
AUCTION
George Kentera, Pinefurst, North Carolina
Grady
GUEST
Richard Kerr, Washington, D. C.
Ostrow
GUEST
James Jackson Kilpatrick, Universal Press
Kilpatrick
MEMBER
Syndicate
Colbert King, Washington Post
Raspberry
GUEST
Joseph Kingsbury-Smith, Hearst Corp.
Means
GUEST
Lane Kirkland, Washington, D.C.
Johnson
AUCTION
Herbert G. Klein, Copley Newspapers
Condon
GUEST
Virginia Ted J. Kleisner, White Sulphur Springs, West
Club
VIP
James Klurfeld, Newsday
Klurfeld
MEMBER
Ted Knap, McLean, Virginia
Knap
MEMBER
John W. Kole, Arlington, Virginia
Kole
MEMBER
David Kraslow, Cox Newspapers
Kraslow
MEMBER
Otto Kreisher, Copley News Service
Lewis, F.
GUEST
William Kristol, Washington, D. C.
Cooper
GUEST
Peter J. Kumpa, Lutherville, Maryland
Kumpa
MEMBER
Benjamin B. Lacy, Washington, D. C.
Reed
GUEST
Melvin R. Laird, Washington, D.C.
Broder
AUCTION
Brian Lamb, Washington, D.C.
Brazaitis
AUCTION
Donald R. Larrabee, Bethesda, Maryland
Larrabee
MEMBER
Joseph A. Lastelic, Alexandria, Virginia
Lastelic
MEMBER
James H. Latimer, Richmond, Virginia
McDowell
GUEST
David Laventhol, Los Angeles Times
Cooper
GUEST
Eppie Lederer, Chicago Tribune
Neikirk
GUEST
Jim Lehrer, Washington, D.C.
Ross
GUEST
Morris Leibman, Chicago, Illinois
Geyer
GUEST
Harry Leinenweber, Chicago, Illinois
Broder
GUEST
Joseph Lelyveld, New York Times
Apple
GUEST
John Lemmon, Baltimore Evening Sun
Germond
GUEST
Lawrence A. Leser, Scripps Howard
Thomasson
GUEST
Carl P. Leubsdorf, Dallas Morning News
Leubsdorf
MEMBER
Francis L. Lewine, Washington, D. C.
Lewine
MEMBER
Charles J. Lewis, Hearst Newspapers
Lewis, C.
MEMBER
Finlay Lewis, Copley News Service
Lewis, F.
MEMBER
Kathy Lewis, Dallas Morning News
Lewis, K.
MEMBER
Lou Liay, Urbana, Illinois
Club
VIP
Harold R. Lifvendahl, Orlando Sentinel
Groer
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 7
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Murray B. Light, Buffalo News
McCarthy
GUEST
Sol M. Linowitz, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Stanford Lipsey, Buffalo News
McCarthy
GUEST
Neil Livingstone, Washington, D. C.
Dobbin
GUEST
Jack Loftis, Houston Chronicle
Hines
GUEST
Harold Logan, Macon, Georgia
Club
VIP
Gen. John M. Loh, USAF
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
Ralph E. Looney, Albuquerque, New Mexico
Thomasson
GUEST
Doree Lovell, Baltimore Sun
Block
GUEST
Bill Lowrey, Representative from California
Lewis, F.
GUEST
Joan Lowy, Scripps Howard
McFeatters
GUEST
The Secretary of the Interior
Wieck
AUCTION
Ray Mabus, Governor of Mississippi
Raspberry
AUCTION
Alex Machaskee, Cleveland Plain Dealer
Brazaitis
GUEST
Robert MacNeil, New York
Apple
AUCTION
Eddie Mahe, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Wieck
MEMBER
Julia Malone, Cox Newspapers
Kraslow
GUEST
Frank Mankiewicz, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Leonard H. Marks, Washington, D. C.
Reed
GUEST
David O'B. Martin, Representative from New York
Emory
GUEST
Edmund O. Martin, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
GUEST
The Secretary of Labor
Broder
AUCTION
James P. Maselan, Boston, Massachusetts
Prina
GUEST
John Mashek, Boston Globe
Healy
GUEST
Ike Massey, Dallas Times Herald
Arvidson
GUEST
Antony F. Matarrese, Woodbridge, Virginia
Matarrese
MEMBER
Ann Maurer, New York
Means
GUEST
Gil Maurer, Hearst Corp.
Means
GUEST
Robert Maxwell, New York Daily News
Nelson, L.
GUEST
Margaret Mayer, Washington, D. C.
Mayer
MEMBER
John H. McAuliffe, Bethesda, Maryland
Sperling
GUEST
Mary McAuliffe, Bethesda, Maryland
Sperling
GUEST
Mavyn McAuliffe, Bethesda, Maryland
Sperling
GUEST
Richard Max McCarthy, Buffalo News
McCarthy
MEMBER
James H. McCartney, Washington, D. C.
McCartney
MEMBER
James McClatchy, McClatchy Newspapers
Rennert
GUEST
Fredrick D. McClure, Washington, D.C.
Arvidson
AUCTION
Douglas H. McCorkindale, Gannett Co., Inc.
Curley
GUEST
Dave McCurdy, Representative from Oklahoma
Cromley
GUEST
G. E. McDavid, Houston Chronicle
Hines
GUEST
Charles McDowell, Richmond Times-Dispatch
McDowell
MEMBER
Ann C. McFeatters
McFeatters
MEMBER
Dale B. McFeatters, Scripps Howard
McFeatters
GUEST
Mary McGrory, Washington Post
McGrory
MEMBER
Sam McKeel, Chicago Sun-Times
Novak
GUEST
Joan McKinney, Baton Rouge Morning Advocate and
McKinney
MEMBER
State-Times
William McManus, Washington, D. C.
Deverich
GUEST
John McMeel, Universal Press Syndicate
Geyer
GUEST
Tom McNamara, USA Today
Cohen
GUEST
Marianne Means, Hearst Newspapers
Means
MEMBER
Walter R. Mears, Associated Press
Mears
MEMBER
Robert H. Michel, Representative from Illinois
Germond
AUCTION
Peter L. Milius, Washington Post
Broder
GUEST
John D. Miller, New York
Watson
GUEST
Lenore Miller, Washington, D. C.
Reed
AUCTION
Loye W. Miller, Jr., Washington, D.C.
Miller, L.
MEMBER
Norman C. Miller, Los Angeles Times
Miller, N.
MEMBER
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 8
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Susan H. Miller, Scripps Howard
McFeatters
GUEST
Thomas V. Mike Miller, Jr., Annapolis, Maryland
Kumpa
GUEST
Stacey Mobley, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Raspberry
GUEST
C. Raymond Mollenhoff, Jr., Olney, Maryland
Mollenhoff
GUEST
John Moore, Scripps Howard
Thomasson
GUEST
Richard A. Moore, U. S. Ambassador to Ireland
Bartlett
GUEST
Martin W. Morris, Washington, D. C.
McDaniel
GUEST
John Morrocco, Washington, D. C.
Phillips
GUEST
Georgette Mosbacher, Washington, D. C.
Brazaitis
GUEST
The Secretary of Commerce
Brazaitis
AUCTION
Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Senator from New York
Emory
GUEST
Robert Mrzak, Representative from New York
Klurfeld
GUEST
Ed Mullinax, Amherst, Ohio
Brazaitis
GUEST
Ryohei Murata, Ambassador of Japan
Rennert
AUCTION
Reg Murphy, Baltimore Sun
Club
VIP
Alan Murray, Wall Street Journal
Perry, J.
GUEST
Vera Murray, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Edmund Muskie, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
William R. Neikirk, Chicago Tribune
Neikirk
MEMBER
Ben Nelson, Governor of Nebraska
Olofson
AUCTION
Gaylord Nelson, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Jack Nelson, Los Angeles Times
Nelson, J.
MEMBER
Lars Erik Nelson, New York Daily News
Jackman
MEMBER
Richard A. Nenneman, Christian Science Monitor
Sperling
GUEST
Alex Netchvolodoff, Washington, D. C.
Glass
GUEST
Richard Newcombe, Los Angeles, California
Neikirk
GUEST
Mark Newhouse, Newark Star Ledger
Free
GUEST
Paul Nine, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
Thomas
GUEST
William H. Noack, Washington, D.C.
Cohen
AUCTION
William Ward Nooter, Washington, D. C.
Free
GUEST
Robert D. Novak, Chicago Sun-Times
Novak
MEMBER
Edward W. O'Brien, McLean, Virginia
O'Brien
MEMBER
Julia O'Brien, Washington, D. C.
O'Brien
GUEST
Patrick T. O'Brien, Associated Press
Mears
GUEST
Theodore W. O'Brien, Baltimore, Maryland
O'Brien
GUEST
John W. O'Connell, Potomac, Maryland
Geyelin
GUEST
William G. O'Donnell, Brooklyn, New York
Bourgeois
GUEST
William F. O'Keefe, Fairfax Station, Virginia
Wiese
GUEST
Lawrence M. O'Rourke, St. Louis Post-Dispatch
O'Rourke
MEMBER
Darwin R. Olofson, Johns Island, South Carolina
Olofson
MEMBER
John Omicinski, Gannett News Service
Ringle
GUEST
Burl Osborne, Dallas Morning News
Leubsdorf
AUCTION
Ronald J. Ostrow, Los Angeles Times
Ostrow
MEMBER
Alan L. Otten, Bethesda, Maryland
Otten
MEMBER
Clarence Page, Chicago Tribune
Horrock
GUEST
Susan Page, Newsday
Page
MEMBER
John W. Palmer, Manhattan Beach, California
Larrabee
GUEST
Richard Parker, Albuquerque Journal
Wieck
MEMBER
Jane Pauley, New York
Thomasson
GUEST
Bill Paulson, Butterfield, Minnesota
Ryan, M.
GUEST
Tony Pederson, Houston Chronicle
Hines
GUEST
Nancy Pelosi, Representative from California
Dobbin
GUEST
George A. Pera, Alexandria, Virginia
Lastelic
GUEST
Charles H. Percy, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Anna Perez, Washington, D.C.
Page
AUCTION
James M. Perry, Wall Street Journal
Perry, J.
MEMBER
Janice Boe Perry, Bethesda, Maryland
Stranahan
GUEST
William Dial Perry, Bethesda, Maryland
Stranahan
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 9
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
William Dial Perry, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Stranahan
GUEST
Robert E. Petersen, Washington, D. C.
Hines
AUCTION
Arthur E. Peterson, Keyser, West Virginia
Olofson
GUEST
Gordon Peterson, Washington, D. C.
Kilpatrick
GUEST
Thomas Petzinger, Jr., Wall Street Journal
Perry, J.
GUEST
Ashton Phelps, Jr., Times-Picayune Publishing
Poe
GUEST
Corp.
Adon W. Phillips, Orlando, Florida
Phillips
MEMBER
Bill Phillips, Washington, D. C.
Lewis, K.
GUEST
Warren Phillips, Wall Street Journal
Hunt
GUEST
Kenneth Pins, Des Moines Register
Anthan
GUEST
Ognian Pishev, Ambassador of Bulgaria
McGrory
GUEST
Edgar A. Poe, New Orleans Times-Picayune
Poe
MEMBER
Roman Popadiuk, Washington, D. C.
Lewis, K.
GUEST
Roger B. Porter, Washington, D.C.
Broder
AUCTION
Erwin Potts, McClatchy Newspapers
Rennert
GUEST
Gen. Colin Powell, USA
Rosenthal
AUCTION
Roland A. Powell, Wheaton, Maryland
Powell
MEMBER
Peter Prichard, USA Today
Cohen
GUEST
L. Edgar Prina, Washington, D. C.
Prina
MEMBER
Lee-Lee Prina, Washington, D. C.
Prina
GUEST
Michael Putzel, Associated Press
Rosenthal
GUEST
The Vice President of the United States
Club
VIP
Mrs. Quayle
Club
VIP
Mary Kay Quinlan, Arlington, Virginia
Quinlan
MEMBER
Paul E. Quinlan, Lincoln, Nebraska
Quinlan
GUEST
Chris Railey, River Ridge, Louisiana
Donnelly
GUEST
Ty Railey, River Ridge, Louisiana
Donnelly
GUEST
Howell Raines, New York Times
Frankel
GUEST
William J. Raspberry, Washington Post
Raspberry
MEMBER
Joseph V. Reed, Chief of Protocol
Thomas
GUEST
Lawrence A. Reed, Midland, Michigan
Ritter
GUEST
T. Dean Reed, Purcellville, Virginia
Reed
MEMBER
Barbara Rehm, New York Daily News
Jackman
GUEST
John W. Reid, Associated Press
Mears
GUEST
Anne Reifenberg, Dallas Morning News
Leubsdorf
GUEST
Leo Rennert, McClatchy Newspapers
Rennert
MEMBER
James Reston, Sr., New York Times
Reston
MEMBER
Sally Reston, Washington, D. C.
Reston
GUEST
John F. Ribble, III, Alexandria, Virginia
Ribble
GUEST
Maureen Ribble, Alexandria, Virginia
Ribble
MEMBER
Donald B. Rice, Secretary of the Air Force
O'Rourke
AUCTION
Robert E. Rich, Jr., Buffalo, New York
McCarthy
GUEST
Ann Richards, Governor of Texas
Hines
AUCTION
Earl H. Richert, Evansville, Indiana
Richert
MEMBER
Thomas Ricks, Wall Street Journal
Otten
GUEST
Marie Ridder, Washington, D. C.
McCartney
GUEST
P. Anthony Ridder, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
John Riggens, Washington, D.C.
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
William M. Ringle, McLean, Virginia
Ringle
MEMBER
Robert Ritter, Gannett News Service
Ringle
GUEST
Rodney B. Ritter, Waldorf, Maryland
Ritter
GUEST
William E. Ritter, Mechanicsburg, Maryland
Ritter
GUEST
William O. Ritter, Lothian, Maryland
Ritter
MEMBER
Gregory R. Robards, Westwood, Kansas
Lastelic
GUEST
Chuck Robb, Senator from Virginia
Reed
AUCTION
Gilbert A. Robinson, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
John D. Rockefeller, IV, Senator from West
Sperling
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 10
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Virginia
Edward M. Rogers, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Bandy
AUCTION
Robert E. Rogers, Great Falls, Virginia
Ryan, M.
GUEST
Sean J. Rogers, Washington, D. C.
Rogers
GUEST
Warren Rogers, Washington, D. C.
Rogers
MEMBER
Ed Rollins, Washington, D. C.
Nelson, L.
AUCTION
Roy Romer, Governor of Colorado
Broder
AUCTION
Susan Porter Rose, Washington, D. C.
terHorst
AUCTION
A. M. Rosenthal, New York Times
Apple
GUEST
Harry F. Rosenthal, Associated Press
Rosenthal
MEMBER
Guinilla Ross, New York
Wise
GUEST
Thomas B. Ross, New York
Ross
MEMBER
Al Rossiter, United Press International
Thomas
GUEST
Carl T. Rowan, Chicago Sun-Times
Rowan
MEMBER
Carl T. Rowan, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Rowan
GUEST
Charles S. Rowe, Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star
Mears
GUEST
Morton J. Rubin, Bethesda, Maryland
Eklund
GUEST
Dr. Juergen Rufus, Ambassador of Germany
Perry, J.
AUCTION
Frank E. Russell, Central Newspapers, Inc.
McDaniel
GUEST
Timothy Russert, Washington, D. C.
Perry, J.
GUEST
MGy/Sgt. Michael S. Ryan, USMC
Ryan, M.
MEMBER
Richard A. Ryan, Detroit News
Ryan, R.
MEMBER
Trixie Ryan, Lothian, Maryland
Ryan, M.
GUEST
William Safire, New York Times
Hunter
GUEST
Fred Salerno, White Plains, New York
Page
GUEST
Bruce Sanford, Washington, D. C.
Cutler
GUEST
Paul Saunier, Jr., Charlottesville, Virginia
McDowell
GUEST
Richard Savitt, New York
Thompson, G.
GUEST
Lloyd G. Schermer, Lee Enterprises
Mears
AUCTION
Richard T. Schlosberg, III, Times-Mirror Co.
Germond
GUEST
Patricia Schroeder, Representative from Colorado
McCartney
AUCTION
Arthur Schultz, Sun-Times Company
Coffey
GUEST
Harry Schwarz, Ambassador of South Africa
Kilpatrick
GUEST
David W. Scott, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
terHorst
GUEST
Gen. Brent Scowcroft, Washington, D. C.
Hines
AUCTION
Charles E. Scripps, Scripps Howard
Cutler
GUEST
Marilyn J. Scripps, Cincinnati, Ohio
Thomasson
GUEST
Mark Seibel, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
L. William Seidman, Chairman, FDIC
Otten
AUCTION
John L. Selover, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
William Sessions, Director, Federal Bureau of
Ostrow
AUCTION
Investigation
Bernard Shaw, Takoma Park, Maryland
Novak
AUCTION
Gaylord Shaw, Newsday
Page
GUEST
Robert D. Shaw, Jr., Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Grady
GUEST
Leonard Shaykin, New York
Coffey
GUEST
James Sheehan, A. H. Belo Corp.
Leubsdorf
GUEST
Frank H. Shepherd, Scripps Howard
Thomasson
GUEST
Mark Shields, Washington, D. C.
Sperling
GUEST
Benjamin R. Shore, Copley News Service
Condon
GUEST
Gen. Denis L. Shortal, USMCR
Shortal
GUEST
Terence Michael Shortal, McLean, Virginia
Shortal
MEMBER
Valman Shovall, Ambassador of Israel
Dobbin
GUEST
Michael Shultz, Baltimore Evening Sun
Germond
GUEST
Alvin Silverman, Washington, D. C.
Silverman
MEMBER
Richard D. Simmons, Washington Post
Broder
GUEST
John R. Simpson, Director, Secret Service
terHorst
AUCTION
Molly Sinclair, Washington Post
McCartney
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 11
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
William C. Sjoberg, Lubbock, Texas
Mayer
GUEST
The Secretary of Transportation
Page
AUCTION
Patrick J. Sloyan, Newsday
Hall
GUEST
Hampton Smith, Lexington, Virginia
Mollenhoff
GUEST
Hedrick L. Smith, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Smith
MEMBER
Liz Smith, New York Daily News
Jackman
GUEST
Richard Smyser, Newcastle, New Hampshire
Smith
GUEST
Richard Snelling, Governor of Vermont
Cohen
AUCTION
Vincent Sombrotto, Washington, D. C.
Reed
AUCTION
Justice Souter
Nelson, L.
AUCTION
Stuart Spencer, Irvine, California
Dobbin
GUEST
Betty Sperling, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Sperling
GUEST
Godfrey Sperling, Jr., Christian Science Monitor
Sperling
MEMBER
Alvin A. Spivak, Bethesda, Maryland
Cromley
GUEST
James D. Squires, Nonesuch, Kentucky
Thomasson
GUEST
Benson Srere, Hearst Corp.
Means
GUEST
James Standard, Daily Oklahoman
Cromley
GUEST
Frank Starr, Baltimore Sun
Furgurson
GUEST
Paul Steiger, Wall Street Journal
Otten
GUEST
Laura Sessions Stepp, Washington Post
Broder
GUEST
Hans Sternberg, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Groer
GUEST
Joseph R. L. Sterne, Baltimore Sun
Club
GUEST
Roger Stevens, Washington, D.C.
Horrock
AUCTION
James Stewart, Wall Street Journal
Perry, J.
GUEST
Matt Storin, New York Daily News
Nelson, L.
GUEST
Richard Stormont, Atlanta, Georgia
Shortal
GUEST
Louise Perry Stranahan, Bethesda, Maryland
Stranahan
GUEST
Robert P. Stranahan, Jr., Bethesda, Maryland
Stranahan
MEMBER
Helen Strauss, Washington, D.C.
Club
VIP
Robert Strauss, Washington, D. C.
Club
VIP
Reginald Stuart, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
McCartney
GUEST
The Secretary of Health and Human Services
Horrock
AUCTION
Ernest P. Sult, Springfield, Virginia
Sult
MEMBER
Stephen C. Sult, Burke, Virginia
Sult
GUEST
Arthur O. Sulzberger, Sr., New York Times
Apple
GUEST
Arthur O. Sulzberger, Jr., New York Times
Apple
GUEST
John Sununu, Washington, D.C.
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
Stephen N. Taft, Washington, D.C.
Larrabee
GUEST
TBA
Ringle
GUEST
Pete Teeley, Washington, D. C.
Cooper
GUEST
Wick Temple, Associated Press
Rosenthal
GUEST
Jerald F. terHorst, Alexandria, Virginia
terHorst
MEMBER
J. William Theis, III, Cincinnati, Ohio
Theis
GUEST
J. William Theis, College Park, Maryland
Theis
MEMBER
Helen Thomas, United Press International
Thomas
MEMBER
Dan K. Thomasson, Scripps Howard
Thomasson
MEMBER
Alan R. Thompson, Scripps Howard
Knap
GUEST
Robert E. Thompson, Hearst Newspapers
Thompson, R.
MEMBER
Tommy Thompson, Governor of Wisconsin
Hunt
AUCTION
The Attorney General
Ostrow
AUCTION
William T. Tobin, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
McCarthy
GUEST
Ernest Tollerson, Newsday
Page
GUEST
Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, Pleasantville, New York
Novak
GUEST
Vance H. Trimble, Covington, Kentucky
Richert
GUESTI
Hugh Trout, Washington, D. C.
Ostrow
GUEST
Garry Trudeau, Universal Press Service
Wieghart
GUEST
Paul Tully, Washington, D. C.
Lewis, F.
GUEST
Ed Turner, Atlanta, Georgia
Novak
GUEST
1991 Spring Dinner Guest List
page 12
3/19/91
LISTING
HOST
CLASS
Adm. Stansfield Turner, McLean, Virginia
Sperling
GUEST
Margaret Tutweiler, Washington, D.C.
Lewis, K.
AUCTION
Joseph M. Ungaro, Detroit Newspaper Agency
Ryan, R.
GUEST
Jack Valenti, Washington, D. C.
Glass
GUEST
Abigail Van Buren, United Feature Syndicate
Thomas
GUEST
Pieter Vanbennekom, United Press International
Thomas
GUEST
William Vance, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Grady
GUEST
James M. Verner, Arlington, Virginia
Thompson, R.
GUEST
Richard N. Viets, Washington, D. C.
Geyelin
GUEST
Barbara Vobejda, Washington Post
Broder
GUEST
Gen. Carl E. Vuono, USA
Rowan
AUCTION
Victoria Wakefield, United Press International
Wiessler
GUEST
Myron S. Waldman, Newsday
Page
AUCTION
Thomas E. Waldrop, Vienna, Virginia
McDowell
GUEST
Ruth Walker, Christian Science Monitor
Sperling
GUEST
Robert Walters, Newspaper Enterprise Association
Thomasson
GUEST
Gary L. Watson, Gannett Co., Inc.
Anthan
GUEST
Jerome R. Watson, Chicago Sun-Times
Watson
MEMBER
Warren Weaver, Jr., Washington, D. C.
Weaver
MEMBER
William H. Webster, Director, Central
Hunt
AUCTION
Intelligence Agency
William F. Weld, Governor of Massachusetts
Ostrow
AUCTION
Paul West, Baltimore Sun
Furgurson
GUEST
Togo D. West, Washington, D. C.
Miller, L.
GUEST
John White, Washington, D. C.
Nelson, J.
GUEST
Robert White, Sacramento, California
Condon
GUEST
Paul R. Wieck, Albuquerque Journal
Wieck
MEMBER
James G. Wieghart, Mt. Pleasant, Michigan
Wieghart
MEMBER
Arthur E. Wiese, Alexandria, Virginia
Wiese
MEMBER
David A. Wiessler, United Press International
Wiessler
MEMBER
Judy B. Wiessler, Houston Chronicle
Wiessler
GUEST
L. Douglas Wilder, Governor of Virginia
Furgurson
AUCTION
Eddie Williams, Washington, D. C.
Apple
AUCTION
Larry Williams, Knight-Ridder, Inc.
Boyd
GUEST
James Willse, New York Daily News
Nelson, L.
GUEST
Pete Wilson, Governor of California
Dobbin
AUCTION
David Wise, Washington, D.C.
Wise
MEMBER
Jules Witcover, Baltimore Evening Sun
Germond
GUEST
James Wolfensohn, Washington, D.C.
Nelson, J.
AUCTION
Jonathan Wolman, Associated Press
Rosenthal
GUEST
Harvey W. Wood, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Patricia Wood, Boston, Massachusetts
Sperling
GUEST
Graham Woodlief, Media General
Hall
GUEST
Judy Woodruff, Washington, D. C.
Hunt
GUEST
Natalie Wozniak, Washington, D. C.
Cooper
GUEST
Mikeal N. Wright, Vincennes Sun-Commercial
Cole
GUEST
William H. Wynn, Washington, D. C.
Reed
AUCTION
Clayton Yeutter, Washington, D. C.
Condon
AUCTION
Thomas A. Young, Potomac, Maryland
Phillips
GUEST
Barry Zorthian, Washington, D. C.
Rogers
GUEST
Susan Zox, Chevy Chase, Maryland
Smith
GUEST
2
It really hasn't been a good year for George Mitchell.
First, he voted against the use of force.
Then he put his money on
(Foreman? Bo Jackson?)
And now that the war is over,
maybe Wolf Blitzer can go back
to his real name.
At the height of the war, I asked Barbara
if she was scared at all.
"No," she said, "because the strongest, bravest man I know
is in charge."
I said, "Gee, Bar, thanks."
She said, "I meant Norman Schwarzkopf."
I'm sure you're as impressed as I am with Norman Schwartzkopf's
incredible grit, determination and courage.
And that was just to get through
the interview with Barbara Walters.
I know many of you reporters have been roughing it lately.
But Arthur Kent says it wasn't so bad
staying at the Sheraton Riyadh.
In fact, he said the towels were so fluffy,
he could barely get his suitcase shut.
* * *
All joking aside, tonight has been wonderful. Barbara and I
always enjoy ourselves at the Gridiron, but we found your tribute
to the troops to be especially moving. There was a line in it
that "through the fog of distant war shines the strength of their
devotion."
As I've said before, our soldiers, airmen, sailors, Marines
and Coast Guardsmen embodied the ideals of honor and bravery and
duty and country -- and were willing to sacrifice everything for
the sake of those simple words.
4
OTHER POSSIBLE JOKES
Did you hear about those Iraqi soldiers who gave themselves up to
a jeep full of reporters? They asked for three things:
A hot meal, some cold water, and (Arthur Kent's autograph?)
We suspected most Iraqis weren't too keen about fighting.
Our spy satellites spotted one of their tanks
with a bumper sticker that read,
("I'd Rather Be Surrendering"?)
I understand that in order to build the kind of image "Stormin'
Norman" has, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has decided to go
by nicknames too. ///
But really, I don't think "Rollin' Colin" is appropriate. ///
They say weighlifting builds up the chest and shoulder muscles,
swimming builds up the arms, running builds up the legs
Marlin, do you do a lot of horseback riding?
Barbara was showing the kids the old family album, and George Jr.
pointed at a picture and asked, "Who's that good looking guy with
the handsome face and the big muscles?" Barbara smiled and said,
"That's your father, dear." He looked at me and said, "Then, who
is he?"
Grant/Dooley
March 21, 1991
12 noon A:GRIDIRON
PRESIDENTIAL REMARKS: GRIDIRON DINNER
CAPITOL HILTON
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
9:30 P.M.
((Acknowledgements))
After watching tonight's entertainment, I'll say one thing:
If I had a white flag, I'd wave it.
One thing's for sure:
After those last few skits, I don't have to warn people
to guard against euphoria.
In anticipation of seeing so many reporters here tonight,
The other day I asked Marlin for a list of the press corps,
Broken down by sex.
He said, "Actually, sir, booze is more of a problem."
Always good to see Bernie Shaw sitting at the table,
instead of under it.
Happy to see Ambassador Al-Sabah of Kuwait could join us tonight.
I understand that during his recent travels, Jim Baker
tried out some of tonight's jokes on him.
After hearing them, the Ambassador said,
"Don't you think we've suffered enough?"
I think the wimp factor has finally been put to rest. //
Jim Baker did support the use of force.
(Bob Strauss jokes to come)
The Washington Post reported this week that Marlin's on a diet.
Trying to lose his "Falstaffian figure," it said.
Apparently his doctor told him he'd have to cut out his cozy
little dinners for two.
Either that or find somebody to eat with.
Hey, this is fun. //
I haven't gotten this many laughs
since my last speech on domestic policy.
Sure, I'm aware of the complaints in the media
about no domestic agenda
...
lack of vision.
But I'm sure Bob Strauss can help the Democrats improve.
5
Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the Iraqi Air Force.
3
And so, if I may, I'd like to offer a toast to the brave men
and women who fought for freedom in the Persian Gulf. I raise my
glass: To those who liberated a nation abroad and transformed a
nation at home -- to our troops.
# # #
Allan Cromley - Sec. of Gridiron
GOP Skit
Norm Desert Band - (Aler P
anchors, Peter Amett
Cheney & Powell a press
Sununu (60d father III) That s Amore
I'm Sununy
Census
Erudicate Dems t bhostbusters)
bingrich - Send in the Clowns
BB 'Norman"
One Enchanted Evening - Experts
April in Baghdad - Glaspie of Simpson
JAB - Peace is Bustin Out All Over
Mrs. POTUS Wood M = pub (SM)
Budge
Mrs. Foley
Sperling - CSM
Rep. Michel
Mr. Straus 5
ben. Vuono - Army LOS
Justice Souter
Mosb
Sununu
Sullivan
Mrs JAB
Alexander
Darman bec. Brady
Sec. AF
Scowcroft
Ron Brown
Atty ben
600
Schwarzkopf? Schwarz kopf?
UP
Mrs. Bush
Mrs. Sperling
MB. Q
Spkr Foley
Mrs. Strauss 3
JAB
Powell
Just. Kennedy
Lujan Sec. Cheney
Martin
Yuetter
rift.
Skinner
Derwinski
ben Hills Grey - USMC
Burl Osborne -Dallas/News Morning - ASNE
Fitzwater
Arnett
Bernard Show
Maine Band
Chorus Opening
Georgie RWApple Ann beyer
Ininiation
Dem Skit
Nicho Horrick chi Trib
GOP skit
DavidniPoster - UPI
Closing POTUS Number
Aula Lank Gune
1885
Cap Hilt since WWII
Rem - Strawes
Rep - JAB3
Toast
5:30 cocktail
17:00 POTUS an.
trud speech in the dark - Sperling on. CSM can.
Main Band
Opener
Dem
food
stracks
Good
Baker
food
batta
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THE CAPITAL HILTON
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PAN-AMERICAN
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SecretSen.
setspm
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LOBBY
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Suite 956 5 6:30 Knight Ridder
Suite 1274 10pm- 3:30am Detroit News I Gannett
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON
March 22, 1991
MEMORANDUM TO THE PRESIDENT
THROUGH:
DAVID DEMAREST
TONY SNOW
FROM:
MARY KATE GRANT
SUBJECT:
MORE GRIDIRON JOKES
Attached for your review are additional jokes for the
Gridiron. The second page ABSOLUTELY CANNOT BE USED, but we
thought you might like to see the product of some late-night
"brainstorming."
Also, we spoke with Bob Strauss. His focus will largely be
on the Cabinet and such "easy targets" as Governor Sununu, Dick
Darman and Secretary Baker.
Grant/Dooley
March 21, 1991
3 p.m. A:GRIDIRON
PRESIDENTIAL REMARKS: GRIDIRON DINNER
CAPITOL HILTON
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
9:30 P.M.
( (Acknowledgements)
After watching tonight's entertainment, I'll say one thing:
If I had a white flag, I'd wave it.
One thing's for sure:
After those last few skits, I don't have to warn people
to guard against euphoria.
In anticipation of seeing so many reporters here tonight,
The other day I asked Marlin for a list of the press corps,
Broken down by sex.
He said, "Actually, sir, booze is more of a problem."
Always good to see Bernie Shaw sitting at the table,
instead of under it.
Happy to see Ambassador Al-Sabah of Kuwait could join us tonight.
I understand that during his recent travels, Jim Baker
tried out some of tonight's jokes on him.
After hearing them, the Ambassador said,
"Don't you think we've suffered enough?"
I think the wimp factor has finally been put to rest. //
Jim Baker did support the use of force.
(Bob Strauss jokes to come)
The Washington Post reported this week that Marlin's on a diet.
Trying to lose his "Falstaffian figure," it said.
Apparently his doctor told him he'd have to cut out his cozy
little dinners for two.
Either that or find somebody to eat with.
Hey, this is fun. //
I haven't gotten this many laughs
since my last speech on domestic policy.
Sure, I'm aware of the complaints in the media
about no domestic agenda
lack of vision.
But I'm sure Bob Strauss can help the Democrats.
And now that the war is over,
maybe Wolf Blitzer can go back
to his real name.
I know many of you reporters have been roughing it lately.
But Arthur Kent says it wasn't so bad
staying at the Sheraton Riyadh.
In fact, he said the towels were so fluffy,
he could barely get his suitcase shut.
At the height of the war, I asked Barbara
if she was scared at all.
"No," she said, "because the strongest, bravest man I know
is in charge."
I said, "Gee, Bar, thanks."
She said, "I meant Norman Schwarzkopf."
I'm sure you're as impressed as I am with Norman Schwarzkopf's
incredible grit, determination and courage.
And that was just to get through
the interview with Barbara Walters.
* * *
All joking aside, tonight has been wonderful. Barbara and I
always enjoy ourselves at the Gridiron, but we found your tribute
to the troops to be especially moving. There was a line in it
that "through the fog of distant war shines the strength of their
devotion. "
As I've said before, our soldiers, airmen, sailors, Marines
and Coast Guardsmen embodied the ideals of honor and bravery and
duty and country -- and were willing to sacrifice everything for
the sake of those simple words.
And so, if I may, I'd like to offer a toast to the brave men
and women who fought for freedom in the Persian Gulf. I raise my
glass: To those who liberated a nation abroad and transformed a
nation at home -- to our troops.
# # #
OTHER POSSIBLE JOKES
It really hasn't been a good year for George Mitchell.
First, he voted against the use of force.
Then he put his money on
(George Foreman? Bo Jackson?)
Did you hear about those Iraqi soldiers who gave themselves up to
a jeep full of reporters? They asked for three things:
A hot meal, some cold water, and
(Arthur Kent's autograph?)
We suspected most Iraqis weren't too keen about fighting.
Our spy satellites spotted one of their tanks
with a bumper sticker that read
.
("I'd Rather Be Surrendering"?)
I understand that in order to build the kind of image "Stormin'
Norman" has, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has decided to go
by nicknames too. ///
But really, I don't think "Rollin' Colin" is appropriate. ///
They say weighlifting builds up the shoulder muscles, swimming
builds up the arms, running builds up the legs
Marlin, do you do a lot of horseback riding?
Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the Iraqi Air Force.
I held up pretty well through the "100 Day War,"
but I wasn't sure I'd make it through this 100 Hour Dinner.
It was very satisfying to see American soldiers handing out candy
and cigarettes to the Iraqis who gave themselves up.
In fact, 30,000 Russians tried to surrender.
Here's something I thought I'd never see.
People in Baghdad are so upset with Saddam,
for a change Iraqis are burning their own flag.
I think Colin Powell's been working too hard.
Just the other day, someone asked the General how high he thinks
the price of crude will go.
He said, "Playboy or Penthouse?"
Barbara was showing the kids the old family album, and George Jr.
pointed at a picture and asked, "Who's that good looking guy with
the handsome face and the big muscles?" Barbara smiled and said,
"That's your father, dear." He looked at me and said, "Then, who
is he?"
ADDITIONAL GRIDIRON JOKES
Thank you, Budge, for that wonderful introduction.
For a minute, I thought I'd have to
pull out my American Express card. [Pull out card]
Some of you may have read the CIA report in the paper
that when one pronounces Hussein's name
as "SADD-em," its Arabic meaning is
"little boy who shines shoes." ///
But did you know that when you pronounce "Sununu" correctly,
it means "big man who never shines his shoes"?
Here's my old friend Bob Strauss, that famous Texan.
You know what they say about him --
All hat, no cattle.
Bob, by my watch [look at watch],
your speech was about 10 minutes long.
Let's see
at 8 million an hour
The Gridiron's now in Chapter 11.
I understand Eppie Lederer is with us tonight.
You know her -- she's Dear Abbie.
Bob Strauss wrote to her recently,
and she asked me to read her response. [pull out paper]
"Dear Washington Wheeler-Dealer," it says.
"Yes. Take the money from both clients."
OR: "I think 8 million dollars an hour may be a little steep."
The other day, I asked Jim Baker
what he really thought of Bob Strauss. //
He looked at me and said,
"He's not a general. // He's not a tactician. // He's not a
strategist. ///
But other than that, he's a great Democratic politician."
Ever since Buddy Roemer became a Republican,
people have been asking
who will be the next big-time Democrat to switch parties.
Well tonight, I'd like to announce that none other than
my old friend Bob Strauss
Well, I'd like to announce it, but Bob's done more for us as a
Democrat, than he'll ever do as a Republican.
FROM:API-PUBLIC RELATIONS
TO:
4562758
MAR 19, 1991 12:29PM P.02
gridiron Club Dinner
SCHEDULE
March 23, 1991
6:30
Dinner Bell
7:00
Music Lights in Out quartet
Speech in the the Air Dark - by" Budge Sgerling, grideron president
7:15
Introduction, U. S. Marine Band
7:25
Fanfare
Opener SKIT
7:35
Remove Rabbit Galantine
Serve Crab & Cron Quiche
7:55
Fanfare Inauguration of sperling handing of gavel
Guest Skit -- Standups - introduction of special guests
Initiation of new members
8:15
Remove Crab & Corn Quiche
Serve Beef and Lamb
8:45
Democratic Fanfare Skit - music dance etc
9:15
Robert Strauss Introduction
Strauss Response
9:25
Remove Beef and Lamb
Serve Top Hats
9:45
Republican Fanfare Skit -music dance etc
10:15
James Baker Introduction
Baker Response
10:25
Fanfare Closer sliet - "Civilwar"song.
10:35
Serve Coffee, Petits Fours,
Champagne
10:55
Toast to the President Bush
Response,4 Auld Lang Syne
Bresident by the
MAR 19 '91 16:58 CAPITAL HILTON SALES DC 737 5742
P.2
EVENT # 1639 RR
DO NOT POST!
THE GRIDIRON CLUB
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
WHITE HOUSE STAFF DINNER
CONTINENTAL ROOM
APPROXIMATELY 18 GUESTS
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VIP - SOIGNE
BILL TO:
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1
26
"Budge"
griden President Club
GODFREY SPERLING, JR., born in Long Beach, California, in
1915, but grew up in the Midwest (Urbana, Illinois).
B.S. in Journalism, University of Illinois, 1937; L.L.B. (J.D.)
Law, University of Oklahoma, 1940.
Joined Monitor after five years of service as an officer
in the U.S. Air Force (rose to Major) during World War II;
retired as Colonel in Reserves in 1975.
Joined Christian Science Monitor in 1946. For 11 years
Monitor's Washington Bureau Chief, up to 1984. Now Monitor's
X
senior Washington columnist. Founder and host of Sperling
Breakfast Group. President Reagan honored Sperling on the
17th anniversary of the breakfast, and continued to do so on
the 18th, 19th and 20th anniversary. In the past both
Presidents Ford and Carter also had the group into the White
House for breakfasts.
Wife: Betty. Daughter: Mary McAuliffe, an historian at CIA;
son-in-law: Jack McAuliffe, Director of Marketing at Kennedy
Center for Performing Arts; Granddaughter: Mavyn McAuliffe, 18,
and headed for MIT. Son: John in real estate in Las Vegas.
wife
Betty
(Budge)
LEFT SIDE
Mr. Godfrey Sperling, Jr.
President of the
BF
Gridiron Club
The President of the United States
Harvey
Mr. ^ Wood
Mrs. Foley
Robert
Mr. Strauss
Patricia
Mrs. Wood
Justice Souter
Mr. Sununu
Mrs. Baker
The Secretary of the Treasury
Mr. Darman
General Scowcroft
Mr. Ron Brown
The Attorney General
Representative Michel
General Vuono
The Secretary of Commerce
and
The Secretary of Health x Human Services
The Secretary of Education
The Secretary of the Air Force
RIGHT SIDE
The Vice President of the United States
Mrs. Sperling
Mrs. Bush
The Speaker of the House of Representatives
Mrs. Quayle
>
e
d
1
The Scretary of State
Helen
Mrs. Strauss
The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Justice Kennedy
The Secretary of Defense
The Secretary of the Interior
The Secretary of Labor
Mr. Yeutter
The Secretary of Transportation
The Secretary of Veterans Affairs
General Gray
The U.S. Trade Representative
Mr. Fitzwater while Hours
Buel
Mr. Osb ome
A
Dallas news
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Hilton Staff
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LOBBY
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Uniformed
K STREET
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SOUTH AMERICAN
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LOWER LOBBY
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White ilse Salt Dinner 1 30pm
Suite 956 5 630 Knight Ridder
Suite 1274 10pm. 3:30am Detroit News I Gannett
SENT BY Xerox Telecopier 7020 ; 3-19-91 ; 2:17PM ;
2023951155-
4562758;# 2
TAB A
CAPITAL HILTON HOTEL
Gridiron Club Dinner
Arrival/Departure Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
WHAT STREET IS Dhs
Motorcade
Limo
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
GUESTS & STAFF
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2023951155-
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TAB
B
THE CAPITAL HILTON
Gridiron Club Dinner
Presidential Ballroom Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
Announce
L Street
Position
Continental
Head Table
Room
Presidential
2nd Floor
Bailroom
2nd Floor
Holding
Room
16th Street
XX
XX
K Street
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
GUESTS & STAFF
X
GREETER
SENT BY:Xerox Telecopier 7020 ; 3-19-91 ; 2:18PM ;
2023951155-
4562758;# 4
TAB C
CAPITAL HILTON HOTEL
Gridiron Club Dinner
Head Table Diagram
Saturday, March 23, 1991
Mr. Osborne, Dallas News
Marlin Fitzwater
Amb. Hills
Gen Gray, USMC
Sec. Derwinski
Sec. Skinner
Mr. Clayton Yeutter
Sec. Martin
Sec. Lujan
Sec. Cheney
Justice Kennedy
Chairman Powell
Mrs. Helen Strauss
Sec. Baker
Mrs. Quayle
Speaker Foley
Mrs. Bush
Mrs. Sperling
The Vice President
Podium
Audience
Mr. Budge Sperling
THE PRESIDENT
Mr. Harvey Wood
Mrs. Foley
Mr. Robert Strauss
Mrs. Patricia Wood
Justice Souter
Gov. Sununu
Mrs. Baker
Sec. Brady
Mr. Darman
Gen. Scowcroft
Mr. Ron Brown
Attorney Gen. Thornburgh
Rep. Michel
General Vuono
Sec. Mosbacher
Sec. Sullivan
Sec. Alexander
Sec. Rice
KEY:
THE PRESIDENT
il Midnight
200 19th
handra Del an booze and drugs
31-2180
M.C. Hammer doll
First female POW
Deharah normello's baby
you'll never Eat hundred this Town again
Redgram Listers
Pay lare for Dags
Hallane/drana Trump oki challenge
ho Jackson
James Brown free / Jim Bakker?
EZE
Ben Patton
natt willify
103/836-1 Don't 103/836-7424 7404
IV
Josephin Baker story
Rocky + Story
E Churs
4g Roseanne Munutes
Mumphy Brown
Sympsons Livin Peaks
Redaptonet Sisters
Day fare for Doge
/
BOOKS
\
Power & the Glitter
MOVIES
new Jack City
The Doore
Scenes. from a mall
deleng of the
sleeping w/the Enemy
King Ralph
Home alone
Dances w/wolnes
L.A. stay
He said the said
Newrending story
Kindergartin Cap
Grant/Dooley
March 21, 1991
12 noon
A:GRIDIRON
PRESIDENTIAL REMARKS: GRIDIRON DINNER
CAPITOL HILTON
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
9:30 P.M.
((Thank you, Budge [Sperling] for that introduction.) )
After watching tonight's entertainment, I'll say one thing:
If I had a white flag, I'd wave it.
One thing's for sure:
After those last few skits, I don't have to warn people
to guard against euphoria.
In anticipation of seeing so many reporters here tonight,
The other day I asked Marlin for a list of the press corps,
Broken down by sex.
He said, "Actually, sir, booze is more of a problem."
Always good to see Bernie Shaw sitting at the table,
instead of under it.
Happy to see Ambassador Al-Sabah of Kuwait could join us tonight.
I understand that during his recent travels, Jim Baker
tried out some of tonight's jokes on him.
After hearing them, the Ambassador said,
"Don't you think we've suffered enough?"
I think the wimp factor has finally been put to rest. //
Jim Baker did support the use of force.
(Bob Strauss jokes to come)
The Washington Post reported this week that Marlin's on a diet.
Trying to lose his "Falstaffian figure," it said.
Apparently his doctor told him he'd have to cut out his cozy
little dinners for two.
Either that or find somebody to eat with.
Hey, this is fun. //
I haven't gotten this many laughs
since my last speech on domestic policy.
Sure, I'm aware of the complaints in the media
about no domestic agenda
lack of vision.
But I'm sure Bob Strauss can help the Democrats improve.
It really hasn't been a good year for George Mitchell.
First, he voted against the use of force.
Brent Scowcroft was able to confirm that Saddam Hussein did,
indeed, spend a lot of time watching CNN.
First clue was when Saddam called into "Sonya Live. "
I think Colin Powell's been working too hard.
Just the other day, someone asked the General how high he thinks
the price of crude will go.
He said, "Playboy or Penthouse?"
I'm sure you're as impressed as I am with Norman Schwartzkopf's
incredible grit, determination and courage. And that was just to
get through the interview with Barbara Walters.
Just this week -- true story -- Norman Schwarzkopf was named
"Sexiest Man in America.' Not by People Magazine. By the
National Enquirer. ///
The National Enquirer reports that "women want to be alone in a
tent" with "the four-star fury who wacked Iraq. " Even my own
wife was quoted as a fan. And the Geraldo Show has been flooded
by calls from women who want him booked for a program.
Apparently they're doing a show entitled
(women who love men who
)
(Camoflage: Yes or No?)
(Generals who
)
I understand that in order to build the kind of image "Stormin"
Norman" has, the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the
Joint Chiefs have decided to go by nicknames too. ///
But really, I don't think "Rollin' Colin" is appropriate. ///
And neither is "Zany Cheney. " ///
It really hasn't been a good year for George Mitchell.
First, he voted against the use of force.
Then he put his money on Princeton against UNLV.
I want to salute our Gridiron President -- Jim Baker -- for the
fine job he's done. Earlier today Jim called me to see if I
still wanted to go to that annual event with all the movers and
shakers. 11 I said, "Gee, I'd love to go to the Final Four."
I understand that during his recent travels, Jim Baker
tried out some of tonight's jokes
on a Kuwaiti diplomat.
The Kuwaiti said, "Don't you think we've suffered enough?"
Now that the war is over,
maybe Wolf Blitzer can go back
to his real name.
Now that the war's over,
we're going to move forward
on the crucial things here at home.
I can't tell you how many trees have gone unplanted.
Hey, this is fun.
THE WHITE HOUSE
I haven't gotten this many WASHINGTON
since my last domestic policy speech.
Sure, I'm aware of the complaints in the media
about no domestic agenda
lack of vision.
But I'm sure Tom Foley will improve.
I am disgusted by those who say the GOP is making political hay
Out of our victory in the Gulf.
And I've directed my very good friends
Colin Powell and Dick Cheney
Not to gloat about our brilliant battle plan.
And now, an update from the front lines.
Civil war, fighting and bloodshed have been reported. ///
But really, I'm not here to discuss the Democrats.
As I look around tonight, all I can say is "What recession?"
Women can be very effective in combat.
Just ask
HEAD TABLE
POTUS
Mr. and Mrs. Wood (publisher, Christian Science Monitor)
Budge Sperling and Mrs. Sperling (owner, CSM, and president of
Gridiron this year)
Speaker and Mrs. Foley
Robert and Mrs. Strauss
Justice Souter
Gov. Sununu
JAB III and Mrs. Baker
Secretary Brady
Darman
Gen. Scowcroft
Ron Brown
Attorney General Thornburgh
Rep. Michel
Gen. Vuono (Army Chief of Staff)
Secretary Mosbacher
Secretary Sullivan
Secretary Alexander
Secretary of the Air Force (I'll check name)
VP and Mrs. Quayle
FLOTUS
Speaker Foley
Gen. Powell
Justice Kennedy
Secretary Cheney
Secretary Lujan
Secretary Martin
Chairman Yuetter
Secretary Skinner
Secretary Derwinski
Gen. Grey (USMC Chief of Staff)
Ambassador Hills
Marlin
Burl Osborne (Dallas Morning News, Pres. of ASNE this year)
Then he put his money on
(Foreman? Bo Jackson?)
And now that the war is over,
maybe Wolf Blitzer can go back
to his real name.
At the height of the war, I asked Barbara
if she was scared at all.
"No," she said, "because the strongest, bravest man I know
is in charge. "
I said, "Gee, Bar, thanks."
She said, "I meant Norman Schwarzkopf."
I'm sure you're as impressed as I am with Norman Schwartzkopf's
incredible grit, determination and courage.
And that was just to get through
the interview with Barbara Walters.
I know many of you reporters have been roughing it lately.
But Arthur Kent says it wasn't so bad
staying at the Sheraton Riyadh.
In fact, he said the towels were so fluffy,
he could barely get his suitcase shut.
Grant/Dooley
March 21, 1991
3 p.m. A:GRIDIRON
PRESIDENTIAL REMARKS: GRIDIRON DINNER
CAPITOL HILTON
SATURDAY, MARCH 23, 1991
9:30 P.M.
((Acknowledgements))
After watching tonight's entertainment, I'll say one thing:
If I had a white flag, I'd wave it.
One thing's for sure:
After those last few skits, I don't have to warn people
to guard against euphoria.
In anticipation of seeing so many reporters here tonight,
The other day I asked Marlin for a list of the press corps,
Broken down by sex.
He said, "Actually, sir, booze is more of a problem."
Always good to see Bernie Shaw sitting at the table,
instead of under it.
Happy to see Ambassador Al-Sabah of Kuwait could join us tonight.
I understand that during his recent travels, Jim Baker
tried out some of tonight's jokes on him.
After hearing them, the Ambassador said,
"Don't you think we've suffered enough?"
I think the wimp factor has finally been put to rest. //
Jim Baker did support the use of force.
(Bob Strauss jokes to come)
The Washington Post reported this week that Marlin's on a diet.
Trying to lose his "Falstaffian figure," it said.
Apparently his doctor told him he'd have to cut out his cozy
little dinners for two.
Either that or find somebody to eat with.
Hey, this is fun. //
I haven't gotten this many laughs
since my last speech on domestic policy.
Sure, I'm aware of the complaints in the media
about no domestic agenda
...
lack of vision.
But I'm sure Bob Strauss can help the Democrats.
2
And now that the war is over,
maybe Wolf Blitzer can go back
to his real name.
I know many of you reporters have been roughing it lately.
But Arthur Kent says it wasn't so bad
staying at the Sheraton Riyadh.
In fact, he said the towels were so fluffy,
he could barely get his suitcase shut.
At the height of the war, I asked Barbara
if she was scared at all.
"No," she said, "because the strongest, bravest man I-know
is in charge.'
I said, "Gee, Bar, thanks."
She said, "I meant Norman Schwarzkopf."
I'm sure you're as impressed as I am with Norman Schwarzkopf's
incredible grit, determination and courage.
And that was just to get through
the interview with Barbara Walters.
*
All joking aside, tonight has been wonderful. Barbara and I
always enjoy ourselves at the Gridiron, but we found your tribute
to the troops to be especially moving. There was a line in it
that "through the fog of distant war shines the strength of their
devotion."
As I've said before, our soldiers, airmen, sailors, Marines
and Coast Guardsmen embodied the ideals of honor and bravery and
duty and country -- and were willing to sacrifice everything for
the sake of those simple words.
And so, if I may, I'd like to offer a toast to the brave men
and women who fought for freedom in the Persian Gulf. I raise my
glass: To those who liberated a nation abroad and transformed a
nation at home -- to our troops. # # #
3
OTHER POSSIBLE JOKES
It really hasn't been a good year for George Mitchell.
First, he voted against the use of force.
Then he put his money on
(George Foreman? Bo Jackson?)
Did you hear about those Iraqi soldiers who gave themselves up to
a jeep full of reporters? They asked for three things:
A hot meal, some cold water, and
(Arthur Kent's autograph?)
We suspected most Iraqis weren't too keen about fighting.
Our spy satellites spotted one of their tanks
with a bumper sticker that read
("I'd Rather Be Surrendering"?)
I understand that in order to build the kind of image "Stormin'
Norman" has, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has decided to go
by nicknames too. ///
But really, I don't think "Rollin' Colin" is appropriate. ///
They say weighlifting builds up the shoulder muscles, swimming
builds up the arms, running builds up the legs
Marlin, do you do a lot of horseback riding?
Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass-bottomed boats?
So they can see the Iraqi Air Force.
I held up pretty well through the "100 Day War,"
but I wasn't sure I'd make it through this 100 Hour Dinner.
It was very satisfying to see American soldiers handing out candy
and cigarettes to the Iraqis who gave themselves up.
In fact, 30,000 Russians tried to surrender.
Here's something I thought I'd never see.
People in Baghdad are so upset with Saddam,
for a change Iraqis are burning their own flag.
I think Colin Powell's been working too hard.
Just the other day, someone asked the General how high he thinks
the price of crude will go.
He said, "Playboy or Penthouse?"
Barbara was showing the kids the old family album, and George Jr.
pointed at a picture and asked, "Who's that good looking guy with
the handsome face and the big muscles?" Barbara smiled and said,
"That's your father, dear." He looked at me and said, "Then, who
is he?"