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Saints and Sinners Banquet, Washington, DC, May 3, 1967
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4526026
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document
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Saints and Sinners Banquet, Washington, DC, May 3, 1967
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Gerald R. Ford Congressional Papers
Speeches
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Wit and humor
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1967-05-31
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1967
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1967-05-01
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1967
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The original documents are located in Box D22, folder "Saints and Sinners Banquet,
Washington, DC, May 3, 1967" of the Ford Congressional Papers: Press Secretary and
Speech File at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library.
Copyright Notice
The copyright law of the United States (Title 17, United States Code) governs the making of
photocopies or other reproductions of copyrighted material. The Council donated to the United
States of America his copyrights in all of his unpublished writings in National Archives collections.
Works prepared by U.S. Government employees as part of their official duties are in the public
domain. The copyrights to materials written by other individuals or organizations are presumed to
remain with them. If you think any of the information displayed in the PDF is subject to a valid
copyright claim, please contact the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library.
Sautso
Dead Ronking Mayor
SAINTS E' E
Wath
SINNERS
next 7 him
BANQUET
WASH. D.C.
Well, I'm glad to see this is Ford country.
MAY 3,1967
I'm not surprised that somebody got me mixed up with Congressman William
D. Ford because it happens all the time. I do want to say, though, that even
1967
though Bill Ford is a Democrat, we have lots of things in common.
If you'll give me a week or so, I might think of something.
Well, for one thing, we're about the only two Fords in Washington that
haven't been called back to Michigan for safety modifications.
But you must never get overconfident in Congress.
Just the other day, I got a letter from an outraged constituent who said,
"Congressman Ford, you would sure be a big disappointment to your father,
Edsel."
I bucked that letter over to Edsel's real father, Bob McNamara.
My Pentagon spies say he threw it immediately into his credibility gap.
It certainly has been a high honor to be your Fall Guy. A high honor. It
reminds me of that fellow who had just been tarred and feathered who said as
he was being ridden out of town on a rail: "If it weren't for the high honor,
I'd just as soon walk."
This kind of fun a session is good medicine for egotists.
I suppose Washington has the largest concentration of egotists of any
capital in the world, except Paris, where there's only one.
You know how Ambrose Bierce defined an egotist.
"An egotist is a person of very low tastes, more interested in himself than
in me."
I don't know what brings LBJ to mind at this moment, but they say President
Johnson can't stand kidding, and never attends affairs like this where he's the
victim.
Well, I think we have to make an exception for our Commander in Chief,
FORD
What a terrible burden the President carries, day and night, all along!
GER
LIBRARY
Digitized from Box D22 of The Ford Congressional Papers: Press Secretary and Speech File at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library
-2-
How would you feel if your daughter were running around with George
Hamilton?
They say George Wallace doesn't go for joking either. He's deadly
serious about running for President with Lurleen for Vice President. That's
a clear case of bedfellows making strange politics.
But Bobby Kennedy, they tell me, is a real sport. He loves Kennedy jokes.
Providing the joke's on Teddy, of course. I suppose I shouldn't pick on
Bobby when his polls are down. When you drop behind Hubert in the Vice-
Presidential surveys, you don't need sarcasm, you need sympathy.
But these quick switches in the popularity polis prove you can never get
lazy in politics. Things change too fast.
For instance, nowadays a politican's greatest asset may be his hair-do.
Whenever Senator Dirksen and I hold a joint news conference, for instance, the
reporters write more about his coiffure than they do about my comments.
But it's Bobby Kennedy's haircut that defies description. He doesn't
really have long hair--He just has a short barber.
I've heard Bobby's hair-
style aptly described as Ha haystack in heat.
The emphasis on surplus hair in politics bothers some of us. About 40 of
my colleagues voted for "Mead Start" because they thought it came in a bottle.
I'm glad you mentioned the Warren Commission because I get a lot of
questions about that.
The District Attorney down in New Orleans keeps stirring up scandal, so
I checked up on Big Jim Garrison with some of my Louisiana friends.
"Oh, you mean Garrison, the Jolly Green Giant?" they said.
"Why do you call him the Jolly Green Giant?" I asked.
GERALD FORD LIBRARY
"Well," they said, "He's an expert on canning fruits."
Again, let me say thank you for the fun of being your Fall Guy. I really
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am very grateful. I don't agree with the old saying about "the higher they
are, the harder they fall." The way I like to look at it, "The harder you
fall, the higher you bounce."
Thank you.
FORD & LIBRARY DERALD