Ask the Scholar
Document scope · 1 page
Scholar
Ask about this object, its catalog metadata, its source description, or the page inventory.
For page-specific OCR and visual context, open one of the page chats.
Scholar Source Context
Document identity
localId
25466653
label
Gridiron 94
core
doc
dtoType
document
citationUrl
pageCount
1
Source metadata
id
25466653
sourceUrl
contentType
document
title
Gridiron 94
citationUrl
collections
Records of the First Lady's Office (Clinton Administration)
Karen Finney's Files
imageCount
1
hasImages
yes
source
import
hasTranscription
no
Source extras
naId
25466653
levelOfDescription
fileUnit
otherTitles
42-t-18546082-20150734S-002-017-2015
recordType
description
ocrSource
nara-archive
Single page context
seq
1
pageIndex
0
type
document
mediaId
3f5a41b69d6fd3e1
ocrText
'Mar. 18 '94 11:34
E.S. WRITERS
TEL 818-505-6611
P. 1
MADE
To: LISA CAPUTO FAX 202 456 2960
FROM: HARRY THOMASON
PAGES: 5, including this cover:
Dear Lisa:
Per Harry's request, we have completed a re-write
of the shetch for the President and First Lady
for this evenings Grin IRON event Please pass
it on to Mrs. Clinton A.S.A.P.
Sincerely yours -
thom Bray and
Michael Ross
( Producers, Evening Shade)
Mar. 18 '94 11:34
E.S. WRITERS
TEL 818-505-6611
P. 2
1.
INT. YUPPIE LIVING ROOM
Louise (Mrs. Clinton) is lying on the divan in her Armani,
fingering her strand of pearls worriedly, as Harry
(President Clinton) enters, carrying two cappucinos.
HARRY
Cappucino, Louise? The new chef got
the foam just like you like it.
LOUISE
No, thanks, Harry. After reading
the Clinton Health plan, I'm afraid
to drink caffeine.
HARRY
But Snookums, don't we have people
to read that for us?
LOUISE
I think that's what the White House
is counting on. Just look.
She goes behind the couch and wheels out a wheelbarrow piled
three feet high with loose papers.
HARRY
Is that the Clinton plan? Boy, for
environmentalists, they sure are
squandering a lot of the rain
forest.
.
Mar. 18 '94 11:35
E.S. WRITERS
TEL 818-505-6611
P. 3
2.
LOUISE
Hey, these are just the Cliff
Notes. Look at this.
She starts frantically tearing through the papers in the
cart and pulls one out and looks at it.
LOUISE
(READING) "Don't ask, don't tell?"
How did that get in here? (SHE
GRABS ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER). Oh,
here. On page three thousand,
seven hundred sixty four, it
says "Under the Clinton Healthcare
Plan, we could get sick."
SUPER: Page 3,764: "You could get sick."
HARRY
Great Scott! Those fiends!
LOUISE
Wait a minute. It gets worse.
Once again, she tears through the papers in the wheelbarrow.
LOUISE
on page twelve thousand nine
hundred and seventy eight...no,
wait that's the wrong page...
SUPER: Page 12,978: "No, that's the wrong page."
.
Mar. 18 '94 11:36
E.S. WRITERS
TEL 818-505-6611
P. 4
3.
LOUISE
Here. On page seven thousand eight
hundred and fifty-five it says that
eventually we are all going to die.
SUPER: Page 7,855: "Eventually we are all going to die."
HARRY
And they kept telling us that
change was good.
She nods gravely.
HARRY
Wait a minute. I'm paying
thirty-nine percent of my income in
taxes now, and I'm still going to
die? I won't have it!
LOUISE
Honey, this death thing affects
everyone. Even Bob Dole.
HARRY
Nah, I bet he'll talk his way out
of it.
LOUISE
Darling, I'm really scared.
HARRY
Me too. Hold me.
Harry and Louise turn to the camera.
Mar. 18 '94 11:36
E.S. WRITERS
TEL. 818-505-6611
P. 5
4.
HARRY AND LOUISE
There's got to be a better way.
SUPER: (AND ANNOUNCER) "Paid for by the coalition to scare
your pants off.
THE W II' E HOUSE
PRESS OFFICE OF THE FIRST LADY
PHONE: (202)456-2960
FAX: (202)456-7805
DATE:
TO:
Harry T.
FROM:
RECEIVER FAX:
Neel L.
RECEIVER PHONE:
NUMBER OF PAGES (INCLUDING COVER SHEET):
COMMENTS
"BILL & HILLARY"
REV 1
OPEN ON: MRS. CLINTON SITTING COZILY ON A COUCH IN THE
RESIDENCE OF THE WHITE HOUSE, CURLED UP WITH A BIG, FAT BOOK.
THE PRESIDENT WALKS IN, WEARING A HOG HAT AND HOLDING A
BASKETBALL. DISCLAIMER APPEARS ON BOTTOM OF SCREEN:
NOT PAID FOR BY THE COALITION FOR HEALTH INSURANCE PROFITS
HILLARY
How'd it go, honey?
BILL
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HILLARY
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BILL
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George
is a scrappy little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than
Bob Reich!
MRS. CLINTON RETURNS TO BOOK.
HILLARY
That's great, Sweetie.
BILL
Health care again?
HILLARY
I read through that book once more. All those details. We
need more. It's just not complicated enough.
PRESIDENT PUTS DOWN BASKETBALL, PICKS UP GOLF CLUB AND SWINGS
BILL
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
p. 1
HILLARY
Dan and Connie?
BILL
No, Harry and Louise.
HILLARY
.
(shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more
details.
BILL
There a plenty of details in there already. Like how it
covers the willies but not the heebie-jeebies.
HILLARY
(writing furiously)
No. I still think it can be more complex.
PRESIDENT PICKS UP BOOK AND STARTS FLIPPING THROUGH IT.
BILL
Hey, it says here on page three thousand seven hundred and
sixty-four that we could get sick?!
SUPER: Page 3,764 "you could get sick."
BILL (con't)
You mean under the Clinton plan, people are gonna get sick.
That's terrible.
HILLARY
Oh. The Unwellness Provision. That's nothing. Turn to page
forty four thousand, six hundred and eleven.
PRESIDENT FLIPS TO PAGE
BILL
"Eventually we all die!"
SUPER: p. 44,611 "eventually we all die."
p. 2
BILL (con't)
You mean after this plan passes, we are still gonna die!"
HILLARY
Yes. Ira insisted we keep that in.
BILL
(into camera)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black
###
At conclusion of video, a spotlight comes up on the First
Lady sitting on the dais. She is studying a copy of the
Health Security Act. She reads on for a short moment until
she looks up to realize she's been caught. She smiles
sheepishly, closes the book and smiles at the president.
The president continues his remarks.
p. 3
HARRY AND LOUISE
OPEN ON: MRS. CLINTON CURLED UP ON A COUCH, STUDYING THE HEALTH
PLAN BOOKLET. THE PRESIDENT AND CHELSEA ENTER. CHELSEA IS HOLDING
A BASKETBALL.
HILLARY
Good game, Harry?
BILL
Sure was, Louise.
CHELSEA
I let Dad win.
THE PRESIDENT LAUGHS GOOD NATUREDLY.
BILL
Time to hit the books, young lady.
CHELSEA
I'm outta here.
CHELSEA EXITS. THE PRESIDENT SLIDES ONTO THE COUCH NEXT TO HILLARY.
BILL
Gee, Louise, you look like you've seen a ghost.
HILLARY
Worse than that. I've just read the Clinton Health Care Reform plan.
BILL
Health care reform? What a great idea!
HILLARY
I know. But some of the details scare the bejeezus out of me.
BILL
Like what?
HILLARY
For example, it says here on page three thousand seven hundred and sixty-four that under the
Clinton Health Care plan we could get sick.
SUPER: page 3,764 "you could get sick"
BILL
That's terrible!
HILLARY
It gets worse. On page twelve thousand nine hundred and seventy-eight no wait, that's the
wrong page here. On page twenty-seven thousand eight hundred and fifty-five it says that
eventually we are all going to die.
SUPER: page 27,855 "eventually we all die"
BILL
Under the Clinton Health Plan?
SHE NODS GRAVELY.
BILL
You mean even with all those tons of new bureaucrats and taxes that'll bankrupt us, we're still
all going to die?
HILLARY
Even Leon Panetta.
BILL
Wow. That is scary! I've never been so frightened in all my life!
HILLARY
Me neither!
BILL AND HILLARY
(to camera, in unison)
There's got to be a better way.
SUPER: (AND ANNOUNCE)
V.O.
Paid for by the Coalition to Scare Your Pants Off.
"Bill & Hillary"
A "Harry & Louise" spoof starring the First Couple.
Open on HRC sitting cozily on a couch in the residence of the White House,
curled up with a big, fat book. BC walks in, wearing a Hog hat and holding a
basketball. Disclaimer appears on bottom of screen:
Not paid for by the Coalition for Health Insurance Profits
HRC:
How'd it go, honey?
BC:
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HRC:
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BC:
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George is a scrappy
little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than Bob Reich!
HRC:
That's great, Sweetie. (returns to her book)
BC:
Health care again?
HRC:
I read through that book once more. All those details. We need more.
It's just not complicated enough.
BC: (puts down basketball, picks up golf club and practices swing):
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
HRC:
Dan and Connie?
BC:
No, Harry and Louise.
HRC: (shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more details.
p.1
BC:
There a plenty of details in there already. Like how it covers the willies
but not the heebie-jeebies.
HRC: (writing furiously)
No. I still think it can more complex.
BC:
I don't know, honey. (looks at watch)
I gotta go. I got a 2 o'clock tee time. (leaves room)
HRC: (staring at paper)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black
###
At conclusion of video, a spotlight comes up on the First Lady sitting on the
dais. She is studying a copy of the Health Security Act. She reads on for a
short moment until she looks up to realize she's been caught. She smiles
sheepishly, closes the book and smiles at the president.
The president continues his remarks.
p.2
Version 2
"Bill & Hillary" campaign
A series of Harry & Louise spoofs starring the First Couple. Each spot is
separated by the clap of a camera slate.
take #1
Open on HRC sitting cozily on a couch in the residence of the White House,
curled up with a big, fat book. BC walks in, wearing a Hog hat and holding a
basketball. Disclaimer appears on bottom of screen:
Not paid for by the Coalition for Health Insurance Profits
HRC:
How'd it go, honey?
BC:
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HRC:
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BC:
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George is a scrappy
little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than Bob Reich!
HRC:
That's great, Sweetie. (returns to her book)
BC:
Reading the health care bill again?
HRC:
It's so well written.
HRC:
Can you believe what it says here? That every American ought to have
access to universal health care?
BC:
Universal health care? Won't that cut into the profits of the insurance
industry?
HRC:
And ruffle some feathers at the pharmaceutical companies!
p.3
BC:
I reckon' so.
HRC:
So what if these special interests run out of money?
BC:
Now there's a situation the Republicans will call a "crisis".
HRC:
It's just not right. There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black. Next scene opens with clap of a camera slate.
p.4
"Bill & Hillary"
take #2
HRC is sitting at a desk with a pad and an open copy of the health care
proposal. She is writing furiously. BC enters, holding a bucket of chicken
BC:
Health care again?
HRC:
I read through that book again. All those details. It's just not
complicated enough.
BC: (puts down basketball, picks up golf club and practices swing)
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
HRC:
Dan and Connie?
BC:
No, Harry and Louise.
HRC: (shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more details.
BC:
I don't know. (looks at watch)
I gotta go, honey. I got a 2 o'clock tee time.
HRC: (staring at paper)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black. Third (final) scene opens with clap of a camera slate.
p.5
"Bill & Hillary"
take #3
First couple sitting around the breakfast table.
HRC:
You know, I'm all for this health care reform stuff but have you read
the details?
HRC:
You mean things like the arbitrary limits? Like how it covers the
willies but not the heebee-jeebies?
HRC:
And how it limits access to universal health care only to people and
not their pets.
HRC:
Exactly!
BC:
Pretty scary, huh?
HRC:
There's got to be = better way!
BC:
I agree. We need someone to tell America the truth. To make
Congress understand. Someone who they trust and who's a powerful
public figure.
HRC:
If only we could think of someone.
BC:
I know! Why don't you do it, honey?
HRC:
Sweetie, that's awfully nice of you to ask. But that would keep from
doing what I came to Washington to do -- keeping house and baking
cookies!
(HRC puts on an apron and smiles)
p.6
BC:
I keep forgetting.
Fade to black.
Lights up at the Gridiron Dinner. Spotlight on HRC on stage wearing same
apron as the band strikes up. She walks down from stage with a large basket
full of fresh-baked cookies, dropping them off cheerily at each table. When
finished, she returns to her seat on dais, greated by the President.
###
p.7
"BILL & HILLARY"
REV 1
OPEN ON: MRS. CLINTON SITTING COZILY ON A COUCH IN THE
RESIDENCE OF THE WHITE HOUSE, CURLED UP WITH A BIG, FAT BOOK.
THE PRESIDENT WALKS IN, WEARING A HOG HAT AND HOLDING A
BASKETBALL. DISCLAIMER APPEARS ON BOTTOM OF SCREEN:
NOT PAID FOR BY THE COALITION FOR HEALTH INSURANCE PROFITS
HILLARY
How'd it go, honey?
BILL
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HILLARY
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BILL
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George
is a scrappy little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than
Bob Reich!
MRS. CLINTON RETURNS TO BOOK.
HILLARY
That's great, Sweetie.
BILL
Health care again?
HILLARY
I read through that book once more. All those details. We
need more. It's just not complicated enough.
PRESIDENT PUTS DOWN BASKETBALL, PICKS UP GOLF CLUB AND SWINGS
BILL
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
p. 1
HILLARY
Dan and Connie?
BILL
No, Harry and Louise.
HILLARY
.
(shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more
details.
BILL
There a plenty of details in there already. Like how it
covers the willies but not the heebie-jeebies.
HILLARY
(writing furiously)
No. I still think it can be more complex.
PRESIDENT PICKS UP BOOK AND STARTS FLIPPING THROUGH IT.
BILL
Hey, it says here on page three thousand seven hundred and
sixty-four that we could get sick?!
SUPER: Page 3,764 "you could get sick."
BILL (con't)
You mean under the Clinton plan, people are gonna get sick.
That's terrible.
HILLARY
Oh. The Unwellness Provision. That's nothing. Turn to page
forty four thousand, six hundred and eleven.
PRESIDENT FLIPS TO PAGE
BILL
"Eventually we all die!"
SUPER: p. 44,611 "eventually we all die."
p. 2
BILL (con't)
You mean after this plan passes, we are still gonna die!"
HILLARY
Yes. Ira insisted we keep that in.
BILL
(into camera)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black
###
At conclusion of video, a spotlight comes up on the First
Lady sitting on the dais. She is studying a copy of the
Health Security Act. She reads on for a short moment until
she looks up to realize she's been caught. She smiles
sheepishly, closes the book and smiles at the president.
The president continues his remarks.
p. 3
HARRY AND LOUISE
OPEN ON: MRS. CLINTON CURLED UP ON A COUCH, STUDYING THE HEALTH
PLAN BOOKLET. THE PRESIDENT AND CHELSEA ENTER. CHELSEA IS HOLDING
A BASKETBALL.
HILLARY
Good game, Harry?
BILL
Sure was, Louise.
CHELSEA
I let Dad win.
THE PRESIDENT LAUGHS GOOD NATUREDLY.
BILL
Time to hit the books, young lady.
CHELSEA
I'm outta here.
CHELSEA EXITS. THE PRESIDENT SLIDES ONTO THE COUCH NEXT TO HILLARY.
BILL
Gee, Louise, you look like you've seen a ghost.
HILLARY
Worse than that. I've just read the Clinton Health Care Reform plan.
BILL
Health care reform? What a great idea!
HILLARY
I know. But some of the details scare the bejeezus out of me.
BILL
Like what?
HILLARY
For example, it says here on page three thousand seven hundred and sixty-four that under the
Clinton Health Care plan we could get sick.
SUPER: page 3,764 "you could get sick"
BILL
That's terrible!
HILLARY
It gets worse. On page twelve thousand nine hundred and seventy-eight. no wait, that's the
wrong page here. On page twenty-seven thousand eight hundred and fifty-five it says that
eventually we are all going to die.
SUPER: page 27,855 "eventually we all die"
BILL
Under the Clinton Health Plan?
SHE NODS GRAVELY.
BILL
You mean even with all those tons of new bureaucrats and taxes that'll bankrupt us, we're still
all going to die?
HILLARY
Even Leon Panetta.
BILL
Wow. That is scary! I've never been so frightened in all my life!
HILLARY
Me neither!
BILL AND HILLARY
(to camera, in unison)
There's got to be a better way.
SUPER: (AND ANNOUNCE)
V.O.
Paid for by the Coalition to Scare Your Pants Off.
"Bill & Hillary"
A "Harry & Louise" spoof starring the First Couple.
Open on HRC sitting cozily on a couch in the residence of the White House,
curled up with a big, fat book. BC walks in, wearing a Hog hat and holding a
basketball. Disclaimer appears on bottom of screen:
Not paid for by the Coalition for Health Insurance Profits
HRC:
How'd it go, honey?
BC:
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HRC:
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BC:
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George is a scrappy
little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than Bob Reich!
HRC:
That's great, Sweetie. (returns to her book)
BC:
Health care again?
HRC:
I read through that book once more. All those details. We need more.
It's just not complicated enough.
BC: (puts down basketball, picks up golf club and practices swing):
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
HRC:
Dan and Connie?
BC:
No, Harry and Louise.
HRC: (shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more details.
p.1
BC:
There a plenty of details in there already. Like how it covers the willies
but not the heebie-jeebies.
HRC: (writing furiously)
No. I still think it can more complex.
BC:
I don't know, honey. (looks at watch)
I gotta go. I got a 2 o'clock tee time. (leaves room)
HRC: (staring at paper)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black
###
At conclusion of video, a spotlight comes up on the First Lady sitting on the
dais. She is studying a copy of the Health Security Act. She reads on for a
short moment until she looks up to realize she's been caught. She smiles
sheepishly, closes the book and smiles at the president.
The president continues his remarks.
p.2
Version 2
"Bill & Hillary" campaign
A series of Harry & Louise spoofs starring the First Couple. Each spot is
separated by the clap of a camera slate.
take #1
Open on HRC sitting cozily on a couch in the residence of the White House,
curled up with a big, fat book. BC walks in, wearing a Hog hat and holding a
basketball. Disclaimer appears on bottom of screen:
Not paid for by the Coalition for Health Insurance Profits
HRC:
How'd it go, honey?
BC:
25 to nuthin'. I love this game!
HRC:
Same teams? You and Gergen versus Mack and George?
BC:
You don't think they're letting us win, do ya. That George is a scrappy
little fella. And Mack plays tougher "D" than Bob Reich!
HRC:
That's great, Sweetie. (returns to her book)
BC:
Reading the health care bill again?
HRC:
It's so well written.
HRC:
Can you believe what it says here? That every American ought to have
access to universal health care?
BC:
Universal health care? Won't that cut into the profits of the insurance
industry?
HRC:
And ruffle some feathers at the pharmaceutical companies!
p.3
BC:
I reckon' so.
HRC:
So what if these special interests run out of money?
BC:
Now there's a situation the Republicans will call a "crisis".
HRC:
It's just not right. There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black. Next scene opens with clap of a camera slate.
p.4
"Bill & Hillary"
take #2
HRC is sitting at a desk with a pad and an open copy of the health care
proposal. She is writing furiously. BC enters, holding a bucket of chicken
BC:
Health care again?
HRC:
I read through that book again. All those details. It's just not
complicated enough.
BC: (puts down basketball, picks up golf club and practices swing)
Naw honey. I saw those two yuppies on television. They don't
understand the first thing about it!
HRC:
Dan and Connie?
BC:
No, Harry and Louise.
HRC: (shaking her head)
But real people are a lot smarter than that. It needs more details.
BC:
I don't know. (looks at watch)
I gotta go, honey. I got a 2 o'clock tee time.
HRC: (staring at paper)
There's got to be a better way!
Fade to black. Third (final) scene opens with clap of a camera slate.
p.5
"Bill & Hillary"
take #3
First couple sitting around the breakfast table.
HRC:
You know, I'm all for this health care reform stuff but have you read
the details?
HRC:
You mean things like the arbitrary limits? Like how it covers the
willies but not the heebee-jeebies?
HRC:
And how it limits access to universal health care only to people and
not their pets.
HRC:
Exactly!
BC:
Pretty scary, huh?
HRC:
There's got to be : - better way!
BC:
I agree. We need someone to tell America the truth. To make
Congress understand. Someone who they trust and who's a powerful
public figure.
HRC:
If only we could think of someone.
BC:
I know! Why don't you do it, honey?
HRC:
Sweetie, that's awfully nice of you to ask. But that would keep from
doing what I came to Washington to do -- keeping house and baking
cookies!
(HRC puts on an apron and smiles)
p.6
BC:
I keep forgetting.
Fade to black.
Lights up at the Gridiron Dinner. Spotlight on HRC on stage wearing same
apron as the band strikes up. She walks down from stage with a large basket
full of fresh-baked cookies, dropping them off cheerily at each table. When
finished, she returns to her seat on dais, greated by the President.
###
p.7