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Margaret “Maggie” Williams' Subject Files
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File Adoption
from
SECOND OPINION
press file
Maggielmelame.
Ann Lewis,
Diam Blain
BY ABIGAIL TRAFFORD
Murua Beny
Having Another Child
always wanted a lot of children. My high school
I
diseases. The infant death rate has plummeted since
yearbook ran the prediction under my
the turn of the century, which means women don't
photograph: "raising five children." After I
need to have so many pregnancies and deliveries to
gave birth to two daughters, I didn't think I'd
make sure one or two children survive to adulthood.
stop there. Even after I was divorced and in my
As Ventura pointed out: "People don't have to have
thirties, I thought I would have more children.
a whole lot of children."
Reality had no bearing on this yearning. Not having
Women today have greater choice in when they
a potential father for these imaginary progeny made
want to have children-and how many children they
no difference. I had an internal on-switch for living
bear. In 1990, more than 70 percent of married
in the mothering mode. The sense that I would have
women used some form of contraception. This is up
more children was a constant
from 56 percent in 1965,
in the background.
COMMENTARY
according to government
That is why it doesn't
reports. Married women are
surprise me that Hillary
more likely to use
Clinton let drop the comment that she might like to
contraception than single women, even though a
have another child. Add to her family. Give Chelsea
higher proportion of married women say they
a sibling. Adopt a baby boy. "We've thought about
expect to have children. (This disconnect helps
it," the First Lady told Time magazine. I don't know
explain why 40 percent of pregnancies are
how serious her intentions are. As she explained,
"unplanned" with a significant percentage occurring
she's a little busy right now.
among unmarried women.)
But I know reality doesn't matter much when it
Women can extend their child-bearing years, with
comes to the abstract longing to have another child.
test-tube baby techniques. To begin with, women
Most women simply lack an internal off-switch to
tend to be older before they start their families. In
take them out of the mothering mode.
1990, half the women who had their first child were
This is something many of us have trouble talking
24 or older. In the 1950s, at the height of the baby
about. While modern medicine has revolutionized
boom, the median age was 22. A growing fraction of
the reproductive aspect of motherhood, it has not
women are waiting until their thirties to start
changed the mothering switch inside the psyche.
families. A small number of women have babies in
While it has given women safe and effective means
their forties. Of 4 million births in 1993, 2,300 were
to control their fertility-sending birth rates to
born to women 45 and over.
historic lows in the industrialized world-it has not
Menopause is no longer a physiological barrier to
controlled the abstract yearning to mother.
having a child. You can be a Methusaleh Mom and
"You never lose it," said Florence P. Haseltine,
bear a child in your fifties or older thanks to
director of the Center for Population Research at
advanced reproductive techniques of egg donation,
the National Institute for Child Health and Human
laboratory fertilization and embryo implantation. (In
Development. "Hillary Clinton has a teenage
this procedure, a younger woman's egg is fertilized
daughter and she still wants another child. Mother
with a man's sperm in the laboratory; the embryo is
instincts conquer all!"
implanted in the older woman's uterus.)
See a baby in the street, hear a newborn's cry and
So there's no reason for Hillary Clinton or any
the yearning starts again. "It's still there," agreed
woman to give up the notion of having another child.
demographer Stephanie Ventura of the National
Not only is there the option of adoption, but modern
Center for Health Statistics, who's studied women's
médicine has blurred the cutoff date traditionally
attitudes toward fertility during the past three
associated with menopause.
decades. "There's a pretty stable interest in having a
When do women stop wanting to have more
child." Even among women in their early thirties who
children?
had never married, more than 70 percent said they
Perhaps we never do. I suspect we stay in the
expected to have a child, according to the Census
mothering mode, even though on average we give
Bureau. Among divorced or widowed women of the
birth to fewer children. It's just that the process of
same age, 91 percent wanted a child. Among married
procreation has become less a part of motherhood.
women, the figure was 93 percent.
Mothering is about having a stake in the next
What has changed radically in modern times is
generation. I remember the advice I received as a
not the maternal instinct, but the role of
young bride from an old friend of my
reproduction in people's lives. For example:
grandmother's: "You will have lots of
Women today have fewer babies than their
babies-mental and physical babies." I pressed her
great-great-grandmothers. According to the U.S.
on what she meant. Physical babies, she said, were
Census Bureau, the current lifetime birth rate is
the ones listed on a birth certificate. Mental babies
about two babies per woman. A century ago, it was
were the other acts of creation, big and small, in
four children per woman. Two hundred years ago it
love and friendship, in work and community. All
was seven children. The low birth rate in part
these "babies," she wisely told me, have to do with
reflects advances in health care during pregnancy
the creative instinct of mothering.
and delivery and better treatment for childhood
CONFORMA
H
SEALED
RECORDS
DO NOT OPEN!
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P.O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, ILLINOIS 60093
E
DUCATION
February 13, 1996
Margaret Williams
Chief of Staff to the First Lady
Office of the First Lady
Old Executive Office Building
Room 100
Washington, D. C. 20500
Dear Ms. Williams:
Enclosed please find two ICARE newsletters and an education/information packet given
to Illinois legislators by ICARE.
ICARE would like the First Lady to know that infant adoption reform should be focused
on the following philosophy: HOMES FOR CHILDREN NOT CHILDREN FOR
HOMES. Single mothers are vulnerable and should never be seen as a cure for infertility.
There should be no link between infertility and single motherhood.
Single mothers considering adoption should never be asked to sign papers anytime before
30 days after giving birth. Adoption is a lifelong process and decision. It is not possible
to know reality until it has happened. No one planning a wedding can know what the day
will really be like until it happens and so it goes with giving birth. All birthparents should
be granted a period of revocation once surrender documents have been signed. The
revocation period should at least equal the time adopting people have to change their
mind, which is until the adoption is final. Did you know 15% of adopting people return
children prior to finalization? Returns are made for all kinds of reasons. Skin and hair
color weren't quite what was imagined. The baby cried too much or was sick too often.
In case a child is returned by the adopting people, the biological mother should be notified
and given the opportunity to parent. Biological parents should be given notice in case of
death or serious injury/illness of their children.
Margaret Williams
February 13, 1996
Page Two
There should be a Birthparent Bill of Rights that all adoption facilitators must adhere to.
Biological parents must have a court appointed advocate during the surrender process. In
many cases the infant has a court appointed advocate. Why not the bio parents?
Adoption advertising is insulting and only shows the obvious class and race issues that
exist with infant adoption. Would we allow advertising for the purchase of an 8 year old?
Until attorneys are trained in issues of mental health and specifically infant adoption issues
such as loss of child, infertility, identity, and feelings of abandonment, there should be no
private adoptions.
All adopting people need to be aware, through proper counseling and advocacy, that
adoption is a lifelong process and open-ended. RECORDS SHOULD NEVER BE
SEALED and moreover adoption birth certificates should not include fabrications.
Sealing records violates the civil rights of an adoptee.
Think these ideas are way out? Look at current Australian and New Zealand adoption
laws? Look at California laws regarding relinquishment. Three states in the US have
completely open records. Read, "Wake Up Little Susie" by Rickie Solinger for a complete
history and understanding of infant adoption in the United States. Four countries in the
world do not seal adoption records. British Columbia, Canada just opened adoption
records. Listen and talk with members of the countless nationwide birthparent and adult
adoptee support groups.
Let's learn from the past. Listen to adult adoptees and birthparents who are living the
experience of adoption. Thank you for this opportunity to share with you our ideas for
change.
Sincerely,
Cindy Bhimani
Cindy Bhimani
Founder and Executive Director
ILLINOIS COUNCIL FOR ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
P.O. BOX 8393. NORTHFIELD. ILLINOIS 60093 708/446-1615
Our mission
CONTINUING EDUCATION
for Illinois Legislators
TABLE OF CONTENTS
I.
ICARE Looks at the Adoption Surrender Process
ICARE Mission Statement
ICARE Introductory Letter
ICARE Position Statement
FACT SHEET
Review of other State Surrender Procedures
State of Maine Recommended Legislation
Supporting Articles
II.
What is the Problem with Sealed Birth/Adoption Records?
Letter from ICARE
Letter from Professor Paul Sachdev
Open Records Petitions
State of New York Legislation
State of Tenessee Legislation
British Columbia, Canada Legislation
Supporting Article
III.
Search Movement
Directory of Illinois and National Search and Support Groups
Concerned United Birthparents Brochure
Supporting Article
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P. O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, ILLINOIS 60093
E
DUCATION
708/446-1615
MISSION STATEMENT
ICARE seeks to promote
honesty, openness and integrity in the adoption process through education, advocacy and
legislative reform. We believe that adoption law and practice should be child centered,
responsive to the needs of all family members, and be grounded in research, current
adoption literature and the experiences of those whose lives have been impacted by
adoption.
IN HONOR OF NOVEMBER
NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P. O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, ILLINOIS 60093
E
DUCATION
708/446-1615
November, 1995
Dear Illinois Legislator:
In keeping with the ICARE Mission Statement, we have assembled the enclosed
information to provide you with the most up-to-date research, literature and comments
available concerning adoption reform. ICARE plans to keep you informed by adding
updates to this folder throughout the year. It will be easy for you or your assistant to add
our mailings.
In addition, we are always interested in speaking with you about sponsoring adoption
reform legislation in Illinois. Our areas of interest include the surrender process and open
records. Along with written information, we can provide birthparents and adoptees for
hearings and interviews.
Thank you for your time and interest. If you have any questions or comments please feel
free to contact ICARE.
Sincerely,
Illinois Council for Adoption
Reform and Education (ICARE)
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P. O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, ILLINOIS 60093
E
DUCATION
November, 1995
ICARE POSITION STATEMENT
SURRENDER IN ILLINOIS
There would be fewer disputed adoptions in Illinois if women were not signing a
lifelong agreement, without counseling and legal advocacy, at the 73rd hour after giving
birth.
Unfortunately, Illinois allows surrenders to be signed, by mothers, 72 hours after birth and
before birth for fathers -- OR, before reality. Pregnant unmarried women are in crisis and
should not be asked or expected to sign their children away so soon after birth. The State
should not be interfering with parenthood by attempting to define who can be a mother
and when a woman can be a mother. Parents considering the surrender of their children
to adoption should be granted a revocation period at least equal to finalization of the
adoption proceedings.
1 Ilinois
P.O. Box 8393
C ouncil for
Northfield. IL 60093
A doption
R eform and
E ducation
ADOPTION FACTS
The Numbers
An estimated 50,000 children were adopted in the USA last year.
An estimated 30,000 U.S. youngsters are free for adoption and awaiting homes.
An estimated 2,000,000 persons in the USA are currently seeking to adopt.
Agency VS. Private Placement Adoptions
Private adoptions represent 70% of all adoptions in Illinois. No preplacement
investigations of prospective adoptive parents are required in private adoptions.
A private for-profit organization can be licensed to place children in adoptive homes.
There are over 40 adoption agencies in Illinois. Only 9 are members of the Child Welfare
League of America and/or accredited by the Council on Accreditation of Services for
Children and Families (COA).
It is legal in Illinois for prospective adoptive parents to advertise for babies to adopt. 18
states prohibit such advertising.
Open Adoption
An Open Adoption Agreement is not enforceable in court. If a mother selects her child's
adoptive parents, agrees to a certain level of contact, and the adoptive parents fail to abide
with the agreement, the birthparents have no recourse in the court.
Access to Records
Once an adoption is finalized, an amended birth certificate is issued, showing the adoptive
parents as the only parents. The original birth certificate and all adoption records are
permanently sealed, to be opened by court order only.
Only 3 states permit access to adoption records without a court order: Alaska, Alabama,
and Kansas.
-2-
21 states, including Illinois, have a passive Mutual Consent Registry where adoptees and
birthparents can register for a possible match. The state or agency will facilitate a meeting.
There is no requirement to inform the public of the availability of a registry. The Illinois
Registry was established in 1985 and has registered 545 adoptees and 474 birthmothers,
facilitating only 17 reunions in 10 years.
11 states, including Illinois, provide for a Confidential Intermediary System to locate
birthparents to inquire about consent to release identifying information. Illinois' system
requires a court order to participate.
The Relinquishment Process
Mothers may relinquish their parental rights only 72 hours after birth of the child. Once
signed, the relinquishment is final and irrevocable. (Only 12 states provide no recision
rights to birthmothers.)
There is no provision in Illinois law to require counseling for the birthmother prior to
signing relinquishment documents.
Fathers can relinquish their parental rights at any time before or at 72 hours after the child
is born.
The consent or surrender of a minor parent is not voidable because that parent is a minor.
If the adoption does not go through, the court has the right to conduct a hearing to
determine custody of the child. There is no requirement to notify the birthparents).
Notification to fathers about a proposed adoption is not required, unless they have
registered with the Putative Father Registry within 30 days of the child's birth, and
commenced a paternity suit within 30 days after registering. The only exception to this
occurs when the father was actively and openly involved in the child's birth/life.
The length of time to finalize an adoption is approximately 6 months, during which time
the adoptive parents can change their mind about adoption and return the child to the
adoption arranger. No such provision is available for birthparents.
Adoptive parents are required to be given background and medical information on
birthparents no later than the date the child is placed in their home. No such information is
required to be provided to birthparents about adoptive parents, but Agencies generally do
provide this information to birthparents upon request.
ILLINOIS COUNCIL FOR ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION
STATE BY STATE SURRENDER RE-CAP
ALABAMA
Consent may be signed before birth but Mom has 5 days after she signs Consent to
Adoption or after the birth of her child to withdraw her Consent.
ALASKA
Consent may be signed anytime after the birth of her child but once the Consent is
signed the Mom has 10 days to withdraw her Consent.
ARIZONA
Consent may be signed 72 hours after the birth of her child and is irrevocable.
ARKANSAS
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and once the Consent is signed the
Mom has 10 days to withdraw her Consent.
CALIFORNIA
For private adoptions (85%), a Mom may withdraw her Consent up to 120 days
after signing.
COLORADO
Consent may be signed anytime after birth. The Mom must receive counseling
from a state adoption office or a licensed adoption agency. The Consent may be
withdrawn anytime before the Order of Relinquishment is entered in Court.
CONNECTICUT
"Petition to Terminate Parental Rights" may be signed 48 hours after birth.
Parental rights are not severed until approximately 4 weeks after signature. Mom is
required to receive counseling and is appointed a guardian ad litem, usually an attorney.
DELAWARE
Consent may be signed anytime after birth. The Consent and Petition are entered
in Court approximately 60 days after filing. From the point of Court, the Mom has
another 60 days to withdraw her Consent.
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA
For private adoptions (65%), the Mom may sign the Consent to surrender anytime
after the birth of her child. The Consent is considered irrevocable. In agency adoptions,
the Mom may not sign the Consent prior to 72 hours after the birth of her child.
Counseling is mandatory. The Mom has 10 days after the relinquishment is signed to
withdraw her Consent by written request.
FLORIDA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and is irrevocable.
GEORGIA
Consent may be signed 24 hours after the birth and the Mom has 10 days to
withdraw her Consent.
HAWAII
For private adoptions, the Mom may sign the Consent anytime after the birth of
her child and the Consent is irrevocable. For agency adoptions, the Consent may be
signed anytime after birth and until the child is placed with adopting people the Consent
may be withdrawn.
IDAHO
Consent may be signed anytime after 72 hours from birth and the Consent is
irrevocable.
ILLINOIS
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and is irrevocable.
INDIANA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Consent may be withdrawn
anytime before the Court finalization of the adoption (approximately 3 months).
IOWA
Consent may be signed anytime after 72 hours from birth and the Mom has 96
hours to withdraw her Consent.
KANSAS
Consent may be signed anytime after 12 hours from birth and the Consent is
irrevocable.
KENTUCKY
Consent cannot be signed prior to 5 days after birth and the Consent may be
withdrawn anytime until the adoption is finalized in Court (6 -8 months).
LOUISIANA
Surrender is signed no sooner than 5 days after the birthdate of her child and the
Surrender is irrevocable.
MAINE
Surrender or Release can be signed anytime after birth and the either document can
be withdrawn anytime before the adoption is finalized (6 - 12 months).
MARYLAND
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Mom has an automatic 30 days
to withdraw her Consent.
MASSACHUSETTS
Consent may be signed no sooner than 4 days after birth and the Consent is
irrevocable.
MICHIGAN
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and after a Judge affirms the consent
document the Mom has 20 days to withdraw but only by proving fraud or duress.
MINNESOTA
For private adoptions (80%) a Consent may be signed anytime after birth and once
the Consent is signed the Mom has an automatic 10 days to withdraw.
MISSISSIPPI
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth. No statutory law exists governing the
possible withdrawal.
MISSOURI
Consent may be signed 48 hours after birth and before the Consent is entered in
Court, the Mom has the automatic right to withdraw her Consent.
MONTANA
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and the Consent can only be withdrawn
by the Mom proving to the Court that the child's best interest would be served by being
with her.
NEBRASKA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and is irrevocable.
NEVADA
For private adoptions, full identities must be shared by law. Consent may be
signed 72 hours after birth.
NEW HAMPSHIRE
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and is irrevocable.
NEW JERSEY
For private adoptions, the Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Mom
has an automatic right to withdraw her Consent anytime until the preliminary court
hearing (2 - 3 months). For agency adoptions, the Consent may be signed 72 hours after
birth and is irrevocable.
NEW MEXICO
Consent may be signed 48 hours after birth and must be signed before a Judge and
is irrevocable.
NEW YORK
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and may be withdrawn anytime up to 45
days from the date of signature with conditions.
NORTH CAROLINA
It is required that adopting people and the Mom share identities. The Mom has an
automatic right to withdraw her Consent for a period of 30 days after signing.
NORTH DAKOTA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth but will not be heard in Court before 48
hours after birth and at that point the Consent is irrevocable.
OHIO
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and the Mom must appear in Court.
When the Mom is in Court the Consent is deemed irrevocable.
OKLAHOMA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Mom has 30 days to withdraw
her Consent.
OREGON
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Mom has an automatic right to
withdraw her Consent until the adoption is final (7 months).
PENNSYLVANIA
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and the Mom has an automatic right to
withdraw her Consent until it has been entered in Court (40-90 days).
RHODE ISLAND
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Consent is NOT enforceable for
approximately 3 months.
SOUTH CAROLINA
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and is irrevocable.
SOUTH DAKOTA
Consent may be signed 5 days after birth and the Mom must appear in Court for
the hearing that follows. At the Court hearing the Consent is irrevocable.
TENNESSEE
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and may be withdrawn within 15 days
from signing.
TEXAS
For private adoptions, the Consent may be signed anytime after birth and usually
the Mom has the right to withdraw depending on whatever time period is specified. In
agency adoptions the Consent is irrevocable upon execution.
UTAH
Consent may be signed 48 hours after birth, before a Judge, and the Consent is
irrevocable.
VERMONT
Consent may be signed anytime after birth, before a Judge and the Mom has an
automatic right to withdraw until the Consent is filed with the Court in a hearing (10
days).
VIRGINIA
Consent may be signed 10 days after birth and the Mom has an additional 15 days
after signing to automatically withdraw.
WASHINGTON
Consent may be signed before or after birth and the Mom may withdraw up to
Court filing (not before 48 hours after birth).
WEST VIRGINIA
Consent may be signed 72 hours after birth and the Mom may withdraw the
Consent up to 20 days from signing unless otherwise stated.
WISCONSIN
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and the Mom may withdraw the
Consent up to her Court appearance (1 - 4 weeks after birth).
WYOMING
Consent may be signed anytime after birth and is irrevocable.
Source: Adopting in America, Randall B. Hicks, 1993, WordSlinger Press, P. O. Box 53,
Sun City, CA 92586-9998.
ADOPTION
A LIFE LONG PROCESS
REPORT OF THE ADOPTION TASK FORCE
MAINE DEPARTMENT OF HUMAN SERVICES
MARCH 1989
John R. McKernan Jr.
Governor
NYWOH SERVICES OF DEPARTMENT
Rollin Ives
Commissioner
RECOMMENDATIONS FOR CHANGES
IN THE ADOPTION LAW AND
RELATED PROCEDURES
Recommendation 21:
That neither a consent nor a surrender and release shall be executed
prior to six weeks following a baby's birth, during which time a
licensed individual or agency would have to provide to the court
certification that counseling was provided or offered and refused.
The consent or surrender and release shall be in a two-step process
where the judge will explain the effect of the consent or surrender
and release at least three days before the parent executes the consent
or surrender and release. Before accepting the parent's consent or
surrender and release the judge shall determine that the consent or
surrender and release is willingly and knowledgeably given.
Recommendation 22:
That the certification of counseling and the acceptance of the consent
or surrender and release may be done in a court of comparable
jurisdiction in another state.
Recommendation 23:
That consent is final only for the adoption consented to, and, 1f that
adoption is not finalized within eighteen months, the court where the
petition was filed will hold a hearing as to the future of the child.
(See recommendations 41 and 42.)
Recommendation 24:
That when a surrender and release and/or consent for adoption is
signed, a copy shall be given to the surrendering party along with a
statement explaining the importance of keeping the court informed of
current name and address.
Recommendation 25:
That a birthmother's consent for adoption or surrender and release
will not be final until the birthfather's consent, surrender and
release or termination of his rights has been decided by the probate
court.
Recommendation 26:
That all putative fathers who have not waived notice, joined the birth
mother in a consent or surrender and release, or had their parental
rights terminated, will be given notice in accordance with Maine Rules
of Civil Procedure. If a birthmother doesn't know who the birthfather
is, publication of notice to the unknown birth father shall be done in
the area where the petition is filed and/or where the birthmother
became pregnant, or where the putative father is most likely to be
located, before the court accepts the birth mother's consent or
surrender and release. The birth mother's and baby's names will be
used in the notice.
IF YOU THINK YOU ARE PREGNANT: FINDING OUT AND DECIDING WHAT TO DO
Adoption Abuse
not supportive are easy prey to the social work-
by Carole Anderson and Lee Campbell, with Mary
ers, attorneys, and doctors who arrange adop-
Anne Cohen. Reprinted from Womenwise, Vol.
tions and collect placement fees of as much as
5, No. 3, Fall 1983.
$30,000 for healthy white infants.
Most CUB members surrendered children at a
You may never have heard the term birth-
mothers before, but we are the mothers who have
time when they were unaware of financial help
surrendered children to adoption. We have joined
that would have enabled them to keep their chil-
together to form a national, non-profit group
dren, or when such help did not exist. Most en-
called Concerned United Birthparents, Inc. (CUB).
countered social workers who failed to give
information about alternatives that could have
We are the living proof of why all feminists must
oppose legislation that now threatens to destroy
aided mothers to keep their families together.
the gains made for women in the past few years.
Children of single parents, it was said, would be
Most people assume that mothers who surren-
ridiculed at school as bastards, or grow up to be
der their babies to adoption do so because they
homosexual because they lacked a father image,
don't want their children. Or they assume that
or would live in poverty forever because no de-
mothers choose adoption as a means of providing
cent man would marry their mother. Through
more for their children than they could offer. In
the 1960's most schools expelled pregnant stu-
our view, these assumptions are dangerously
dents, thus denying them a chance to graduate.
simplistic.
And day care opportunities were rare even if a
In a male-dominated society, a woman's
mother could find a job that would support her
expression of sexuality is permitted only within
and her child. Denied education, denied jobs and
strict bounds. Traditionally, only when she is
denied any knowledge of financial assistance, few
married is sexual activity considered legitimate;
had any option but to surrender their children.
indeed, it is expected at a husband's whim as his
right.
The loss of a child to adoption is a unique and
For thousands of years men have sought to con-
unnatural one. Unlike death, which is final,
trol women's sexuality and fertility. Out-of-
adoption creates a loss that is renewed daily, as
wedlock pregnancies have historically merited
each day is a new day of trying to live without
harsh punishment. In some cultures, that pun-
the surrendered child whose life continues sep-
ishment is even death. An unmarried pregnant
arately. It is a limbo loss, in which there are
woman is still considered, in some Moslem coun-
constant questions but no answers. Is my child
tries, to be such a stain on the family's honor
well or ill? Happy or miserable? Alive or dead?
that it can be cleansed only through the woman's
death, and the murderer is rarely prosecuted.
For ten years I tied up all my emotional energy
America's preferred punishment appears more
in trying to pretend it never happened, and I almost
civilized. We favor removal of the evidence: be-
believed it. I had to stay emotionally detached to
fore birth, in maternity homes, segregated edu-
survive. I was afraid to face all this pain, but I was
cational programs, or away at Aunt Sally's; after
numbing myself to everything else in life too.
birth, by adoption. When these preferences are
ignored, we mount subtle but effective cam-
Part of me died. I feel empty inside, I'm afraid
paigns to condemn the perpetrators. We sym-
to make decisions about anything, and I can't trust
pathize with infertility among married couples
anyone. I was told so many lies. I can't let anyone
in the same breath that we bemoan the so-called
get close to me, especially men, and I cringe if a
man touches me.
"unwed teenage pregnancy epidemic," as though
the issues are related. We proclaim that "adop-
tion builds families" without reference to the fe-
When I was eighteen I believed what the social
male-headed families adoption has separated, as
worker said about adoptive couples. That they were
though they never existed. We begrudge the sub-
screened so they were totally perfect parents who
sidies that help economically deficient single-
had everything my child needed, and I had nothing.
parent families to remain together, while we
Now I know adoptive parents are the same as every-
uncomplainingly subsidize foster care and adop-
one else. They're not perfect. I feel cheated. Why
tion.
did I have to compete with other people for the right
Most younger single mothers have little knowl-
to raise my own child?
edge of rights. They are accustomed to following
the advice of parents, teachers, and other au-
Forcing me to surrender my child was an ulti-
thority figures. Frightened, vulnerable, and eco-
mate act of rape. I wish that when they were through
nomically dependent, mothers whose parents are
with me, they had put a bullet in my head so I
wouldn't have to live in such anguish.
CONTROLLING OUR FERTILITY
When a mother surrenders her child, she is
feat the Equal Rights Amendment and advances
allowed no options in the terms of that surrender.
for women's rights, it is women who have fought
She has no right to participate in selecting who
to continue adoption abuse.
will raise her child, to know anything about her
Reflecting the changes brought about by the
child's adoptive parents, to know anything about
women's movement, in the recent past single
her child's health or welfare. She has no right to
mothers have succumbed less frequently to
choose whether or not she wishes to be anony-
adoption abuse. But know these things: Although
mous to the adoptive parents or to her child, even
only 3 percent of mothers under twenty now
after her child is an adult. She has no right to
choose adoption, 43 percent of 125 cities with a
legal counsel, no right to be informed of alter-
population of 100,000 or more offer adoption ser-
natives, no right to copies of information about
vices. The clientele being served today are infer-
her. She has no right to her child's original birth
tile couples who, unwilling to adopt the many
certificate, nor to the falsified version that will
older or special-needs children who are avail-
later be substituted to state that the adoptive
able, wait in frustration on ever-lengthening lists
parents gave birth. She has no right to know the
for healthy, white infants. Joining agency work-
legal process involved in adoption. She even has
ers' and infertile couples' demand for adoptable
no right to receive a copy of the surrender doc-
babies are anti-choice proponents who blithely
ument that separates her child from her.
tout adoption as the answer to abortion.
Social workers defend this process by claiming
In response to this burgeoning undercurrent
that adoption is a positive choice for a young
are Right-Wing-sponsored legislation and pro-
woman with an unplanned pregnancy since it
grams that are dangerous to single-parent fam-
permits the mother to correct her mistake. They
ilies. One is the Adolescent Family Life bill which
insist that the mother's pain is temporary, and
asserts that "adoption is a positive option for
that she will be able to begin a new life. That
unmarried pregnant adolescents," and seeks an
same child who was described as a burden to the
allocation of $30 million for three years for dem-
mother is transformed into a blessing for a mar-
onstration projects. Under the act's provisions,
ried couple able to pay a placement fee.
teens are to be advised not to be sexually active,
Many adoptive mothers, too, have sought to
but if they must, to get parental consent for con-
keep birthmothers in the role of brood mares.
traceptive use. If these provisions are ignored,
While some adoptive mothers have joined in
then the mothers are to be "encouraged" to sep-
CUB's efforts, others loudly proclaim that they
arate forever from their children by adoption.
alone are really mothers, that birthmothers do
The Family Protection Act is evidence of fur-
not deserve to know of their children's welfare,
ther bias. It would permit a $1,000 tax exemption
that God gave the child to adoptive parents, or
for the year in which a child is born or adopted,
that birthmothers should be grateful to adoptive
but only if the parents are married. The tax ex-
parents for having saved their children from the
emption is increased to $3,000 for the adoption
stigma of illegitimacy. These adoptive parents
of a bi-racial or handicapped child. Thus a single
demand that birthmothers respect adoptive par-
mother raising her child could not receive the
ents' efforts, while they ignore birthmothers' sac-
tax consideration to which her married counter-
rifices.
parts are entitled.
These women, too, are victims. Many have re-
The potential abuse of a Human Life Amend-
ported feelings of inadequacy and insecurity as
ment is obvious to feminists everywhere. Sup-
a result of their inability to bear children of their
porters of HLA are often eloquent in their defense
own. Made by our society to feel their value as
of the fertilized egg but are seldom willing to aid
women depended on their ability to bear chil-
the woman whose body nourishes it.
dren, some feel they have to adopt babies and
The Family Protection Act, Adolescent Family
act as if they had borne them. The final proof of
Life bill, and Human Life Amendment attempt
motherhood-the child's birth certificate-is
to impose an official governmental view of mo-
permanently sealed, and a false one issued to
rality on women, especially those who are most
reinforce the idea that birth alone confers moth-
impressionable and least powerful because of
erhood.
their youth. They attempt to punish the "im-
Feminists have been slow to recognize adop-
moral" by forcing them to give birth and then
tion's exploitation of their sisters. Perhaps one
depriving them of their children.
reason is that women have been not only the
Unless we exert the same effort in this area of
victims of adoption abuse but also its chief per-
reproductive rights as we do in others, single-
petrators and beneficiaries. Just as it is women
parent families will be unnecessarily separated
like Phyllis Schlafly who have led efforts to de-
by adoption in the same manner they have al-
288
IF YOU THINK YOU ARE PREGNANT: FINDING OUT AND DECIDING WHAT TO DO
ways been. Adoption is especially susceptible to
rights of the young women of the future who may
exploitation because there are no laws granting
be threatened with our fate. Our lives are testi-
rights to birthmothers, no system of accounta-
mony to the devastating effects of the oppression
bility for agency workers, and no recognition
of women that is our mutual foe. Help us, and
among lay people of the conflict of interest that
let us help you, in our common cause. We are
inevitably arises when counselling centers and
your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, per-
maternity homes double as adoption agencies.
haps even yourselves.
Despite claims by the New Right to the con-
trary, adoption as it is traditionally practiced is
Lee Campbell is a founder and President of
not the panacea for all of society's ills. The un-
CUB. Carole Anderson is Vice President for Pub-
necessary separation of mothers and children is
lic Education for CUB and the editor of The Com-
a cruel, but regrettably usual, punishment that
municator, CUB's monthly newsletter. Mary Anne
can last a lifetime.
Cohen is a poet, feminist and an original member
A lifetime of suffering is too much to demand
of CUB.
for any woman's expression of her sexuality. Even
Concerned United Birthparents, Inc., is a na-
if contraception is obtainable, no fertile woman
tional organization with forty branches through-
is ever safe from the possibility of unintended
out the U.S. For more information about this
pregnancy, since there is no method that is 100%
organization or to arrange for presentations, write
reliable. Even abstinence has its failures since
CUB National Headquarters, 595 Central Ave.,
rape exists.
Dover, NH 03820.
We birthmothers are openly fighting for the
Guest Editorial
Exploitation in the 90's: Alive & Well
Michelle Renaud, Cambridge MA
I am writing this Editorial as a step towards making sure
Staheli knew I wanted to keep my baby. When I
what happened to me never happens to another woman
asked what kind of help was available if I decided to
again. This incident did not take place in 1946, 1959,
parent my child, he looked at the carpet, stared at
1968 or during the '70s. It happened one year ago - in
some spot there, then slowly raised his eyes and said,
1993. Although many new adoptive parents would have
"Welfare". He delivered the word as though it was a
you believe the coercion of yesteryear is no longer the
level below which no decent human being would
plight and threat of birth mothers today
that, indeed,
stoop. Welfare. That was it. He dropped the word
"things have changed", exploitation of pregnant young
like a ten-ton truck, letting his silence and penetrating
women today is as rampant as it was in by-gone eras.
eye-contact speak far louder than any words. 'Wel-
The "facilitators" have simply mastered their methods of
fare'; it was the final and irrevocable alternative.
executing exploitative strategies.
A professional response might have been, "Well,
you can apply for benefits through Welfare, and you
might have to continue that for a couple years, but
I was 19, my marriage was in a rapidly disinte-
you're a capable woman", but he did not. A responsi-
grating state, and I was pregnant. The potential of
ble, professional social worker would have informed
homelessness was a viable alternative moving ever
me that attending a community college was viable
closer to reality. Efforts to find a job were for naught.
and, in a few years, I would have a marketable skill
One look at my young age and obvious pregnancy left
which would enable me to support both of us if my
potential employers repeating a litany of "no" with
husband didn't come through with support. He did
such consistency, it sounded like a rehearsed novena.
not.
The law was on my side for maternity leave, and they
In part (3), section 5.04 of the Office For Children
knew it - regardless of how I pleaded my intent to be
regulations it states: "Information on Alternatives to
a responsible employee.
Adoption. The licensee shall provide to birth parent/s
In desperation I sought help for my marriage, to
written information regarding" alternative plans for
thwart homelessness, to get help of some kind some-
their child." Staheli did nothing of the kind. Instead
where. I chose the Latter Day Saints Social Services
he said, "When the unwed parents are unable or un-
(LDS) believing they had many "social services" avail-
willing to marry, they should be encouraged to place
able and would be able to provide alternatives, if not
the child for adoption, preferably through LDS Social
the means for solutions, to the crisises I then faced.
Services". (This official LDS policy has been published
LDS agency director Don Staheli listened. He
twice in the Church's magazine The Ensign in June
offered no marriage counseling to help us work
1994 and September 1994. In the latter case, the policy
through the existing problems or salvage the marriage.
appeared in an article entitled "Advice For Un-Wed
They would, he said, find housing for me only if I
Parents" which showcased one birth mother. The
made an adoption plan. No mention was made of a
author praised her for relinquishing her parental
shelter. I didn't know (then) there were safe shelters
rights, and criticized her extended family for offering
in the area for women in my position. I capitulated.
her alternatives, "most of it consisting of uninformed,
Staheli was not only the social worker at LDS, but
emotional considerations".)
the director for the New England Agency which facili-
What Don Staheli did was consciously choose
tates adoptions in Massachusetts, New Hampshire,
church policy, thus deigning it to supersede existing
Maine, Vermont and Connecticut.
Massachusetts state law. In so doing he violated state
Staheli sent me to a remote suburb. I was allowed
law as well as denied my Human Rights as set forth in
to leave the "host home" only to attend church or keep
the Constitution. He offered no marriage counseling,
doctor appointments. I was isolated, trapped and
no written or verbal alternatives to adoption, no infor-
knew of no other alternative. Were there any books
mation about legal resources, no advocacy, and no
on adoption?, I asked. Don said he didn't know of
post-relinquishment counseling.
any. Were there other birth mothers I could talk to?
When, a year ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby
Don said there weren't any in the area.
Volume IV, No. 6
3
People Searching News
boy, I requested he room-in with me. I breast-fed him
began researching the law, OFC regulations - asking
for five days.
questions, making discoveries. And then 1 called the
The day before Staheli brought the relinquishment
authorities who began investigating LDS SS.
papers for my signature, he "prepped" me over the
Staheli ignored his responsibility to tel! me places
phone twice saying, "Now the papers are long and
like MA Rehab & Employment Resources, Inc fund
involved. The language is harsh, but we will just have
low-income people in training programs (like the one I
to put up with that and get through them". On the
am in now). He failed to tell me the Communities
day of the signing, Staheli - instead of formally re-
Development Corporations existed or that it creates
viewing the document with me until he was sure I
and implements programs with goals like "Futures for
understood what I was expected to sign, criticized the
Young Parents". He failed to tell me Day Care Centers
harsh language in the papers clearly imparting the
exist and offer sliding-fee scales, and that some em-
message, 'Don't pay any attention to it'.
ployment offices like MassJobs offer transportation
The Massachusetts General Law Annotated states:
reimbursement. He had a responsibility to tell me the
"The surrender must be signed in the presence of a
WIC program existed, and he did not.
Notary Public and two witnesses, one of whom must
Mine is hardly an isolated case. On August 26,
be of the [birth parent/s] choosing." To my utter hu-
1994 the Boston Globe published the following: "A
miliation and certainly violating my right of privacy
single mother from Watertown claims Mitt Romney
and confidentiality, Staheli brought in his wife (whom
(Republican candidate for the MA senate) warned her
I'd never met) as one witness. By phone he then re-
a decade ago that she faced excommunication from the
quested a member of my "host home" appear as the
Mormon Church if she failed to follow her advice to
second witness. The latter thoroughly upset me, for
give her newborn baby up for adoption through a
they were the last people I wanted to see at a time that
Church agency [LDS]." The woman told her story
was at once the most traumatic and emotionally con-
because, "I was personally offended when he did it to
fusing of my life. Much as I absolutely did not want
me, but now we are talking about a whole constituen-
them present, without an advocate available I was
cy of people he is going to affect." She concluded the
denied knowing what my rights were and felt I had no
interview with, "If there is a God, I think the last thing
'say' in the matter.
He would have wanted is for me to give my son away
Mid-way through the signing, I got up and left the
just on somebody else's decision." The article was
room for the nursery to see my son one more time.
wrapped around a photograph of this mother and the
Staheli insisted on going with me, denying me those
child she refused to place for adoption.
few precious, final minutes alone with my son. Stahe-
I wrote Don Staheli a letter. He has not respond-
li's concern: "Close the deal."
ed. He took a better job as Secretary to the 1st Presi-
I went to LDS Social Services for guidance and
dency of the LDS Church. Recently I discovered Don
direction. They took advantage of my vulnerability,
Staheli was not licensed in Massachusetts as a social
violated my rights, and gave me guilt. I placed blind
worker. He left the state days before it was mandato-
trust in Don Staheli to provide me with sufficient in-
ry to file his papers for licensing.
formation to make an informed decision about my
As of this date, the New England Agency has no
future. Staheli honored my trust by lying by omission,
director; they have a single social worker covering
and left me feeling robbed and raped.
their five-state area.
Once the relinquishment papers were signed,
Not long after my letter to Don was written, one
Staheli dropped me like "a hot potato". In an age
of the LDS Commissioners for Social Services (Don's
where the need for post-adoption counseling is recoge
supervisor) came to see me. It struck me as rather
nized nationwide by competent social workers, I got
remarkable he had come all the way from Salt Lake
none. I left the hospital empty-handed, spiraling into
City. To see me?, I asked. He fidgeted, looked at the
shock by the trauma of having lost my child, and then
other man with him, stammered and said he was there
left alone to grieve a loss which is the equivalent (or
"for lots of reasons". Sure he was. The agency was
worse) of losing a child to death.
being investigated, and I stirred the pot. His patroniz-
Only on my return to Boston following my son's
ing demeanor was made worse by defending Don
birth did I finally learn for the first time of the wealth
Staheli by telling me Don "did the right thing".
of supportive alternatives and services available to
Was it also 'the right thing' to tell a couple who
pregnant teens and young adults who want to parent
had recently adopted a child, "If you want to adopt
their children. It was a "Satisfaction Survey" Staheli
another child, and you're willing to take a mixed baby,
presented to me - after the adoption was final - that
we'll give it to you for half-price"? I didn't bother to
clued me in to the fact I had any rights, he had had
ask the Commissioner the question. 1 couldn't bear
responsibilities, and that neither were addressed.
I
listening to his answer. I am disgusted and disheartened.
People Searching News
4
Volume IV, No. 6
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P. O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, ILLINOIS 60093
E
DUCATION
November, 1995
Dear Illinois Legislator:
The enclosed Petitions represent only the beginnings of a statewide campaign
designed to heighten public awareness and gain support for opening sealed
birth/adoption records in Illinois. Many states have already opened sealed
birth/adoption records. This past year, Tennessee and British Columbia, Canada
opened sealed birth/adoption records (see enclosed articles). Minnesota started
opening sealed records in the 1970's and continues today with legislation to further
open records. Alaska, Kansas and Alabama make identifying information available
to adoptees on demand and an additional thirty-five (35) states permit the release
of adoption information. Scotland has had unsealed adoption records since 1925
and Australia and New Zealand have opened sealed birth/adoption records.
Illinois lags behind with only a provision for a passive registry. Unlike our neighboring
state of Indiana, the Illinois registry is not advertised anywhere and Illinois has no
provisions for follow through should an inquiry be made. Indiana advertises its'
registry with motor vehicle registration materials. More and more adults, affected
by adoption, consider sealed birth/adoption records a CIVIL RIGHTS ISSUE. We feel
it is time for Illinois to open its' adoption records.
If you are interested in sponsoring Illinois legislation that will open sealed
birth/adoption records, please contact ICARE, P.O. Box 8393, Northfield, Illinois
60093, 708/446-1615. We will help you with the necessary precedent setting
research and statewide support from the membership of 20 plus Illinois search and
support groups, as well as ICARE.
Sincerely,
Illinois Council for Adoption
Reform and Education (ICARE)
Memorial
University of Newfoundland
School of Social Work
October 25, 1995
The Legislators
State of Illinois
Springfield, IL
USA
Dear Legislator:
I am writing in support of the petition from ICARE (Illinois Coalition for Adoption
Reform and Education) urging your legislative initiative for opening all sealed birth
records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of age or older. I am a professor of
social work and have extensively researched and published in the areas of adoption
disclosure and reunion. I am the author of two books: ADOPTION; CURRENT
ISSUES AND TRENDS (1984) and UNLOCKING THE ADOPTION FILES (1989), both
based on scientific data. I also acted as the consultant to the Government of New
Zealand in their efforts to enact legislation in 1985 which permitted adult adoptees to
seek information regarding their birthparents.
My studies as well as the research of other investigators unequivocally
demonstrate that adoptees' desire to know about their birthparents and to connect
with their generation line is ubiquitous, and that this knowledge is crucial for identity
formation and personality development. Further, almost all the birth mothers in my
studies conducted both in Canada and the U.S., whether they initiated the search or
were found by their adult children, continued to have interest in the child they
surrendered and wanted to know what had become of him/her even many years after
separation. It is also clear that an open discussion on adoption and the adoptive
parents' support of the adoptees' desire to know strengthens adoptive parent-child
relationships and promotes mutual respect. Adoptees have reported improvement in
adoptive relationships after they met their birthparents. Thus, the apprehensions
concerning open records seem irrelevant and without scientific base.
Experience has shown that secrecy in adoption hardly serves the interests of
the participants; instead it causes pain, grief and mistrust. I therefore urge you to
undertake legislative initiatives so that Illinois could join the growing number of states
in the U.S. and in Canada making it possible for adult adoptees to obtain without
hindrance their birth records.
Please do not hesitate to contact me should you need further information at
(709) 753-2323 by phone for further information
Sincerely yours,)
Paul Sachdev Ph.D.
Professor
St. John's. Newfoundland. Canada A1C 5S7
Tel.: (709) 737-8165
Fax: (709) 737-2408
Telex: 016-4101
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
* Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
Don Hunt 23807 N. Lakeside 60047 708-458-5768 0/1/94 0
Judith Koptik 4536 Forest Downers you 60515 708-971-0780 8/29/94 BP
Therry Mobits 732 Brockstone Rd Grayslcle 60030 708-223-2503
Katileen 1420 MENDANA TR. ALLONDUIN.IN.IC 60102708-428-571
Jina LaPime (708)297-6362 9-1-94
CyntriaM Rose 3351 N Page Chgo, H 60634
0
Cynthia R Johnman 167 E Palatrice Rd. Palatine 60067 Φ
Kista Love 1311 WGRANVILLE, CHICAGO IL60660
0
,tr.
Pobyn OMeara 800 WATERFORD CT., LAKE ZURICH, Il 60047
Joyce mahion 10389 Denilove Glenview, If, 6002
May Keabler 1217 sold Wills, #305, Arlington Hts, fll.
60005
Lpa Swaback 316 Gatewood S Grapiate IL 60030
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
RM Il 60008
BECKY PATRAS 2800 FREMONT 55 259-4389 8/29 B
Eeen niver 3700 Capei C+#109 635-7232 8/29/94 AD
VILLA PARK, 60181
JAMES P.STYER 249TERRYLME 833-4349 8/29/91 AD
38149 N. North Av
Eileen R. Whitmice Beach Park, I1 60087-1679 708-623-3138 8/29/94
EP
PATRICIA M JIMENEZ 2419N TAlmAN
8-29-94
0
14402 west AVE
Ell Tayla sink ORLAND PK. IL 708-403-6976 8-29-94
HD
Brian sink 14402 WESTAVE OPLANOPARK IL 708-403-6976 8-29-94 3
798-437-4448
Saie Rupert 1145 b. Belmont Arl.Hts IL
8-29-94
Maria Lungwitz 1372 Regency Lane Lahe Villa 708-223-1929 Il60046
AD
Aharon L Simpson 6110 N. Rockwell, ChicAgo Il. 60659 (312)465-4220
AD
Lane
60521 (708)-325-1475 8/29/94
D
Hensdale 17W188 186) asperityin Hillsideyene Illenois 60521 8/29/94
Kimberloe Dawak Palati nex 1060067 269 AD
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent
O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
Richard 1. madison 1500 Highland Ave Juliet fl. 815-726-0563 8-29-94AI
Lauann Madison 1000 Heghlond Julul H. 8-15 7260563 829-9452
Learn Despote 2258 W. Walton St, Chicago (312) 276-3852 8-29-94 F
Dawn Panice 1611 maple Terrace #2H usle, IL. (708)963-3865)AD
Alarthony Longo 4780 St JosephCreek#205, fusle, Il (708)-852-2907 ADK 8-29-4
Eileen Mengarelle 1042White mtn. Northbrook, 60062 be 708-222-3157
Steven James MENGARElli 10 42 white MtN. Northbook, IL. 60002 70P-272- 3157 2/2/AD
251 Vista Rd, Lkijurich Il6004 (708)438-014
Ruth Richards 412.DivisionSt, Heneva 11, 60134 (708)232-2118
Marie Fraunberg 30 344 Elbun see 60119 708.365.6166
Jean Donelon 4720 Wallbork are Downers Srove 60515 I 708-964-0288 BF
Rohul Modyo 906 . S. 10KA
906 S.Joha net. Prospect 60056 14 708-342-000 BM 0
PLEASE RETURN TO: ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
* Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
(mes.) Eunire C. Ohuma 235 norman (708)299-4805 Ct. 8/29/94 worker
social
Marting Bayer 504 Frankie CT Propect HB IL 60070 (708)670-8838 (208) physician. RN
Debra Keepowice 2609 Park st. Rolling mows., ILL 60008 392-1389
armthia anderson Pensith P/ Schaumburg see 60/94 P
Carolyn Davis 29 Arther Joh Lake, 7086975796 ILL 60020
0
Kathy Thousan 698 SHADY OAKS CT ELGIN, ILL 60120
RN
Lydia Olson 515W. BurningTREE 60004
0
Joy Coldebella 780 BLUE JAY CIRCLE, ELKGROVEVIMAGE, In 60007
0
Corliss Decation 883 MARINA TERR EAST BARTLETT IL60/03 0
Unit # 102
KAHALEEN Milawski 170 S. waters edge Dr. Cilendare Hts, 60139 ZL i
Patty Echard 624 Smith Kisle De 60532
O
Julie C Avolia 9142 N Greenwood DesPlaines IL. 60016
O
Kathy Jurman 2415 Church 55 Des Plaines IL 60016
0
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
LauraDonnelly 8256 Hamlin Skokee, I 60076 8/29/96
Kelly Duggan 7/30h Meloina Chgo, Il 60646 8/29/94
0
Patty Chilis 8557 Roseview Dr. Nites, IL60714 8/29/50
DON Paganucci 9002 O/EANdER MORTON Ill GROVE 8/29/94
Donna Allen 700 Greenwoodlir. Mt. Prospect 8/29/940
anita Field 5117 W. chase Shokie 60077 677-0594 1 adoptee
Penny Bonney 2518 Burn bak, Blue Island, l 597-1712 60406 8/29/94
Laura Bonney 2518 Burr Oak Blue Asland x 60406 O
Patal Bay 12247 AVBNS ALSIP IL 60658 AD 8/29
JOAN ARNEttE 9120 MAcActhur ct. Des DES PLAINES
Jamos PBonney 2518 Burr Oak Ave BlueIslandIL 60406 AP
Tammie me CREA 6955 STANFOND PR. BRIDGEVIEW 8/29/94(0). (0)
Lana Oliver 10806 S. Lombard Chicago Ridee 60415 8-29-94(AD)
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent
O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
Roselle Btinsky De Polatine 7059628 10/8/94 AD
Danid ashbenay 388 Forest KnollDr. Palatine, H. 60074-7059628-10194-0
Lewer Marry 1000 Hinmen Ave., E2 Evengan, as scace 708, 64.3147-C
David Welily 4828 N. Bernard Chicago, IL 60675 312-267-639.4 108
9410 S. 777HC7 Hickory Hour 60457 4309133
Gayian Whelen 9410 S. 77th Hickory Hills Ql 60457
Jan Enos 437 Wyoming Bethalto 2.62010 618- 377-7651
Mazie Rulz RR#, Brx140, New Beiling IL 62670787-9112 217-
Колен Saunders 2210 ng SL Bellovelle: I 62221 618-235-9409
1815N. 36th Ave Stone PARC, IL. 60165 708-345-6263
RANDY KANTZ 1815N, 36th Ave Stone Park 11.60165(208)345-6263
Pam Belcher 419 marvin theeling, fl 60090 (708)520-9514
tan his 1437 Thacher Des Plaines de 60016 (708)824-3815
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
312-
8-15-94
B.P.
Connie Kiosse 702th.Rigge Gtintw 60645 973-2554
60164
sex. Is
Ken AbRAHAM 2127 HAWTHORNE melRose PARK IL 7084511604
Meg Dalsey 719 W 17H PI. Chicago Chicago 312-733-0703 60647 Birthmopher 8/15/94 BP
Amy Hahn 2519 N. St. Louis Ave. 312 292-1668 adoptee
Bonnie Bis 835 Ridge live 208 60202 708/475-4095 BP.
EVANSTON, IL 60202
Phonda Present 1000-Ninmar Are. 708-864-3147 Adopter
Landa Tipta 3719N. Wermitage Chso. 60613 B.P. salpt. paint
ann Chanowitz 9546 Kildare skoke Ice 600
Lane Martphol 1322 Dameo Evanston, K. 608201
Anne Ladky 2148w. A gatite Clucaro 60625
Karen tishman 2148 W. Agatite Clicago 60625
Aum Ronick 2029 Rid, eAr Evanstu 60201
PLEASE Betty RETURN Sue TO: Ester ICARE, 244 1419 Latrobe Avenue, Grey Not thfield, Evanta Illinois 60093 602
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
/
Julio J. Schll 1326 Wesly 866-9424 9/16/94
Sylvia Wenken 1900 Sherman #210 869-9217 BP
Jacob Aronod 1217 Maple Evanston, IL 60202
9-16-94-(708)328-4596
445w.Wellington 12d Chicago 60657 528-1581 312- 9/19/94 AD
ANDREW J. EPSTEW 4550N. wolcott, Chingo bob 40 9/16/94
AD Darul Ekhood 2100 n Lincoln Pkw Chicago 60614
Meg Halsey 719 W. 17th PL. #5BS Chap, 2L 60616 9/19/94
Sue Head 442 aidmore UcllaReAR 60181
Sauren Crafton 544 n. (fale Uicla Park 6081
Larla Helbrook 1949 Whitingham In Hoffman Est. 60195 5-1-95 AD
marssanam11540 BERTEAUAPT CHICASOIL60618
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
* Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
Joda Lomex 4501 Oakword
909-969-7357 9/21/94 0
Doarnes serve D. 60515
Janet Schletter R50 Grace Ct. Downers Grove, 1L60516 708-964-7022 9/21/94 0
Bonnie L Lehmann 907 Hickory, Darien, Del. 60561 708-963-2259 9/21/94 AP
Carol Conger 1108 Maple are Doconers Love, 60515, 708-969-1155 9/21/94 0
Bruce & Fay Corey 1820 Oxcard, Downers Grove, It 708-964-7042 852-1557 AP
Joan Krese 1324 maple Downers Grove, 60515 9/21/94
Embs Walthwell 6550 Damsum Downur Drave, De 60516 968-8968 9/21/94
O
Pag) Schultz 600 Dans Doman Jhne, 6055 9/21/94
Jan Roberts 813 Old Orchard Ie 60515 9/-
Joa 5. Ebersald Circle Downers Grave, Il 60516 9/21/91
Joan Welch 910 Umhust Rd. Prospea He H. 60070 9/22/94 c
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
" INO
008,
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
*
Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent
O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
TAMMY ROMUSSEN 38713 N.US RTE 45 MILLBURN 1L bath (708) 356-LOVE 10/1/94 AD
LARRY RASMUSSEN 38713 N.US RTE 45 MILLBURN IL 600 6 (708)356-we 10/194 0
BRENDA DEGRAZIO 7334 38th AVE KENOSHA WI 53142 (414)6524846 10/1/94 ADEN ILLINOIST
Dinisetteare 1231 Carswell Elk Grove IL 60007 (708) 439-9177 10/2/94 0
600
Pam Davis 229 Bretter wauconda Il ( (708) 526331 10/6/94
Tim Deue / 14461 W. Kennedy Gurnee 60031 Il 708 244 9586 10/6/94
Tim SCANLAN 38713 N.USRTE 45 MILLBORN IL 60046 70821.5.4847 10/6/94 0
Veonica Scanian 38713 15Rt 15 703 265-9847 10/6/94
0
Sylvia Schlegel 1902 MArshall Waukeqan IL 60085 (708) 336-9498 10/15/94 A Grandparent
CHRISTINE BERKY 2111, WESTERN WAUKESAN L 60085 249-4685 10/w/14
0
Julie Andrews 36950 Rosedale Gurnee IL 60031 360-1083 0
Cynthia Bhimani 244 Latrobe northfield Is 60093 708 441-7581 BP
faigh Khimari 244 LATROBE NFCD IL 60093 (0)
PLEASE RETURN TO: ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
ILLINOIS COALITION FOR
ADOPTION REFORM AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
PETITION FOR OPEN RECORDS
To: Illinois Govenor, State Representatives and Senators
"I support the opening of all sealed birth records in Illinois for adult adoptees 18 years of
age and over, without hindrance by any governmental body, private agency, hospital,
maternity home or person and with no more than the usual fee assessed to any other
person obtaining such records. This includes any and all information relating to the birth
of said person. FURTHER, I view the continuation of sealed birth records to be a
violation of an adoptees civil rights. ICARE believes access to an individuals birth history
is basic, innate and instinctual." For more information contact ICARE, 708/441-7581.
* Status
AD-Adoptee BP-Birthparent AP-Adoptive Parent
O-Other
Name
Street, State, Zip
Phone
Date
*Status
Joan & liva 6943 Howard Niles 2160714 708/647-8943 9/1/94
Darlene O. King 6644W. RAVEN Chicago 60631 312/631-3205 9-1-24
Joan Mike
6354 W. Husbington Chicago 60068 312-763-1274
Ind Cinar 1108 Manle - Dama Crive 6055-708-469-1155
Baren Melendy 1422 Laverne Cark Redge 60068 708 825-6564
Kanalina Vestes 1500Silver 590-5305 827-94 0
RODNEY McGiu 120N. One PARK AVE#216 (708)445-1430 8/29/94 0
DON Couvia 484 CHAPANY CR 6700229 8/29/94
David Hanna 325 Weber C+ 516-4206 8/30/94 0
Jane Benson 413 S. Cadar x 60067 358-1758 8-30-94 0
4022 W Kinwood I 60031 708 244-9074 8/30 BP
PLEASE RETURN TO:
ICARE, 244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, Illinois 60093
708/441-7581
STATE OF NEW YORK
10403
B
IN ASSEMBLY
MARCH 29. 1994
Introduced by M. of A. STRINGER Multi-Sponsored by -- M. of A. MEEKS, RAVITZ, RIVERA,
SIDIKMAN. WRIGHT -- read once and referred to the Committee on Judiciary
AN ACT to amend the domestic relations law and the public health law. in relation to allowing certain
adopted persons access to their original birth certificate
The People of the State of New York, represented in Senate and Assembly, do enact as follows:
Section 1. The second undesignated paragraph of section 114 of the domestic relations law, as
amended by chapter 559 of the laws of 1992. is amended to read as follows:
No person. including the attorney for the adoptive parents shall disclose the surname of the child
directly or indirectly to the adoptive parents except upon order of the court. No person shall be allowed
access to such sealed records and order and any index therof except upon an order of a judge or surrogate
of the court in which the order was made or of a justice of the supreme court. No order for disclosure or
access and inspection shall be granted except on good cause shown and on due notice to the adoptive
parents and to such additional persons as the court may direct. Nothing contained herein shall be deemed
to require the state commissioner of health or his designee to secure a court order authorizing disclosure
of information contained in adoption or birth records requested pursuant to the authority of section forty-
one hundred thirty-eight-c or section forty-one hundred thirty-eight-d of the public health law; upon the
receipt of such request for information. the court shall transmit the information authorized to be released
thereunder to the state commissioner of health or his designee. Notwithstanding any provision of law to
the contrary, an adopted person eighteen years of age or older shall be entitled to receive, upon request, an
uncertified copy of that person's original (long form, line by line vault copy) birth certificate and any
change the biological parents attach to the certificate.
Section 2. Section 4138 of the public health law is amended by adding two new subdivisions 8 and 9
to read as follows:
8. (a) An adopted person eighteen vears of age or older, or a biological parent, may submit to the
registrar a notice of change of name or address, such information shall be attached to the original birth
certificate of the adopted person.
(b) The registrar shall disclose to a biological parent, at that parents request, the most current name
and address of an adopted person if that person has requested $0 in writing,
9. Notwithstanding any provision of the law to the contrary, the registrar shall release to an adopted
person a copy of their original birth certificate pursuant to section one hundred fourteen of the domestic
relations law.
Section 3. This act shall take effect September 1, 1994.
EXPLANATION--Matter in italics (underscored) is new: matter in
brackets [] is old law to be omitted.
MEMORANDUM IN SUPPORT
Bill Number: Assembly 10403
Senate
Sponsors:
Assembly stringer
Senate
TITLE OF BILL: AN ACT to amend the domestic relations law and the
public health law, in relation to allowing certain adopted persons
access to their original birth certificates.
PURPOSE OR GENERAL IDEA OF BILL: This bill would allow adopted
adults to learn who their birth parents are when they reach their
21st birthday.
SUMMARY OF SPECIFIC PROVISIONS: This bill would amend section 114
of the domestic relations law and section 4138 of the public health
law.
EFFECTS OF PRESENT LAW THIS BILL WOULD ALTER: See above.
JUSTIFICATION: There are currently over 6 million adoptees in the
United States for whom most know nothing about their birth parents
because of state laws which seal all adoption records. New York is
one of those states.
Many of these laws were instituted in the 1930' and 40's to prevent
the adoptee from being labeled "illegitimate" or "bastard." Social
values have changed tremendously since those days and there is no
longer the same stigma attached to adoption. The sealing of these
records is now hurting the people they were designed to protect.
There are at least three fundamental reasons why adoptees should be
allowed to find out who their birth parents were. First, adoptees
are prevented from gaining access to medical information needed for
preventive health care. As more and more illnesses are traced to
genetic factors, adoptees should know what the medical history of
their birth parents. Second, adoptees are denied the knowledge of
their religious and ethnic heritage and third, they are denied the
rights to know about their family history.
Opening adoption records for adults would give them some of the
basic facts of their own existence which most people take for
granted.
PRIOR LEGISLATIVE HISTORY: None.
FISCAL IMPLICATIONS: None.
EFFECTIVE DATE: This act shall take effect September 1, 1994.
TENNESSEE PASSES SWEEPING ADOPTION
REFORM LEGISLATION
In late May, 1995 Tennessee passed a his-
tive adoptive homes, but whose adoptions were
tory-making, comprehensive, 177-page revision
never legally finalized.
of Tennessee's adoption law. This law passed
the Tennessee House of Representatives by a
The justification for this complete opening
vote of 99-0, and the Tennessee Senate by a
of pre-1951 adoption records is three-fold: no
vote of 30-2. (The Board vote was 28-2, but two
Tennessee adoption law before 1951 required
senators off the floor at the time of the vote
the sealing of adoption records; the 1951 adop-
later recorded their votes in the yes column.)
tion law, which specified the sealing of records
from that time forward, made no mention of
This new law rewrites the rules of every
the retroactive sealing of adoption records; the
aspect of adoption - birth mother's rights and
full-blown revelations in recent years of the
responsibilities, birth father's rights and respon-
nefarious practices of Georgia Tann and TCHS
sibilities, agency and LCSW and attorney
have had the effect of finally convincing public
guidelines and fees, preliminary and full home
officials that it is in the best interest of all those
studies, foreign adoptions, termination of paren-
affected by that operation to have full access to
tal rights procedures, foster care regulation,
any records and information available.
post-adoption services, etc.
This provision of the new law becomes ef-
Of most immediate interest to AAC mem-
fective July 1. 1995. Policies and procedures for
bers, however, are the key elements of this law
the implementation of this provision are being
having to do with the disclosure of - and access
developed now.
to - adoption records and identifying informa-
tion. Those key elements are as follows:
SECOND: For adoptions which have
taken place after the provisions of the 1951 law
FIRST: ALL adoption records from the
went into effect, the principle (borrowed from
time period before March of 1951 (the effective
the New South Wales Adoption Information
date of our current adoption statute), specifical-
Act of 1990) that "the right to information is
ly including the records of any and all Ten-
equal to the right to privacy" will apply. Adop-
nessee Children's Home Society adoptions
tion records shall be made available - upon re-
regardless of their date of finalization, shall be
quest and as a matter of right - to adult
made available - on request and as a matter of
adoptees twenty-one years of age or older, or
right - to all those affected: adoptees and/or
their legal representatives. Again, records
their lineal descendants, adoptive parents, birth
referred to in this provision specifically include
parents, and birth siblings, or the legal repre-
those held "in the office of the clerk of the adop-
sentatives of any of those persons.
tion court; in the offices of the department of
health; in the offices of any child-placing agen-
Specifically included in this blanket
cy; in the state, district, and county offices of
coverage are "records in the office of the clerk
the department of human services; or in any
of the adoption court; in the offices of the
other information source." (One exception ap-
department of health; in the offices of any child-
plies: the records of home studies of adoptive
placing agency; in the state, district and county
parents will not be released. This exception is
offices of the department of human services; or
the result of a last-minute floor amendment in
in any other informational source."
the Senate).
This provision also applies to records main-
Although the above-specified records will
tained on persons who were placed in prospec-
be provided the adult adoptee as a matter of
right upon request, BEFORE receiving the
8
records he/she must sign an affidavit to the ef-
tions as to when, where, and how; agree to the
fect that IF there is a contact-veto in the record
exchange of correspondence, pictures, updated
- or IF on being located by DHS, the person
information through an intermediary) or
being sought then places a contact-veto in the
withdraw it at any time. There will be a space
record - the adoptee will not contact the person
on the contact-veto form for the person vetoing
who filed the contact-veto or make use of any
the contact to explain why he/she is vetoing con-
other person or entity to make such a contact.
tact, or the conditions under which he/she will
agree to contact.
Any adoptee who violates such a contact-
veto will be subject to both criminal and legal
This provision of the new law will become
penalties, should the person whose right to
effective July 1. 1996. During the one-year
privacy is violated elect to bring charges. (The
period before it goes into effect, DHS will use
criminal offense will be considered a Class B
public service announcements and other forms
misdemeanor; the person whose right to privacy
of media coverage to publicize the forthcoming
has been violated also will have "a cause of ac-
change in law and services which will be avail-
tion in the circuit or chancery court for injunc-
able through the Department beginning on the
tive relief and damages, including both
effective date.
compensatory and punitive damages....")
THIRD: One year after this provision goes
A contact-veto will automatically apply to
into effect, DHS shall file a report with the
other family members of the person filing the
Legislature concerning the use of the contact-
contact-veto, but any such family member may
veto, the frequency of violation of the contact-
override that veto by placing a consent-to-con-
veto, and the number and nature of any
tact in the record, if he/she wishes to do so.
complaints or objections to the contact-veto
procedure received by the Department during
If there is no contact-veto in the record -
the law's first year in effect.
and IE, on being located by DHS, the person
being sought does not then file a contact-veto -
FOURTH: Effective immediately, birth
or if the person being sought cannot be located
parents surrendering a child for adoption will
by DHS, the requesting adoptee shall be under
be advised of their right to file either a contact-
no further restrictions against pursuing contact.
veto or a consent-to-contact, and of their right
to vary or withdraw such a veto or consent at
Birth parents and siblings (adopted and un-
any future time.
adopted, full and half) may request identifying
information about - and contact with - a related
NOTE: Fees will be charged for each of
adoptee. However, the adult adoptee shall
the services described above. The breakdown
have the right to veto both contact and the
of those fees has not yet been determined by
release of identifying information about him-
DHS.
self/herself, and the adoptive parents of a minor
adoptee shall have the right to veto both con-
tact and the release of identifying information
Denny Glad
about the minor adoptee.
President
Tennessee Coalition for Adoption Reform
Persons filing a contact-veto may "vary"
that veto (i.e. agree to contact, but set condi-
Chain of Life
Issues in Adoption and Child Welfare
SINCE 1989
P.O. Box 8081
Berkeley, California 94707
Issue 36
FALL 1995
JANINE BAER, M.A., EDITOR
British Columbia Opens Records
Katherine Kimbell, co-chair of
contact declaration," which allows
by another person when that infor-
Adoption Reform Coalition of
the seeker to obtain the missing
mation is shared jointly by both
A
Ontario (ARCO) reported in the
person's name along with their
contact veto, as developed satisfacto-
September Parent-Finders newsletter
request not to be contacted. Kimbell
rily in New South Wales, Australia,
(National Capital Region) that on
made no mention of whether there
is sufficient." ARCO will continue to
July 4 the Canadian province of
would be criminal penalties for
try to open records in the province of
British Columbia passed a bill
contacting someone who requests
Ontario.
permitting access to identifying
I have a personal connection to
information for adopted adults and
British Columbia: I was conceived
birth parents. Adoptees can now
there. My birth mother essentially
obtain information about birth
fled Vancouver to protect herself
parents, including their names, and
birth parents "will be able to access
Who will be
from the social disapproval of
unmarried pregnant women and I
the adoption record to learn their
next?
was born and adopted in Los Ange-
child's name by adoption." Kimbell
les while my birth mother returned
explained, "Both will also have
to Canada. My birth father may still
services to assist with search and
live in Vancouver. He was not
reunions. While these rights are
happy that I found him there - he
qualified and not absolute, they are
was concerned about maintaining his
a major advance in Canadian social
good reputation (as if my plan were
justice in adoption."
no contact as in Tennessee's new
to publicize the situation!) - but I
As in Tennessee, New Zealand,
law. For more information, write to:
did have the opportunity to meet
and other jurisdictions that have
Audrey Scammell, c/o Triad Society
him once, in 1984. While I am glad
opened adoption records in the past
for Truth in Adoption, 686 Hamp-
when any jurisdiction provides
decade, individuals seeking this
shire Road, Victoria, B.C., CANADA
access to information for adoptees, I
information may be thwarted by a
V8S 4S2.
am particularly glad this change
"veto" if the person being sought
Kimbell stated that ARCO
came to British Columbia.
chooses to place one. British
"takes great hope from this new
Jean Paton wondered in her latest
Columbia's new law provides for
B.C. law" but "feels offering both a
newsletter, "Has the Revolution
two different kinds of vetoes: a
disclosure veto and a contact veto is
Begun?" Will other states and
"disclosure veto," which allows a
not the best decision" because "no
provinces finally open their records
birth parent or adoptee to block
one person should have the right to
one by one? Activists in New Jersey
access to their names, and a "no
veto access to personal information
hope their state will be next.
-JB
Searching for
National Adoption
Birth Relatives
Information Clearinghouse
11426 Rockville Pike, Suite 410
Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 231-6512
Inside
Confidentiality in adoption has
birthparent support groups such
been the norm in this country
as Concerned United
since the 1930's. Traditionally, it
Birthparents (CUB) encourage
Why People Search
has been perceived as beneficial
their members to search for their
to all sides of the adoption
birth children if they so desire.
Ways to Get Help
triad-the adoptive parents, the
The American Adoption
adoptee, and the birthparents.
Congress (AAC) is another
What's the Next Step?
Adoption agencies have
organization that advocates for
supported the policy of
access to adoption information
confidentiality, and as a result
for all parties to an adoption who
How Many People
the practice of concealment is
are at least 18 years old. These
Search?
almost universal in the United
groups also support a policy of
States. Hawaii and Kansas are
openness in current adoption
How Long Will a
the only States that allow adult
practice. This means that at the
Search Take?
adoptees complete access to their
time of an adoption birthparents
birth and adoption information.
and adoptive parents would
share information directly or
Some Things to Think
More recently, there has been
indirectly and possibly meet face-
About
more discussion about this issue.
to-face. They could even agree
In years past, it was almost
to have some degree of ongoing
unheard of for adult adoptees to
contact over time.
search for their birthparents, and
for birthparents to search for the
Advocates for unsealing adoption
children they placed for
records argue that sealed records
adoption. However, in recent
allow adoptive parents the
years, searching for birth
opportunity to deny the adoption
relatives has become more
and inhibit the birthparents'
frequent.
mourning of their loss.
Proponents of sealed record
Self-help search organizations
adoption purport that
such as the Adoptee Liberty
confidentiality facilitates the
Movement Association (ALMA)
uninterrupted bonding between
promote adoptees' rights to
children and their adoptive
search for their birthparents, and
parents. Confidentiality is also
thought to protect birthparents
For others, searching is important
adoptive siblings, and
from later intrusion into their
for their emotional development.
professionals who work with
lives by the child and to allow
Some adoptees have a desire to
them. If you are considering
them to "put the past behind
know and understand why their
undertaking a search, familiarize
them" and to "go on with their
birthparents made an adoption
yourself with this literature and
lives." A traditional closed
plan for them. They want to
gather all the helpful information
adoption alleviates the adoptive
know if their birthparents ever
you can. A bibliography of
parents' apprehension that the
regretted their decision or missed
useful articles and books
birthparents may one day
them. Birthparents, on the other
compiled by the National
reappear to try to claim their
hand, wish to tell their birth
Adoption Information
child, and thus possibly cause
children the reasons and
Clearinghouse (NAIC) is
confusion and turmoil for the
circumstances for placing them
provided at the end of this
child.
for adoption. Birthparents also
article.
wonder if the adoptive parents
In addition to these resources, a
While controversy in the
treated their child well, and if the
more complete list of relevant
adoption community regarding
child has been happy.
articles, including those most
access to birth records continues,
recently received by NAIC, may
adult adoptees and birthparents
A third reason that adoptees and
be requested. The articles
are taking matters into their own
birthparents search is one that
address specific areas related to
hands. Many of
has engendered a lot of activity
searching for birth relatives. An
them wish to search for their
in the past few years - to share
NAIC information specialist can
birth relatives, and articulate
medical and genetic information.
help you determine your specific
various reasons for wanting to
Both the National Academy of
areas of interest.
do so. If you are a birthparent,
Sciences and the University of
adoptee, adoptive parent, birth or
Maryland School of Social Work
Support Groups
adopted sibling, or anyone with a
have recently held conferences on
close connection to someone in
this topic. The conferences
People who have searched advise
these categories, the following
covered topics that included how
new searchers to begin the
reasons for wanting to search for
to gather, store, and transmit
process with a realistic rather
birth relatives may sound
genetic information in ways that
than an overly optimistic or
familiar to you.
would be beneficial to all parties.
pessimistic attitude. Searchers
In many States, this reason is the
should be prepared for either
Why People Search
only one that judges believe
positive or negative outcomes.
justifies the opening of sealed
As a prospective searcher, you
For some, the interest in
adoption records, and for which
should also be connected to a
searching is a matter of intense
they will issue a court order to
supportive individual or group
curiosity. They seek a sense of
do so.
with which to ventilate your
connection to someone of similar
feelings before, during, and after
genetic makeup. They want to
Ways to Get Help
the search. The supportive
know if their birth relatives look
individual might be a spouse,
like they do, speak as they do, or
Literature
friend, or professional counselor.
demonstrate similar gestures or
The supportive group might be a
body language. They want to
Literature is growing on the
local or national self-help group
know if they share similar
adoptee and birth relative search
that has been formed expressly
characteristics such as a dry
movement. Many helpful books
for adoptees and/or birth
sense of humor, athletic or
and articles have been written on
relatives.
musical abilities, or an outgoing
the subject by adoptees, adoptive
personality.
parents, birthparents, birth and
2
Support groups do not only
adoption triad access to adoption
However, some adoption
provide emotional support.
and birth information. The
organizations have found these
Members of these groups may
legislation generally is concerned
registries not to be very effective.
also have helpful hints for you as
with the type of information that
The national registries are listed
to how to go about the search
can be revealed, the age and
below with the other national
process. Hearing about another
specific relationship to the
organizations. You can contact
person's successful efforts would
adoption proceedings of the
NAIC to find out if your State
certainly provide encouragement
person requesting the
has a state registry.
for you as you consider the
information, and the procedures
possibility of searching. The
to be followed in obtaining the
Search Consultants
national groups are listed at the
information.
end of this article. For referrals
Professional search consultants
to groups in your State or the
In some States, it is possible to
are individuals who have made
State in which the adoption took
obtain birth data by contacting
searching for missing people, and
place, contact NAIC.
the Bureau of Vital Statistics. In
specifically, searching for
a few States, a request for
adoptees or birth relatives, their
Adoption Agencies and Social
information can be made directly
specialty. They charge fees for
Service Departments
to the probate court in which the
their services. It would be
adoption proceedings were filed.
important if you hire one to
If you know the name of the
check his or her credentials
agency through which your
Registries
thoroughly and ask for references
adoption was arranged, start
from former clients. Before you
your search by contacting the
Some adoptees and birth
hand over a retainer fee, you
agency directly. If you do not
relatives may not wish to
want to be sure that you are
know the name of the agency,
undertake an active search for
dealing with a reputable person.
the adoption division of your
their relatives but are willing to
State or county department of
be contacted if their relatives are
Computer Networks
social services might be able to
looking for them. Mutual
help you. That agency can also
consent registries that match
The latest computer technology is
tell you about the laws governing
identifying information of
now also being used by those
disclosure of adoption
adoptees and birthparents have
who are searching. Many of the
information in your State.
been established in many States
commercially available online
and by some national
services have adoption forums or
These laws vary from State to
organizations. You provide your
mailing lists. They may have
State, and sometimes change, as
identifying information, current
forums for general discussion on
new legislation gets enacted.
address, and telephone number
adoption, as well as specific areas
Within the last few years, new
to the registry. If anyone is
for adoptees, birthparents, or
legislation has been introduced in
looking for someone whose
adoptive parents. Some contacts
several States, and it is likely that
information matches yours, the
for these are listed at the end of
other States will be enacting
staff of the registry put you
this article. Note: For those for
legislation in the future. Some
together. In some States in
whom the Internet information is
national adoption groups are
which records are
a foreign language, either find a
deeply involved in the effort to
unconditionally sealed, these
friend who knows about it to
get legislation enacted allowing
mutual consent registries are one
help you, or contact one of the
all adult members of the
of the only avenues open to you.
other services for help in entering
3
this route of the information
school her birthmother attended.
Furthermore, if you need help, it
superhighway.
She then located the yearbooks
is available for you.
for that school for her birth year
What's the Next Step?
and the years before and after
How Long Will a Search
her birth. She pored over the
Take?
Once you gather background
photographs of all the students
information and get help from all
until she zeroed in on the one
There is no pat answer to the
these sources, you may still be
she felt was her birthmother.
question of how long a search
left searching on your own.
She was correct!
will take. It will depend on the
What's the next step? If you are
availability of reliable sources of
an adoptee, you might want to
How Many People Search?
information, the laws in the State
talk to your adoptive parents and
in which the adoption took place,
other relatives who may
One source states that more than
the amount of help and resources
remember details that would
60,000 Americans are searching
you have, and various other
help you to put the pieces
for birthparents or children from
factors. Again, if it turns into a
together. You will want to be
whom they were separated as a
long and difficult process, you
tactful in the way you phrase
result of adoption. Another
will be glad you have your
your questions. Birthparents
source states that only 1 to 2
support network ready to see
might discuss possibilities with
percent of adoptees search for
you through it.
individuals who were confidants
their birthparents, while still
at the time of the adoption. You
another source states that 10 to
Some Things to Think
will have to think creatively and
15 percent of adoptees engage in
About
not necessarily logically to come
an active search. It is difficult to
up with appropriate strategies for
obtain an accurate assessment of
If you decide to conduct a search
your search.
the number of searchers in the
for a birth relative, you are sure
United States and, of that
to experience many different
Birth, death, marriage, divorce,
number, how many actually
emotions. Fear, guilt, anger,
school, church, genealogy, health,
locate their relative and establish
anxiety, and exhilaration all may
military, and property records
contact. It is known that more
play a part. The phase of life
can be useful, so use them.
female adoptees search for their
you are in at the time of the
Newspaper articles and classified
birthparents than males do, and
search may be an important
ads in personal columns may
that usually it is the birthmother
factor, too, especially if you have
also be helpful. Some search
for whom they search first,
recently experienced a major life
organizations publish newsletters
especially if they were adopted
event such as a marriage,
or magazines with personal
as an infant. The growing
divorce, birth, or death. You
columns as well. Keep accurate
numbers of search organizations
may change your mind about
notes throughout the process.
indicate that more people are
your decision to search more
You never know which
interested in searching than ever
than once, or do some work on
seemingly insignificant detail,
before. The NAIC certainly
the search for a while and then
when added with another one,
receives many inquiries on the
suddenly stop. This is
will be the breakthrough clue for
subject, which is why this
understandable and quite
you.
factsheet was developed. The
normal.
important point is, if you feel a
For instance, one adult adoptee
search is the right thing for you
was able to find out which high
to do, you should do it.
4
You might want to give some
holidays, and Mothers' Days or
thought to or discuss with your
Fathers' Days together before you
Information on
support network what might
find a level of contact or
Searching Available
occur or what you would like to
participation in each others' lives
from NAIC
occur if your search is successful.
that feels comfortable.
Do you intend to have an
1. Search and support
ongoing relationship with the
When you conduct a search, the
groups in your State
person you find, as much as
information you acquire may be
and/or the State in which
time, distance, and resources
positive or negative. If you are
the adoption took place.
allow? Do you want the person
able to meet your birth relatives,
you find to meet the people who
they may be thrilled to know you
2. Information on State
are significant in your life at the
or less than welcoming. You
mutual consent
present time? Do you want to
must be prepared for things to
registries.
meet the people who are
go either way. However, most
significant to the person you
searchers say that knowing as
3. Information on State
find? How might your finding
much as possible about their
adoption laws.
each other affect them? Do you
birth relatives provides a feeling
want to satisfy your curiosity,
of closure and satisfaction that
4. A more extensive
briefly, and then move on?
cannot be duplicated. Good or
bibliography on search
bad, knowing your history or the
literature.
The last question is very
outcome of your earlier actions
important. If all you want to do
hopefully will be helpful to you.
is satisfy your curiosity, you
Maybe if you learn only one
could cause more pain than if
crucial piece of information, it
you never established contact. If
will be enough to give you a
the medical or genetic
peace of mind that you did not
information is important to you,
have before the search.
but an actual relationship is not,
perhaps you should arrange for a
Remember, a decision not to
third party or the adoption
search is absolutely fine.
agency to obtain that for you.
However, if you decide to take
The literature on searching
the risk, may it be an
indicates that once birth relatives
enlightening and rewarding
are found, they want to stay in
journey for you. If NAIC can
touch. Therefore, think through
help you in any way (see box
very carefully how much contact
below), please call or write again.
you might or might not want to
have with the found person over
Written by Debra G. Smith, ACSW,
time. If you think you might be
Director, NAIC
willing to stay in touch and
Originally published 1990; revised
maintain the relationship, expect
February 1995
some rough spots along the way.
This is new territory for both of
you. It might take a couple of
years of living through birthdays,
5
Nationally Based Adoption
International Soundex Reunion
Birthlink
Search Resources
Registry
Family Care
P.O. Box 2312
21 Castle Street
*Adoptee Liberty Movement
Carson City, NV 89702
Edinburgh EH2 3DN
Association (ALMA)
(702) 882-7755
Scotland
P.O. Box 727, Radio City Station
031 225 6441
New York, NY 10101-0727
Musser Foundation
(212) 581-1568
P.O. Box 1860
Geborener Deutscher
Cape Coral, FL 33910
805 Alvarado Dr. N.E.
*American Adoption Congress
(813) 542-1342
Albuquerque, NM 87108
(AAC)
1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W.,
National Adoption Registry
"These national organizations
Suite 9
6800 Elmwood Ave.
may be able to refer you to local
Washington, D.C. 20036
Kansas City, MO 64132-9963
organizations near you.
(202) 483-3399
(816) 361-1627 or (800) 875-4347
Newsletters, Magazines,
National Organization for
People Searching News
and Computer Networks
Birthfathers & Adoption Reform
P.O. Box 100444
for People Interested in
(NOBAR)
Palm Bay, FL 32910-0444
(407) 768-2222
Adoption
1139 Bal Harbor Blvd., Suite 184
P.O. Box 50
Newsletters
Punta Gorda, FL 33951
Reunions, The Magazine
(813) 637-7477
P.O. Box 11727
Milwaukee, WI 53211-1727
Birth Mothers of Minors
Birthparent Connection
(414) 263-4567
(B.M.O.M.S.)
Cherokee Station
P.O. Box 230643
Fax (414) 263-6331
P.O. Box 20510
Encinitas, CA 92023-0643
New York, NY 10021
(619) 753-8288
Re-Unite
P.O. Box 7945
(212) 532-4104
*Concerned United Birthparents
Aspen, CO 81612
(303) 927-2400
Birthparents Today
(CUB)
3423 Blue Rock
2000 Walker St.
Cincinnati, OH 45239
Des Moines, LA 50317
Foreign Search/Support
(513) 741-0929
1-(800)-822-2777 or (515) 263-9558
Adoptee Foreign Search
CUB Communicator
"Council for Equal Rights in
18460 Bishop Lane
Concerned United Birthparents
Adoption
Cleveland, OH 44136
(CUB)
401 East 74th St., Suite 17D
2000 Walker St.
New York, NY 10021
ALMA - England
Des Moines, IA 50317
(212) 988-0110
P.O. Box 10
1-(800)-822-2777 or (515) 263-9558
Rainham Essex
UK RM13 8JZ
0708 55 6961
6
The Decree
Computer Networks
Birthparents
American Adoption Congress
To subscribe send E-mail:
1000 Connecticut Ave., N.W.,
AdoptioNetwork
[email protected]
Suite 9
2312 N. Wakefield
Type in body of text
Washington, DC 20036
Arlington, VA 22207
SUB BRTHPRNT
(202) 483-3399
(202) 755-7420 or
firstname lastname
(703) 803-4987
Adoptees (ONLY)
On the Vine
Contact: [email protected]
Sweet Pea Press
America Online
P.O. Box 1852
8619 Westwood Center Dr.
Newsgroups
Appleton, WI 54913-1852
Vienna, VA 22182-2285
(800) 827-6364 or
General Discussion: alt.adoption
Open Adoption Birthparent
(703) 893-6288
721 Hawthorne St.
Persons Interested in Adoption:
Royal Oak, MI 48067
CompuServe
alt.adoption.agency
(810) 543-0997
5000 Arlington Centre Blvd.
P.O. Box 20212
Bibliography
People Searching News
Columbus, OH 43220
P.O. Box 100444
(800) 487-8990
Andersen, Robert S. The Nature
Palm Bay, FL 32910-0444
of Adoptee Search: Adventure,
(407) 768-2222
Prodigy
Cure or Growth? Child Welfare,
P.O. Box 8129
v58 n6, Nov-Dec 1989, PP. 623-
Magazines
Gray, TN 37615
632.
(800) PRO-DIGY
Adoptive Families
(800) 776-3449
Anderson, Carole J. Thoughts for
Adoptive Families of America
Birth Parents Newly Considering
3333 Highway 100 North
WOMB BBS
Search. Des Moines, IA:
Minneapolis, MN 55422
c/o 805 Alvarado Dr. N.E.
Concerned United Birthparents,
(612) 535-4829
Albuquerque, NM 87108
1987.
Pact Press
On the Internet
Anderson, Carole J. Thoughts to
3315 Sacramento St., Ste. 239
Consider for Newly Searching
San Francisco, CA 94118
Mailing Lists
Adoptees. Des Moines, LA:
415) 221-6957
Concerned United Birthparents,
Triad (Adoptive Parents,
1987.
Reunions, The Magazine
Birthparents, Adoptees)
P.O. Box 11727
Contact: owner-adoption@
Askin, Jayne with Molly Davis.
Milwaukee, WI 53211-1727
listserv.law.cornell.edu
Search: A Handbook for Adoptees
(414) 263-4567
Birthmothers (ONLY) Contact:
and Birth Parents, 2nd Edition.
[email protected]
Phoenix, AZ: Oryx Press, 1992.
Roots and Wings
c/o Cynthia Peck
30 Endicott Dr.
Great Meadows, NJ 07838
(908) 637-8899
7
Auth, Patricia J. and Shirley
Johnson, Richard S., Lt. Col. How
Sachdev, Paul. Adoption
Zaret. The Search in Adoption:
to Locate Anyone Who Is Or Has
Reunion and After: A Study of
A Service and A Process. Social
Ever Been in the Military: Armed
the Search Process and
Casework, v67 n9, Nov 1986, pp.
Forces Locator Directory. Fort Sam
Experience of Adoptees. Child
560-568.
Houston, TX: Military
Welfare, v71 n1, Jan-Feb 1992, pp.
Information Enterprises, 1990.
53-68.
Campbell, Lee H. et al. Reunions
Between Adoptees and Birth
Klunder, Virgil L. Lifeline: The
Silverman, Phyllis R. et al.
Parents: The Adoptees'
Action Guide to Adoption Search.
Reunion Between Adoptees and
Experience. Social Work, v36 nt,
Cape Coral, FL: Caradium
Birth Parents: The Birth Parents
Jul 1991, pp. 329-335.
Publishing, 1991.
Experience. Social Work, v33 n6,
Nov-Dec 1988, pp. 524-528.
Carlson, Jone. The U.S.A. Search
Lifton, Betty Jean. Lost and
Resources Directory. Ft.
Found: The Adoption Experience.
Strauss, Jean A. S. The Great
Lauderdale, FL: J.E. Carlson &
New York: The Dial Press, 1988.
Adoptee Search Book. Worcester,
Associates, 1992.
MA: Castle Rock Publishing
Musser, Sandra. I Would Have
Company, 1990.
Fisher, Florence. The Search for
Searched Forever. Cape Coral, FL:
Anna Fisher. New York: Fawcett
Jan Publications, 1979.
Crest Books, 1973.
Rillera, Mary Jo. The Reunion
Gonyo, Barbara and Kenneth W.
Book. Volume I. Westminster,
Watson. Searching in Adoption:
CA: Triadoption Publications,
For Most, the Decision to Search
1991.
Comes After a Long Process of
Internal Struggle and
Rosenzweig-Smith, Janet. Factors
Ambivalence. Public Welfare, v46
Associated with Successful
n1, Win 1988, pp. 14-22.
Reunions of Adult Adoptees and
Biological Parents. Child Welfare,
v67 n5, Sep-Oct 1988, pp. 411-
422.
8
THE EIGHT GREAT FALLACIES OF ADOPTION
Adoption is one of those subjects that everyone thinks (s)he knows
something about - and has a opinion on. Unfortunately, many of these
opinions are wrong, since most people are not adopted, and have no first
hand experience of the adoption process or the effects it has on the families
involved. There are many fallacies concerning adoption some of them
may surprise you!
ONE
THREE
ADOPTIVE PARENTS MAKE BETTER PARENTS
ADOPTEES WHO SEARCH ARE LOOKING FOR
THAN ORDINARY PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY
FANTASY, THE "PERFECT PARENTS" WHO WILL
WANTED A CHILD so BADLY AND WENT TO so
LOVE AND CHERISH THEM, AND THEY WILL
MUCH TROUBLE TO GET ONE.
INEVITABLY BE CRUELLY DISAPPOINTED WHEN
Actually, adoptive parents are no better and no worse than
THEY MEET WITH REALITY.
any other parents. The idea that just wanting 8 child makes
This is the natural conclusion of Fallacy No. Two; since
anyone into a good parent is shallow. It's the amount of
adoptees are "dissatisfied" with what they have, they must
time, thought, love and labor that goes into raising a child
be looking for the impossible dream. Truthfully, the only
that distinguishes the good parents from the poor ones.
thing that adoptees who search are NOT looking for is fairy
Most parents, adoptive or not, do their honest best for the
tales! They are tired of fantasizing, wondering, thinking;
children they care for. To expect parents to be extra good
they are seeking the truth. Of course, they would not be
at parenting just because they adopted is to burden them
human if they did not hope that what they find will be
with impossible standards to live up to, and this can place
pleasant, but they know very well that it could end in
a strain on the relationship in the family. It must also
disappointment. If they were looking for dreams, they would
place a strain on the adoptee who feels that he must reflect
not need to search at all dreams are easy to come by.
this "superior" parenting in his accomplishments.
FOUR
TWO
A SEARCHING ADOPTEE POSES A REAL THREAT
HAPPY ADOPTEES, WHO ARE COMPLETELY
TO THE SECURITY AND ANONYMITY OF THE
SATISFIED WITH THEIR PARENTS AND HOME
BIRTH PARENTS.
WILL NEVER WANT TO SEARCH FOR THEIR
To believe this one, you must also believe that people who
BIRTH KIN; ONLY THE UNHAPPY AND
have been raised as adopted members of their families are
MALADJUSTED WILL FEEL A NEED TO SEARCH.
all incompetent, insensitive, immature idiots who could not
The reverse is true. Dr. Wm. Reynolds found that there was
be taught by parents or anyone else to care about the rights
no correlation between satisfaction with the adoptive
and feelings of others. This is a belief that Indicates a
parents and a desire to search. Searching indicates no more
deep lack of faith in adoption, that seems to say that
than a strong desire for knowledge on the part of the
adoption is a system of child welfare that takes normal,
searcher - it is not an indication of rejection of the
healthy children and turns them into emotionally crippled
adoptive family. In fact, the adoptee who feels secure and
adults.
wanted in his family may search for the truth of his past,
knowing that he will lose nothing in the process and may
What people do not seem to realize is that an adoptee has no
gain a great deal. The unhappy adoptee may not care to risk
reason to be so thoughtless and inconsiderate. How much
his precarious relationships with his family and decide not
information could B searcher get from a shocked, angry or
to search.
frightened birth parent? The adoptees must be careful, for
their own sakes as well as for the sake of the birth
Furthermore, since all adoptees are curious from time to
parents.
time, to one degree or another, to believe this fallacy is
to do a great disservice to the adoptive parents; most
adoptees Insist that they are not searching for
(continued)
replacements, and are quite happy with the families they
have.
FIVE
This fallacy offers an illusion of kindness, but is actually
the most cruel of them all. The truth is that a secret
AN ADOPTEE BELONGS TO HIS NEW FAMILY
cannot be kept forever. The adopted always find out, sooner
FOREVER - AND OWES THEM SOMETHING MORE
or later. And even when they are unaware of their status as
THAN THE ORDINARY OFFSPRING OWES HIS
an adopted member of the family, they do frequently feel
FAMILY.
"different", without knowing why. When they do find out,
Correction, please: an adoptee will be a part of the people
often by accident, they discover at once that nothing they
who love him forever, but "belonging" is a term used for
have believed or been taught is true, and that the people
property. An adoptee owes his or her parents nothing more
they have trusted all their lives have been systematically
and nothing less than (s)he would if (s)he had actually been
lying to them. It is a shattering discovery that can rip
born to them. To insist otherwise is to put the adopted
their world to shreds. Adoptive parents need to armor their
into a special class. It is to transform children who are
child against this kind of destructive damage by being
"beneficiaries" of this service into objects of charity.
honest about the adoption. It is better for the adoptee to
It is actually a self-pitying plea for gratitude, not an
hear the truth from the ones (s)he trusts and so be able to
honest recognition of the human relationships that have
accept it comfortable. It is also without doubt better to
grown over the years.
learn about adoption when very young, especially when the
child is allowed to continue to ask for and get truthful
Actually, it was the parents who asked to be allowed to
answers to questions as (s)he grows.
adopt, not the child who was asking for a family. These
parents wanted to have the pleasure of watching a young life
grow, much as any other parents would. They did not adopt
(we hopel) as a social statement, or as 8 "good deed", and
EIGHT
they have benefited from the relationship as much as the
AN ADOPTEE IS BOUND BY THE AGREEMENT OF
child. Adoptive parents cannot and should not expect more
than ordinary parents are allowed by custom and law to
ADOPTION; HE HAS A RIGHT ONLY TO THE
expect.
INFORMATION THAT OTHERS ARE WILLING TO
GIVE. HE MUST NEVER CHALLENGE THE WISDOM
SIX
OF THE SEALED RECORD.
SEALED RECORDS PROTECT THE BIRTH MOTHER
Bound by what? Why should an adoptee be required to honor
an agreement he never saw, never read, and never agreed to?
FROM INTRUSION INTO HER LIFE OF THE CHILD
As a slave was obligated to look after his master's property
SHE GAVE AWAY.
(himself), so the adopted are asked to keep promises made by
Sealed records protect no one, least of all the birth
others on their behalf. In most states, an adoptee is not
parent. Sealed off from any knowledge of the child she
ever permitted to see the records of an event that has
lost, ignorant of conditions in the adoptive home, unable to
profoundly changed his life.
get the slightest information from the placing agency, she
cannot know if her son or daughter is curious about her or
Where ordinary parents know and expect that they will see
if the grown adoptee is searching.
their minor children grow into independent adults, capable
of making decisions and managing their own lives, some
Every day, millions of adoptees are searching in this
adoptive parents seem to require that the control they have
country for evidences of their births and ancestry. And
over their children should extend over the child's entire
they are finding, in spite of sealed records, uncooperative
life. No matter how old that "child" becomes, he will never
agencies and courts, and discouragement from every side.
be old enough to decide for himself how much he wants to
with no way to communicate with the birth mother, they
know, and never will be old enough to be trusted with the
hesitantly, tentatively reach toward her. At any moment,
entire truth.
the telephone or the mailman can shatter the birth mother's
Illusion that sealed records are her protection.
As one adoptee said, "I will honor any contract or agreement
that I myself have read, understood, and signed. But I did
Most birth mothers did not ask for this protection, did not
not and will not agree to lose my rights through an
want it, and are delighted when their grown son or daughter
agreement signed by others years ago. I never agreed to
seeks them out. There are very few birth mothers who did
anything."
not give up their child with grief and deep regret. Most of
them would have preferred to keep their child, if that had
Too many of our states still carry on their books laws that
been possible at the time.
reflect these antique and prejudicial attitudes toward
adoption and adoptees. It is high time that a fresh breath
Sealed records, whatever you may have heard about them, were
of common sense should blow the cobwebs off these laws 80
actually designed to keep the adoptive parents happy - free
people can see them for what they are monuments to
from the worry that someone would take their hard-won child
ignorance and fear.
away from them. Sealed records assure adoptive parents that
they are indeed "real."
Copyright The Alma Society
SEVEN
Provided by Vanda Wilson, Lafayette, IN
ADOPTEES ARE BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING
THAT THEY ARE ADOPTED. THEY WILL THEN
NEVER NEED TO SEARCH, AND WILL NOT GROW
UP FEELING "DIFFERENT."
ICARE NEWSLETTER
FALL, 1995
LETTER FROM THE DIRECTORS
In the past year, ICARE supporters have been financially generous. This has allowed ICARE
to obtain a post office box, cover photocopying expenses, purchase business cards, advertising,
office supplies and postage in order to remind legislators of our concerns and keep you all informed,
and ICARE hosted a successful conference which included start up costs of postage, copying,
meals for the keynote speaker, fees for conference site and so on. In approximately 1 - 1/2 years
ICARE has made a difference in Illinois but, our road is not completely paved.
With that in mind, to help commemorate National Adoption Awareness Month in November,
ICARE is currently working on assembly of a packet of progressive information concerning adoption
to be distributed to Illinois legislators. The information will be varied but, mostly focus on the
Illinois surrender process and open records. We have determined the presentation will be an
expandable manilla folder contained in a gray envelope, with an outside label that will possibly read
something like, "CONFIDENTIAL -- SEALED RECORDS". Our aim is to provide information to
legislators that can be easily extracted by the piece as interest or need arises and to provide
information that can be incorporated and added to at a later date. To save on postage, where
possible, the folders will be hand delivered. However, there will be photocopying expenses and
miscellaneous costs associated with office supplies and assembly.
ICARE is hoping our supporters will be generous this Fall in making donations. Any
donation will be appreciated to help us cover the costs of our Fall project to further our mission of
providing quality and accurate adoption information to legislators and others who will ultimately
help us make changes.
Thank you for your help and support.
Sincerely,
Cindy Bonnie ten
Cindy Bonnie Ken
FOR YOUR PIN
SEND YOUR $250
#2.50 EACH
CHECK MADE PAYABLE
To: ICARE
Birthparents Care Forever
P.O. Box 8393
NORTHFIELD, IL 60093
NAME:
STREET:
INCLUDES
CITY, ,STATE,ZIP:
THANKYOU!
RED WITH WHITE
LETTERING - APPROX. ACTUAL SIZE
YOU-CAN DO IT! SUPPORT ICARE
I
LLINOIS
C
OUNCIL FOR
A
DOPTION
P. O. Box 8393
R
EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD, IL 60093
E DUCATION
PHONE/FAX 708/446-1615
We need your financial support for outreach projects. With your contribution you
will be notified of upcoming events and actions. ICARE needs people power to
continue the mission. Please help by making a financial donation and checking
the box below that best describes your talent:
Benefactor $100.00
Mailings
Supporter $ 50.00
Phone Calls
Friend
$ 25.00
Speakers Bureau
Other, any amount appreciated
Fundraising
Legislative Letter Writing
Outreach
Hospitality
Other
Please make checks payable to ICARE and mail
to P. O. Box 8393, Northfield, Illinois 60093
Name:
Address:
City, State and Zip:
Phone:
Questions? Please call 708/446-1615
Thank you for your support. Your donation is NOT tax deductible.
CALENDAR OF EVENTS
SEPTEMBER 17. 1995 ICARE FUNDRAISER 6:30 8:30 PM
"THOUGHTS ON ADOPTION". A READING OF ORIGINAL WRITINGS
SINGLE TICKET - $7.50 OR TWO TICKETS FOR $12.00
LOCATION: 835 RIDGE. PARTY ROOM. EVANSTON. FOR RESERVATIONS
GALL: 708/446-1615
SEPTEMBER 27 OCTOBER 1. 1995 CERA CONFERENCE. NEW YORK
CONTACT: 212/988-0110
OCTOBER 21, 1995 FALL ADOPTION CONFERENCE. "THE HEALING POWER
OF THE FAMILY". MENOMONIE. WISCONSIN, CONTACT: 715/833-0992
NOVEMBER 1 . 5. 1995 CONCERNED UNITED BIRTHPARENTS NATIONAL RETREAT
CONTACT: 1-800-456-6244
NOVEMBER 5. 1995 "UNDERSTANDING ADOPTION: A LIFELONG JOURNEY"
SCHAUMBURG. ILLINOIS. CONTACT: 708/459-0677
-2-
URGENT ACTION ALERT!!
United States Congress Representative, Deborah Pryce, of 221 Cannon,
House Office Building, Washington, D. C. 20515 has proposed federal
legislation that, according to the Adoptive Families Magazine, July/August 1995
issue, would modify the Indian Child Welfare Act to require the heritage of a
Native American child to be established at birth. Retroactive effects of
admission to tribal membership would be disallowed if HR 1448 becomes law.
According to the Representative's office, as of August 25, 1995, the bill has
progressed through hearings and debate. It was introduced in the Senate as bill
number S 764. At the moment, Representative Pryce's office is looking for co-
sponsors and hoping to attach the bill to another piece of legislation that will
pass into law the first week of October, 1995. Please write Representative
Pryce at the above address or call her office at, 202/225-2015 to express your
opposition. Representative Pryce is a former Judge and an adoptive parent.
Also, you might want to call the U.S. Congress docket room at 202-225-3456 for
a copy of HR 1448 or, call 202-225-3121 to learn the identification of your U.S.
Congressperson and please write that person as well.
ICARE supports family preservation and recognizes the significance of
the Indian Child Welfare Act. ICARE believes the Indian Child Welfare Act
supports biological connections to family of origin and discourages possible
exploitation and coercion that often times exists in the arena of infant adoption.
Modification of the Indian Child Welfare Act, such as HR 1448, would be a step
back in time by ignoring the ethnic and cultural ties to one's background. We
have been in touch with Pat Tyson at the Illinois office of Indian Affairs. Native
Americans across the country view passage of the above legislation as a move
to dismantle the Indian Child Welfare Act, they are more than concerned. If you
want to help please call Pat Tyson at 312/784-1050. In Illinois, a distressed
Native American mother recently won custody and return of her baby. She had
surrendered her infant to adoption via the Easter House agency in Chicago. The
Easter House has been operating on a temporary license for more than a
decade. It is our belief that, in this case, the surrender was obtained by
coercive methods. If HR 1448 were to pass into law, that Illinois mother would
NOT have been able to regain custody of her child. You may wonder why HR
1448 and S 764 is important to all adoption reformers. First, and foremost, it is
important that we all support each other and secondly, the Indian Child Welfare
Act could be a vehicle we can all use as precedent setting legislation for overall
reform. If the Act is dismantled we will no longer have it as a model, plus we will
have lost valuable history lessons. ICARE is opposed to HR 1448 AND S 764.
ICARE NEWSLETTER Winter issue deadline -- December 15, 1995.
Mail all political action, informational, or calendar type submissions to: ICARE,
P. O. Box 8393, Northfield, Illinois 60093. The next issue will be mailed
January, 1996. ***
-3-
AN EVENING WITH REPRESENTATIVE JAN SCHAKOWSKY
BY BONNIE BIS
IN THIS UPHILL BATTLE OF ADOPTION REFORM, UPON WHICH WE'VE
EMBARKED. IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHO YOUR ALLIES ARE. WE'VE DISCOVERED AT LEAST
ONE FRIEND IN THE THE ILLINOIS LEGISLATURE. REPRESENTATIVE JAN SCKAKOWSKY (D-
EVANSTON). WITH WHOM I AND TWO OTHER ICARE SUPPORTERS/CONSTITUENTS MET WITH
ON A SWELTERING EVENING IN AUGUST.
JAN HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CHAMPION OF WOMEN AND CHILDREN'S RIGHTS. AND ATTENDED THE
FIRST ICARE PUBLIC MEETING LAST JUNE, 1994. SHE RECENTLY OFFERED TO MEET WITH
US TO ASSIST IN DEVELOPING A PLAN TO EDUCATE THE LEGISLATORS ON OUR ISSUES. SINCE
WE'VE CHOSEN TO TARGET THE SURRENDER PROCESS AS OUR FIRST REFORM ISSUE. WE
WANTED TO APPEAL TO THE BASIC INEQUITIES IN THE SURRENDER PROCESS, BY PROPOSING
THE FOLLOWING CHANGES:
1.
EXTEND THE 72 HOUR PERIOD BEFORE SURRENDER PAPERS ARE SIGNED BY THE
SURRENDERING MOM.
2.
ESTABLISH A REVOCATION PERIOD DURING WHICH THE BIRTHMOTHER GAN CHANGE
HER MIND.
3.
PROVIDE FOR INDEPENDENT COUNSELING OF AVAILABLE OPTIONS TO ENABLE THE
BIRTHMOTHER TO REACH AN INFORMED DECISION.
4.
IF ADOPTION IS THE CHOICE. PROVIDE THE BIRTHMOTHER WITH AN ADVOCATE TO
REPRESENT HER IN ARRANGING THE ADOPTION.
JAN GRACIOUSLY GAVE US TWO HOURS OF HER TIME AND ATTENTION THAT EVENING. AND WE
GAME AWAY WITH MUCH TO THINK ABOUT CONCERNING OUR APPROACH. WHAT IS MOST
IMPORTANT FOR OUR CAUSE. I BELIEVE. IS NOT TO BE PERCEIVED AS ANTI-ADOPTION BUT.
RATHER TO APPEAL TO THE BASIC INEQUITIES TO MOTHERS AND CHILDREN IN THE CURRENT
ADOPTION SYSTEM AND IN THE END. MAKE ADOPTIONS SAFER FOR EVERYONE. No ONE
WANTS TO SEE ANOTHER BABY JESSICA OR BABY RICHARD GASE, AND MOST ADOPTIVE
PARENTS DO NOT WANT A BIRTHMOTHER WHO IS NOT COMMITTED TO HER DECISION. OUR
PROPOSAL WOULD PROVIDE FOR AN "INFORMED CHOICE" FOR BIRTHMOTHERS.
IF YOU HAVE HAD ONE-ON-ONE MEETINGS WITH YOUR LEGISLATORS, PLEASE WRITE AND LET
US HEAR ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES. WE HAVE OTHER MEETINGS WITH VARIOUS
REPRESENTATIVES IN MIND. AND ARE INTERESTED IN KNOWING WHAT OTHER "ALLIES" YOU
HAVE FOUND IN ILLINOIS GOVERNMENT.
THE NATIONAL FATHERHOOD INITIATIVE
According to the Utne Reader, July/August, 1995 issue, The National Fatherhood
Initiative has been founded by Don E. Eberly, a former White House aide. Mr. Eberly believes,
"that men must commit themselves to their children, and that communities in turn must commit
to supporting and encouraging good fathers." To connect with NFI, contact: 600 Eden Road,
Bldg E, Lancaster, PA 17601; 717/581-8860; FAX 717/581-8862.
-4-
PREPARED BY
AS PROMISED
KEN ABRAHAM
MEDIA FAX LIST AND E-MAIL ADDRESSES
NEWSPAPER AND MAGAZINE
TELEVISION
ASSOCIATED PRESS
312-781-9213
ABC
312-899-4028
BOLINGBROOK SUN
708-759-1726
CBS
212-975-1519
BRIDGEPORT NEWS
312-842-5097
CBS NEWS
312-951-3321
BUSINESS WEEK
312-616-3366
CLTV
708-368-4468
CHAMPAIGN GAZETTE
217-359-5374
NEWS
[email protected]
CHICAGO BUSINESS REVIEW
312-851-1430
CNBC
312-341-3020
CHICAGO CATHOLIC
312-243-1526
CNN
312-645-8560
CHICAGO CITY HALL PRESS ROOM
312-744-6824
NBC
312-527-0913
CHICAGO DAILY LAW BULLETIN
312-844-4255
WBBM (2)
CHICAGO JEWISH NEWS
312-728-3734
PROGRAMMING
312-951-3877
CHICAGO JEWISH STAR
708-674-0014
NEWS DIRECTOR
312-951-1770
CHICAGO LIFE
312-880-1323
GEN. MANAGER
312-951-3259
CHICAGO MAGAZINE
312-222-0699
VIEWER RESPONSE
312-664-8592
CHICAGO PARENT
708-524-0447
STATION
[email protected]
EDITOR
[email protected]
BILL KURTIS
[email protected]
CHICAGO POST
312-463-5544
WCFC (38)
312-433-3839
CHICAGO REPORTER
312-427-8130
WCIU (26)
312-705-2676
CHICAGO SHORELINE NEWS
312-928-6056
WFLD (32)
CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
NEWS
312-819-0420
FEATURE
312-321-3679
GEN. MANAGER
312-819-0820
NEWS
312-321-3084
WGN (9)
312-528-8050
NEWS
312-321-3096
STATION
[email protected]
RICHARD ROEPER
[email protected]
GARRY MEIER
[email protected]
DENNIS BRYNE
[email protected]
WLS (7)
312-750-7050
ART GOLAB
[email protected]
WMAQ (5)
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
NEWS
312-527-5925
CITY DESK
312-222-3143
GEN. MANAGER
312-527-4825
EDITORIAL
312-222-2598
WTTW (11)
312-583-3046
FEATURES
312-222-0236
HOWARD TYNER
[email protected]
TV PROGRAMS
RICH CICCONE
[email protected]
CHICAGO UNION TEACHER
312-329-6200
OPRAH
312-633-1111
CHRISTIAN CENTURY
312-427-1302
JENNY JONES
312-836-9473
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
617-450-7575
JERRY SPRINGER
312-321-5353
CITY NEWS BUREAU
312-201-0603
MORTON DOWNEY
312-803-1876
CONSCIOUS CHOICE
312-751-3973
KURTIS PRODUCTIONS
312-951-8251
DAILY HERALD
ARLINGTON HTS
708-398-0172
RADIO
LISLE
708-955-0895
VERNON HILLS
708-680-0189
WBBM-AM
312-951-3674
BURT CONSTABLE
[email protected]
WBBM-FM
312-944-7273
JACK MABLEY
[email protected]
DICK HELTON
[email protected]
DAILY NORTHWESTERN
708-491-9905
CRAIG DELLIMORE
[email protected]
DEFENDER
312-225-9231
WCKG
312-565-3180
FEELEY NEWS BUREAU
708-251-7188
HOWARD STERN
Howi [email protected]
GAY CHICAGO MAGAZINE
312-327-0112
WGM
GOVERNING
202-862-0032
STATION
312-222-5165
ILLINOIS LEGAL TIMES
312-654-3525
NEWS
312-222-5977
INSIDE CHICAGO
312-784-6094
BOB COLLINS
Chicago Online: Bob WGN
KANE COUNTY CHRONICLE
708-232-4962
SPIKE O'DELL
[email protected]
LEADER
312-283-7761
IAN PUNNETT
[email protected]
LERNER NEWSPAPERS
312-281-0740
WIND
312-664-2472
MALCOLM X-PRESS
312-850-7323
WJJD/WJMK
312-977-1859
MESSENGER PUBLICATIONS
708-385-7811
WLS
NEAR NORTH NEWS
312-787-2680
STATION
312-984-5305
NEAR WEST GAZETTE
312-243-4270
PROGRAM DIR.
312-984-5295
NEWSWEEK
312-938-9106
JAY MARVIN
[email protected]
NORTH SHORE JOURNAL
708-491-0421
ED CURRAN
[email protected]
NORTH SHORE MAGAZINE
708-441-8505
RUCH LIMBAUGH
[email protected]
PEOPLE WEEKLY
312-321-7864
WLUP/WMVP
312-440-9377
PIONEER PRESS
WMAQ
312-245-6098
BARRINGTON
708-381-5840
WMBI
312-329-4468
EVANSTON
708-866-0965
WNUA
312-645-9652
GLENVIEW
708-486-7451
CHAR. MEYERSON
[email protected]
OAK PARK
708-383-3878
PARK RIDGE
708-896-3229
POLITICIANS
READER
312-828-9926
PATE PHILIPS
708-832-2356
REUTERS
312-922-6657
TOM DART
217-788-1551
312-238-9504
SPRINGFIELD STATE JOURNAL
HILLARY RODHAM-CLINTON
TIME
312-321-7965
202-456-2461
TODAY'S CHICAGO WOMAN
312-951-9083
U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORT
312-329-1549
USA TODAY
312-527-9089
UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL
312-781-1603
WALL STREET JOURNAL
312-750-4153
312-750-4153
WEST SIDE JOURNAL
708-339-8769
WINDY CITY TIMES
312-935-1853
-5-
INTERESTED IN HELPING??
*** ICARE IS INTERESTED IN WORKING AT THE NORTHWESTERN
UNIVERSITY HOME FOOTBALL GAMES IN FOOD CONCESSIONS. WITH AS FEW AS
3 PEOPLE AND A TIME COMMITMENT FROM 10:30 AM TO 3:30 PM FOR 2
SATURDAYS. ICARE CAN POSSIBLY EARN AS MUCH AS $400.00 AND HAVE
FUN AT THE SAME TIME. FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS ARE WELCOME TO
JOIN IN. FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CALL ICARE AT 708/446-1615.
YOUR HELP WILL BE APPRECIATED. ***
NEWS AND INFORMATION
CONCERNING THE SOUNDEX REGISTRY
ICARE recently contacted ISRR for information about their Registry. We
learned that Soundex receives 18,000 - 20,000 yearly inquiries. WOW! More
adoptees contact ISRR than any other triad member, with birthmothers following
at second and siblings finishing up at third. February is the most active month.
The Soundex makes 500 - 600 matches annually. No state or country
government has ever contacted the ISRR to ask for testimony. ISRR wants,
"Open records NOW!" They concluded the questionnaire we sent by writing,
"Let any person who desires confidentiality opt for it personally!" The Soundex
is funded completely by donations. If you would like to help them with their work,
please contact the International Soundex Reunion Registry, Post Office Box
2312, Carson City, Nevada 89702.
Did you know the ILLINOIS ADOPTION REGISTRY existed?
The Illinois Adoption Registry was established in 1985 and accepts
registries from birthparents, adoptees (over the age of 21 years who were born
in Illinois), and birth siblings of adopted persons. Adoptees between 18 and 21
years old may register with the written consent of both adoptive parents.
Upon completing the Registry Identification form and paying a filing fee of
$40.00, a applicant can complete either an Information Exchange Authorization
or a Denial of Information Exchange form. Matches are only made if both
birthparent and adult adoptee have authorized the release of identifying
information to one another. No medical or social background information is
released.
In the 10 years of its' existence, the Registry has facilitated only 17
reunions. We feel this is primarily due to the fact that there is no requirement
nor budget (commitment on the part of the State of Illinois) to inform the public of
the availability of such a registry. You can obtain registration forms by
contacting the Illinois Department of Health in Springfield.
ISRR REGISTRATION FORM
MAIL THIS FORM DIRECTLY TO:
NO FEE CHARGED FOR REGISTRATION
ISRR REGISTRAR
STATE OF
SECTION
ONE
TWO
POST OFFICE BOX 2312
CONFIDENTIAL
CARSON CITY, NEVADA 89702
FILE NUMBER
SOUNDEX ENTRY
CODE LINE
Please do not write above this line
PRESENT NAME (Please Print)
ADDRESS
/
/
/
(street address)
(town)
(state)
(zip code)
TELEPHONE NUMBER
1
SOCIAL SECURITY
REFERRED BY ISRR AFFILIATE (OR OTHER)
SEARCHER IS: ADOPTEE
ADOPTIVE PARENT
FOSTER CHILD
FOSTER PARENT
DIVORCED PARENT
CHILD OF DIVORCE
FOUNDLING
ORPHAN
OTHER
BIRTH PARENT
OTHER NEXT-OF-KIN BY BIRTH
Fill out this form as completely as possible in respect to the adoptee, or other child as facts were
known when the separation occurred.
* PLEASE PRINT *
NAME AT BIRTH
SEX - MALE FEMALE
DATE OF BIRTH - MONTH
DAY
YEAR
TIME
AM
PM
CHILD / ADOPTEE
PLACE OF BIRTH (HOSPITAL OR OTHER)
CITY
COUNTY
STATE
NAME OF ATTENDING PHYSICIAN, OR OTHER
BIRTH CERTIFICATE #
FILED
AMENDED
WAS THIS A SINGLE BIRTH?
PLURAL BIRTH?
IF A PLURAL BIRTH, SEPARATED FROM EACH OTHER BY ADOPTION?
MALE
FEMALE
NAME(S)
MAIDEN NAME
NICKNAME
NAME USED BY MOTHER AT BIRTH OF THIS CHILD
AGE
BIRTH MOTHER
NAME USED BY PARENT ON RELINQUISHMENT, OR CONSENT
DATE OF BIRTH
TOWN
STATE
MARITAL STATUS
RELIGION
OCCUPATION
EDUCATIONAL LEVEL
MILITARY SERVICE
MARRIED TO BIRTH FATHER?
HEIGHT
WEIGHT
HAIR
EYES
PARENTS
NAME
NICKNAME
BIRTH FATHER
DATE OF BIRTH
TOWN
STATE
AGE
MARITAL STATUS
RELIGION
EDUCATIONAL LEVEL
OCCUPATION
MILITARY SERVICE
HEIGHT
WEIGHT
HAIR
EYES
PARENTS
DOES THE ADOPTEE HAVE BROTHER OR SISTER BY BIRTH?
BY MOTHER
BY FATHER
NAMES
/
/
/
ADOPTEE - NAME BY ADOPTION
NICKNAME
ADOPTIVE MOTHER
ADOPTIVE FATHER
COURT OF JURISDICTION (BY NAME)
TOWN
COUNTY
STATE
CASE NUMBER, OR DECREE
FILED
FINAL
ATTORNEY OF RECORD
GUARDIAN-AD-LITEM
PLACING AGENCY
TOWN
STATE
SOCIAL WORKER
INTERMEDIARY
1, the undersigned hereby give my permission to the International Soundex Reunion Registry to release this vital information to
the person (s) for whom this search is conducted. I understand this permission is necessary for verification of identity, and my
relationship to the missing person.
SIGNATURE
DATE
ALTERNATE ADDRESS AND/OR PHONE
"THIS IS YOUR REGISTRY - YOUR CONTRIBUTION IS TAX DEDUCTIBLE"
O
COPYRIGHT 1979, EMMA MAY VILARDI
7-
X
THANK YOU!
Rev. 8/89 USA-1
NORTHFIELD. ILLINOIS 60093
P. O. BOX 8393
ICARE
ILLINOIS COUNCIL FOR ADOPTION REFORM
AND EDUCATION (ICARE)
ICARE SEEKS TO PROMOTE HONESTY, OPENNESS AND INTEGRITY IN THE
ADOPTION PROCESS THROUGH EDUCATION, ADVOCACY AND LEGISLATIVE
REFORM. WE BELIEVE THAT ADOPTION LAW AND PRACTICE SHOULD BE CHILD
CENTERED, RESPONSIVE TO THE NEEDS OF ALL FAMILY MEMBERS, AND BE
GROUNDED IN RESEARCH, CURRENT ADOPTION LITERATION AND THE
EXPERIENCES OF THOSE WHOSE LIVES HAVE BEEN IMPACTED BY ADOPTION.
1 LLINOIS
C OUNCIL FOR
A DOPTION
P.O. Box 8393
R EFORM AND
NORTHFIELD IL 60093
E DUGATION
708/446-1615
ILLINOIS SEARCH AND SUPPORT ADOPTION GROUPS
ADOPTION SEARCH AND
TRUSTI SEEKERS IN ADOPTION
SUPPORT GROUP
P.O. Box 366
1701 RIVERVIEW DR.
PROSPECT HEIGHTS. IL 60070-0366
MACOMIS, ILLINOIS 61455
708/342-8742
309/836-3809
ADOPTION TRIANGLE
FAMILY ORIGINS
BETH DUENSING
SANDY Joyce
Box 384
3567 GRAND AVE. #B121
PARK FOREST. ILLINOIS 60460
GURNEE IL 60031
219/365-2835
708/855-1903
ADOPTION TRIANGLE
ADOPTEES LIBERTY MOVEMENT
512 ONEIDA STREET
Assoc. (ALMA)
JOLIET. ILLINOIS 60435
P. O. Box 23255
815/722-4999
BELLEVILLE ILLINOIS 62223
618/538-5599
ALMA
ALMA
P.O. Box 81
P.O. Box 59345
BLOOMINGTON. ILLINOIS 61701
CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 60659
309/828-2217
312/631-5816
ALMA
P. O. Box 1802
SHOKIE ILLINOIS 60076
708/967-5378
AMERICAN ADOPTION CONGRESS
MIDWEST ADOPTION CENTER
BONNIE Bis. STATE REPRESENTATIVE
CONFIDENTIAL INTERMEDIARY
835 RIDGE AVE., #208
3166 S. RIVER ROAD
EVANSTON. IL 60201
DES PLAINES. IL 60018
708/475-4095
708/298-9097
CHICAGO BRANCH
HEALING HEARTS. INC.
CONCERNED UNITED BIRTHPARENTS
P.O. Box 606
835 RIDGE. APT. 208
NORMAL.. ILLINOIS 61761
EVANSTON ILLINOIS 60202
309/692-3038
708/328-1686
HERITAGE FINDERS
MISSING Pieces
1102 ERE STREET
P.O. Box 7541
ELGIN. ILLINOIS 60123
SPRINGFIELD. IL 62791-7541
708/741-2189
217/787-8450
HERITAGE FINDERS
HIDDEN BIRTHRIGHT
20955 S. GANTERBURY
100 CUMBERLAND
SHOREWOOD. ILLINOIS 60436
ROCHESTER. ILLINOIS 62568
815/725-8960
LAKE PARTNERS INC.
REFLECTIONS
3 HAWTHORN Provide #140
606 SHIPLEY STREET
VERNON this ILLINOIS 60061
GARMI. ILLINOIS 62821
708/680-7525
61888233142
SEARCH CONNECTION
MIKE EGAN ISC'
THE LOST CONNECTION
P.O. Box 2425
2210 N. ILLINOIS. Serie 155
BRIDGEVIEW. ILLINOIS 60455
BELLEVILLE ILLINOIS 62221-2918
708/130-9133
618/235-9409
*INDEPENDENT SEARCH CONSULTANT
ICARE MISSION STATEMENT
IGARE SEEKS TO PROMOTE HONESTY. OPENNESS AND INTEGRITY IN THE ADOPTION PROCESS THROUGH EDUCATION ADVOCACY AND LEGISLATIVE REFORM.
WE BELIEVE THAT ADOPTION LAW AND PRACTICE SHOULD BE CHILD CENTERED. RESPONSIVE 10 THE NEEDS OF ALL FAMILY MEMBERS, AND BE GROUNDED IN
RESEARCH CURRENT ADOPTION LITERATURE AND THE EXPERIENCES OF THOSE WHOSE LIVES HAVE BEEN IMPACTED BY ADOPTION
10/95 ILGROUP.
RA Affiliates: Search/Support Groups
Adoptees Search & Referral Source, 813-942-1462
Roots and Reunions, 906-635-5922
option Crossroads, (HQ) 212-988-0110
PO Box 3412, Hollday, FL 34690-3412
210 Barbeau St Sault Ste. Marle, MI 49783-2402
E. 74th St., NY, NY 10021-3919
Nati Org/Birthfather/Adopt Reform 813-575-0948
Post Adoption Support Services, 906-428-4861
awster, Buffalo, Congers, Queens & Merrick, NY;
1139 Bal Harbor Blvd, Punta Gorda, FL 33950
1221 Minnesota Ave., Gladstone, MI 49837
en & White Plains NY; Concord VT; Paris France
Mother & Child Reunion, 407-878-9101
Minnesota Reunion Registry, 612-433-5211
2219 SW MI Vernon St, Port St Lucie, FL 34953
23247 Lofton Court No. Scandla, MN 55073-9752
ption Forum, (HQ) 215-238-1116
S. 4th St, Suite 3465, Philadelphia, PA 19147
Orlando TRIAD, 407-877-8711
Liberal Ed. for Adoptive Families, 612-436-2218
2359 Summerfield Rd, Winter Garden, FL 32792
23247 Lofton Court No. Scandia, MN 55073-9752
amisburg, Lehigh Valley & New Hope, PA
ilmington, DE (Call Philadelphia Office)
Adoptee Birthparent Connection, 404-642-9063
Adoptee Searches, Inc. 800-434-0020
4565 Pond Lane, Marietta, GA 30062
PO Box 803, Chesterfield, MO 63006-0803
hparent Support Network (HQ) 914-682-2250
Adoption Beginnings, 404-590-9836
Birthparent Connection
Box 120, N. White Plains, NY 10603
PO Box 440121, Kennesaw, GA 30144
121 Weiss Avenue, St Louis, MO 63125
)B 34 Old Bethpage. NY 11804, 516-785-0886
Adoption Circle of Hawail, 808-625=1841
Sup Open Adop Recs Srch/Sup Gp, 314-828-5726
9 Coney Is. Ave Bklyn NY 11218 718-284-0666
PO Box 61723, Honolulu, HI 96839
4589 Hopewell Road, Wentzyllle, MO 63385
Main St, Queensbury, NY, 518-798-2133
Committee/Adoption Reform/Educ., 808-373-9747
Kansas City Adult Adoptees, 816-356-5213
olina Adoption Triangle Support, 919-732-2751
55 Niuild Circle, Honolulu, HI 96821
PO Box 11828, Kansas City, MO 64138-9998
; West Queen Street, Hillsborough, NC,
Family Search Services, 515-255-0356
Connecting Adoptees, 816-333-5656
rilington & Raleigh, NC (Call Hillsborough Office)
PO Box 30106, Des Moines, IA 50310
PO Box 30252, Kansas City, MO 64112
ncerned United Birthparents
Adoption Support Group, 208-726-8543
Adoption Information Network, 601-482-7556
Mile Hill Rd, Boysiton, MA 01505 508-869-6774
PO Box 2316, Ketchum, ID 83340
PO Box 4154, Meridian, MS 39304
B 15258 Chevy Chase, MD 20825 301-292-3922
Search Finders of Idaho, 208-375-9803
Birthmothers Easing the Hurt, 910-386-4274
7 Dogwood Rd, Millersvil, MD 21108 410-544-0083
PO Box 7941, Boise, ID 83707
PO Box 266, Dobson, NC 27017
1, box 224A, Petersburg, NY 12138 518-658-2972
IL Coalition for Adoption Reform, 708-441-7581
Adoption Information Exchange, 704-846-8025
th Carolina Adoption Connections, 919-967-5010
244 Latrobe Avenue, Northfield, IL 60093
PO Box 1917, Matthews, NC. 28106
Box 4153, Chapel Hill, NC 27515
The Lost Connection, 618-235-9409
Adoption Search Consultants, 704-846-8025
inville: 704-254-8248, Raleigh: 919-876-8564
2210 N Illinois St, #155, Belleville, IL 62221
PO Box 1917, Matthews, NC 28106
ungsville: 919-556-8355
Missing Pieces, 217-787-8450
Missing Links, 704-391-2693
PO Box 7541, Springfield, IL 62791-7541
8714 Lowwoods Circle, Charlotte, NC 28214
han Voyage (HQ) 303-856-3937
Adoption Triangle, 219-365-0574
Adoptees Search of Enlightenment, 910-695--0603
:1 Road 2300, Cedaredge, CO 81413
PO Box 384, Park Forest, IL 60466
365 W. Illinois Avenue, Southern Pines, NC 28387
04 Hlway 53, Toney, AL 35773-9507
) Box 8245, Scottsdale, AZ 85252 602-990-1890
Adoptees Identity Doorway, 219-272-3520
Adoption Issues & Education, 919-975-1510
PO Box 361, South Bend, IN 46624
PO Box 768, Vanceboro, NC 28586
906 Pepperell Dr, Tampa, FL 33624 813-961-1393
A.B.S.E.N.T. 317-436-7257
Adoption Triad Midwest, 402-895-3706
05 Augustine Ct, Coll Sta, TX 77840 409-764-7157
711 W Plum Street, Thorntown, IN 46071-1249
PO Box 37273, Omaha, NE. 68137
11 Southminster, Houston, TX 77035 713-723-1762
Search for Tomorrow, 219-749-4392
Living in Search of Answers, 603-357-5218
efitting Birthparents, Inc. 205-923-4834
PO Box 441, New Haven, IN 46774
PO Box 215, Glisum, NH 03448
5 Avenue V. #32. Birmingham, AL 35208
Indiana Adoption Coalition, 317-453-4427
Adoption Bonding Circle, 603-542-6206
ama Adoption Allance, 205-246-3997
PO Box 1292, Kokomo, IN 46901
RR2, Box 125, Claremont, NH 03743
Box 1221, Jackson, AL 36545
Support of Search, 317-453-4427
Circle of Hope, 603-692-6320
rch Trlad Inc., 602-977-1320
PO Box 1292, Kokomo, IN 46901
PO Box 127, Somersworth, NH 03878
Box 10181, Phoenix, AZ. 85064-0181
Coping With Adoption 317-472-7425
NJ Coalition/Openness In Adoption 201-358-0976
AD, 602-790-6320
61 County Farm Road, Peru, IN 46970
189 Cosman Street, Twp of Washington, NJ 07675
5 E. Freestone Drive, Tucson, AZ 85730
Lafayette Adoption Srch/Supt Org., 317-567-4139
Adoption Reunion Coalition of NJ, 908-739-9365
at Adoptee Support Group. 602-885-6771
5936 Lookout Drive, W. Lafayette, IN 47906
15 Fir Place, Hazlet, NJ 07730
.7 E Marquise Drive, Tucson, AZ 85715
Adoption Concerns Triangle, 913-357-1581
Sharing Hope: Adoptl. Reunion Experience, 609-698-7121
cers, Ltd., 602-885-5958
1427 N. Harrison, Topeka, KS 66608
55 Highland Drive, Barnegat NJ 08005
:1 E. 38th Street, Tucson, AZ 85731-1851
Witchita Adult Adoptees, 316-522-8772
Adopt Reunion Coallt.Jersey Shore, 908-681-6348
ption Suppt Gp of Santa Monica 310-829-1438
4551 S. Osage, Witchita, KS 67217-4743
3047 Governor's Crossing, Wall, NJ 07719
2 26th SL, #103, Santa Monica, CA 90404
Adoptee Awareness, 502-245-2811
Adoptive Parents for Open Records, 908-850-1706
id in Hand Adoption Support
PO Box 23019, Anchorage, KY 40223
PO Box 193, Long Valley, NJ 07853
Teasdale St, Thousand Oaks, CA 91360
Birthmothers Sharing, 502-491-0172, 271-5926
Origins 201-428-9683
1 Femando Vy Triad Srch/Supt 818-347-9690
PO Box 73184, Bellevue, KY. 41073-0184
PO Box 556, Whippany, NJ 07981
Box 16656, North Hollywood, CA, 91615
Adoptees' Birthrights Committee, 504-835-4284
Adoption Support Gp of S. Jersey, 609-748-8126
hparent Connection, 619-753-8288
PO Box 9442, Metarie, LA 70005
32 Trotters Lane, Smithville, NJ 08201-3804
Box 230643, Encinitas, CA, 92023
Adoption Connection of LA, 504-454-7728
Adoption Support Network, Inc. 609-653-4242
ption Connection of San Diego, 619-753-8288
7301 W Judge Perez, Suite 311, Arabi, LA 70032
505 W. Hamilton Ave, #207, Linwood, NJ 08221
Box 230643, Encinitas, CA, 92023
Adoption Triad Network, Inc. 318-984-3682
Adoption Support Gp of Central NJ 908-874-8983
plees'/Birthparents' Association, 805-482-8667
PO Box 3932, Lafayette, LA. 70502
PO Box 362. Belle Meade, NJ 08502
Box 33, Camarillo, CA, 93011
TRY-Resource/Referral Center 413-584-6599
Reunions: The Next Step. 212-867-1918
ption With Truth, 415-704-9349
PO Box 989 Northampton, MA 01061-0989
305 E 40th St, #12-V, New York, NY 10016
Panoramic Way, Berkeley, CA 94704
C.A.R.E.S., 508-772-2699
Birthmoms of Minors, 212-532-4104, 718-263-4783
CER of Marin, 415-924-7047
20 Blanchard St., Harvard, MA 01451
PO Box 20510, Cherokee Sta. New York, NY 10021
Redwood Ave., Corte Madera, CA 94925
Adoption Triad Seeking Support, 508-949-1919
Manhattan Birthparents Group. 212-289-6782
rch Finders of California, 408-356-6711
10 W Hollow Ln. Webster, MA 01570
PO Box 20137, Cherokee Sta. NY, NY 10021-0062
Box 24595, San Jose, CA 95154
Adoption Connection, 508-532-1261
Foster & Adoptive Parent Network,
fessional Adoption Search Team. 408-978-5430
11 Peabody Square, #6, Peabody, MA 01960
392 Shirley Ave. Staten Island, NY 10312
Box 24095, San Jose, CA 95154-4095
Family Connections. 617-498-9660
Candid Adoption Talk, 914-351-4522
do Lake Adoption Triad, 707-468-0648
1770 Mass Ave. #211, Cambridge. MA 02140
175 Farnhill Rd, Tuxedo, NY 10987
Walnut Avenue, Ukiah, CA 95482
Cape Cod Adoption Connection 508-896-7332
Adoption Group of Orange Cty, Inc. 914-651-7075
County Adoption Search Assoc 916-784-2711
PO Box 336, Brewster, MA 02631
PO Box 156, Chester, NY 10918-0156
Box 1461, Roseville, CA 95661
Adoptees In Search, 301-656-8555
Adoption Support Network of u, 516-248-1929
RI 916-241-6926
PO Box 41016, Bethesda, MD 20824
194 Old Country Road, Mineola, NY 11501
:1 Eastside Road, Redding, CA 96001
Lost or Found. 410-820-5138
Adoptees In Reunion 516-759-9054
ption Answers-Support-Kinship 203-633-3130
7290 Shirley Drive, Easton, MD 21601
11 Janet Lane, Glen Cove, NY 11542
omestead Dr. S. Glastonbury, CT 06073
Adoption Search Consultants of ME, 207-773-3378
Always Support for Adopted People 516-694-4289
ption Healing, 203-846-3281, 866-6475
PO Box 2793, So. Portland, ME 04116
12 Sunset Ave. So., Farmingdale, NY 11735
Hadkik Parkway, So Norwalk, CT 06854
Adoption Sup. Gp of Penobscot Bay 207-372-6322
B'moms In Recovery Thru Healing 516-735-0941
$ That Bind, 203-874-2023
Taylor's Point, Tenant's Harbor, ME 04860
7 Cheryl Place, Massapequa, NY 11758
Box 3119, Milford, CT 06460
Adoption Identity Movement, 313-548-6291
Adoption in Recovery, 518-658-2972
plees In Search, 303-232-6302
PO Box 812, Hazel Park, MI_ 48030-0812
Rte 1, Box 224 A, Petersburg, NY 12138
24556, Denver, CO 80224
Truth In the Adoption Triad, 313-686-3988
Adoptees Political Action Coalition 518-373-0174
plees & Birthparents Together, 303-226-2956
8107 Webster Road, ML Morris, MI 48454
PO Box 2807, Glenville, NY 12302
Garfleld, Fort Collins, CO 80524
Adoption Identity Movement
Triangle of Truth, 315-622-0620
ders Keepers, (HQ) 302-834-8888
PO Box 72, Ortonville, MI 48462
PO Box 2039, Liverpool, NY 13089
Box 748, Bear, DE 19701-0748 & Rehobeth, DE
Bonding By Blood, Unlimited, 517-823-8248
Missing Connection, 315-782-6245
-Florida Adoption Reunions 904-237-1955
4710 Cottrell Road, Vassar, MI 48768
PO Box 712, Brownville, NY 13615
Box 3475, Belleview, FL, 32620
Kalamazoo Birthparent Support Gp, 616-324-0634
Missing Pieces, 315-265-7598
anized Adoption Srch Info Svce 305-757-0942
PO Box 2183, Portage, MI 49081-2183
85 Cty Rd 59, Lot # 16, Potsdam, NY 13676
Box 53-0761, Miami Shores, FL 33153
Adoption Insight, 616-327-1999
B.U.S., 716-924-0410
plee Birthfamily Connection, 407-768-2222
PO Box 171, Portage, MI 49081
PO Box 299, Victor, NY 14564
Box 100444, Palm Bay, FL 32910-0444
Retrace Roots, 616-843-8409
Bloodroots, 607-539-7401
ption Family & Reunion Center, 813-542-1342
PO Box 982, Ludington, MI 49431
620 Central Chapel Rd, Brooktondale, NY 14817
Box 1860, Cape Coral, FL 33910
Adoption Identity Movement, 616-531-1380
B.K.I.D.S., 607-739-2957
RM Network, 813-542-1342
PO Box 9265, Grand Rapids, MI 49509
PO Box 43, Erin, NY 14838
Box 6581, FL Myers, FL 33911
Adoption Triangle Unity, 419-244-7072
Adoption Search/Counsellng Cnsits 206-782-4491
Children's Home Society of VA, 804-353-0191
4144 Packard Rd, Toledo, OH 43613
6201 15th Ave NW, #P210, Seattle, WA 98107
4200 Firzhugh Avenue, Richmond, VA 23230
Adoption Triad Support Center, 216-943-2118
My Family Ties 206-588-9407
Children's Home Society of WV, 304-346-0795
6900 S.O.M. Center Rd, #273, Cleveland, OH 44094
PO Box 9306, Tacoma, WA 98409
1422 Kanawha Blvd, East, Charleston, WV 25330
Adoption Network, 216-261-1511
Tri-Cities Adoption Srch/Supt Gp, 509-546-0363
Family & Child Services 205-595-3621
291 East 222nd St, Rm 229, Cleveland, OH 44123
2130 Hoxie Avenue, Richmond, WA 99352
5201 Airport Hiway, Birmingham, AL 35213
Sunshine Reunions, 216-773-4691
Adoption Information & Direction, 414-233-6487
Kinship Village, 614-235-5777
1175 Virginia Avenue. Akron, OH 44306
PO Box 23764, Milwaukee, WI 53224
2338 E Main Street, Columbus, OH 43209
Birthparents Support, 513-741-0929
Adoption Roots Traced, 414-648-2917
DNA Diagnostics Center, 513-881-7800
3423 Bluerock Rd, Cincinatti, OH 45239
N6795 Hiway A, Lake Mils, WI 53551
205 Corporate Court, Fairfield, OH 45014
Chosen Children, 513-274-8017
Fox Valley Friends in Adoption, 414-766-3213
Americans for African Adoptions. 317-271-4567
311 Springbrook, Dayton, OH 45405
1032 Forestedge Dr., Kaukauna, WI 54130
8910 Timberwood Dr., Indianapolis, IN 46234
Shared Heartbeats, 405-943-4500
Mix & Match/Contact Point, 414-683-2225
Linda Yellin & Associates, 810-489-9570
PO Box 12125, Oklahoma City, OK 73157
PO Box 1141, Manitowoc, WI 54221-1141
27600 Frmingtn #107, Farmingtn Hills, MI 48334
Oklahoma Adoption Triad
Adoption Resource Network, 608-452-3146
Lutheran Services, 314-361-2121
PO Box 2503, Broken Arrow, OK 74013
PO Box 174, Coon Valley, WI 54623-0174
4625 Lindell, Suite 501, St Louis, MO 63108
ANSRS, 503-692-5794
Adoption Resource Network, 715-835-6695
Family Tree Adoption/Counseling Ctr 405-360-8134
9203 SW Cree Circle, Tualatin, OR 97062
PO Box 8221, Eau Claire, WI 54702-8221
448 Claremont Drive, Norman, OK 73069
Oregon Adoptive Rights Assoc. 503-235-3669
Hope Cottage Adoption Center, 214-526-8721
PO Box 882, Portland, OR 97207
Foreign Search/Support
4209 McKinney, #200, Dallas, TX 75205
Family Ties, 503-461-0752
Adoptee's Foreign Searches, 216-238-1004
PACT: An Adoption/Allance 415-221-6957
4537 Souza Street, Eugene, OR 97402
PO Box 360074, Strongsville, OH 44136
3450 Sacramento St. Suite 239, San Francisco, CA 94118
Pittsburgh Adoption Lifeline, 412-443-3370
Adopt-A-Link, 081-642-7064
The OPTIONS Alliance 310-212-5814
PO Box 52. Gibsonia, PA 15044
60 Downside Rd, Sutton, Surrey, England, SM2 5HP
2218 Cabrillo Avenue, Torrance, CA 90501
Altoona, PA (Call Pittsburgh Office)
Ariel Bruce, Associates, 071-833-2969
Adoption Search/Counseling Cnsits 206-782-4491
Pittsburgh Adoption Connection, 412-279-2511
6 Regent Square, London, England WC1 H8HZ
6201 15th Ave NW, #P210, Seattle, WA 98107
37 Edgecliff Road, Camegie, PA 15106
Searchline of Canada, 613-825-1640
Casey Family Program, 206-286-4450
Adoption Healing, 412-322-5607
63 Holbom Avenue, Ottawa, ON, Canada K2C 3H1
200 Elliott Ave. W. #110, Seattle, WA 98119
3329 Perryville Ave, Apt A, Pittsburgh, PA 15205
Parent Finders, Nati HQ 604-980-6005
IMAGINE Adoption Counseling Center, 403-245-5005
Parents/Adoptees Support Together, 814-899-1483
3998 Bayridge Ave, W. Vancouver, BC V7V 3J5
30 Edgewood Rise, NW, Calgary, AL T3A 217 Canada
8130 Hawthome Dr, Erie, PA 16509
Tantalion, NS; Rothesay, NB; Hamilton, Toronto, London,
University of Utrecht - Adoption Ctr, 030-534804
Searching, 717-939-0138
Thorold, Cottam, Ottawa, ON; Edmonton, Red Deer, AL;
Heidelberglaan 1, Utrecht, Holland 3584-CS
PO Box 7446, Harrisburg, PA 17113-0446
Saskatoon, SK: Hope, Kamloops, Quesnel, Prince George,
Child Welfare Society
Birthparents For Life
Victoria, BC; Prince Edward Island; Birmingham, MI; Old
PO Box 2539, Johannesburg, South Africa 2000
PO Box 334, Chester Heights, PA 19017
Westbury, NY
Catholics For Open Records
IMAGINE Search/Support Group, 403-245-5005
Publications:
30 Edgewood Rise, NW, Calgary, AL T3A 2T7 Canada
People Searching News, 407-768-2222
PO Box 83, Oreland, PA 19025
PO Box 100444, Palm Bay, FL 32910-0444
Pennsylvania Open Records Coalition
TRIAD Society for Truth in Adoption, 604-598-9887
PO Box 83, Oreland, PA 19025
686 Hampshire Rd, Victoria, BC, CANADA V8S 4S2
Non-Affillate Member:
Adoptees & Birthparents In Search, 803-791-1133
Australian Relinquishing Mothers 08 362-2418
PO Box 5551, West Columbia, SC 29171
51 North Terrace, Hackney, South Australia 5069
Intil Soundex Reunion Rgstry, 702-882-7755
Adoption Jigsaw, SA 344-7529
PO Box 2312, Carson City, NV 89702-2312
Adoption Family Connection. 803-574-0681
PO Box 239, Moore, SC 29369
48 Watson Ave, Broadview, South Australia 5083
Other Organizations:
Adoption Reunion Connection, 803-3479
Adoption Jigsaw WA Inc. 09-388-1922
263 Lemonade Road, Pacolet, SC 29372
POB 252, Hillarys, Perth, W Australia 6025
Nesenoff, Miltenberg & Welss, 212-962-6400
Attorneys, 90 West Street, #1818, NY, NY 10006
Adoption Search For Life, 803-224-8020
Mental Health Facilities:
303 Brighton Road, Anderson, SC 29621
Berkshire Learning Center, 413-442-5531
Concerned United Birthparents (HQ) 800-822-2777
Family Finders, 615-691-758-8685
Box 1224 (823 North St) Pittsfield, MA 01202
2000 Walker Street Des Moines, IA 50317
122 Bass Drive, ML Juliet, TN 37122
Adoption Support/Enrichment Svce, 508-875-6603
Anchorage, AS; Tempe, AZ; Mission Viejo, CA;
Los Angeles, San Diego, San Franciso, CA; Broomfield,
Group for Openness In Adoption, 615-646-8116
118 Union Ave., Ste 103, Framingham, MA 01701
CO; S. Gistnbry, CT; St Augustin & Naples, FL; Pahoa,
518 Gen'l G. Patton Rd. Nashville, TN 37221
Associates for Human Resources, 508-369-7810
Kameohl, HI; Chicago, Evanston, Mundelein, IL; Cedar
F.A.I.T.H., 615-378-4679
191 Sudbury Road, Concord, MA 01742
Rapids, IA: Louisville, KY; Edina, MN; Chapel Hill &
PO Box 294, Kingsport, TN 37662
Massachusetts Dept of Social services, 617-727-0900
Charlotte, NC: Los Alamos, NM; Jamestown, Syracuse,
Roots, 615-691-7412
24 Farnsworth St, Boston, MA 02210
NY; Cincinatti & Holland, OH; Morristown, TN: Surrey, BC
7110 Westway Center, Knoxville, TN 37919
Adoption Resource Center, 617-547-0909
Canada;
Right to Know, 901-386-2197
20 Sacramento Street, Cambridge, MA 02138
PO Box 34334, Bartiett, TN 38134
Center for Family Connections, 617-547-0909
Searchline of Texas, 214-445-7005
PO Box 383246, Cambridge, MA 02238-3246
1516 Old Orchard, Irving, TX 75061
Family Center, PACT, 617-628-8815
Adoption Triad Forum
385 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA 02144
PO Box 832161, Richardson, TX 75081
Counseling for Childbearing Loss 802-879-7112
DePelchin - Search/Support Group 713-802-7724
1 Fawn Place, Williston, vf 04595
100 Sandman, Houston, TX. 77007
Children's Ald & Adopt Soc of NJ, 201-487-2022
Adoption Knowledge Affiliates 512-442-8252
575 Main Street, Hackensack, NJ 07601
PO Box 402033, Austin, TX 78704
Catholic Charities, 908-604-69892
Recommended Books
Adoptees, Adopt/Birth Prnts in Srch 915-581-0478
PO Box 358, Millington, NJ 07946
4208 Roxbury, EI Paso, TX 79922
Adoption Counseling Center, Inc. 609-653-4242
A Crying Shame
Carol J Tieman
LA.M.B., 801-298-8520
505 W. Hamilton Ave, #207. Unwood, NJ 08221
An Adoptee's Dreams
Penny Callan Partridge
672 East 2025 South, Bountiful, UT 84010
Adoption Cunseing Centr, 212-988-0110
Adoption Reunions
Michelle McColm
Adoption Connection of Utah, 801-278-4858
401 East 74th Street, New York, NY 10021
Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy. 212-879-4900
** Adoption Triangle
Sorosky, Baran Pannor
1349 Mariposa Avenue, Salt Lake City, UT 84106
149 East 78th Street, New York, NY 10021
Half Way Home: Cntct/Reunion Guide
Lynn-Claire Davis
Adopted Blkers United, 804-323-0213
Amer Assn of Black SW's, Adopt. Unit 212-831-5181
I Would Have Searched For Ever
Sandy Musser
PO Box 36317, Richmond, VA 23235
1969 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10035
Journey of the Adopted Self
Adoptees Support For Birthmothers, 804-480-1571
Betty Jean Lifton
Downey Side, 212-629-8599
8630 Granby Street, Norfolk, VA 23503
** Mother, Can You Hear Me?
371 7th Ave, Hudson Room, New York, NY 10001
Betty Allen
Adoptees and Natural Parents, 804-874-9091
** The Other Mother
McMahon Services for Children. 212-972-7070
Carol Schaefer
949 Lacon Drive, Newport News, VA 23602
225 East 45th Street, New York, NY 10017
** Primal Wound
Nancy Verrier, MA
Adult Adoptees In Search, 703-365-0712
Spence-Chapin, 212-369-0300
** 2nd Choice: Growing Up Adopted
Robert Andersen, MD
PO Box 203, Ferrum, VA 24088
6 East 94th Street, New York, NY 10128
- Shedding Light on Dark Side
Marsha Riben
B & C Search of VT. 802-527-7507. 524-9825
Family Services of Westchester 914-948-8004
PO Box 1451, St Albans, VT. 05478
Here I Am! Where Did I Come From
Mary Ruth Wotherspoon
One Summit Ave., White Plains, NY 10606
Adoption Search/Support Network, 802-456-8850
Steinway Child & Family Services, 718-932-3850
- The Right to Know Who You Are
Keith Griffith, MBE
RR1 Box 83, East Calais, VT 05650
41-36 27th Street, Long Island City, NY 11101
To Prison with Love
Sandy Musser
Adoption Alliance of Vermont, 802-388-7569
Help Us Regain The Children, 718-332-0860
Wake Up Little Susie
Rickie Solinger
91 Court Street, Middlebury, VT 05753
235 Dover Street. Brooklyn, NY 11235
**Where Are My Birthparents?:
K. Gravelle & S. Fischer
Birthmothers AgainstAtion 802-095-8107
Brookwood Child Care, 718-596-5555
PO Box 424, Concord, VT 05824
Women Who Run With the Wolves Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
25 Washington St, Brooklyn, NY 11201
Adoptee Support Circle, 360-452-2212
Adoption Treatment Center 516-679-0800
IN STOCK at the CERA Office - Call us to order.
3107 Maple, Port Angeles, WA 98362
2415 Jerusalem Ave, Bellmore, NY 11710
Assoc of Confidential Intermediaries. 360-452-2212
The Adoption Agency, 215-642-7200
Also order from People Searching News, 407-768-2222
3107 Maple, Port Angeles, WA 98362
76 Rittenhouse Place, Ardmore, PA 19003
Musser Foundation, 813-542-1342; TRY, 413-584-6599
Adoption Search/Reconcilation, 206-228-6179
Orphan Foundation of America, 202-861-0762
14320 SE 170th, Renton, WA 98058
1500 MA Ave NW, Ste 448, Washington DC 20005
WARM, 206-767-9510
Associated Catholic Charities, 301-659-4050
5950 6th Ave. So.. # 107. Seattle, WA 98107-3317
19 W Franklin St, 2nd Flr, Baltimore, MD 21201
Issues Facing
National Adoption
Information Clearinghouse
Adult Adoptees
11426 Rockville Pike, Suite 410
Rockville, MD 20852
(301) 231-6512
Inside
Often when people hear the
whom she works. Mary Lou
word "adoption," they think of
Roman did not know she had
an infertile, childless couple
been adopted until she was 17
Identity and Self-
delightedly gazing into the eyes
and about to be married. Her
Esteem
of their recently adopted
parents could not produce her
newborn baby. They are thrilled
birth certificate, but instead
Feelings of
to finally be parents, and are
handed her the legal document
Abandonment
totally involved in meeting the
stating that she had been
immediate needs of the child.
adopted. Suddenly she knew
But what about the years that
why she had so many identity
The Interest in Genetic
follow? Do the effects of
problems in her early teenage
Information
adoption stop the moment that a
years.
child comes home to the new
How Adopted Persons
parents?
Most people at some time in
Cope
their lives have feared rejection
Those closely associated with
or have felt badly about
adoption-adult adopted
themselves for one reason or
persons, birth parents, adoptive
another. But adopted persons
parents, and their friends and
have a unique issue that
families-know that its effects
distinguishes them from their
can be felt for a long time, in fact
peers-they were not raised by
for a lifetime. Adult adoptees¹
their biological parents. Some
often talk about them. For
adoptees spend a lot of time
example, Steve Harris, a 39-year-
wondering why their birth
old program director at a Dallas
parents placed them for
radio station who was adopted
adoption, and what their life
as an infant, has been plagued
would have been like if they had
with low self-esteem throughout
not been adopted. They wonder
his life. Marie Haverton, a 24-
if something was wrong with
year-old office manager who was
them from the start that caused
adopted at birth, has always been
them to be placed with other
afraid that people are going to
parents.
leave her, whether it is the men
she dates or the people with
Some adopted persons link all of
complaints of depression, alcohol
box with no ingredients. Even
their problems to the fact that
or drug use, marital problems, or
my furniture has a tag that says
they were adopted. Others do
problems with their children.
what it is made of. And written
not make that connection or
Frequently they are having
on the tag is 'do not remove."
insist that having been adopted
difficulty maintaining intimate
has not interfered with their
relationships. While Dr.
Often the undeniable fact that an
ability to live a happy, fulfilling
Schechter warns against making
adoptee does not resemble other
life. Others feel very positive
generalizations about all
family members stimulates
about their adoption experience,
adoptees-some feel remarkably
intense feelings of aloneness.
but realize that adoption brings
free of conflict-he and other
Steve Harris, for example, did
with it certain issues. Just about
therapists find that many wrestle
not look anything like his family.
everyone who has been adopted
with the concerns that Steve,
"I would go to family reunions
consciously or unconsciously
Marie, and Mary Lou identify,
and everyone was tall and thin
faces issues of identity and
including questions about
and I was short and stocky.
feelings of loss, especially at
identity and self-esteem, feelings
They had dark complexions and I
milestone events-such as
of abandonment, and an interest
was much lighter. They were
graduation from high school or
in obtaining information about
good at sports and I wasn't. I
college, marriage, the birth of a
their genetic background. This
would spend a week with people
child, or the death of an adoptive
factsheet discusses each of these
who were supposed to be family,
parent. Adopted persons may
issues and presents some
but we didn't have anything in
wonder how their birth parents
methods for coping.
common. I looked different. My
would feel if they knew their
personality and temperament
child had reached these
Identity and Self-Esteem
were different. I would come
milestones.
home feeling like I didn't
Establishing one's identity is the
belong."
Some adopted persons are able to
major task of adolescence.
work through their feelings on
Teenagers, whether adopted or
In most families, even when a
their own or with the support of
not, must deal with such
child does not look like his or
friends and family; others seek
questions as, "Who am I?"
her parents, there is usually
professional help to deal with the
"Where do I fit?" "What do I
someone else to point to-Aunt
range of emotions they feel about
want to do with my life?" For
Sarah, Grandpa Harry-to make
having been adopted.
those who were adopted, the
the comparison. Adopted
search for personal identity is
children may feel particularly or
"Adoptees suffer from a fear of
complicated every step of the
overly sensitive about the fact
loss. They see loss all over the
way by the mystery of their
that they do not resemble other
place," says Dr. Marshall
genetic background. They
family members and believe
Schechter, a psychiatrist at the
wonder who gave them their
"that their parents have settled
University of Pennsylvania's
particular characteristics, and
for second best," says Dr.
School of Medicine and a
they want answers to questions
Schechter. "No amount of
nationally recognized expert on
their adopted parents may not be
reassuring can diminish what
adoption. "Even those adopted
able to provide: "Where do I get
adopted persons perceive as a
in infancy feel the loss," he says.
my artistic talent?" "Was
stunning difference (between
"If it happened once, it can
everyone in my birth family
themselves and other family
happen again."
short?" "What is my ethnic
members). They may develop
background?" "Why was I
fantasies, both positive and
Many adopted adults who have
placed for adoption?" Twenty-
negative, about their birth family,
been in therapy with Dr.
four-year-old Jamie, adopted at
and it often hampers their ability
Schechter have come to him with
age 3, says, "I feel like a cereal
to move on with their lives."
2
Feelings of Abandonment
abandonment and low self-
adopted that have previously
esteem often lead them to
been dormant or suppressed."2
Adoptive parents discuss
sabotage their relationships.
adoption with their children in
They may perceive this as the
Other adoptees may thwart their
different ways. Some parents
only way to insulate themselves
intimate relationships by being
can talk easily about the subject
from being abandoned again.
too clingy. For example, Steve
and encourage their children to
Harris admits, "As a child, I was
ask questions and share their
According to Dr. Schechter, some
always hanging on to my
feelings. Others, often because of
adoptees feel that "being
mother. Whenever she would
their own insecurities about their
vulnerable is just too risky. They
leave the room, I would cry.
right to be parents, say little
fear that a person they invest in
Later, I transferred the same
about adoption, or even say
will leave them just like their
behavior to the women in my
negative things about a child's
birth parents did. It causes them
life. I was always afraid they
birth parents. In these situations,
to be wary of how close they can
would leave me, so I pressured
children may feel that there must
get to people." For some
them so that they had no choice
be something shameful about
adoptees, the scenario may be
but to back off. I didn't even
their past and, thus, begin to feel
similar to that of Catherine, who
realize I was doing it."
shameful about themselves. As
at 31 had been unable to
adults, these individuals may feel
maintain an intimate relationship
This is not to say that all
they do not have permission to
for longer than 2 months. She
adoptees have problems with
grieve the loss they feel from not
would fall passionately in love,
feelings of abandonment in their
growing up with their biological
become intensely involved, then
intimate relationships. However,
families. According to Lois
suddenly feel dissatisfied and
many come to understand that
Melina, co-author of The Open
break off the relationship. It
they have an additional
Adoption Experience, they may
happened as soon as her partner
sensitivity to the issue.
become "stuck" in their anger
suggested a more permanent
and sadness.
emotional commitment. "I
The Interest in Genetic
would panic," Catherine says. "I
Information
However, even when adoptive
always wanted to leave them
parents say all the right things,
before they left me. That way I
Another issue facing adoptees is
such as "your birthmother was
could be the one in control and
that they often lack family
not able to care for you and she
not get hurt."
medical history and other family
wanted you to have the best
information. A visit to the
home possible," some children
Some adoptees avoid intimacy
doctor's office, where one is
who have been adopted have
because they are uncomfortable
likely to be asked about one's
strong feelings of abandonment.
with the openness and
family medical history, makes
They think that since their
vulnerability that such
adoptees acutely aware of how
mothers abandoned them, others
relationships entail. "Many
they differ from those who were
in their lives will also abandon
times, entering into an intimate
not adopted. Thirty-two-year-old
them. As a result, as adults they
relationship will force someone
Rena says, "I used to be
do not expect much from other
to admit secrets he has kept
uncomfortable in the doctor's
relationships. They fear rejection,
hidden even from himself," say
office when he would ask me for
have trouble making
the authors of Being Adopted: The
my medical history. 'Did anyone
commitments, and avoid
Lifelong Search for Self. "For an
in your family have diabetes?
intimacy. Intimate relationships,
adoptee in a new, intimate
Cancer? Heart disease?'
in fact, can be quite difficult for
relationship, this can mean
Actually, I never focused on my
some men and women who have
expressing feelings about being
adoption until I had to confront
been adopted. Fears about
the fact that I had this whole
3
genetic inheritance I knew
information unless birth parents
adoption there is often a
nothing about. Every time I read
have updated their file. Many
mechanism for willing parties to
in the newspaper about a new
States allow adopted persons to
communicate with one another
disease, I wondered, perhaps, if I
have access to their non-
through the agency or attorney
had the genes for that one. It
identifying information. Some
who arranged the adoption so
made me very uneasy."
have mutual consent registries
that updated medical and other
that provide identifying
non-identifying information can
When an adoptee plans to get
information to the parties in an
be shared.
married or become a parent, his
adoption only if all have agreed
or her need for genetic
that they wish to be found.
How Adopted Persons
information may become more
Alabama, Alaska, Kansas, and
Cope
intense. People have different
Hawaii are the only States with
questions about the child they
an open record policy. Some
"Being adopted," says Marie
will produce, such as what the
adoptees are quite angry at the
Haverton, "is a lifelong issue.
child will look like, and if the
obstacles placed before them in
Even if it doesn't haunt you,
child will inherit any genetic
trying to recover what they
even if you have a job and a
disorders, such as sickle-cell
consider their birthright-full
family and a good self-image, the
anemia. Unfortunately, the fear
access to their adoption records,
fact that the family that you grew
of the unknown has kept some
including identifying
up in is not the family whose
adoptees from having their own
information. "It is outrageous
genetics you share never goes
children. "I was afraid to start a
that society should decide that I
away. Some of us live in denial.
family," says 36-year-old
have no right to my records,"
Others of us make an uneasy
Beatrice. "It is my deepest regret
says Florence Fisher, founder of
peace with our situations. Some
in life." Other adopted persons
the Adoptees Liberty Movement
seek kinship in support groups.
who have not had a reunion say
Association (ALMA). "Why
Some, like me, have to find our
that the birth of a baby provides
should I pay taxes to a country
birth families."
the first opportunity to encounter
that won't give me my birth
a "blood relative," and it is a
certificate?"
Support Groups
joyously anticipated event.
Meryl-who was 38 before she
"I was told I would need my
National organizations such as
felt comfortable enough to
adoptive parents' permission
ALMA or the American
become pregnant-says, "I
before anything could be released
Adoption Congress, or local
couldn't wait for my son or
to me," says 45-year-old Bonnie,
support groups such as
daughter to be born. I wanted to
who was similarly outraged at
Philadelphia's Adoption Forum,
see someone, to hold someone
being unable to obtain her birth
offer solace, sympathy, and an
who was connected to me
certificate. "I have two adult
opportunity for those who have
through blood lines. This child I
children of my own and they are
been adopted to exchange
was carrying became the most
telling me that I need my 68-
feelings and information. For
important thing in my life-my
year-old mother's permission to
many, it is one of the few places
only connection to the past or the
find out my history." Adoptions
where everyone understands the
future."
arranged 45 years ago never
unique aspects of adoption and
included a provision for ongoing
feelings can be expressed openly.
Most people take for granted the
contact between adoptive and
It is an environment in which
fact that they have access to their
birth parents. Over the past 10-
adoptees can tell their stories and
genetic and medical information.
15 years there have been a
hear about other people's
For those who were adopted,
number of changes in adoption
experiences. "People in your life
however, it is very difficult to
practice. Nowadays, even if
try to be sympathetic," says
obtain updated medical
there is not full openness in an
Barbara Bucharis, "but there is
4
no way you can understand what
their interpersonal relationships;
which all of the participants are
it feels like not to know where
the integration of their adoption
adopted adults, or are touched
you came from. No matter how
experiences; their struggles
by adoption in some way.
many books you read on the
around adoption issues; and with
Participants could be adoptive
subject or how much research
their healing process. Therapy
parents, birth parents, or perhaps
you've done, you can never
can also assist adoptees in sorting
a sibling of an adoptee. These
understand-unless you've lived
through the decision about
groups go into more depth than
it-what it feels like to have this
whether or not to search for birth
the type of support group
mystery in your life."
relatives. If a search is
described above. They actually
undertaken, the counselor can
combine the best elements of a
"Support groups help validate
assist in preparing an adoptee for
support group and individual
your feelings," confirms Marie
a possible reunion, and in
counseling: members of the
Haverton. "You see that what
understanding and integrating
group all have the adoption
you are feeling isn't crazy. There
the new information and newly
experience in common, and the
are a lot of people in the same
found family of origin as well as
group is facilitated by a skilled
boat and they are there to help
the upheaval of emotions that
mental health professional.
you along." Hearing in support
often accompanies a search and
group meetings how others have
its aftermath."
The Search for Birth Parents
coped with their feelings of
abandonment, rejection, and loss
For instance, some adoptees'
In the past, it was assumed that a
can inspire troubled adult
reunions go very well. They find
healthy, well-adjusted adopted
adoptees to work through their
their birth family, and they like
person would have no desire to
own issues. They might decide
them very much, and everyone is
delve into his or her birth
to talk to a counselor about these
happy to have been found. For
history. Those who insisted that
issues, possibly going to one that
those adoptees, the issues in
they needed this information and
someone in the support group
therapy may be the grief and loss
access to their birth records were
found helpful, or they might
they feel at not having been able
considered to be ungrateful at
decide to search for their birth
to grow up with that family. For
the least, and seriously disturbed
family.
those who were adopted at an
at the worst. It was startling,
older age from the foster care
therefore, when the May 1971
Counseling
system, therapy may help them
issue of the Pediatrics journal
deal with the consequences of the
printed the following: "There is
Some adult adoptees find
abuse or neglect they endured
ample evidence that the adopted
individual counseling with a
when they were younger. Even
child retains the need for seeking
counselor who is knowledgeable
if they are happy with their place
his ancestry for a long time."3
about adoption issues to be very
in their adoptive family, they
Later in the 1970's, a research
helpful. An experienced
may still be dealing with the
group in California led by Arthur
therapist can help adult adoptees
effects of their early life
D. Sorosky, M.D., a clinical
untangle which of their concerns
experiences. Therapy is a
professor of child psychiatry at
are adoption-related and which
resource that adoptees, adoptive
UCLA, and social workers
are adjustment issues that many
parents, and birth parents can
Annette Baran and Reuben
people in their stage of life go
use to help them handle
Pannor revealed that by late
through. According to Detroit-
whatever emotions they are
adolescence and young
area adoption therapist Linda
feeling.
adulthood, just about all
Yellin, MSW, who is herself an
adoptees in their study felt a
adoptee, "Therapy can assist
Occasionally, therapists who are
sense of "genealogical
adoptees in a number of different
knowledgeable about adoption
bewilderment," defined as
ways. It can help them with
issues offer therapy groups in
"psychological confusion about
5
their genetic origins." The
by their child's need to find his
and personality traits have a
researchers found that adoptees
or her "real" parents.
genetic basis." Steve Harris talks
search for their birth family
to prospective adoptive parents
because of both a sociological
Experienced adoption therapists
and tries to prepare them for the
and a biological need.
say that while adoptees may
questions and concerns that their
want to take other people's real
children may face as they grow
Indeed, recent research indicates
or imagined feelings into
up. He reassures them that their
that it is normal and healthy for
consideration, their own feelings
children's curiosity about their
adopted persons to want to know
are also important. In most
identity has nothing to do with
more about their genetic
cases, they did not have any
poor parenting. "Just because
background. "There is a
control over whether they were
your son or daughter wants to
significant difference in the way
placed for adoption, or with
find a birth parent doesn't mean
adoptees perceive themselves
whom. Searching is a way for
you did something wrong. It is
when they have some
them to get back some of that
just information we need to feel
information about their birth
control, fill in missing pieces, and
like a whole person for the first
family's background," says
move on. If adoptees have a
time in our lives," Harris says.
Marcie Griffin, an adoption
strong urge to seek out the
counselor at Hope Cottage
people to whom they are
In fact, a successful search, with
Adoption Center in Dallas, Texas.
biologically related, most
the support of adoptive parents,
"When adoptees learn something
therapists say they should follow
often makes relationships
about their birthmother's
it. In addition, adoptees
between parents and adopted
education or
planning to search for their birth
persons closer. That was the
special talents or are given some
parents and hoping to have a
experience of Mary Lou Roman.
explanation of why they were
reunion should have a support
"I think, in the beginning, my
placed, they begin to have
network in place while going
parents worried that I would find
greater self-esteem and a better
through the process. The
my birthmother and love her
idea of who they really are."
support network can be the
more than I loved them," says
adoptee's spouse and children,
Mary Lou, who searched for 14
Nonetheless, adoptees thinking
adoptive family, good friends,
years before finding her father
about searching hear many
therapist, support group, or a
and brother. "I explained to my
voices. One voice tells them not
combination of several of these.
parents that I had been happy in
to open Pandora's box-they
my adoptive home, but I had to
may be devastated by what they
know who my birth parents
find. Perhaps they will
"One of the misconceptions that
were. I felt like a lost person,
experience rejection or find a
adoptive parents have," explains
that I belonged to no one, that I
birth parent who needs
Dr. Schechter, "is that they have
had nothing to contribute. I told
emotional or financial support
done something to make their
them how I looked in the mirror
they are not prepared to give.
child want to search. They
and started to cry, yearning for
What about the rights of the
haven't. Everyone needs to feel
someone, somewhere, who
birthmother who may have
that they are part of a continuum
looked like me, maybe walked
carved out a life for herself and
of a family. It represents a
like me. They understood,
does not want the intrusion?
normal need in people to know,
supported my search, and I
Adoptees must also consider
for instance, why they are artistic
found that we got closer and
their adoptive parents and the
but their family isn't, why they
spent more time together once I
grief that a search may bring
are gregarious and their parents
felt like a complete human being.
them. Adoptive parents may feel
are quiet. As more is learned
My parents live with me now,
unloved, unappreciated, and hurt
about genetics, scientists are
and I love them more than ever
discovering that many talents
before."
6
For many, searching can be an
We hope this factsheet has been
Dr. Sorosky and his research
important step toward resolving
helpful in at least pointing out to
team found that almost all
questions of origin. However,
adult adoptees that they are not
adoptees in their study wanted to
even meeting one's birth family
alone, whatever their feelings
know about their genetic past.
will not magically restore self-
about being adopted. There are
Perhaps some did not focus on
esteem or erase the sense of
many helpful resources available
their adoption and were able to
rejection that adoptees may have
to them, among them the
resolve issues surrounding it on
felt through the years. Post-
National Adoption Information
their own, or had enough
reunion issues themselves take a
Clearinghouse (NAIC).
information about the
lot of work; for instance, deciding
circumstances of their adoption
how involved to be with birth
The NAIC can help adult
to satisfy them. Adoptees who
family members after finding
adoptees in three ways. First, the
are basically curious and
them and how to combine those
NAIC publishes a related
questioning may decide to
relationships with adoptive
factsheet called "Searching for
undertake an active search. In
family relationships. Gaining the
Birth Relatives." In addition to
either case, their decision is not
birth family as an adult cannot
discussing the issues, the
necessarily related to the quality
make up for the years that were
factsheet also provides a State-
of the relationship between them
not spent together on a day-to-
by-State list of all the known
and their adoptive parents.
day basis. But it certainly can
national and local adult adoptee
bring an added dimension to
search and support groups in the
For those who do search. the
one's life.
United States. Second, the NAIC
goal should be the truth. They
provides referrals to a growing
must be willing to accept
Steve Harris remembers, "The
list of adoption experts, some of
whatever they find. "I pictured
night I spoke with my
whom are psychotherapists
my mother being everything
birthmother for the first
(counselors) who specialize in
from Madame Curie to a 42nd
time-we spent about 3 hours
working with adult adoptees and
Street hooker," says Mary Lou
talking on the telephone about
others who are touched by
Roman. "It didn't matter what I
our likes and dislikes-closure
adoption. Third, the NAIC can
found. I just wanted to know the
was brought to a part of my life.
supply bibliographic information
truth." Even for those adoptees
I can remember waking up the
on many other books and articles
who have searched for birth
next day feeling great. It was the
on relevant topics. For any of
parents only to experience
most peaceful night's sleep I had
these resources, contact NAIC at
rejection again, the result is still
ever had."
11426 Rockville Pike, Ste. 410,
viewed positively. Many believe
Rockville, MD 20852, (301) 231-
that searching helped them to
Conclusion
6512.
finally achieve adulthood, lay
aside childhood fantasies, and
Adoption brings with it certain
accept themselves as a whole
core issues. As adopted children
person.4 Marie Haverton agrees,
grow into adulthood, they carry
"Searching for my birthmother
their thoughts and feelings about
Written by Gloria Hochman, Anna
wasn't something I wanted to do.
being adopted with them. Adult
Huston, and Mady Prowler of the
It was something I had to do.
adoptees may have no, some, or
National Adoption Center for the
Even though things didn't
great difficulty dealing with these
National Adoption Information
always go smoothly for everyone
thoughts and feelings. Some will
Clearinghouse, 1994.
involved, I would definitely do it
struggle with the added dynamic
again. I got the answers to my
that adoption brings to their life,
questions."
and for others there will be little
or no struggle.
7
Bibliography
.
Lost & Found:
Zeilinger, Richard. "The Need to
The Adoption Experience. New
Know vs. the Right to Know."
American Academy of Pediatrics
York: Harper & Row Publishers,
Public Welfare, Summer 1979, vol.
Committee on Adoption.
1988.
37 no. 3, pp. 44-47.
"Identity Development in
Adopted Children." Pediatrics,
. Journey of the
Notes
vol. 47 no. 5, May 1971, pp. 948-
Adopted Self: A Quest for
949.
Wholeness. New York: Basic
1. Some names used in this
Books, 1994.
factsheet have been changed to
Brodzinsky, David M., Ph.D.;
protect privacy.
Schechter, Marshall D., M.D.; and
Melina, Lois Ruskai and Roszia,
Henig, Robin M. Being Adopted:
Sharon Kaplan. The Open
2. Brodzinsky, David M., Ph.D.;
The Lifelong Search for Self. New
Adoption Experience. New York:
Schechter, Marshall D., M.D.; and
York: Anchor Books/Doubledav,
Harper Collins, 1993.
Henig, Robin M., Being Adopted:
1992.
The Lifelong Search for Self,
Rosenberg, Elinor B. The
Anchor Books/Doubleday, New
Griffin, Marcie, M.S. "The Adult
Adoption Life Cycle. New York:
York, 1992, P. 130.
Adoptee: The Biological Alien."
The Free Press, 1992.
Adoption Therapist, vol. 2 no. 2,
3. American Academy of
Fall 1991, pp. 8-9.
Small. Joanne W. "Discrimination
Pediatrics Committee on
Against the Adoptee." Public
Adoption, "Identity Development
Hochman, Gloria. "Mom Finds
Welfare, Summer 1979, vol. 37 no.
in Adopted Children," Pediatrics,
Daughter She Gave Away 27
3,pp. 38-43.
vol. 47 no. 5, May 1971, p. 948.
Years Before." Family Weekly,
August 10, 1980, pp. 1, 19.
Sorosky, Arthur D., M.D.; Baran,
4. Sorosky, Arthur D., M.D.;
Annette, M.S.W.; and Pannor,
Baran, Annette, M.S.W.; and
Klunder, Virgil L. Lifeline: The
Reuben, M.S.W. The Adoption
Pannor, Reuben, M.S.W., The
Action Guide to Adoption Search.
Triangle: The Effects of the Sealed
Adoption Triangle: The Effects of
Cape Coral, FL: Caradium
Record on Adoptees, Birth Parents,
the Sealed Record on Adoptees, Birth
Publishing, 1991.
and Adoptive Parents. Garden
Parents, and Adoptive Parents,
City, NY: Anchor Press/
Anchor Press/Doubleday,
Lifton, Betty Jean. Twice Born:
Doubleday, 1978.
Garden City, NY, 1978, p. 155.
Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter.
New York: Penguin, 1977.
Strauss, Jean A. S. Birthright.
New York: Penguin, 1994.
8
WHAT IS CUB?
birth certificates implies adoption is inade-
love. Parents unable to raise their children
CUB (Concerned United Birthparents,
quate and must be disguised as birth. They
should have a voice in who will raise them,
Inc.) is a non profit organization that began
resent this lack of respect for the authenti-
just as parents who die have such a voice
its official existence in October 1976 to
city of adoptive parenting. They want the
through their wills. Denying loving parents
provide mutual support for birthparents,
right to know the other parents who love
any options, choices or knowledge of their
men and women who have surrendered child-
their child.
children, even when their children are ad-
ren to adoption. CUB membership and pur-
Growing. up- n-an-adoptive-home-is-dif
ults; is punishment
poses have expanded since those early days.
ferent than growing up in a family in which
that causes suffering for birthparents and
CUB members now include birthpar-
parents and children are genetically related.
their families as well as discouraging future
ents, adoptees, adoptive parents, other adop-
Adoptees share their love and lives with
adoptions. Birthparents' love for their child-
tion affected people and professionals. CUB's
adoptive parents, but not their genes and his-
ren does not end with their surrender.
purposes are providing mutual support for
tories. Adoptees' bodies, talents, health and
Many agencies arrange open adoptions
coping with the ongoing pains and problems of
genes come from their birthparents, who
because it benefits adoptees and adoptive
adoption, working for adoption reforms in
remain important to adoptees even though
parents to be able to answer medical ques-
law and social policy, preventing unnec-
adoptive parents clearly become the primary
tions doctors ask with the assurance that up
essary family separations, assisting adop-
parents. Adoptees' need to know their ori-
to date answers are available. Adoptive par-
tion separated relatives in searching for fam-
gins and birthfamilies does not indicate a lack
ents can reassure their children that their
ily members and educating the public about
of love for adoptive parents, but shows the
birthparents were and are loving people.
adoption issues and realities.
adoptees are secure enough in their adoptive
Many adoptive parents feel that knowing the
parents' love to pursue their need to know
birthparents as people gives them freedom
MUTUAL SUPPORT
their own backgrounds.
from unwarranted fears about the birth-
People sometimes mistakenly assume
Mutual support through monthly meet-
parents and allows them to help their child-
the surrender of a child ends a traumatic
ings, a monthly newsletter, correspondence
ren grow into whole people whose back-
time for birthparents and is soon forgotten.
and phone calls helps members cope with
grounds are accepted facts, not frightening
Robin Winkler, in his study of birthmothers,
adoption difficulties and feelings.
fantasies.
reports that even forty years later birth-
By denying adoptees knowledge of
parents regard the loss of a child to adoption
ADOPTION REFORM
their origins and birthfamilies, our society
as the most stressful part of their lives. He
Many CUB members work to promote
treats responsible adults as eternal children.
found that for half of birthparents the pain of
legislative and social policy changes to re-
Like other citizens, every adoptee has a dis-
that loss remains as intense as at surrender
quire fully informing vulnerable families,
tinct genetic background and history. Yet
or intensifies over time. The loss of a child
including single parent families, of all alterna-
unlike other citizens, adoptees in many
to adoption can affect all areas of life, parti-
tives and services available to them and to
states are never considered old enough to
cularly marriage, subsequent children and dif-
assist them to keep their families together.
have a right to know their backgrounds. If
ficulty trusting other people.
There are some parents whose situation,
adoption is to serve the needs of all parties,
Adoptive parents frequently lack the
even with support, does not permit them to
it must be changed to address people's needs
information they need to assist their children
raise their children. When adoption is truly
at the time of surrender and placement and
with developing healthy self identity and ob-
necessary, we encourage changes that would
throughout their lives. This means social and
taining needed medical services. In increas-
make adoption a humane and caring alterna-
legal recognition of the facts that adoptees
ing numbers, adoptive parents have joined
tive, not a punishment. Closed adoption
grow up, that the needs of the parties
CUB in efforts to understand the issues con-
harms all parties by denying choices and by
change over the years, and that living with
fronting their children. They recognize that
imposing secrecy on people who do not want
truth is healthier for all parties than living
adoption is a blended family situation in
it. We encourage openness, honesty and coop-
with fears and fantasies.
which they are the nurturing parents, but
eration in adoption.
their children also have birthparents. They
Birthparents surrender because of a
PREVENTION
believe that sealing their children's original
temporary lack of resources, not a lack of
Many CUB members live with the pain
of being separated from family members and
branch receive support and information
living in incomplete families. The circum-
through monthly newsletters, correspon-
stances leading to the surrender of a child
dence and phone calls with members.
are most often temporary and can be over-
come with caring support for a time. A tem-
EDUCATION
porary lack of finances or support should not
CUB has a strong interest in educating
require a loving parent and child to be
not only adoption affected individuals but
separated. To prevent unnecessary separa-
also society in general about adoption issues.
tions, some of our members have welcomed
Many of our members and leaders volunteer
young mothers and their children into their
their time to speak to community groups
Separated By Adoption?
homes. They have been moved to see these
about issues relating to family separation
mothers and children beaming at each other
and adoption. In addition, CUB distributes
with love, and often have proudly attended
and produces literature concerning adoption.
the mothers' weddings and graduations. By
providing temporary support, we have been
WHERE CAN I WRITE?
able to help vulnerable young families over-
If you are interested in joining or
WHAT IS CUB?
come their temporary difficulties so they
would like additional information about CUB
could be strong, healthy, positive families.
or literature topics available, please write
Often members assist by sharing their own
to CUB's national headquarters:
situations and feelings with young parents-to-
be and their families. CUB has produced a
booklet concerning the choices available to
people experiencing an unplanned pregnancy
because of our concern that parents be
informed of alternatives and choices.
Concerened United Birthparents, Inc.
2000 Walker Street
SEARCH
Des Moines, IA 50317
CUB members give each other one to
800-822-2777
12
one assistance on searching. CUB branches
hold search workshops for members who
have attended three support meetings. New
members can place free ads in our monthly
CUB CHICAGO BRANCH
newsletter to request search help. We let
c/o Bonnie Bis
members know of other search groups in
their area. We also have a reunion registry
835 Ridge Ave. #208
in which members can place their names in
Evanston, IL 60202
the hope their child, parent or sibling will
(708) 328-1686
also register so they can be matched.
Perhaps our most important service to
searchers is to provide emotional support
during search and the opportunity to learn of
and consider possibilities that may await
them. We help searchers be sensitive to
others' needs as they plan for contact and
reunion.
Members who are not close to a