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THE PROGRAM. Between the Pets. EI A R T Leave your Card Plates at Cooper's, OLD ESTA corner 13th and F. Try Chase's $1 Umbrella, 411 11th St., OYSTER SALOON A and 1412 Pa. Ave. My own make. Neale, 7th and N, pure drugs, trusses, and surgical appliances a specialty. FOR LADIES AN Kid Gloves cleaned at 10 cts. per pair at Hulse's Dye Works, 415 11th St., N. W. Why is a room full of married folks like an empty room? Because there is not a THE single person in it. There is a man only twenty-five years of age who has already married forty women. He is a clergyman. 'Shon," said a Dutchman, "you may say what you please 'bout pad neighbors; I have had te verst neighbors as never vas. Mine pigs and mine hens come home mit dere ears split, and todder day two of them come home missing." "Second class in Grammar stand up," said the schoolmaster. 'John is-who does John correspond with?' "Iknow," said a little boy at the foot, holding up his hand; "If you mean John Smithers, he corresponds with my sister Susan." A man has been arrested in London, and fined, for the practice of biting off The Largest and Most Complete Oyster House dogs' tails. The man, no doubt, meant well, He wished to break up the barba- rous practice of attaching tinware to the narrative of the canines. Possibly. Every Brand of Salt Water Oyster 'This noxious weed," says a school- boy's composition on tobacco, was in- THE BEST RESTAURANT vented by a distinguished man named Walter Raleigh. When the people first saw him smoking they thought he was a Visitors to our City will find the far-fame steamboat; and as they had never heard by a visit. Every Luxury in Season. Pol of such a thing as a steamboat, they were terribly frightened." Among the peculiarities of courting in OYSTERS OF ALL FLA VOR Texas is, that the "young feller" is OC- casionally requested to step outside the house and hold an apple or potato for the HARVEY & HOL girl's brother to shoot at, and it is consid- ered highly unsociable not to comply. It is equally noteworthy that the well to-do Harvey, the originator of the young suitors never get hit. At a schoolboard examination the in- FOUR STORY IRON spector asked a boy if he could forgive those who had wronged him. "Could you," said the inspector, 'forgive a boy, 1016, for, PA. Ave. AND 11T for example, who has insulted or struck you?' Y-e-s, sir," replied the lad very slowly, I-think-I-could; but he added in a much more rapid manner, "I HATS could if he was bigger than I am." Among the replies to an advertisement of a music committee for a candidate for organist, music teacher, etc., a vacancy having occurred by the resignation of the organist in office, was the following: Gentlemen, I noticed your advertise- All the Latest SPRING ment for an organist and music teacher, either lady or gentleman. Having been both for several years, I offer my services." STYLES Just Received. An attorney having died exceedingly poor, a shilling subscription was set afoot We buy and sell at man- o pay the expenses of his funeral. Most of the attorneys and barristers havingsu scribed, one of them applied to Toler, af- ufacturer's prices. terward Lord Chief Justice Norbury, ex- pressing the hope that he also would sub- scribe a shilling. Onlya shilling!" said Toler, "only a shilling to bury an attor- hey? Here is a guinea, go and bury SIGMUND & GOLDMAN, twenty-one of them." John C. Breckenridge and Tom Mar- 436 7th St., N. W. shall of Kentucky, were arguing a law suit for dr-mages incurred hu

Document source description

This file contains newspaper clippings and programs for various concerts, plays, and lectures.

Page data

Page
167
Source index
0
Type
photo
Media ID
e9068e3904837397
Size
unknown

Document data

ID
518258336
Core
doc
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DTO data
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Page context
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    "ocrText": "THE PROGRAM.\nBetween the Pets.\nEI A R T\nLeave your Card Plates at Cooper's,\nOLD ESTA\ncorner 13th and F.\nTry Chase's $1 Umbrella, 411 11th St.,\nOYSTER SALOON A\nand 1412 Pa. Ave. My own make.\nNeale, 7th and N, pure drugs, trusses,\nand surgical appliances a specialty.\nFOR LADIES AN\nKid Gloves cleaned at 10 cts. per pair at\nHulse's Dye Works, 415 11th St., N. W.\nWhy is a room full of married folks like\nan empty room? Because there is not a\nTHE\nsingle person in it.\nThere is a man only twenty-five years\nof age who has already married forty\nwomen. He is a clergyman.\n'Shon,\" said a Dutchman, \"you may\nsay what you please 'bout pad neighbors;\nI have had te verst neighbors as never\nvas. Mine pigs and mine hens come home\nmit dere ears split, and todder day two of\nthem come home missing.\"\n\"Second class in Grammar stand up,\"\nsaid the schoolmaster. 'John is-who\ndoes John correspond with?' \"Iknow,\"\nsaid a little boy at the foot, holding up his\nhand; \"If you mean John Smithers, he\ncorresponds with my sister Susan.\"\nA man has been arrested in London,\nand fined, for the practice of biting off\nThe Largest and Most Complete Oyster House\ndogs' tails. The man, no doubt, meant\nwell, He wished to break up the barba-\nrous practice of attaching tinware to the\nnarrative of the canines. Possibly.\nEvery Brand of Salt Water Oyster\n'This noxious weed,\" says a school-\nboy's composition on tobacco, was in-\nTHE BEST RESTAURANT\nvented by a distinguished man named\nWalter Raleigh. When the people first\nsaw him smoking they thought he was a\nVisitors to our City will find the far-fame\nsteamboat; and as they had never heard\nby a visit. Every Luxury in Season. Pol\nof such a thing as a steamboat, they were\nterribly frightened.\"\nAmong the peculiarities of courting in\nOYSTERS OF ALL FLA VOR\nTexas is, that the \"young feller\" is OC-\ncasionally requested to step outside the\nhouse and hold an apple or potato for the\nHARVEY & HOL\ngirl's brother to shoot at, and it is consid-\nered highly unsociable not to comply. It\nis equally noteworthy that the well to-do\nHarvey, the originator of the\nyoung suitors never get hit.\nAt a schoolboard examination the in-\nFOUR STORY IRON\nspector asked a boy if he could forgive\nthose who had wronged him. \"Could\nyou,\" said the inspector, 'forgive a boy,\n1016, for, PA. Ave. AND 11T\nfor example, who has insulted or struck\nyou?' Y-e-s, sir,\" replied the lad very\nslowly, I-think-I-could; but he\nadded in a much more rapid manner, \"I\nHATS\ncould if he was bigger than I am.\"\nAmong the replies to an advertisement\nof a music committee for a candidate for\norganist, music teacher, etc., a vacancy\nhaving occurred by the resignation of the\norganist in office, was the following:\nGentlemen, I noticed your advertise-\nAll the Latest SPRING\nment for an organist and music teacher,\neither lady or gentleman. Having been\nboth for several years, I offer my services.\"\nSTYLES Just Received.\nAn attorney having died exceedingly\npoor, a shilling subscription was set afoot\nWe buy and sell at man-\no pay the expenses of his funeral. Most\nof the attorneys and barristers havingsu\nscribed, one of them applied to Toler, af-\nufacturer's prices.\nterward Lord Chief Justice Norbury, ex-\npressing the hope that he also would sub-\nscribe a shilling. Onlya shilling!\" said\nToler, \"only a shilling to bury an attor-\nhey? Here is a guinea, go and bury\nSIGMUND & GOLDMAN,\ntwenty-one of them.\"\nJohn C. Breckenridge and Tom Mar-\n436 7th St., N. W.\nshall of Kentucky, were arguing a law\nsuit for dr-mages incurred hu"
}