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CAPTA
peartin
12/13/1999 14:27
0000000000
PARENTS ANONYMOUS
PAGE 02
CELEBRATING
30
December 13, 1999
YEARS
Bruce Reed, Director, Domestic Policy Council
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, DC 20500
PARENTS
Anonymous
Dear Mr. Reed:
Strengthening Families All Across America
We are requesting a meeting on Monday, December 20th or Tuesday,
LISA PION-BERLIN. PH.D.
December 21ˢᵗ to discuss vital policy and funding issues with you
PRESIDENT AND Curs Excesses OFFICER
regarding child abuse prevention in America. I am the President and
Chief Executive Officer of Parents Anonymous, Inc., the oldest and
largest child abuse prevention organization in America. We help tens of
thousands of families through our unique mutual support groups and
specialized children's programs which occur in diverse communities and
settings all across America. When President Clinton was the Governor of
Arkansas, Mrs. Clinton served on the Board of Directors of SCAN, our
Parents Anonymous® accredited organization serving families in
Arkansas.
Funding and strong legislation at the federal level is lacking for child
abuse prevention. Compared to the funding for the investigation of child
abuse, foster care and adoption services which is 77 times greater than
federal prevention funds under the Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment
Act (CAPTA- totals in FY 2000 only $ 71.8 million)- prevention has very
limited resources. Since CAPTA's passage 25 years ago which occurred
with the help of the founding mother of Parents Anonymous®, Jolly K.
whose historic testimony was covered on National network news,
Parents Anonymous® has been expanding nationwide and trained parent
leaders all over to advocate for needed policies and our program that
strengthens families in partnership with their local communities. We are
truly community-based and utilize tens of thousands of volunteers to
make Parents Anonymous a true success.
We desperately need the leadership of the White House to ensure that
funding opportunities are sought to support effective prevention
programs knowing the devastating impact of child abuse on the lives of
children and generations to come. We would like to discuss the
reauthorization of CAPTA, federal funding for child abuse prevention
which is abysmally low, and our vital work to help families which we
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
know is a priority with both the President and Mrs. Clinton. This is our
675 WEST FOOTHILL BLVD.
30th Anniversary and partnering with the White House to celebrate the
SUITE 220
success of parents who have turned their lives around forever would
CLAREMONT, CALFORNIA
send a critical message to other parents who feel isolated and alone to
reach out for help with Parents Anonymous®. Thank you in advance for
91711-3475
your consideration of a meeting next week.
(909) 621-6184, EXT. 207
Sincerely,
FAX (909) 398-1864
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org
Lisa Pion-Berlin, Ph.D.
e-mail: [email protected]
President and Chief Executive Officer
12/13/1999 14:27
0000000000
PARENTS ANONYMOUS
PAGE 01
COVER
FAX
SHEET
DATE: 12/13/99
TO: Kapry via Bruce Reed
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
FAX #: 202456-5342
COMPANY:
PHONE #:
PARENTS
# OF PAGES TO FOLLOW: 1
Anonymous
Strungsterning Fendles All Acass Anterica
FROM: Lisa Pion-Berlin, Ph.D.
President and Chief Executive Officer
Per your voice message
about faxing a request to
Bruce Red for a neety at
The White House.
Thank
The National Organization
675 West Foothill Blvd., Suite 220
Claremont, CA 91711-3475
(909) 621-6184, Ext. 207
FAX (909) 398-1864
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org
Please call if there is a problem with this fax transmittal
CELEBRATING
30
PARENTS ANONYMOUS, INC. FACT SHEET
YEARS
Our Mission
Founded in 1970 in California by a courageous mother and her social worker, Parents
Anonymous, Inc. is dedicated to promoting mutual support and parent leadership in order
to build and support strong, safe families. As the nation's oldest child abuse prevention,
education, and treatment program, we celebrate our thirtieth anniversary and recommit to
our vision of strengthening many more families across America.
PARENTS
What Makes Us Unique
The Parents Anonymous model emphasizes shared leadership between parents and
Anonymous®
professionals. This model exemplifies the notion that by building on the strengths of
Strengthening Families All Across America
families, difficulties can be overcome and child abuse and neglect can be prevented.
Acknowledged Success
When Congress re-authorized the Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment Act in 1996, a new section was added highlighting
Parents Anonymous as a benchmark community-based prevention program. In 1996, Parents Anonymous. Inc. was
selected by the U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention as a national Model
Family Strengthening Program to prevent juvenile delinquency. In 1997, the U.S. Commission on Child and Family Welfare,
in their final report to Congress, identified Parents Anonymous, Inc. as the most successful program that emphasizes mutual
support and parent leadership to ensure more responsive services.
Demonstrated Effectiveness
Immediate reduction In physical and emotional abuse. National research on Parents Anonymous® demonstrated a
significant and immediate reduction in the frequency and severity of physical and emotional child abuse by parents who
attended Parents Anonymous® groups. (Behavior Associates of Tucson, Arizona, 1976)
Most effective program for resolving perents' problems. In a national evaluation of 11 child abuse programs over a
period of 40 months, Parents Anonymous was the most significant Intervention in alleviating child abuse and neglect in
comparison to the other ten programs, which included individual therapy and parent education classes. (Berkeley Planning
Associates, 1981)
Beneficial Children's Programs. National research on Parents Anonymous® children's programs revealed significant
improvements in children's self-esteem, behavior and social interaction skills (Behavior Associates, 1983). Parents
Anonymous, Inc. has created a new Children's Program that establishes principles and guidelines for the National Nelwork.
New Research Underway. In 1999, the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention will fund a new evaluation to
assess the implementation and effectiveness of the Parents Anonymous® program.
Cost Effectiveness
Compared to the lifetime cost of more than $2 million to our society for each abused child, Parents Anonymous services
effectively prevent child abuse at a cost of only $600 per year per family. Annually, thousands of volunteers donate millions
of dollars worth of services to Parents Anonymous®, making a significant contribution to families in their communities.
Reaching more families across America than any other child abuse prevention program, the Parents Anonymous.
Inc. National Network is a lifeline for parents and children who attend hundreds of Parents Anonymous groups
annually.
On any given week, thousands of mothers and fathers effectively address the stresses of parenting and learn to
strengthen their relationships with their children in Parents Anonymous groups across America. At the same time,
their children are increasing their self esteem, improving their behavior and learning more effective social skills through
Parents Anonymous Children's Programs.
Parents Anonymous programs meet the diverse needs of parents, including single, teen, minority, mono-lingual,
and incarcerated parents; grandparents; "at risk" youth; and adult survivors of child abuse.
Parents Anonymous, Inc. promotes parent leadership throughout the country by enhancing the meaningful role of
parents in policy decisions, program planning, Implementation and evaluation in community-based organizations,
federal, state and local governments to ensure effective programs that meet the needs of families.
Parents Anonymous, Inc. delivers comprehensive technical assistance and training to achieve successful
organizational and programmatic capacity building; produces newsletters, videos, brochures, technical assistance
bulletins, and program materials; designs national initiatives to prevent child abuse, reform child protective services. curtail
juvenile delinquency, and promote parent leadership; provides information, education, and referrals for parents and
professionals; and assists parents and professionals with advocacy efforts at the local, state and federal levels that will
generate better outcomes for families all across the country.
Parents Anonymous, Inc. conducts national public awareness activities through the media to advocate for key family
issues, and to reach out to parents seeking help to create safe and caring homes for their children.
© Parents Anonymous, Inc. 1999
20 PAGE
PARENTS ANONYMOUS
9096256304
13:53 12/17/1999
LEBRATING 30 YEARS
PARENTS
Anonymous™
Strengthening Families All Across America
PHOTOCOPY
PRESERVATION
Clinton Presidential Records
Digital Records Marker
This is not a presidential record. This is used as an administrative
marker by the William J. Clinton Presidential Library Staff.
This marker identifies the place of a publication.
Publications have not been scanned in their entirety for the purpose
of digitization. To see the full publication please search online or
visit the Clinton Presidential Library's Research Room.
PARENT LEADERSHIP SERIES
PARENTS
Anony mous"
MEDIA GUIDE
FOR PARENT
LEADERS
MAGAZINE
DAILY NEWS O
THE
e-mai:[email protected] e-mail:
629-6204 (606) XVH
1212 (60G)
CLAREMONT. CA 91711-3475
675 WEST FOOTHILL BLVD. STE. 220
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
Strengthening anothes All America
PARENTS
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
PARENTS
Building for the Future
Anonymous, Inc.
As a leading expert on family strengthening,
Parents Anonymous, Inc. creates innovative strategies
to achieve meaningful parent leadership; conducts
Strengthening
training and customized technical assistance for pub-
lic and private agencies and communities regarding
Families in
effective systems reform strategies; and shapes the
direction of public policies through strategic advocacy
and media efforts. Educational materials, newsletters,
Partnership with
technical assistance bulletins, and consultation are
provided to enhance practice and improve service
delivery resulting in stronger families, safer commu-
Communities
nities, and more positive outcomes for children and
each year ensuring the availability of Parents
youth. With an emphasis on capacity building,
Anonymous programs in their community. Through
Parents Anonymous, Inc. ensures the programmatic
collaborations with schools, Head Start programs,
and organizational success of Parents Anonymous
shelters, the courts, tribal councils, public health enti-
activities throughout the United States.
ties, social service providers, and civic organizations,
Parents Anonymous groups build and support car-
ing communities for parents and children so that the
next generation of families can live and grow in safe,
nurturing environments.
Creating Cost Savings
Nationwide
Parents Anonymous programs effectively pre-
vent child abuse and neglect, thereby eliminating the
estimated lifetime cost of more than $2 million to our
society for each abused child. Through prevention,
My first Parents Anonymous group
Parents Anonymous decreases child maltreatment
as a risk factor that can escalate into other costly
meeting replaced hopelessness with Hope.
social problems such as juvenile delinquency and
My second group meeting replaced
teen pregnancy. Investing in Parents Anonymous⁵
not only saves society millions of dollars, it also
helplessness with new ideas.
saves the lives of millions of America's children.
Strengthening Families All Across America
ate long term positive changes in their lives. Reaching
and promotes Parents Anonymous as a national
out to families in need, Parents Anonymous oper-
Model Family Strengthening Program to prevent
ates 24-hour hotlines to provide an immediate
juvenile delinquency. The first national Bulletin in
response to parents seeking help; raises awareness
OJJDP's Family Strengthening Series was on Parents
and educates the public on critical family issues and
Anonymous, Inc. and highlighted the critical linkages
community solutions; and partners with policy mak-
between Parents Anonymous and juvenile delin-
ers to ensure effective services for families all across
quency prevention efforts.
America.
"I now have the Strength to make lasting
changes in my relationship with my
Demonstrating Effectiveness
Building Stronger, Safer
"Thanks to all of the Help I got from
Families
Parents Anonymous my kids are
children
I don't feel alone anymore."
and Success
As the nation's premier family strengthening
happier and I enjoy them even more.'
National research definitively confirms the effec-
program, Parents Anonymous encourages parents
tiveness of Parents Anonymous⁵M in diminishing the
to ask for help early, whatever their circumstances, to
Parents Anonymous, Inc. was founded in 1970
through the extraordinary efforts of a courageous
impact of risk factors while dramatically increasing
effectively break the cycle of abuse to protect today's
strengths of local communities by joining with
American Indian, Latino, African-American, Asian-
the resiliency of parents and children resulting in the
children and strengthen tomorrow's generation of
mother seeking help to create a safe and caring
prevention of child abuse and juvenile delinquency.
parents. Parents Anonymous builds upon the
American, and Caucasian families living in urban and
home for her family. Working in partnership with her
strengths of parents to ensure that children live and
rural areas to develop and implement neighborhood
social worker, they launched a national movement to
Through Parents Anonymous parents identify and
grow in safe, nurturing homes by offering families
based Parents Anonymous groups. To ensure the
build on their strengths, increase their ability to deal
bring help, support, strength, and hope to millions of
help today and hope for the future.
accessibility of Parents Anonymous programs to all.
families all across America. Their vision inspired
with stress, expand their social support networks,
community members, whether they are married,
thousands of parents, professionals, and community
and develop realistic expectations of themselves and
single, divorced, teen parents, grandparents, or step
their children. Another national study concluded that
volunteers to establish Parents Anonymous groups
parents, Parents Anonymous groups meet in set-
Parents Anonymous had a significant impact on
Responding to the Diverse
throughout the United States. Currently celebrating
tings such as local community centers, churches,
alleviating child abuse and neglect, irrespective of
its 30th anniversary, Parents Anonymous, Inc.
Needs of Families
schools, housing projects, shelters, and prisons.
remains the nation's oldest child abuse prevention
other services provided including parent education
Parents Anonymous, Inc. has developed a new
classes and individual therapy. Furthermore, national
organization dedicated to strengthening families
Parents Anonymous,
Children's Program model to be implemented
research on Parents Anonymous children's programs
through innovative strategies that promote mutual
Inc. is strongly commit-
nationwide by its National Network. Every Parents,
revealed significant improvements in children's self-
support and parent leadership.
ted to providing culturally
Anonymous⁵ᵇ group will have the ability to develop
esteem, behavior, and social interaction skills. In
Parents Anonymous, Inc. leads a diverse and
responsive services that
a quality children's program, considered an integral
recognition of this demonstrated effectiveness, federal
meet the diverse needs
dynamic national network of community-based
part of Parents Anonymous
law highlights Parents Anonymous as the bench-
of families all across
Parents Anonymous groups throughout the United
mark for child abuse prevention and treatment
America. As a result,
States. These weekly, ongoing Parents Anonymous
programs throughout the United States. Moreover,
groups are co-led by parents and professionally
Parents Anonymous5M
Building Community
the U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile
trained facilitators and are free of charge to partici-
programs integrate the
Justice and Delinquency Prevention acknowledges
values, languages, and
Partnerships
pants. While the parents are meeting, their children
are engaged in specialized programs to promote
As a pioneer in building community partnerships,
their healthy growth and development. Annually,
Through the other Parents Anonymous parents,
Parents Anonymous, Inc. successfully collaborates
thousands of parents and their children come togeth-
with communities, individuals, and other organizations
er in Parents Anonymous groups to learn new
I got Support I found the courage to change."
to strengthen families. Volunteers throughout the
skills, transform their attitudes and behaviors, and cre-
country donate thousands of dollars worth of services
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
PARENTS ANONYMOUS, INC. TELEVISION APPEARANCES
A selection of television shows that featured Parents Anonymous®, its parents, and President and CEO Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin.
PARENTS
1. Four parents appeared on the The Geraldo Rivera Show Apr. 23,
Anony mous"
1998 with President and CEO Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin. The syndicated show
Strengtherung amlies Acruss America
aired in 204 cities across the nation and focused entirely on Parents
Anonymous®.
2. "You Spank, You Pay" was the topic for the Sept. 20, 1996 Leeza. It
featured appearances by a parent leader and Dr. Pion-Berlin who served as
an expert and offered commentary on the negative impact of corporal
1
punishment and how parents can nurture their children.
3. KCET-TV's (PBS) "Life & Times" featured a Parents Anonymous®
parent, her family and Dr. Pion-Berlin on a documentary about child abuse
and neglect prevention.
2
3
LEEZA
Life
climes
LISA PION-BERLIN, PH.D.
PARENTS ANONYMOUS
4
5
6
4. NBC-TV's Today Show selected Parents Anonymous® as the lead
segment to kick off a month-long series on parenting. Appearing in the
segment "Today's Parents," on Jan. 4, 1997, were Elizabeth Hart, a parent
leader from Texas, and Dr. Pion-Berlin who reinforced the message that
asking for help is a sign of strength. Thousands of parents seeking help
called the phone number provided at the end of the segment.
5. For Bill Rosendahl's Week in Review (Sept. 27, 1996), Dr. Pion-
Berlin, guest expert on child abuse and neglect, answered questions from
a diverse panel of professionals.
6. KTTV-TV's Midday Sunday (Jul. 16, 1996) with Tony Valdez featured
Dr. Pion-Berlin and a parent leader who served as an inspiration for other
parents who want to turn their lives around.
is
Nicole
Clinton Presidential Records
Digital Records Marker
This is not a presidential record. This is used as an administrative
marker by the William J. Clinton Presidential Library Staff.
This marker identifies the place of a publication.
Publications have not been scanned in their entirety for the purpose
of digitization. To see the full publication please search online or
visit the Clinton Presidential Library's Research Room.
P
R
G
R
M
S
E
R
E
S
PARENTS
Anonymous"
Shared Leadership and the Media
arents Anonymous, Inc. was the first
children. The powerful message found in the
This bulletin will
P
national family strengthening organi-
successful life stories of parents who have
help you to:
zation to identify the importance of
changed their lives through Parents
parents speaking publicly about their life
Anonymous™ is also a critical aspect of all
Evaluate and
experiences, to provide direction to these
Parents Anonymous, Inc. training and public
successfully utilize
efforts and to make a significant commit-
speaking activities.
media opportunities
ment to shaping the agenda for change. In
the early 1970s, Parents Anonymous par-
The expertise of parents, combined with that
Identify, partner
ents were the first in the country to speak
of professionals, is a dynamic example of
with, and support
out about the prevention of child abuse from
the Parents Anonymous principle of shared
parent leaders
the perspective of parents working to over-
leadership. Parents who have demonstrated
come difficulties in their lives.
their ability to resolve personal issues and
Utilize shared
concerns provide a valuable resource for the
leadership strategies
In 1973, when Jolly K., the
The power of
media. Parents Anonymous,
founding parent of Parents
Inc. is frequently contacted by
Anonymous appeared
parents speaking
Develop effective
the national media and policy-
media skills to
before the U.S. Senate
from their own
makers who are seeking
achieve results
Subcommittee on Children
experience is
expert information from both
and Youth to share her per-
parents and professionals. The
unequaled as a
sonal experiences, the exten-
power of parents speaking
Media Policy
sive media coverage generat-
mechanism for
from their own experience is
Parents Anonymous
ed by her powerful testimony
organizations should
demonstrating the
unequaled as a mechanism for
always work with local
reached every corner of the
success of Parents
demonstrating the success of
media to promote local
nation. Jolly's moving story
SM
Parents Anonymous pro-
Parents Anonymous
helped ensure passage of the
Anonymous
grams.
programs. To provide
Child Abuse Prevention and
a clear, consistent
Treatment Act (CAPTA) in 1974 and put a
Parents Anonymous is enriched nationwide
and accurate national
by the commitment and dedication of par-
voice, all contacts
human face to a complex social issue.
from national media-
CAPTA was the first federal law that
ents who found help and support and who
including national
focused on the solution to abuse and neg-
are now "giving back" to others. Through
outlets that are locally
lect. It established a federal leadership role
the courage and tenacity of Parents
based or media outside
in promoting community-based prevention
Anonymous parents who speak out
the local area-should
be referred to Parents
efforts such as Parents Anonymous This
through the media, thousands of human
Anonymous, Inc.
important legislation was reauthorized in
service professionals, policymakers and
immediately. Also, notify
1996, once again with the strong support of
other community members throughout the
Parents Anonymous, Inc.
Parents Anonymous parents, volunteers,
country have gained valuable insight into
within 24 hours of the
the broad range of issues affecting families.
media contact. In no
and staff.
Their personal stories of strength and success
event should local
Parents Anonymous
Parents Anonymous, Inc. promotes the voice
not only offer hope and inspiration, but pro-
organizations provide
of parents through print and broadcast
vide insight and expertise to help shape pro-
any information to the
media to advocate for policies and practices
grams and policies affecting families across
national media unless
that strengthen and support families, and to
the country.
specifically requested
reach out to other parents seeking help in
to do so by Parents
Anonymous, Inc.
creating safe and caring homes for their
1
Copyright 1999, Parents Anonymous, Inc.
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The day
I
hurt my child
The beginning of the end came on an
ordinary summer day. I was home with
I
didn't even believe in spanking.
my three daughters; my husband was
at work. I'd been having trouble with
Suddenly my daughters were cringing
Emily, my eldest, who was five years old.
whenever I lifted my hand. How,
I
She was still wetting her bed, a habit
1 hoped she'd break before she started
kindergarten in the fall. On this morning,
wondered, did I get here-and how
I wanted to try a holistic remedy, a pill a
friend had recommended, and I was
would | ever stop? AS TOLD TO NANCY KALISH
optimistic we would finally get this
spanking-yet I was about to confess to
1994, when my third child, Hayley, was
problem under control.
my husband, Paul, and a roomful of
born. I had suffered through bouts of
But the pill was huge, and Emily
strangers that I had abused my children.
depression after giving birth to both Emily
refused to take it. I tried everything. I
I had to end this nightmare, and this was
and Lauren, my middle daughter, then two
coaxed. I pleaded. I opened the capsule
the only way I knew to do it.
and a half years old, but this time, the black
and stirred the contents into apple sauce.
The nightmare began on November 11,
mood just wouldn't move on.
Nothing worked. She kept clamping her
Paul and I were going through
mouth shut, squirming away. Then I
My little girl was afraid of what I'd do-and so was 1.
a difficult time. We were strug-
snapped. I grabbed her, held her down,
gling financially, living in a
yanked her head back, shoved the pill in
cold, moldy old house in a small
her mouth, and started pouring water
California town. Emily had
down her throat. All the while, Emily was
begun wetting her bed almost
crying and choking and begging, "Please,
every night since the baby
Mommy, don't. I love you, Mommy."
was born. And Hayley had
Looking back, the incident seems like
developed a severe respiratory
an out-of-body experience-me, Normal
infection when she was three
Julie, looking down on Crazy, Out-of-
months old that put her in
Control Julie. I didn't stop until Emily
the hospital. For eight days, I
had swallowed the pill.
spent practically every minute
That's why I found myself anxiously
with her. Although Paul took
waiting for a meeting of Parents Anonymous
a little time off, he soon had to
to begin. All I'd ever wanted was to be a
return to his job as a medical
good mother-I didn't even believe in
supplies salesman.
Fortunately, I had one good
YOU'VE CROSSED
friend, Joanne, who saw me
THE LINE TO
through the ordeal. We had met
ABUSE WHEN
at a breast-feeding clinic and
quickly found that we shared
the same ideas about parenting,
What mom hasn't lost it once or twice? Exhaustion, overextension, or a preschooler's
about staying at home and devoting
obnoxious comment can occasionally transform any mom from Dr. Jekyll to
ourselves to our kids. Joanne sat with
Ms. Hyde. But how do you know when you've gone too far? Chris Monaco, Ph.D.,
me through long nights, comforted
director of the National Child Abuse Hotline, offers the following warning signs
me as I watched Hayley struggle for
that can indicate it's time to get help.
breath in her hospital crib, and
1. You leave marks on
4.
You have thoughts of
"You're SO stupid."
brought magazines to distract me
your child's body when you
harming her.
7. You have fantasies of
from my anxieties.
discipline her.
5. You give her lots of time-
leaving your child.
She was also there for me when
2. Your only form of
outs just to get her away
8. Your child is displaying
I brought Hayley home from the hos-
discipline is spanking.
from you.
acts of aggression.
pital and when I came down with
3. Your child winces when-
6. You criticize or embar-
9. You push your child to
an awful case of the flu. She listened
ever you come near.
rass her with phrases like
the floor. -Molly MacDermot
patiently as I browbeat myself for
being a terrible mother (continued)
80
www.redbcokmag.com JUNE 1999
I hurt my child
mommy, and the next I'd be a depressed,
NO ONE WOULD HELP ME
horrible mommy. They never knew whom
Less than two weeks later it happened
(continued)
to expect, and frankly, neither did I. It got
again-I almost drowned Emily trying to
to the point where they would cringe
get her to take that huge pill. I had finally
who was unable to care for my children
whenever I lifted my hand, even if I was
crossed a line that horrified me. Hysterical,
properly, keeping them in a moldy house
just reaching up to get something out of
[ called a child abuse hot line I found in
that the pediatrician said may have con-
a kitchen cabinet.
the phone book. I thought, if I can do this
tributed to Hayley's illness.
Things were the worst with Emily. We
to my daughter, what might I do next?
All winter I had felt as if I was spin-
were similar in personality and frequently
The woman who answered said she could
ning from one crisis to another, unable to
butted heads. She was excited about
send a social worker out to see me, but
get a handle on my life. Then spring
starting kindergarten, although she still
that what I'd done was probably an iso-
brought surprisingly good news. Paul's
had several boring months to wait. She
lated incident. I didn't sound like a child
brother generously loaned us the cash
became more difficult with.each passing
abuser, she said, and desperate to believe
to move to a small house in a rural com-
day. My husband kept telling me that I
her, I hung up the phone. Still, I knew
munity nearby, and Paul was working so
wasn't tough enough on her. I now know
something was very wrong. I tried a few
much-sometimes as many as 60 hours
that he meant I should have been more
other numbers, with no luck. One hot line
a week-that we would have plenty of
consistent with Emily, but at the time, I
operator said she could help me only if
money. Even though that meant he
thought being tougher meant being
my child had been sexually molested. The
wouldn't be around as much as I would
meaner. I felt unable to control my daugh-
other numbers had been disconnected.
have liked, I'd have Joanne and her brood
ters, and force seemed the only way to
Over time, I became increasingly
to keep us company.
maintain order.
depressed. One day I was driving into
Soon after we moved, however, Joanne
One day I really lost it. Emily talked
town with all three kids in the car. Emily
told me her husband had gotten a new
back to me, and I spanked her hard-so
and Lauren were bouncing around; I
job; she would be moving 1,000 miles
hard she fell to the floor. Then I kicked
couldn't hear myself think. I saw a truck
away to North Dakota. I was crushed. I
her. Luckily, something stopped me there.
coming toward me in the opposite lane
loved the new house, but neither the kids
I watched in amazement and horror as
and had an almost overwhelming impulse
nor I had any friends in the area. When
my daughter ran to her room crying, and
to drive head-on into it. After that, I
my car died, I couldn't even take Emily
I burst into tears myself. Inside, I was
couldn't get the thought of killing myself
and Lauren to their playgroup. Every
screaming: That's not me! That wasn't
out of my head. What if I wasn't able to
morning, I'd watch Paul drive off to work
me! I was terrified that whoever it was
hold myself back the next time? What was
and feel more and more isolated.
would do it again.
I capable of? I didn't know. (continued)
DEPRESSION TURNED TO VIOLENCE
WHERE TO TURN WHEN
With a barren summer looming, I started
zoning out. The kids wanted me to play
YOU NEED HELP
with them, but I rarely had enough energy.
I'd do a minimal amount of housework,
HOT LINES
then sit in the living room for hours on
end, sleeping or doing nothing.
Parents Anonymous: 909-621-6184
The program (including childcare
(or visit the Web site at:
Emily and Lauren knew something
during meetings) is free.
was wrong, and they struggled to get my
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org)
Childhelp USA: 800-4-A-CHILD
This organization has more than
The national 24-hour hot line is
attention. When I didn't respond, they
misbehaved; they knew just how to push
2,000 branches nationwide that
staffed by trained counselors who
my buttons. I'd always been so careful to
provide a nonjudgmental place for
can help with a range of problems,
avoid spanking them. Although I'd been
parents to share their frustrations
from "How do I stop his crying?" to
beaten only once as a child, I had seen my
and learn better child-rearing skills.
"I think I'm going to harm my baby."
father whip my older sisters frequently.
He ruled our family with fear. I couldn't
WEB SITES
bear the thought that my children would
see me as we had seen him.
National Clearinghouse on Child
American Academy of Pediatrics:
But as my world began to shrink, my
Abuse and Neglect Information:
www.aap.org
sense of doom deepened, and I could no
www.calib.com/nccanch
National Committee to Prevent Child
longer control my frustration. I would
National Council on
Abuse: www.childabuse.org
explode suddenly and begin yelling,
Child Abuse and Family Violence:
Shaken Baby Syndrome Prevention Plus:
screaming, and sometimes spanking. I
www.nccafv.org
www.sbsplus.com
didn't want to, but 1 literally didn't know
what else to do.
BOOKS
After each episode, I was ashamed and
remorseful and promised myself it would
Positive Parenting from A to Z,
Chernofsky and Diane Gage
never happen again. I'd stick to it for a
by Karen Renshaw Joslin
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen/How to
while. I'd overlook behaviors my girls had
Change Your Child's Behavior by
Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber
been severely punished for before. One
Changing Yours, by Barbara
and Elaine Mazlish
-M.M.
minute I'd be a happy, wonderful, nice
82 www.redbookmag.com JUNE 1999
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I hurt my child
husbands like mine. And I actually thought,
Well, it could be a lot worse. The group
(continued)
leader told me I had done something really
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positive for myself and my family by coming
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But I knew I had to get help or I could die.
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was a drug- and alcohol-recovery therapist.
and I wept in relief.
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ommended a support group run by Parents
I learned how to be a different kind of
Anonymous.
Visit www.redbookmag.com to enter the
parent. I really didn't know how to dis-
Gatorade Playbook for Kids Contest.
The next meeting was an interminably
cipline my children without yelling and
The grand prize is a Ford Windstar
W
long two days away, but just knowing I
hitting. Now I take away their privileges
minivan. Two contestants win
Gatorade
was finally going to get help made me feel
and use time-outs. When I can't handle
a $1,000 sporting goods gift
better. Paul volunteered to attend the
certificate and a one year
the pressure, I take a time-out myself. I
meeting with me, which made me a little
supply of Gatorade.
tell the kids I'm going into the bedroom
Gatorade is searching for parents' game-tested
nervous. He knew I had a problem, but
for five minutes alone, and when I come
tips for preparing their young athletes physically
he didn't know just how big that problem
out we'll play a game. And sometimes
and emotionally to play hard and have fun.
had grown. I was afraid he would leave
when Emily starts getting upset about
See page 23 for details.
me when he found out.
something, she'll give herself a time-out
in her room until she calms down.
Gillette
LEARNING TO BE A GOOD PARENT
Paul has stood by me every step of the
for Women
Gillette for Women Satin
By the time we arrived at Parents
Satin Care
Care Moisture Rich Shave
way and has used the PA techniques to
Gel has seven special
Anonymous, I was determined to get it
become a better parent himself. We go
moisturizers and skin conditioners. It now
all out in the open, no matter what the
to marriage counseling once a month,
comes in a unique Soft Touch bottle that's really
consequences. When my turn to talk
and I no longer fear he's going to leave
easy to handle. Use it with your SensorExcel
came, I blurted out the entire shameful
razor for a satiny-smooth shave. Nothing Else
if I screw up. We're together for the long
Feels Like Satin. Visit www.Gillette.com for
story. I could see that Paul was stunned,
haul, and it's safe to talk to him about
more information.
not only by what I had done to the kids
things that are bothering me before they
but also by my thoughts of suicide. His
blow up.
own mother had died of a suspicious over-
I still have difficult times. I still raise
Lipton
RECIPE SECRETS.
dose of pills. But Paul squeezed my hand
my voice. But most of the time, I feel con-
to show his support, and this gave me the
fident and in control. While I realize I'll
Visit www.recipesecrets.com for hundreds of
strength to continue.
never be a perfect mom, I'm finally the
easy and delicious recipes using Lipton Recipe
The rest of the group was not surprised
good mom I've always wanted to be. Best
Secrets. You'll find terrific, family pleasing
by my revelations. Many of them had done
recipes using your favorite ingredients in our
of all, Emily, Lauren, and Hayley are
"Reçipe Search" section. Don't forget to enter
similar or more serious things. Many of the
happy. When they look at me, I no longer
the "Cook Off" contest for your chance to win
women sat there alone, without supportive
see fear in their eyes. I see respect.
great prizes!
LIZ claiborne
HOW TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER
These exercises, sup-
walk-even if it's to pick
To gain perspective,
Visit www.lizclaiborne.com to view the
plied by Lisa Pion-Berlin,
up the paper from the
pretend you're
latest Liz Claiborne fashions, learn about
Ph.D., president and CEO
new products and in-store events, enter our
stoop or circle the yard.
looking at yourself
of Parents Anonymous,
If your kids are little and
sweepstakes and find the store nearest you
through a one-way
that carries Liz Claiborne merchandise.
can pull you back from
need constant supervi-
mirror. This should give
that dangerous blow-
sion, you can still walk to
you the clarity to calm
your-stack point:
the other side of the room
down a bit.
First, learn the cues
to put on the radio or
SallyHansen:
Rail at the behavior,
that signal you're about to
water the plants.
not the child. Instead
lose it. Does your voice
Call a friend for a com-
This summer, go cyber-surfing at
of saying, "You're driving
reach an abnormally high
fort chat or a hot line
www.sallyhansen.com to catch the wave of
me crazy, you're making
summer's hottest nail and lip collections. Click
pitch? Does your child's
(see page 82) for advice.
me late for work!" try,
into personalized manicure tips for your favorite
expression move from
Let go. Sometimes the
"Nail Styles"; read up on expert advice for
defiance to fear?
"This crying has to stop
fight isn't worth the cost.
because it's making
growing strong and healthy nails; and vie for
When you recognize
Give her another cookie.
us late." The depersonal-
the chance to win over $30 worth of free
the cue, retreat to your
Let her paint her lips
Sally Hansen products!
ization will be good for
room or take a quick
purple this one time.
both of you.
-M.M.
Daily Bulletin
Sunday, August 1, 1999
10
Art from the East
Pasadena museum
celebrates art and
culture of Asia.
page D4
LifeStyle
IT TAKES
A VILLAGE
Parents Anonymous
helps parents
help children
HASEL
Richard Haselrig Staff Artist
By Suzanne Sproul
situations are dealt with," she said. "If
Staff Writer
you as a parent need support of any
A father
kind, come and work with 114. We're
gets help
Comments on Parents Anonymous
or three decades, Parents Anonymous Inc.
here to help. Share your joys with us
F
has helped parents deal with their
as well as your challenges."
children. It's an accomplishment group
The group offers 24-hour hotlines.
See D2
"I think Parents Anonymous is good for parents for
members feel is worthy of sharing with
All services are free. As the name
many reasons
Before my mom was in Parents
others.
implies, individuals lise only their first names.
Anonymous me and my mom weren't the best of
The nation's oldest and largest child abuse
Anonymity helps open the line of communication
friend: But now since she's joined, our lives have been
prevention, education and treatment program, the
"We don't want people to feel embarrassed or
better. I love my mom and I'm glad she's in Parents
organization has a network of 1,200 community
ashamed to ask for help. Again, we do not exist solely
groups throughout the United States, including an
Anonymous." - C Parents Anonymous child
for parents who find themselves in unfortunate
office in Claremont.
situations Any parent anywhere can come to group
"Before I joined Parents Anonymous my children
"It is in these non-punitive and accepting
and talk with other parents. The goal is helping each
environments that parents can identify and build on
used 10 cringe whenever lifted my arm, even to just
other," she said.
their strengths, decrease their feelings of social
pick something up. Now they don't
they're not
In fact, the four principles of the organization are
isolation by expanding social support networks and
the belief in parental leadership, mutual support,
afraid of me anymore." -- Julie C., Parents Anonymous
develop realistic expectations of themselves and their
from Collernia.
shared leadership and the need for personal growth.
children," said Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, Parents
While parents meet. children can participate in
Anonymous Inc. president and chief executive officer.
"A" Parents Anonymous have found the support
I
programs where they, 100, can improve their self-
Parents Anonymous works on the grassroots level,
esteem, behavior patterns and SIX ial skills.
need 21 a person, a woman, wife and mother, as it is
using parents and trained facilitators to help mothers
"The prevention of child abuse starts in the womb;
very deficilt to be 3 mother. I encourage other parents
and fathers deal with the anger, disappointment and
it starts early in life." Williams said. "We at Parents
to assee Parents Anonymous to learn better parenting
frustration involved in the relationships with their
Anonymous want parents to know that We
and with your children new behaviors. What is
children. The aim is to strengthen families and stop
understand how difficult parenting 0:00 be This thing
important is for us to change as individuals in order to
child abuse or prevent it from happening.
we call parenting is challenging be: it also is, and can
better cope with and understand other problems that
But the organization shouldn't be viewed only in
be. very rewarding
COME + and need to be resolved." Punla, Parents
clinical terms, said Yolanda Williams, director of
"We want people to realize it's OK to make
Anonyer in from California
Parents Anonymous of California Inc. from the
mistakes, your does, but what is not OK is to not
Claremont office.
do something to correct them when problems
"Parents Anonymous is where mommy goes to be
"We want the public in be aware that we exist and
happen."
better garent Parents Anonymous child.
have done SO for the past 30 years. And we don't want
Parents Anonyments the can 1.. reach de collung
to be perceived 05 a place where only abusive
bird
Daily Bulletin, Sunday. August 1, 1999
Father gets help with managing
Regu
By Stuart
family from Parents Anonymous
Knight Ridder
It's the Si
If food colle
Suzanne Sproul
lies and need help.
bines with
Staff Writer
"I knew that as he (the oldest
which then
child) was growing up, the way I
Warning
pockets of
Joe is raising three children on
was communicating with him
teeth to loo
his own and finding it more than
wasn't working," Joe said. "I also
The resu
challenging.
realized that the only thing that
"It was easier to communicate
I'm going to get fast in this world
signs
It's the Si
dog or cat,
with them when they were little,
is at McDonald's or Jack in the
the dentist
but it got much harder as they
Box. Being a father is something
The own
got older and I found I needed
I have to work at and that was a
Parenting is an ongoing,
best intere
help," he said.
real surprise to me, to learn that
lifetime commitment. There
Accordin
All three children spent vari-
I'm 40 and still growing."
are no easy answers and
ria Animal
ous amounts of time in Depart-
He said his goal was to
individuals must determine
avoiding "C
ment of Children's Services pro-
progress and create a positive
If you ig
the right balance of love
grams, until Joe took complete
parental relationship with his
ria can ent
custody of them. That meant
children. "I found myself scram-
and discipline for their
valve disea
shouldering the role of both
bling to learn to be a dad and to
family. But sometimes a
disease. A
mother and father, breadwinner,
be able to talk to them."
parent can go too far The
ing on W00
disciplinarian, etc., to three chil-
He found something at Par-
following are some of the
painful ab:
dren all younger than 6.
ents Anonymous.
But wha
warning signs, targeted by
The family struggled to adjust
During the weekly meetings,
For one)
the National Child Abuse
to each other with some success
Joe met other parents grappling
No, it's nol
and setbacks, until tensions
with similar problems. He felt
Hotline, that could mean
ble it soun
reached a critical juncture dur-
and welcomed the ongoing
you're in trouble and you
It's best
ing an argument that got physi-
mutual support. He learned the
should ask for help.
puppy or 1
cal. Joe's oldest son pushed him
goal is to create solutions and
learn to to
and the father pushed back.
options and to take responsibil-
Discipline has its place
To begin
That happened about two years
ity as a parent.
but if you leave physical
finger aloi
What he didn't find was a
with a tre
ago.
"He hurt himself and I hurt
marks on your child there is
magic cure-all. One doesn't exist,
Gradual
him. I knew right then and there
he said.
a problem. Spanking
and soon
that I couldn't react this way.
"I've seen slow growth in com-
shouldn't be the only form
and veteri
Something in my gut told me I
munication. It's been more of a
of handling matters.
Never u
needed to take responsibility
three steps up and one step back
and I started looking for help,"
kind of thing. We've made
If your child winces
he said.
progress, though.
when you come near her,
Wh
Joe turned to Parents Anony-
"When things were wrong
she is afraid and you need
mous Inc. He needed direction
there were a multitude of factors
involved. I knew our life wasn't
to examine why.
By Jaime
and support in dealing with his
N.Y. Times N
two sons, now 7 and 10, and
healthy for them and I wasn't
daughter, 6. He now is a parent
doing my best for them. What I
If your child is overly
leader with a group that meets
was showing the children was
aggressive you need to find
The inv:
weekly in Pomona.
that their options were limited.
out why.
stamped,
Gift-bea
As part of the organization's
I'm teaching them now that
that's not the case.
If you think about
guests are
tenets, individuals use only their
The org
first names. That seems to
"T'o be honest, I think I'm
harming or leaving your
poised jus
lessen the stigma for mothers
doing a pretty darn good job. All
child, seek immediate help.
and then
and fathers who realize they
this has shown me that I, too,
"I can't
have lost control in their fami-
can grow."
To quot
jilted, a li
Involvement in music may give parents edge with kids
ding Sing
"Don't
mation W
useful to
By Margaret Sagarese
old's fascination with Marilyn
stand during performances
Associated Press
Manson could warrant a closer
because the crowd often pushes
They're
look.
these wot
toward the stage or turns into a
Summer is here. For adoles-
ries that
One of the best ways for par-
writhing mosh pit. Those near
cents that means concerts
ents to understand what the
the front risk being crushed.
nightmar
galore. As if the price tag of con-
dance the
music means to a young teen is
Buying tickets to seated concerts
diffident
cert tickets wasn't unnerving
to attend a rock concert together.
is safer.
enough, parents have other wor-
Julia R
Parents can tag along with a
Many fans want to gather out-
rien. Are concerts safe? Will
takes the
prefeen and A friend. With an
side stadiums and wait for the
"Runawa
there be drugs? Should a 10-
older adolescent, they might not
tour bases to arrive. Parents
vear-old be allowed to go?
be welcome in the next seat, but
should take special care here
ing case
Roberts (
Dally Bulletin, Thursday, August 28, 1997
Parents group buoyed by column
By Monica Rodriguez
Daily Bulletin
Related story
Parents Anonymous groups around the coun-
try, including one based in Claremont, are gear-
Ann Landers recommends Parents Anonymous
ing up for a flood of phone calls today.
to a struggling young mother who fears that her
The calls are expected to come from parents
impatient nature will eventually drive her to abuse
who may be in a situation similar to the one
her 3-year-old daughter. Page B9
Impatient in Pa." is facing.
mont office at (909) 621-6184.
"Impatient" is a single mother of a 3-year-old
The organization was founded in 1970 when
who wrote to columnist Ann Landers about the
a group of mothers began meeting to talk about
stress she faces as a parent.
the pressures and challenges involved in rear-
In today's column, "Impatient" says she loves
ing children.
her daughter but yells at and frequently spanks
Parents Anonymous Inc. has since grown and
her. She fears the situation will escalate if she
is now open to mothers, fathers, teen parents,
doesn't get help soon.
single parents even grandparents - who are
Landers responds by recommending "Impa-
interested in becoming better parents.
tient" seek the assistance of Parents Anony-
It is not just for those who are potentially abu-
mous.
sive or have already abused their children,
"When I read the letter, I saw it was very typ-
Rafael said.
ical of how many parents who come to us feel,"
"We focus on strengthening families," she
said Teresa Rafael, vice president of programs
said. "Parents Anonymous is essentially for
for Parents Anonymous.
anyone in a parenting role who's feeling some
Organization officials were notified they
stress and needs information."
would be named in the column and have sched-
The group also serves to build a sense of com-
uled extra people to handle the telephone lines.
munity among parents. They take on the
They've even converted a New Jersey Parents
responsibility of helping others with the help
Anonymous group's line into a toll-free num-
of professional facilitators, Rafael said.
ber. The group wants to be able to take calls
Patty Encino, 30, of Pomona, faces challenges
from around the country and offer parents a
similar to those faced by. "Impatient". About
Marc Campos/for the Daily Bulletin
referral to an office near them, Rafael said.
two years ago, after years of searching, she
The organization's toll free number is 1-800-
finally hooked up with the Claremont parents
Patty Encino and her children Manuel, 2, Crys-
843-5437.
tal, 11, Lovette, 6, and Junior, 5 gather on their
group.
It will be in operation for about a week.
"They were like my savior," Encino said.
patio in Pomona on Wednesday afternoon. Patty
Locally, interested parents can call the Clare-
See PARENTS/A4
says she has been helped by Parents Anonymous.
Parents/from A1
"They were there. They supported
Encino said the group has helped
me.
I know nobody is there to
her become a better parent and a
judge me. Thank God for those
better person. She can now com-
meetings."
municate with her children and
Encino, who has four children
discipline them without striking
under 11, says she was verbally
them or screaming.
and physically abusive. Her eldest
Encino feels better about herself
child was skittish and often cov-
She helps other parents deal with
ered her head for fear that she
problems similar to her own, and
would be hit.
her 11-year-old daughter's grades
Things began to change after she
at school are improving as well.'
joined the support group.
The San Bernardino County
"I don't use profanity anymore,"
Department of Social Services often
Encino said. "Before every other
refers parents who have had their
word was 'you're a this or a that.'
children taken away to the group.
"
Parents "can see their mistakes
"Calling them stupid and (say-
and don't end up in the situation
ing) to get your ass over here
they were in again," said Rodric
those are ugly words when you lis-
Morrs, a spokesman for the county
ten to them," Encino said.
agency.
PEOPLE
H
SECTION
Profile
Once a parent seeking help; Freddie Gardner
now national board chairman of Parents Anonymous
Full Circle
By CEORGE MORRIS
Advocate stall writer
n 1984, Freddie Gardner admits,
he had to be dragged kicking
and screaming to a Parents
Anonymous meeting. But it was
either go or lose his family.
Today, he is the organization's
national board chairman - the first
in Its 26-year history to have origi-
nally come to PA seeking its help.
Gardner, a Greenwell Springs res-
ident, assumed the post Oct. 1.
Parents Anonymous provides child
abuse prevention, education and
treatment programs through more
than 2,000 support groups through-
out the country. Gardner had been
on the board for five years, having
already served four years on the
Louisiana Council on Child Abuse
board of directors.
"He is one of the most exceptional
parents I have ever met," said Lisa
Pion-Berlin, president and chief
executive officer of Parents
Anonymous. "He handles teen-
agers better than anybody 1 know."
She wouldn't have said that 12
years ago. Looking back, neither
would Gardner.
In the fourth year of his second
marriage, he had an 18-year-old
daughter from his first marriage.
His wife had an 1-year-old son, and
together they had 3-year-old twins.
Gardner's relationship with his
stepson, Shane, was not going well.
Advocate staff photo by John H. Williams
Gardner expected Shane to do
Freddie Gardner, second from right, sought help from Parents Anonymous 12 years ago, and now he is its nation-
better in school, to be more athletic,
al board chairman. With him are his wife, Virginia, and children Melanie and Michael.
Sec GARDNER, Page 10H
10H
SUNDAY ADVOCATE. Baton Rouge, La.
November 17, 1996
Gardner
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1H
to keep his room neat. Gardner, with
Wrong answer.
!
Gardner took her place.
"It's not acceptable in our society
31 years In the Army Reserves and
"I blew up." Gardner said. "I said,
On Parents Anonymous' national
today to have a problem as a par-
National Guard, said he expected his
'Let me tell you one blankety-blank
board, Gardner has led workshops
ent," Pion-Berlin said. "We're sup-
children to respond to orders the
thing right now. There ain't notody
on how to work with parents, using
posed to be born as parents. We're
way soldiers did.
on the face of the Earth going to sit
his experience as an example.
supposed to be excellent at it. In the
Those expectations weren't being
down and tell me how to raise my
"He is a good teacher and a good
grocery store, if somebody yells at a
met.
kids.'
listener," Pion-Berlin said. "He
kid, everybody turns around.
"I guess it was either the way I
"She said, "Well, I'm going to tell
learned most of his skills by being
"Everybody yells at their Kids.
was raised or my own makeup."
you now - we're going. and we're
supported and supporting other pcu-
Everybody is having a tough time.
Gardner said. "I expected and de.
going tonight!'
ple through Parents Anonymous."
What we try to do is acknowledge it.
manded, basically, perfection from
They went, and Cardner was sur-
As board chairman, Gardner said
We don't accept the behavior people
anyone who was associated with me.
prised by what he encountered. He
his goal is to influence private and
have done that is harmful to their
"He's not that type - never has
had expected a social worker telling
government donations to Parents
children, but we accept them for
been, never will be. I couldn't handle
parents what they were doing wrong
Anonymous and to influence child
wanting to change that.
it, 50 all my frustrations I took out
and what they had to change. There
abuse legislation.
"People are looking for help, and
on him, physically and verbally or
was a parenting professional there,
One of Parents Anonymous' big-
the only way we're going to prevent
emotionally.
but he said his role was to facilitate
gest obstacles is parents' fear of
the problem is making it OK to ask
"One afternoon I just lost it."
discussion.
admitting they're having problems
for help. Asking for help is a sign of
Someone saw that Incident, which
Parents began talking about what
dealing with their children.
strength."
Gardner describes as "more severe
had happened in their families the
than a spanking but less severe than
previous week. They asked others
a beating." Gardner doesn't know
what they had done in similar situa-
who It was, but that person called
tions. The Gardners observed silent-
authorities and reported it.
ly for about an hour before Virginia
"About 9 o'clock, 9:30, I looked up,
spoke.
and it looked like NYPD in my front
"She didn't talk very long. and she
yard," Gardner said. "Half the East
looked at me and said, 'You don't
Baton Rouge Sheriffs-Department
have anything to say?' Gardner
was at my house."
said. "And all of a sudden, all of it
Sheriff's deputies talked sepa-
just came out - everything
rately to Gardner, his wife Virginia
"The biggest surprise 1 had was
and Shane, then left. About two
that no one sitting around the table
hours later, a deputy called and said
criticized me, put me down, nothing.
they were not pressing charges but
They accepted what I said, whether
suggested Gardner seek some par.
it was right, wrong or indifferent."
enting help.
Finally. the facilitator fored
Gardner wasn't interested.
Gardner a suggestion.
"Being the male with a male cgo, I
"He said, Take the word expec-
never do anything wrong." Gardner
tations out of your vocabulary, cs-
said. "Everything calmed down in
pecially with kids; because the more
two or three nights:
you expect, the more you will be dis-
"My wife came home one after-
appointed,' Gardner said. "You sct
noon and said, 'OK, now you've
ground rules, and they'r like two
calmed down, and I've calmed down.
fences and they stay between
Here is the ultimatum: We either do
those two fences. Don't expect them
something. or me and these kids are
to stay right down the middle.
gone.
"Since then, that's what Virginia
Gardner didn't want that, but he
and I have done at the house with
never agreed to any of her sugges-
kids. We've established pretty wide
tions. One day, she brought home a
- a whole lot wider than I am
Parents Anonymous brochure.
guidelines. They'll bump the fences
When Gardner asked what it was
every once in a while!"
about, she told him that people at
Gardner said it took him about six
meetings would tell them how to be
months before he began feeling
better parents.
comfortable with this new parenting
style. But it seemed to be working.
His relationship with his stepson
and children had improved.
His feelings were confirmed a few
years later. when his daughter,
Melanie, invited him to her second-
grade class on a day when parents
talked about their vocations.
"My daughter introduced me as
her dad and her best friend,"
Gardner said.
"He has changed a lot," Virginia
Gardner said. "He's learned a lot
more patience with the kids. Things
change, and he wasn't used to
change.
"It's made a big difference with
the twins compared to what it was
with Shane, and it's made a big dif-
ference with Shane. They have a
good relationship. :., He's also
learned - He both have - that if
someone is not Just like you, you
accept them for what they are."
The Gardners continued to attend
PA meetings, but now they were
helping other parents. Virginia was
Invited to Join the Louisiana Council
on Child Abuse board of directors.
When her term expired in 1986,
YOUR CHILD'S WORLD
Where You Can Turn
By CARLA KOEHL
Alaska, when she found an online breast-feeding newsgroup. "I
VID "TELE-PARENTS" WILL TELL YOU THAT THERE'S
was really lonely," she says. "It was a huge relief." Now that
A
nothing like a phone jack and 16 megabytes of RAM
Rory's 9 months, the baby books are hinting that he's eating too of-
for navigating the mysteries, hurdles and hassles of
ten. Ripley's group (misc.kids.breastfeeding) says otherwise. "You
life with an infant or toddler. If only you had Net-
don't just want to have someone validate everything you think,"
scape and a 28.8 modem-or at least speed-dial-
she says. "But it's such a variety of voices, you can cull." Even in
they'll say, you'd be surfing and dialing your way to parental
Los Angeles, where there's no such thing as a remote location,
bliss with all the child-rearing info that's available by PC and
actor Brian Markinson logs on whenever he and his wife are
phone. Are they batty? No. Just a little excited.
stumped about their 9-month-old. "It's another resource," he says,
There are now more places than ever to
"rather than call a doctor and feel like you're
phone for help when mothers and fathers feel
being a pain."
parentally challenged. And the explosion of
Technological alarmists, of course, take de-
parenting Web sites and newsgroups that's
light in warning that millions of modem-happy
taken place on the Internet over the last five
moms and dads will do nothing but produce
years is connecting families from household to
millions of antisocial, monitor-gazing kids. A
household the way the telephone did for the
reliance on dial-tone parenting, they insist,
first time in 1876. Only this time the advance in
WILSON
keeps families, friends and neighbors from
communications isn't just overcoming distance
trading advice the old-fashioned way: in per-
and isolation. It's conquering stigmas.
son. But a glance at all the live, wired inter-
Kate Ripley was nursing her newborn in
action out there suggests that, so far, the
her cabin half an hour outside Fairbanks,
Online support: Rory and Kate
alarmists are wrong.
On the Net
ParenthoodWeb
On the Phone
callers on nonmedical essen-
http://parenthoodweb.com
tials like diapering, sleeping
Usenet
Pediatricians and psychiatrists
Child Care Aware
and "lots and lots of questions
alt.parenting and misc.kids
respond (in due time) to your
800-424-2246
about food," says one operator.
Great places to start on the
e-mail. Meanwhile, they've
Operators refer parents any-
National Parent Information
Usenet-the Internet's collec-
posted their stock answers to
where in the country to
Network
tion of newsgroups- for dis-
anything-but-stock questions,
licensed and accredited child-
800-583-4135
cussions on hundreds of topics
including "Did we make a mis-
care centers in their area.
NPIN boasts the largest par-
from teething and breast-
take by having a child?"
They'll also send, at no charge,
enting database in the country.
feeding to pets and snoring.
Parenting Q&A
an information packet on how
Researchers hunt down refer-
Also, rec.arts.books.children is
http://www.parenting-qa.com/
to choose quality child care.
rals, abstracts and answers-
a 24-hour-a-day book group on
This site calls itself the only
Coordinated by the National
and send them free of charge-
children's literature.
one on the Web "solely devot-
Association of Child Care Re-
to hundreds of callers every
Childbirth.Org
ed to providing parents with
source and Referral Agencies.
month. Trouble with toilet
http://www.childbirth.org
answers to their most press-
Weekdays, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. CST.
training. the merits of co-op
Top discussion forums here,
ing questions." It does answer
ChildHelp National Hotline
playgroups vs. private pre-
and a home page that gets right
questions faster than most
800-4-A-CHILD
schools, baby bowel move-
to the point on tough issues,
other sites we tried. But it
Twenty-four-hour advice and
ments: absolutely nothing is out
including "Pregnancy & HIV,"
also offers essays on touchy
referrals for children and
of bounds here. Weekdays,
"Having Your First Baby Over
subjects like spirituality, and
adults with questions or in
S a.m.-5 p.m. CST.
35" and "Complications."
suggests reading lists for kids,
crisis. Staffers with graduate
Parents Anonymous
Family.com
games for rainy days.
degrees in counseling field
909-621-6184 (not toll-free)
http://www.family.com
ParentSoup
calls on issues ranging from
The national office in Clare-
Disney's new site has been
http://www.parentsoup.com/
child-abuse prevention to
mont, Calif., refers parents to
criticized for being more up-
Excellent discussion forums
whether it's normal for a 3-
45 state and regional affiliates,
scale than helpful. But their
address everything from step-
year-old girl to try urinating
which offer support groups,
bulletin boards and chat
parenting and disciplining
while standing up. (Yes, says
counseling, referrals. Week-
rooms are filled with the
closely spaced siblings to pre-
a hotline counselor, it is.)
days, 8 a.m.-4:30 p.m. PST.
voices of intelligent, caring
mature babies and children
Gerber Information Line
Single Parents Association
parents. They must be doing
with attention deficit disorder.
800-443-7237
800-704-2102
something right.
Zero to Three
Tipper Gore's recorded wel-
This line, which has just gone
ParenTalk Newsletter
http://www.zerotothree.org
come message jolts you from
national, helps parents find
http://www.tnpc.com/
The Washington, D.C.-based
thoughts of strained peas on this
support groups and resources
parentalk/index.html
child-advocacy group has just
24-hour consumer-info line (she
in their communities, fields
Clearly written articles by
launched its Web site. On it: a
reminds callers that doctors
questions on parenting skills
physicians and psychologists.
wealth of research and infor-
recommend having babies sleep
and reminds single parents
What this site lacks in graphic
mation on physical, cognitive
on their backs). Moms, dads,
that they're not alone. Week-
creativity, it makes up for in
and social development of
grandparents-n nurses
days, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. CST.
sheer mass of information.
infants and toddlers.
work the phones, advising
With T. TRENT GEGAX
96
NEWSWEEK SPECIAL ISSUE
YOUR CHILD
Spring/Summer 1997 : $3.50
From Birth
to Three
What You Need
To Know
How Speech
Begins
A Baby's Brain
Genes &
Emotions
What's Normal,
What's Not
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
675 WEST FOOTHILL BLVD.
SUITE 220
CLAREMONT, CALIFORNIA
91711-3475
(909) 621-6184 ext.207
FAX (909) 398-1864
e-mail: [email protected]
14.
PARENTS
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org
Anonymous™
LISA PION-BERLIN, PH.D.
PRESIDENT AND
Strengthening Families All Across America
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER
12/11/08
FALL
002
BARBARA BOXER
COMMITTEES
CALIFORNIA
BUDGET
CAVIRONMENT
AND PUBLIC WORKS
United States Senate
FOREIGN RELATIONS
HART SENATE OFFICE BUILDING
SUITE 112
WASHINGTON, DC 20510-0505
(202) 224-3553
[email protected]
http://boxer.senate.gov
December 15, 1999
The Honorable Donna E. Shalala
Secretary
Department of Health and Human Services
200 Independence Avenue, S. W.
Washington, D. C. 20201
Dear Secretary Shalala:
Parents Anonymous, Inc. has served families across the Nation for over 30 years and has
been a leading organization in the fight to prevent child abuse and neglect. Congress has
supported Parents Anonymous for four of the past six years, and this organization was identified
in the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act of 1996 as an effective model of community
programs.
The Senate Labor, Health and Human Services and Education Appropriations
subcommittee has included report language recommending that your agency utilize its
discretionary funds to assist Parents Anonymous, Inc. This assistance helps Parents Anonymous
to maintain and expand a national network of support and self help programs to strengthen
families and to prevent child abuse and neglect.
As a supporter of the goals and purpose of this organization, I am hopeful that your
department will continue to provide $1 million for Parents Anonymous, Inc. through section
105(a)(2) of the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act: Mutual Support Program for FY
2000 based on the Committee's Report language.
Please contact Dana Lewis on my staff at (202)224-3553 if can provide you with further
information. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Barbara Boxer
U.S. Senator
1700 MONTGOMERY STREET
312 NORTH SPRING STREET
$50 CAPITOL MALL
1130 "Q" STREET
000 "B" STREET
201 NORTH "E" STREET
SUITE 240
SUITE 1748
surre 6844
QUITE 2480
SUITE 2240
SHITE 210
SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94111
LOS ANGELES. CA 90012
SACRAMENTO. CA 96814
FREEND. CA 83721
SAN DOEGO, CA 92101
SAN BERNARDINO, CA 92401
(415) 402-0100
(213) 884-5000
1916) 440-2787
(500) 487-5109
(619) 239-3884
19091 880-8525
PRINTED ON RECYCLED PAPER
90 PAGE
SNOWANDNA PARENTS
606925680
13:97 12/17/1999
The Honorable Donna Shalala
Secretary of Department of Health and Human Services
200 Independence Ave., SW
Washington, DC 20201
Dear Madam Shalala:
Four the past six years, the Senate Labor-HHS-Education
Appropriations Subcommittee has included report language urging
your agency to utilize discretionary funds to assist Parents
Anonymous, Inc. in maintaining and expanding a national network of
mutual support and self help programs to strengthen families in
partnership with their communities to prevent and treat child abuse
and neglect. Congress continues to support the exemplary work of
Parents Anonymous because of their proven effective community-
based model which is the only program highlighted in the Child
Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act of 1996 (CAPTA). For more
than 30 years, Parents Anonymous has served families all across
America which has changed the lives of children for more than a
generation.
We are asking you to continue the $ 1 million (previously bid out for
the past two years to carry out section 105(a)(2) of CAPTA: Mutual
Support Program) for FY 2000 based on the Committee's Report
106-166 which states: "The Committee recognizes the work of
Parents Anonymous, the oldest and largest child abuse prevention
organization. Through funding from the Child Abuse Prevention Act,
Parents Anonymous works in community-based settings to help at-
risk parents develop good coping skills. The Committee notes that
continued funding of Parents Anonymous will strengthen families and
their communities in the fight against child abuse."
I am hopeful that we can work together to ensure that Parents
Anonymous' vital child abuse prevention efforts will be continued SO
that some of the many cries for help by families in my state and
throughout the country can be answered.
Thank you again for your attention to this important matter.
Sincerely,
Clinton Presidential Records
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of digitization. To see the full publication please search online or
visit the Clinton Presidential Library's Research Room.
U.S. Department of Justice
Office of Justice Programs
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
Shay Bilchik, Administrator
April 1999
JUVENILE JUSTICE BULLETIN
Parents Anonymous
Strengthening
From the Administrator
Strengthening
Family
Series
Problems arising within the family may
lead to problem behaviors with adverse
Families
consequences for children and commu
nities. Strengthening families is a fund
amental principle of OJJDP's Compre
hensive Strategy for Serious Violent
Teresa Rafael, M.S.W., and Lisa Pion-Berlin, Ph.D.
and Chronic Juvenile Offenders and this
Bulletin provides information about a
The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delin-
meetings for parents and children. Each
program that enhances the capability of
quency Prevention (OJJDP) is dedicated to
year, approximately 100,000¹ parents and
families to help their children.
preventing and reversing trends of in-
their children come together in Parents
Parents Anonymous, Inc., leads
creased delinquency and violence among
Anonymous⁵M groups to learn new skills,
network of affiliated community based
adolescents. These trends have alarmed
transform their attitudes and behaviors,
groups that hold.weekly meetings led
the public during the past decade and chal-
and create long-term positive changes in
by parents and professionally trained
lenged the juvenile justice system. It is
their lives. These weekly groups are led
facilitators This Bulletin describes
widely accepted that increases in delin-
by parents and professionally trained
how the organization works to
quency and violence over the past decade
facilitators and are free of charge to par-
strengthen families by promoting
are rooted in a number of interrelated so-
ticipants. While the parents are meeting,
parent leadership, mutual support
cial problems-child abuse and neglect,
their children are usually engaged in spe-
shared leadership, and personal growth
alcohol and drug abuse, youth conflict and
cialized programs to promote healthy
Programs that support positive develop
aggression, and early sexual involve-
growth and development, and free child-
ment are also offered for children.
ment-that may originate within the family
care is provided in sites in which these
structure. The focus of OJJDP's Family
programs are unavailable. Many State and
The Bulletintells the story of the crea
Strengthening Series is to provide assis-
local Parents Anonymous programs op-
tion of arents Anonymous by a
tance to ongoing efforts across the country
erate 24-hour telephone helplines to pro-
concern mother. and nersocial.
to strengthen the family unit by discussing
vide an immediate response to parents
worker, summarizes its structure and
the effectiveness of family intervention
seeking help. Parents Anonymous⁵ also
describes key program components A
programs and providing resources to
raises awareness and educates the public
typical weekly meeting is detailed and
families and communities.
on critical issues and community solutions
examples of Parents Anonymous
Parents Anonymous, Inc., the oldest
and joins with community, State, and Fed-
programs are provided
national child abuse prevention organiza-
eral policymakers to promote effective ser-
OJJDP has been partnering.with
tion, is dedicated to strengthening fami-
vices for families across America.
Parents Anonymous Inc., since 1994 to
lies through innovative strategies that
Parents or adults in parenting roles
promote shared leadership and mutual
promote mutual support and parent
(e.g., grandparents, aunts, uncles, foster
support in ethnically and culturally
leadership. Founded in 1970 through the
parents, stepparents, or older siblings)
diverse settings across the Nation: After
joint efforts of a courageous parent who
who are concerned about their parent-
reading this Bulletin you will also
sought help in providing a safe and
ing abilities and seeking support, infor-
appreciate their contribution to those
caring home for her children and a social
mation, and training are welcome at Par-
worthy goals.,
worker who believed that parents are
ents Anonymous groups, whatever the
their own best agents of change, Parents
age of their children or their current
Shay Bilchik
Anonymous, Inc., currently leads a
Administrator
dynamic national network of affiliated
I
Based on information provided by the national
community-based groups with weekly
network.
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
PARENTS
PROPOSED CHANGES TO THE CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION
Anonymous
AND TREATMENT ACT OF 1996
Strengthening Families All Across America
MODIFY 105(a)(2) :
(2) MUTUAL SUPPORT PROGRAMS. - THE SECRETARY
SHALL AWARD A GRANT TO PARENTS ANONYMOUS, INC. TO
ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN A NATIONAL NETWORK OF PARENTS
ANONYMOUS MUTUAL SUPPORT AND SHARED LEADERSHIP
GROUPS; ESTABLISH AND MAINTAIN A NATIONAL HELPLINE;
CONDUCT A NATIONAL PUBLIC AWARENESS CAMPAIGN;
MAINTAIN A NATIONAL DATABASE AND ENGAGE IN RESEARCH
ACTIVITIES, AS A MEANS OF STRENGTHENING FAMILIES IN
PARTNERSHIP WITH THEIR COMMUNITIES.
AUTHORIZATION-THERE ARE AUTHORIZED TO BE
APPROPRIATED TO CARRY OUT THIS SECTION -
(1) $ 2,000,000 FOR FISCAL YEAR 2001
(2) $ 4,000,000 FOR FISCAL YEAR 2002
(3) $ 6,000,000 FOR FISCAL YEAR 2003 AND
(4) $ 8,000,000 FOR FISCAL YEAR 2004.
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
675 WEST FOOTHILL BLVD.
SUITE 220
CLAREMONT CALFORNIA
91711-3475
(909) 621-6184
FAX (909) 625-6304
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org
e-mail: [email protected]
Calendar No. 290
106TH CONGRESS
1st Session
}
{
REPORT
SENATE
106-166
DEPARTMENTS OF LABOR, HEALTH AND HUMAN SERV-
ICES, AND EDUCATION AND RELATED AGENCIES APPRO-
PRIATION BILL, 2000
SEPTEMBER 29, 1999.-Ordered to be printed
Mr. SPECTER, from the Committee on Appropriations,
submitted the following
REPORT
[To accompany S. 1650]
The Committee on Appropriations reports the bill (S. 1650) mak-
ing appropriations for Departments of Labor, Health and Human
Services, and Education and related agencies for the fiscal year
ending September 30, 2000, and for other purposes, reports favor-
ably thereon and recommends that the bill do pass.
Amount of budget authority
Total bill as reported to Senate
$324,157,991,000
Amount of adjusted appropriations, 1999
300,627,424,000
Budget estimates, 2000
325,069,040,000
The bill as reported to the Senate:
Over the adjusted appropriations for 1999
+ 23,530,567,000
Under the budget estimates for 2000
- 911,049,000
59-736
216
treating victims of child abuse. The program coordinates housing,
police, and medical facilities in a single, nonthreatening environ-
ment. The Committee understands that if the facility were ex.
panded, it could meet the needs of additional numbers of children.
The Committee is aware of the Hale County School System's ef.
forts to deliver hypertension services, child abuse prevention coun-
seling, and abstinence and healthy lifestyle education to residents
of Hale County, AL.
The Committee recognizes the work of Parents Anonymous, the
oldest and largest child abuse prevention organization. Through
funding from the Child Abuse Prevention Act, Parents Anonymous
works in community-based settings to help at-risk parents develop
good coping skills. The Committee notes that continued funding of
Parents Anonymous will strengthen families and their communities
in the fight against child abuse.
The Committee is also aware of the efforts of other parent self-
help organizations that are working to prevent child abuse. The
Committee recognizes that Child Abuse Prevention Act funds
would allow these organizations to help more families in crisis.
The Committee has supported Family Place in Louisville, Ken-
tucky as a family-centered model for treating victims of child
abuse. The Committee recognizes that the funding provided by the
Department in fiscal year 1999 was not sufficient to fully support
Family Place's protocols. Additional funding would allow the dem-
onstration to be conducted in a scientific and statistically valid way
so it can be determined if this program should be replicated nation-
ally.
The Committee applauds the success of the Healthy Families
Home Visiting Program in Alaska for its success in preventing
child abuse. The Committee has learned that Alaska has one of the
highest rates of child abuse in the nation. The Healthy Families
Home Visiting Program is supported by the State of Alaska, in CO-
operation with the Bristol Bay Native Association and the Rural
Alaska Community Action program. The Committee believes that
incidences of child abuse could be lowered dramatically if the De-
partment were to provide additional funds to this program. The
Committee believes that funding for the Better Beginnings project
in Alaska would help further address the serious child abuse prob-
lem in the State.
The Committee is aware of the efforts of the Texas A&M Univer-
sity-Corpus Christi's early childhood development center in assist-
ing low-income children. Recognizing that parents are the child's
first teachers, the center will focus on ways to help parents interact
positively with their children. The Committee recognizes the value
of the center in reducing child abuse by teaching parents good cop-
ing skills. Strategies to reduce child abuse include parenting class-
es, family nights, and home visits.
The Committee is aware that respite services can prevent more
costly out-of-home placements by providing planned and emergency
relief to primary caregivers of individuals with disabilities. Respite
services can prevent child abuse by allowing parents the oppor-
tunity to receive periods of relief from the enormous burden of car-
ing for their disabled children. ^ national resource center like
ARCH has helped many families find the respite services they
105TH CONGRESS
}
REPORT
2d Session
HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
105-825
MAKING OMNIBUS CONSOLIDATED AND
EMERGENCY SUPPLEMENTAL APPROPRIA-
TIONS FOR FISCAL YEAR 1999
CONFERENCE REPORT
TO ACCOMPANY
H.R. 4328
OCTOBER 19, 1998.-Ordered to be printed
1286
for that purpose. The basic law requires that not less than four
percent of the appropriation be used for such activities. Finally, the
agreement includes $10,000,000 for the Secretary to carry out re-
search, demonstration and evaluation projects in fiscal year 2000.
SOCIAL SERVICES BLOCK GRANT
The conference agreement includes $1,909,000,000 as proposed
by the Senate instead of $2,299,000,000 as proposed by the House.
The agreement modifies a provision included in both bills that lim-
its the ability of States to transfer TANF funds to the Social Serv-
ices Block Grant. The transfer percentage allowed in fiscal years
1999 and 2000 will be 10 percent.
CHILDREN AND FAMILIES SERVICES PROGRAMS
(INCLUDING RESCISSIONS)
The conference agreement appropriates $6,137,087,000, instead
of $5,946,820,000 as proposed by the House and $6,113,784,000 as
proposed by the Senate. In addition, the agreement rescinds
$21,000,000 from permanent appropriations as proposed by both
the House and Senate.
The agreement does not include an advance appropriation of
$1,365,000,000 for Head Start for fiscal year 2000 proposed by the
Senate. All Head Start funds in the conference agreement are fiscal
year 1999 appropriations.
The agreement appropriates $105,000,000 from the Violent
Crime Reduction Trust Fund as proposed by the House instead of
$101,000,000 as proposed by the Senate.
The agreement includes language proposed by the Senate pro-
viding that $10,000,000 shall be available for establishing Individ-
ual Development Accounts, contingent upon the enactment of au-
thorizing legislation. The House had no similar provision. Also in-
cluded is an additional citation to the Social Security Act as pro-
posed by the Senate.
Within the amount provided for child abuse discretionary ac-
tivities, $1,000,000 is available for carrying out activities author-
ized by section 105(a)(2) of the Child Abuse Prevention and Treat-
ment Act and $2,000,000 is provided to fund a child abuse preven-
tion resource center for the Southeastern region of the United
States to be coordinated by the children's trust fund of Alabama.
Sufficient funds are included to enable the Department to give
full and fair consideration to a proposal under the Child Abuse Pre-
vention and Treatment Act for a national network to increase the
safety of children. The Public Children Services Association of Ohio
would be especially suited as a model for such a network.
Sufficient funds are available within the runaway and home-
less youth activities to fund the Center County Youth Services of
State College and Three Rivers Youth of Pittsburgh at the fiscal
year 1998 funding level.
The conference agreement concurs with the Senate report lan-
guage calling for a pilot study to carefully examine information sys-
tems issues confronting States as a result of welfare reform, such
as data collection and reporting requirements, case management
systems, and the integration of multiple systems.
CELEBRATING 30 YEARS
OTHER CAPTA CHANGES:
PARENTS
Anomy innoluis
Strengthening Families All Across America
GRANTS TO STATES FOR CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT PREVENTION AND
TREATMENT PROGRAMS
UNDER 106 (a)
INSERT
(9) DEVELOPING AND ENHANCING THE CAPACITY OF
COMMUNITY-BASED PARENTS ANONYMOUS ORGANIZATIONS
TO INTEGRATE SHARED LEADERSHIP STRATEGIES BETWEEN
PARENTS AND PROFESSIONALS TO PREVENT AND TREAT
CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD LEVEL.
UNDER 206 (a)(3)(A)
INSERT NEW:
(ii) PARENTS ANONYMOUS MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUPS AND PARENT
LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES;
UNDER 209 (3)
MODIFY (i) AND (ii):
(i)
Parent education; (move the rest to ii)
(ii)
PARENTS ANONYMOUS MUTUAL SUPPORT GROUPS AND
PARENT LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES; TOGETHER WITH AND
SERVICES TO FACILITATE;
THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION
675 WEST FOOTHILL BLVD.
SUITE 220
CLAREMONT. CALFORNIA
91711-3475
(909) 621-6184
FAX (909) 625-6304
www.parentsanonymous-natl.org
e-mail:[email protected]
Clinton Presidential Records
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SNOLLVAONNI
Summer 1999
Parents Anonymous, Inc. Strengthening Families All Across America
Vol. III, No. 2
Most parent leaders ever!
National Leadership Conference a Success
N
early 400 people from 29 states
Susan Notkin, Director of the
traveled by train, plane, bus,
Children's Program, Edna McConnell
and car to the 1999 Parents
Clark Foundation spoke at Friday's
AnonymousS National Leadership
breakfast plenary about their
Conference, "Celebrating the Strengths
"Community Partnerships to Protect
of Families and Communities: A Shared
Children," which she leads as the
Vision for Our Future," held in
largest CPS reform effort in four select-
FROM THE PRESIDENT & CEO
Arlington, Virginia, Feb. 3-6, 1999.
ed communities in the United States.
DR. LISA PION-BERLIN
Parents Anonymous, Inc. was able to
Shay Bilchik, Administrator Office
raise funds to support all participants
of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency
The 1999 National Leadership
including 200 parent leaders, staff, and
Prevention spoke on "Strengthening
Conference provided the perfect
facilitators from Parents Anonymous
Families to Prevent Juvenile
opportunity to kick off the 30th
organizations throughout the country.
Delinquency" and the vital work of
anniv of ,Parents
Given our commitment to shared lead-
Parents Anonymous
Anony mous Inc strong
ership parent leaders, program staff,
Thursday was a busy day as partici-
commitment to shared leadership
board members, executive directors,
pants visited more than 113 congres-
was demonstrated by the under
volunteers, and national staff improved
sional leaders. Said one parent leader
writing of-nearly 400 parent
their knowledge, skills, and abilities.
of her experience, "I was very nervous
leaders, facilitators, volunteers
Several plenary sessions were led by
but my representative was wonderful
and program staff who attended
noted leaders in the field of child abuse
and seemed really interested in my
our four day/conference. The
prevention and juvenile delinquency
story! I will never forget this day!
learning and sharing that are the
prevention. Commissioner Patricia
It was awesome!!"
essence of Parents Anonymous
Montoya of the Administration on
Friday and Saturday were filled with
was exemplified through the
Children, Youth and Families, U.S.
27 skill-building workshops, arranged
workshops, networking, plenary
Department of Health and Human
within specialized training tracks for
sessions and congressional
Services shared "Vital Issues in Child
parent leaders, program staff and volun-
cacy activities of our partici
Abuse Prevention" (see page 4) at the
teers, and executive directors and board
spants. The energy and enthusi-
opening plenary session.
members. Participants reported a feel-
asm of the participants will be
ing of enthusiasm and the acquisition of
taken.back to their local.commu-
CELEBRATING
30
real tools for revitalizing existing
inities to strengthen and expand
YEARS
Parents Anonymous groups and
Parents Anonymous sorthat
establishing new ones.
smore parents can be reached
Ron Culberson, Saturday morning's
through vita !program:
plenary speaker, had participants rolling
In keeping with the theme of
in the aisles with his presentation of
our conference, A.Shared
"Life is Too Important to be Taken
Vision for Our Future would
Seriously: How to Find Balance in
like to the course for our
PARENTS
Life." One participant remarked, "Ron
growth and de elopment by
Culberson has to be the best speaker I
offering free training and-techni-
Strengthening Families All ACTOSS America
have ever heard. He should be at every
cal assistance to community-
conference."
based organizations who wish to
Inside this issue:
In addition to plenary sessions,
start Parents Anonymous
1999 Awards
workshops, and other conference-relat-
groups:
Child Abuse Prevention Month
ed events, many conference-goers also
Parents may the article in
Activities
4
managed to do some sightseeing in
Redbook magazine or see a-local
Washington, D.C. including a special
news program on Parents
Program Expansion
mous and want to get
tour of the Holocaust Memorial
the help they immediately.
Protecting Children
Museum, led by Susan Berlin, Lisa
Pion-Berlin's mother.
continued page.1
Conference photos on page 6.
© 1999, Parents Anonymous, Inc.
Clinton Presidential Records
Digital Records Marker
This is not a presidential record. This is used as an administrative
marker by the William J. Clinton Presidential Library Staff.
This marker identifies the place of a publication.
Publications have not been scanned in their entirety for the purpose
of digitization. To see the full publication please search online or
visit the Clinton Presidential Library's Research Room.
Parent Networker
PARENTS
Anony mous"
Summer 1999
By parents, for parents
Employer Support of Parents Anonymous
Beneficial to All
by Sue Smith, MO
The contributions of Parents
Neighborhood Network. Parents
and trainings and make presentations
AnonymousSM parent leaders are vital to
Anonymous, Inc. was holding a facili-
about Parents AnonymousSM, like the
the success of Parents Anonymous$
tator training and I decided to attend.
one I gave recently for Children's Trust
programs and add to the well-being and
They were only expecting 25 people
Fund of Missouri.
safety of local communities. Parent
but more than 100 showed up for the
Thanks in large part to the Family
leaders throughout the country depend
training.
Resource Center, I was able to attend
upon the support of their employers
After the presentation, the St.
the Parents Anonymous, Inc. National
and, in return, become positive repre-
Louis Neighborhood Network began
Conference in Washington, DC. The
sentatives of their companies commit-
asking parents if they would like to
Center allowed me to take the necessary
ment to the families in their own com-
join a Parents Anonymous group.
time off.
munities. Sue Smith, a member of the
Within one month, we had a group
Even my work as a member of the
National Parent Leadership Team, tells
started.
National Parent Leadership Team is
how her employer supports her work
As a Parents Anonymous parent
encouraged.
with Parents AnonymousSM.
leader I've learned a lot as far as dis-
My work with Parents Anonymous
When I have a Parents Anony-
ciplining my children, and I have
would not be possible without the sup-
more confidence than I've ever had. I
mousˢM-related activity, I know I can
port of my colleagues Greg Echele,
count on my employer for support.
have also learned how to truly have
Loren Ripley, Catherine Coyle, and Pam
fun with my kids. In the group I feel
Moussette.
I work for the
I would encour-
Family Resource
Center in St.
I would encourage all those who employ Parents
age all those who
Louis, MO, a
employ Parents
treatment center
Anonymous⁵^
parent leaders and volunteers to
Anonymous⁵M par-
ent leaders and
for child abuse
and neglect pre-
support the work that these individuals do.
volunteers to sup-
vention. The
port the work that
Center offers a variety of services
supported, not judged.
these individuals do. By doing so, the
including family and parental counsel-
The group was especially helpful
organization is making a great contribu-
ing, therapeutic pre-school, intensive
in supporting me during the pregnan-
tion to its community by improving the
family preservation services and group
cy of my 17-year-old daughter. I was
lives of families and, most importantly,
therapy.
re-living my own teenage experience
helping to prevent child abuse.
They just embraced my involvement
so it was particularly difficult. Both
with Parents Anonymous in any way
the Parents Anonymous⁵ group and
Catherine Coyle, Family Treatment
they could, right from the start.
my family were absolutely wonderful.
Supervisor, Family Resource
I found out about Parents
The Family Resource Center
Center, St. Louis, MO:
allows me to take the time I need to
Anonymous through the St. Louis
serve as a parent leader for Parents
I-think Parents Anonymous
Anonymous In fact, my starting
Inside:
date at Family Resource Center was
has given.Sue alot of opportunities
spent at a planning meeting in
to expand her knowledge.base and
2 1999 Award Winners
Washington, DC held by Parents
grow as a parent and as an
3 "Imagine"
Anonymous, Inc.
employee
Even though my job as a family
4 1999 National Leadership
Our support of Parents Anonymous SM
Conference
support worker keeps me busy, I am
a message to other employees that
still able to make time for Parents
support-and appreciate Sue's
6 Group Tips
Anonymous activities. I attend
efforts in helping parents.
7 OOBLECK
media events, information sessions,
"
Clinton Presidential Records
Digital Records Marker
This is not a presidential record. This is used as an administrative
marker by the William J. Clinton Presidential Library Staff.
This marker identifies the place of a publication.
Publications have not been scanned in their entirety for the purpose
of digitization. To see the full publication please search online or
visit the Clinton Presidential Library's Research Room.
Parent
Networker
GRI
By parents, for parents
SUMMER, 1996
Learning to be a father
by Al Gore, Vice President of the United States and father of four
How does a man learn to be a
and work hard at whatever I do. His
But our children may be even more
father? I believe, if he is lucky, he
energy and enthusiasm for life, even at
anxious to have us there after losing a
learns from three sources: from his
the age of 88, continue to amaze me.
close game, on a long weekend bike
own father, from his children and
I know I didn't realize what I was
ride, or for a serious talk about a friend
from other fathers.
learning at the time, but these lessons
in distress. At times like these, I learn
My father's dedication to the public
from my father are reinforced daily in
more about them as individuals and
good made a deep impression on me.
my life with my own children.
about the experiences that outrage or
He led many fights for what he be-
The lessons I'm learning from my
inspire them, their feelings about
lieved. As a child, I watched him pass
children are very much in the moment.
themselves, their friends and the trou-
the first Medicare bill ever to win ap-
The times that are most crucial to them
bling issues that all of our children
proval in the Senate. As a college stu-
don't necessarily fit easily into a busy
face these days.
dent, I was intensely proud of his
parent's schedule. As parents we may
Tipper and I have learned that if we
courageous decision to fight for civil
are open to learning from our children,
rights and against the Vietnam war,
we will be amused, worried, ex-
even though it virtually guaranteed his
hausted, delighted, frustrated, filled
re-election defeat. By standing up for
with pride and greatly humbled. Each
what he believed was right, my father
of our four children-three girls and
taught me that principles are more
one boy--has helped us understand
important than winning elections.
our roles as parents in different ways.
And by growing up and working on
I try to spend the proverbial "quality
a farm in Carthage, Tennessee, I learned
time" regularly with each of them
what it means to be a good steward of
alone, as well as quality time together
the earth. On long walks through the
as a family. But "quantity time" also is
woods and along the Caney Forest River,
important. I've learned to take my
by growing crops and raising animals,
cues from them, and I've learned that
my father showed me what it means to
I can't necessarily plan or predict when
respect the environment that sustains
I will be needed most.
us. His influence is still with me today
A question we often don't consider
in my work to protect and preserve the
is how we can support other men in
environment.
their attempts to be good fathers. I
Most importantly, however, my fa-
believe fathers can provide invaluable
ther taught me to love unconditionally.
information and support when they
Seeing his respect and admiration for
reach out to each other.
my mother, and the partnership that
Two years ago, my wife Tipper and I
they formed, I learned the meaning of a
Learning from his children: Vice President
hosted an annual family reunion con-
strong and loving marriage. My father
Gore with his wife, Tipper (seated left)
ference on fatherhood and reconnect-
and their children (clockwise) Sarah,
and mother always made time for each
Karenna, Albert and Kristin.
ing men in the lives of children. What
other, and for my sister and me. He had
came out of the conference was a
high expectations of his children, but
be determined not to miss milestones
national program called "Father to Fa-
my father never pushed either my sister
in our children's lives, such as their first
ther" which helps men reach out to each
or me to follow any particular career
steps, their first words, their first day in
other to become better fathers. Many of
path. In fact, my father's greatest advice
school. Later, it's the departure for the
the country's leading fatherhood or-
to me has been to follow my dreams
senior prom and starting a first job.
continued on page 8
Copyright arents Anonymous Inc. 7196