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1252268
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3/22/75 - Annual Gridiron Dinner
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1252268
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document
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3/22/75 - Annual Gridiron Dinner
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President's Speeches and Statements Reading Copies (Ford Administration)
Reading Copies of Presidential Speeches and Statements
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Speeches, addresses, etc.
Political satire
Wit and humor
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1252268
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22
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1975-03-22
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3
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1975
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22
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1975-03-22
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3
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1975
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The original documents are located in Box 6, folder "3/22/75 - Annual Gridiron Dinner" of
the President's Speeches and Statements: Reading Copies at the Gerald R. Ford
Presidential Library.
Copyright Notice
The copyright law of the United States (Title 17, United States Code) governs the making of
photocopies or other reproductions of copyrighted material. Gerald Ford donated to the United
States of America his copyrights in all of his unpublished writings in National Archives collections.
Works prepared by U.S. Government employees as part of their official duties are in the public
domain. The copyrights to materials written by other individuals or organizations are presumed to
remain with them. If you think any of the information displayed in the PDF is subject to a valid
copyright claim, please contact the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library.
Digitized from Box 6 of President's Speeches and Statements:
Reading Copies at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Library
THE WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON
From: Robert T. Hartmann
To:
Bob Roth, Historian
Gridiron Club
a.m.
Date: April 2, 1975
Time
XXMX
Pursuant to your request, attached
is the President's original speech
at the Gridiron Club dinner on
March 22 which he has agreed to
surrender in this one case.
THE PRESIDENT HAS SEENAS.
ANNUAL GRIDIRON DINNER
SATURDAY, MARCH 22, 1975
- I -
PRESIDENT-WARREN, LADY AND GENTLEMEN OF THE
GRIDIRON, DISTINGUISHED GUESTS:
FIRST, I'D LIKE TO CLEAR UP ONE THING.
WOULD
YOU ALL TAKE A LOOK AT THAT GREAT CARTOON ON THE BACK OF YOUR
MENU
t
THE ONE OF THE GUY PLAYING FOOTBALL WITHOUT A HELMET.
- 2 -
THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRAWING OF ME CENTERING
A FOOTBALL.
THERE WAS A LITTLE CONFUSION ABOUT IT.
SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS A PICTURE OF BILL COLBY OF THE CIA
-- PICKING UP A SUBMARINE.
- 3 -
THIS HAS REALLY BEEN A WONDERFUL EVENING.
IN
PARTICULAR, I ENJOYED VICE PRESIDENT ROCKEFELLER'S SPEECH.
OBVIOUSLY, NELSON'S LIFE HERE IN WASHINGTON IS A BIG
CHANGE FROM WHAT IT WAS IN NEW YORK.
IN NEW YORK HE COULD
GO OVER TO THE CHASE MANHATTAN BANK AND SEE HIS MONEY.
IN WASHINGTON IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
IN
WASHINGTON HE GOES OVER TO INTERNAL REVENUE AND LETS HIS MONEY
SEE HIM!
- 4 -
I'M VERY SORRY SECRETARY KISS INGER COULDN'T BE HERE.
I ALWAYS ENJOY LISTENING TO HENRY.
HE'S so CALM.
so RELAXED
so SELF-POSSESSED.
HENRY IS THE ONLY MAN I KNOW WHO CAN
GIVE A PRESS CONFERENCE AND HAVE HIS SHOES SHINED AT THE SAME
TIME.
- 5 -
SOME TWENTY YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS A YOUNG
CONGRESSMAN, THE LATE BILL PYPER INVITED ME TO MY FIRST
GRIDIRION DINNER.
A LOT HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN.
FOR INSTANCE, YOU'VE GONE CO-ED
WHICH IS GREAT.
BUT, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING:
HELEN THOMAS IS NO HOUSE-MOTHER!
-5a-
BUT I DO HAVE ONE SUGGESTION:
NOW THAT YOU'VE ADMITTED LADIES TO GRIDIRON MEMBERSHIP, \
IN THE INTEREST OF EQUAL RIGHTS t THEY OUGHT TO HAVE TO WEAR
THIS KIND OF COLLAR, Too.
- 6 -
PERSONALLY, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT VERY COMFORTABLE IN
THE GLOW OF THE GRIDIRON.
WHEN NAT FINNEY ASKED ME TO SPEAK
FOR THE REPUBLICANS ABOUT SEVEN YEARS AGO, I FOUND MYSELF PAIRED
AGAINST VICE PRESIDENT HUBERT HUMPHREY.
LAST YEAR,
JERRY TER HORST INVITED ME TO COMPETE FOR ATTENTION WITH
SCOOP JACKSON.
- 7 -
TONIGHT, WHEN I THOUGHT I'D FINALLY HAVE THE SPOTLIGHT
ALL TO MYSELF, I FIND MYSELF SHARING IT WITH ELLA GRASSO,
HAPPY ROCKEFELLER AND MY OWN VERY FAVORITE LOBBYIST, BETTY.
BUT I AM GRATEFUL TO LOU WARREN FOR ONE THING.
I STILL GET THE LAST WORD
AT LEAST UNTIL I GET HOME.
!
- 8 -
I DON'T WANT TO OVERLOOK HELEN THOMAS.
I LEARNED
THAT LONG BEFORE I EVER BECAME PRESIDENT.
THROUGH THE YEARS, HELEN HAS PRACTICED A FINELY
BALANCED BLEND OF JOURNALISM AND ACUPUNCTURE.
SHE HAS
PRAISED ME WHEN IT WAS EARNED -- AND NEEDLED ME WHEN IT WAS
NECESSARY.
AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GRATEFUL FOR HER FAIRNESS.
- 9 -
NOW
-- I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I LISTENED WITH
GREAT INTEREST -- AND I MIGHT ADD, GREAT SYMPATHY TO MY
GOOD FRIEND BOB STRAUSS.
- 10 -
I THINK THE CHAIRMAN DID THE BEST ANYBODY COULD FOR A
PARTY THAT'S SUFFERING FROM THE DOMINO THEORY
t
BUT IN REVERSE.
THE MINUTE ONE CANDIDATE STANDS UP -- SIX MORE FOLLOW HIM.
- II -
BUT I AM SORRY BOB STRAUSS DIDN'T ANSWER THE ONE
BURNING POLITICAL QUESTION THAT'S REALLY ON EVERYBODY'S MIND
TONIGHT:
"HAS MOE UDALL'S CAMPAIGN FOR PRESIDENT -- PEAKED TOO
SOON?"
- I2 -
I DO WANT TO CONGRATULATE SCOOP JACKSON AND ALL THOSE
OTHER DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES RUNNING ALONG WITH HIM.
THE ONES WITH THE HIGH HOPES AND THE LOW PROFILES.
OBVIOUSLY, SENATOR JACKSON HAS MANY ADVANTAGES.
WITH A NAME LIKE SCOOP, AT LEAST HE HAS THE HOWARD JOHNSON VOTE.
- 13 -
AND ANOTHER DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE, JIMMY CARTER, HAD
FANTASTICALLY GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS THIS WEEK.
THE GOOD NEWS
is, JIMMY CAME RUNNING INTO HIS OFFICE SHOUTING, "LOOK AT THIS
LATEST GALLUP POLL!
IT HAS ME RIGHT ON TOP OF THE LIST OF.
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES!"
THE BAD NEWS IS --- HE WAS HOLDING
IT. UPSIDE DOWN.
- I4 -
I'M ONLY FOOLING.
WHEN IT COMES TO THE WHITE HOUSE,
LET ME EXTEND A SINCERE WELCOME TO ALL THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES
WHO WANT TO GET IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR.
AND TO ALL THE REPUBLICANS, TOO.
YOU HAVE MY PROMISE THAT I'LL DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE
TO HELP THEM GET INTO THE WHITE HOUSE -- ON THE GROUND FLOOR.
AS LONG- AS I STAY ON THE SECOND.
- 15 -
SINCE I MOVED INTO THAT HISTORIC HOUSE, I HAVE
LEARNED HOW MUCH OF A LIFESAVING MEDICINE A LITTLE LAUGHTER
IS FOR PRESIDENTS.
so IF A FINE EVENING OF FUN AND FRIENDSHIP LIKE THIS
IS GOOD FOR PRESIDENTS IT MUST ALSO BE GOOD FOR AMERICA.
: - 16 -
THE GRIDIRON CLUB NURTURES THIS NATIONAL ASSET, AND
I AM GLAD WE CAN ALL POKE GENTLE JOKES AT OURSELVES AND AT ONE
ANOTHER THIS WAY -- SINGEING WITHOUT REALLY BURNING.
I HOPE IT WILL ALWAYS STAY THAT WAY.
- 17 -
AMERICANS ARE A DIVERSE PEOPLE LIVING - TOGETHER IN MANY
DIFFERENT STYLES AND PLACES.
WE ARE UNITED MORE BY THE WAY WE
LOOK AT THINGS THAN BY THE TRADITIONAL TIES OF BLOOD OR BELIEF
OR
BATTLES LONG FORGOTTEN.
AND WHEN WE ARE ABLE TO LOOK AT THE
BRIGHTER SIDE OF OUR TROUBLES, AND THE LIGHTER SIDE OF OUR
STRUGGLES AND SEE THE SMILE THAT LIES JUST BELOW THE SURFACE OF
OUR NEIGHBOR'S FACE, WE AMERICANS ARE AT OUR VERY BEST.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
END OF TEXT